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Advice Required

My EX and I mutually agreed couple of months back that we'll move on as things are not working between us.


She invited me to attend her wedding next month.


Should i attend or not?


I'm in a state of dilemma.


 


Thanks in advance for helping me out !


-D


 

The text you are quoting:

My EX and I mutually agreed couple of months back that we'll move on as things are not working between us.


She invited me to attend her wedding next month.


Should i attend or not?


I'm in a state of dilemma.


 


Thanks in advance for helping me out !


-D


 


Dinesh VMay 22, 2015 @ 09:33
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Re: Advice Required
Post 1

Well, she has definately moved on... ;)


Shouldn't you do the same?  After all, you might just meet your future life-time partner at the wedding reception!  :D

The text you are quoting:

Well, she has definately moved on... ;)


Shouldn't you do the same?  After all, you might just meet your future life-time partner at the wedding reception!  :D


JulianT, May 22, 2015 @ 09:55
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Post 2

Thank You Julian !


 


haha.. Perhaps, i'm not too sure about the latter part which you mentioned :D


 


I'm not ready for that yet.

The text you are quoting:

Thank You Julian !


 


haha.. Perhaps, i'm not too sure about the latter part which you mentioned :D


 


I'm not ready for that yet.


Dinesh V, May 22, 2015 @ 10:11
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Post 3

i agree witeh julian, seeing her " tie the knot" may hurt but it will give you closure.


 

The text you are quoting:

i agree witeh julian, seeing her " tie the knot" may hurt but it will give you closure.


 


epicure, May 22, 2015 @ 10:41
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Post 4

Thanks Epicure.


I've now made my mind up. I shall visit her wedding, wish her luck with big smiles and put an end to all PERIOD

The text you are quoting:

Thanks Epicure.


I've now made my mind up. I shall visit her wedding, wish her luck with big smiles and put an end to all PERIOD


Dinesh V, May 22, 2015 @ 11:16
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Post 5

Guys, I like this conversion!


Xinian

The text you are quoting:

Guys, I like this conversion!


Xinian


Sarah Wang, May 22, 2015 @ 14:01
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Post 6

The least we can say is that she does not waste her time. Be the big guy here and just appear to the wedding. I guess you had friends in common so in any case you'll be able to stick with them.

The text you are quoting:

The least we can say is that she does not waste her time. Be the big guy here and just appear to the wedding. I guess you had friends in common so in any case you'll be able to stick with them.


yoyo lolo, May 22, 2015 @ 14:13
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Post 7

Go and take a lady friend:)

The text you are quoting:

Go and take a lady friend:)


Po W, May 22, 2015 @ 14:40
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Post 8

The least we can say is that she does not waste her time. Be the big guy here and just appear to the wedding. I guess you had friends in common so in any case you'll be able to stick with them.


May 22, 15 14:13

Thing is we do not have much common friends. perhaps, hardly 10 or maybe even less.


 


I doubt these mutuals will turn in for the wedding.


 


So, is there any change in your thought process now ?


 


Thanks,


D

The text you are quoting:

Thing is we do not have much common friends. perhaps, hardly 10 or maybe even less.


 


I doubt these mutuals will turn in for the wedding.


 


So, is there any change in your thought process now ?


 


Thanks,


D


Dinesh V, May 22, 2015 @ 14:41
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Post 9

Go and take a lady friend:)


May 22, 15 14:40

To make her feel jealous ? ;) haha

The text you are quoting:

To make her feel jealous ? ;) haha


Dinesh V, May 22, 2015 @ 14:44
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Post 11

well, what do you feel like doing? How do you think you will feel being at her wedding, seeing her marry the other guy, wondering how long it had been going on. Or is she really marrying someone who she met in the last "couple of months"? In which case, how will you feel knowing it took her only two months to find someone she was willing to commit the rest of her life with, not the case with you, I assume?


Who will be there, if you do not have many friends in common, and how will you feel being around them, especially the groom's friends? How will her friends feel, and how will they make you feel?


Were you and her really very close friends, and do you expect you will continue to be, and is that why she is inviting you and why you might want to go see her starting a new life, filled with happiness?


Do you now her future husband? How does he feel about it and how do you think he will act towards you?


There is no right or wrong answer to your question, it is really a matter about how you feel about it and how you will feel being there. Only you can find the answer to that.

The text you are quoting:

well, what do you feel like doing? How do you think you will feel being at her wedding, seeing her marry the other guy, wondering how long it had been going on. Or is she really marrying someone who she met in the last "couple of months"? In which case, how will you feel knowing it took her only two months to find someone she was willing to commit the rest of her life with, not the case with you, I assume?


Who will be there, if you do not have many friends in common, and how will you feel being around them, especially the groom's friends? How will her friends feel, and how will they make you feel?


Were you and her really very close friends, and do you expect you will continue to be, and is that why she is inviting you and why you might want to go see her starting a new life, filled with happiness?


