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A late Friday funny,,,(a real oldie...)




 


THE GUNFIGHTER...


A young cowboy sitting in a saloon one Saturday night recognized an elderly man standing at the bar who, in his day, had been the fastest gun in the West.



The cowboy took a place next to the old-timer, bought him a drink and told him of his great ambition to be a great shot...

Could you give me some tips?' he asked.

The old man said, 'Well, for one thing, you're wearing your gun too high - tie the holster a little lower down on your leg.'

'Will that make me a better gunfighter?'

'Sure will'

the young man did as he was told, stood up, whipped out his .44 and shot the bow tie off the piano player.

'That's terrific!' said the cowboy. 'Got any more tips?'

'Yep,' said the old man. 'Cut a notch out of your holster where the hammer hits it – that’ll give you a smoother draw'

'Will that make me a better gunfighter?' asked the young man.

'You bet it will,' said the old-timer.

The young man took out his knife, cut the notch, stood up, drew his gun in a blur, and then shot a cufflink off the piano player.

'Wow!' exclaimed the cowboy 'I'm learnin' somethin' here. Got any more tips?'

The old man pointed to a large can in a corner of the saloon. 'See that axle grease over there? Coat your gun with it.'

The young man smeared some of the grease on the barrel of his gun.

'No,' said the old-timer, 'I mean smear it all over the gun, handle and all..'

'Will that make me a better gunfighter?' asked the young man.

'No,' said the old-timer, 'but when Wyatt Earp gets done playing the piano, he's gonna shove that gun up your ass, and it won't hurt as much.'  









 
 







 

The text you are quoting:




 


THE GUNFIGHTER...


A young cowboy sitting in a saloon one Saturday night recognized an elderly man standing at the bar who, in his day, had been the fastest gun in the West.



The cowboy took a place next to the old-timer, bought him a drink and told him of his great ambition to be a great shot...

Could you give me some tips?' he asked.

The old man said, 'Well, for one thing, you're wearing your gun too high - tie the holster a little lower down on your leg.'

'Will that make me a better gunfighter?'

'Sure will'

the young man did as he was told, stood up, whipped out his .44 and shot the bow tie off the piano player.

'That's terrific!' said the cowboy. 'Got any more tips?'

'Yep,' said the old man. 'Cut a notch out of your holster where the hammer hits it – that’ll give you a smoother draw'

'Will that make me a better gunfighter?' asked the young man.

'You bet it will,' said the old-timer.

The young man took out his knife, cut the notch, stood up, drew his gun in a blur, and then shot a cufflink off the piano player.

'Wow!' exclaimed the cowboy 'I'm learnin' somethin' here. Got any more tips?'

The old man pointed to a large can in a corner of the saloon. 'See that axle grease over there? Coat your gun with it.'

The young man smeared some of the grease on the barrel of his gun.

'No,' said the old-timer, 'I mean smear it all over the gun, handle and all..'

'Will that make me a better gunfighter?' asked the young man.

'No,' said the old-timer, 'but when Wyatt Earp gets done playing the piano, he's gonna shove that gun up your ass, and it won't hurt as much.'  









 
 







 


Jeffery SSep 19, 2014 @ 15:52
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Re: A late Friday funny,,,(a real oldie...)
Post 1

There is a slight problem here.  Could your joke be taken as digging at Americans and we have the same exchange of messages but possibly from irate Irish Americans?

The text you are quoting:

There is a slight problem here.  Could your joke be taken as digging at Americans and we have the same exchange of messages but possibly from irate Irish Americans?


Paul E, Sep 19, 2014 @ 18:54
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Re: A late Friday funny,,,(a real oldie...)
Post 2

There is a slight problem here.  Could your joke be taken as digging at Americans and we have the same exchange of messages but possibly from irate Irish Americans?


Sep 19, 14 18:54

Dixit.

The text you are quoting:

Dixit.


