The British Penny - European Union Directive No. 456179

In order to bring about further integration with the single European currency, the Euro, all citizens of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland must be made aware that the phrase “Spending a Penny” is not to be used after 31 December 2014.

From this date onwards, the correct term will be:

“Euronating.”

It is hoped that this will be a great relief to everyone.

A fighter pilot walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman.

He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his oversized watch for a moment.

The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"

No," he replies, "I just got this state-of-the-art watch, and I was just testing it."

The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"

The pilot says, "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically."

The lady says, "What's it telling you now?"

Well, it says you're not wearing any panties."

The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!"

The fighter pilot smirks, taps his watch and says, "Damn thing's an hour fast."

And that, my friends....is Confidence.