Do you now her future husband? How does he feel about it and how do you think he will act towards you?


There is no right or wrong answer to your question, it is really a matter about how you feel about it and how you will feel being there. Only you can find the answer to that.


JR M, May 22, 2015 @ 14:53
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Post 12

well, what do you feel like doing? How do you think you will feel being at her wedding, seeing her marry the other guy, wondering how long it had been going on. Or is she really marrying someone who she met in the last "couple of months"? In which case, how will you feel knowing it took her only two months to find someone she was willing to commit the rest of her life with, not the case with you, I assume?

Who will be there, if you do not have many friends in common, and how will you feel being around them, especially the groom's friends? How will her friends feel, and how will they make you feel?

Were you and her really very close friends, and do you expect you will continue to be, and is that why she is inviting you and why you might want to go see her starting a new life, filled with happiness?

Do you now her future husband? How does he feel about it and how do you think he will act towards you?

There is no right or wrong answer to your question, it is really a matter about how you feel about it and how you will feel being there. Only you can find the answer to that.


May 22, 15 14:53

Thanks for this JR.


Beats me to know the answers for all the questions which u jus asked.


Just to inform you. Her future hubby has no clue about our relationship. so, i can ignore what he feels or treats me there.


 


But, yea, it would be really embarassing and boring for me to be isolated from the bunch of new people at the wedding


 


 


-D


 


 


 


 

The text you are quoting:

Thanks for this JR.


Beats me to know the answers for all the questions which u jus asked.


Just to inform you. Her future hubby has no clue about our relationship. so, i can ignore what he feels or treats me there.


 


But, yea, it would be really embarassing and boring for me to be isolated from the bunch of new people at the wedding


 


 


-D


 


 


 


 


Dinesh V, May 22, 2015 @ 15:07
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Post 13

Why not:)

The text you are quoting:

Why not:)


Po W, May 22, 2015 @ 15:47
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Post 14

Why not:)


May 22, 15 15:47

Haha !


 


I shall keep this in my mind ! Very useful tip indeed.

The text you are quoting:

Haha !


 


I shall keep this in my mind ! Very useful tip indeed.


Dinesh V, May 22, 2015 @ 15:58
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Post 15

Reckon you should try and bang her

The text you are quoting:

Reckon you should try and bang her


Sam I, May 22, 2015 @ 16:10
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Post 16

Thanks for this JR.

Beats me to know the answers for all the questions which u jus asked.

Just to inform you. Her future hubby has no clue about our relationship. so, i can ignore what he feels or treats me there.

 

But, yea, it would be really embarassing and boring for me to be isolated from the bunch of new people at the wedding

 

 

-D

 

 

 

 


May 22, 15 15:07

If you go, don't drink too much: you may deliver a speech you sure will regret for years to come...

The text you are quoting:

If you go, don't drink too much: you may deliver a speech you sure will regret for years to come...


Casuistik, May 22, 2015 @ 16:14
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Post 17

Reckon you should try and bang her


May 22, 15 16:10

WILD @:

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WILD @:


Dinesh V, May 22, 2015 @ 16:55
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Post 18

If you go, don't drink too much: you may deliver a speech you sure will regret for years to come...


May 22, 15 16:14

Sure Man..


 


Point Taken :D

The text you are quoting:

Sure Man..


 


Point Taken :D


Dinesh V, May 22, 2015 @ 16:55
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Post 19

Would you feel comfortable spending time with your ex 1 on 1? say for drinks, or for dinner? 

I'd imagine that if the thought of those two makes you a little uneasy or more, then watching her marry someone else ina dramatic, romantic setting for hours, might be a bit much.

But, as well as a bit much, i guess one question would be, what is the reaons for/ benefit of you going? why would you want to go? To be a good person in the situation? If so, surely it is a balance vs the repercussions, if it will be quite saddening and could cause more issues, then for me, it would not be worth it, unless we:
- were really good friends
- had been really good friends
- had a big mutual friends group
- children were involved

i'm sure there are more examples but i guess what i mean, there needs to be some deeper connection/reason worth taking a hit for.

It also depends on your mental state at the moment. If you feel strong enough to deflect bad thoughts from visual cues, then it might not be all that bad.

like mentioned above, i dont think there is a right or wrong answer, well... there could be, but you would probably know it, and wouldn't be here! Laughing

Either way, keep strong. And remember that taking your time to recalibrate is a great idea, which raises an eyebrow over at the speed of this coming weddingInnocent

Take your time, and figure out who this new post marriage-you is.

I'll end with this link :D 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Gqwi7Y96sk


The text you are quoting:

Would you feel comfortable spending time with your ex 1 on 1? say for drinks, or for dinner? 

I'd imagine that if the thought of those two makes you a little uneasy or more, then watching her marry someone else ina dramatic, romantic setting for hours, might be a bit much.