Ritchie, Sep 19, 2014 @ 19:31
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Re: A late Friday funny,,,(a real oldie...)
Post 3

There is a slight problem here.  Could your joke be taken as digging at Americans and we have the same exchange of messages but possibly from irate Irish Americans?


Sep 19, 14 18:54

Don't go there mate !!! (although would not surprise me in the least !!)

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Don't go there mate !!! (although would not surprise me in the least !!)


Jeffery S, Sep 19, 2014 @ 22:12
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Re: A late Friday funny,,,(a real oldie...)
Post 4

Dixit.


Sep 19, 14 19:31

Sorry Ritchie - might be late on Friday but I don't quite underststand ...Dixit ??

The text you are quoting:

Sorry Ritchie - might be late on Friday but I don't quite underststand ...Dixit ??


Jeffery S, Sep 19, 2014 @ 22:13
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Re: A late Friday funny,,,(a real oldie...)
Post 5

Sorry Ritchie - might be late on Friday but I don't quite underststand ...Dixit ??


Sep 19, 14 22:13

An argument from an authority.

The text you are quoting:

An argument from an authority.


Ritchie, Sep 19, 2014 @ 22:24
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Re: A late Friday funny,,,(a real oldie...)
Post 6

For Irish men or Scotts as matter of fact


Irish/Scottish Lubricant


Murphy's' old lady had been pregnant for some time and now the time had come.

He brought her to the doctor and the doctor began to deliver the baby.

She had a little boy, and the doctor looked over at Murphy and said.

'Hey, Murph! You just had you a son,! 'Ain't dat grand, !!'

Murphy got excited by this, but just then the doctor spoke up and said,'Hold on! We ain't finished yet, !'

The doctor then delivered a little girl.

He said,'Hey, Murph! You got you a daughter, !!!! She is a pretty lil ting, too....'

Murphy got kind of puzzled by this and then the doctor said, 'Hold on, we aint got done yet, !'

The doctor then delivered another boy and said, 'Murph, you just had yourself another boy, !'

Murphy said to the doctor,'Doc, what caused all of dem babies,?'

The doctor said,'You never know Murph, it was probably something that happened during conception.'

Murphy said,'Ah yeah, during conception.'

When Murph and his wife went home with their three children, he sat down with his wife and said,

'Mama, you remember dat night that we ran out of Vaseline and we had to use dat dere 3-in-1 Oil.'


She said, 'Yeah, I remember dat night...'

Murph said,

'I'll tell you, .....it's a freaking' good ting we didn't use dat WD-40.

The text you are quoting:

For Irish men or Scotts as matter of fact


Irish/Scottish Lubricant


Murphy's' old lady had been pregnant for some time and now the time had come.

He brought her to the doctor and the doctor began to deliver the baby.

She had a little boy, and the doctor looked over at Murphy and said.

'Hey, Murph! You just had you a son,! 'Ain't dat grand, !!'

Murphy got excited by this, but just then the doctor spoke up and said,'Hold on! We ain't finished yet, !'

The doctor then delivered a little girl.

He said,'Hey, Murph! You got you a daughter, !!!! She is a pretty lil ting, too....'

Murphy got kind of puzzled by this and then the doctor said, 'Hold on, we aint got done yet, !'

The doctor then delivered another boy and said, 'Murph, you just had yourself another boy, !'

Murphy said to the doctor,'Doc, what caused all of dem babies,?'

The doctor said,'You never know Murph, it was probably something that happened during conception.'

Murphy said,'Ah yeah, during conception.'

When Murph and his wife went home with their three children, he sat down with his wife and said,

'Mama, you remember dat night that we ran out of Vaseline and we had to use dat dere 3-in-1 Oil.'


She said, 'Yeah, I remember dat night...'

Murph said,

'I'll tell you, .....it's a freaking' good ting we didn't use dat WD-40.


Milord, Sep 20, 2014 @ 01:19
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Re: A late Friday funny,,,(a real oldie...)
Post 7

Another oldie!

The text you are quoting:

Another oldie!


Ritchie, Sep 20, 2014 @ 08:53
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