My professional curriculum is one frought with more twists and turns that the road to Mt Tourmalet in France

1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory,
but I got canned. Couldn't concentrate.


2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack,
but just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.


3. After that, I tried being a Tailor,
but wasn't suited for it -- mainly because it was a sew-sew job.


4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory,
but that was too exhausting..


5. Then, tried being a Chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life,
but just didn't have the thyme.


6. Next, I attempted being a Deli Worker,
but any way I sliced it... couldn't cut the mustard.


7. My best job was a Musician,

but eventually found I wasn't noteworthy.


8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor,
but didn't have any patience.


9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory.
Tried hard but just didn't fit in.


10. I became a Professional Fisherman,
but discovered I couldn't live on my net income.


11. Managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company,
but the work was just too draining.


12. So then I got a job in a Workout Centre,
but they said I wasn't fit for the job..


13. After many years of trying to find steady work,
I finally got a job as a Historian - until I realized there was no future in it.

14. My last job was working in Starbucks,
but had to quit because it was the same old grind.

15. SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT


AND I FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!