But, as well as a bit much, i guess one question would be, what is the reaons for/ benefit of you going? why would you want to go? To be a good person in the situation? If so, surely it is a balance vs the repercussions, if it will be quite saddening and could cause more issues, then for me, it would not be worth it, unless we:
- were really good friends
- had been really good friends
- had a big mutual friends group
- children were involved

i'm sure there are more examples but i guess what i mean, there needs to be some deeper connection/reason worth taking a hit for.

It also depends on your mental state at the moment. If you feel strong enough to deflect bad thoughts from visual cues, then it might not be all that bad.

like mentioned above, i dont think there is a right or wrong answer, well... there could be, but you would probably know it, and wouldn't be here! Laughing

Either way, keep strong. And remember that taking your time to recalibrate is a great idea, which raises an eyebrow over at the speed of this coming weddingInnocent

Take your time, and figure out who this new post marriage-you is.

I'll end with this link :D 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Gqwi7Y96sk



Farzam F, May 22, 2015 @ 17:31
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Re: Advice Required
Post 20

Go and take a lady friend:)


May 22, 15 14:40

No way!  That would be very ill-mannered on your part and your companion would be a gate-crasher if there’s a seating-plan for a sit-down meal.


If you do decide to go, go alone,  wearing your best bib and tucker and holding your head on high.


It may seem daunting but it will be a big step towards the new horizons that will open up in your life including, I hope, a new relationship that will be more compatible and enduring.


 


So, “courage”, and all the best, R.


 

The text you are quoting:

No way!  That would be very ill-mannered on your part and your companion would be a gate-crasher if there’s a seating-plan for a sit-down meal.


If you do decide to go, go alone,  wearing your best bib and tucker and holding your head on high.


It may seem daunting but it will be a big step towards the new horizons that will open up in your life including, I hope, a new relationship that will be more compatible and enduring.


 


So, “courage”, and all the best, R.


 


Ritchie, May 22, 2015 @ 20:27
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Post 21

If it hurts, don't go. 


On the other hand - think of the benefits! You may meet new people and enjoy some snacks! Laughing

The text you are quoting:

If it hurts, don't go. 


On the other hand - think of the benefits! You may meet new people and enjoy some snacks! Laughing


Elina K, May 23, 2015 @ 14:30
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Post 22

If it hurts, don't go. 

On the other hand - think of the benefits! You may meet new people and enjoy some snacks! Laughing


May 23, 15 14:30

.. I like the "snacks" part of this whole affair. :D

The text you are quoting:

.. I like the "snacks" part of this whole affair. :D


Froilan Z, May 26, 2015 @ 08:12
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Post 23

What is going in her head and why would she invite you? Was it all so amicable that you are now `besties`, it doesn`t sound like that.


Is she trying to make you feel bad? If it has been so recent (the breakup), it does not sound healthy from a psychological point of view.  


One can have closure without physically going, unless you both are on friendly terms and truly you have moved on.


If it sounds too messy then it probably is not a good idea. As someone else said, do what you feel is good for you not for her or others.

The text you are quoting:

What is going in her head and why would she invite you? Was it all so amicable that you are now `besties`, it doesn`t sound like that.


Is she trying to make you feel bad? If it has been so recent (the breakup), it does not sound healthy from a psychological point of view.  


One can have closure without physically going, unless you both are on friendly terms and truly you have moved on.


If it sounds too messy then it probably is not a good idea. As someone else said, do what you feel is good for you not for her or others.


Doroteia K, May 26, 2015 @ 11:41
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Post 24

Would you feel comfortable spending time with your ex 1 on 1? say for drinks, or for dinner? 

I'd imagine that if the thought of those two makes you a little uneasy or more, then watching her marry someone else ina dramatic, romantic setting for hours, might be a bit much.

But, as well as a bit much, i guess one question would be, what is the reaons for/ benefit of you going? why would you want to go? To be a good person in the situation? If so, surely it is a balance vs the repercussions, if it will be quite saddening and could cause more issues, then for me, it would not be worth it, unless we:
- were really good friends
- had been really good friends
- had a big mutual friends group
- children were involved

i'm sure there are more examples but i guess what i mean, there needs to be some deeper connection/reason worth taking a hit for.

It also depends on your mental state at the moment. If you feel strong enough to deflect bad thoughts from visual cues, then it might not be all that bad.

like mentioned above, i dont think there is a right or wrong answer, well... there could be, but you would probably know it, and wouldn't be here! Laughing

Either way, keep strong. And remember that taking your time to recalibrate is a great idea, which raises an eyebrow over at the speed of this coming weddingInnocent

Take your time, and figure out who this new post marriage-you is.

I'll end with this link :D 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Gqwi7Y96sk



May 22, 15 17:31

Rightly said, i need to find | Who am I ?| post weddin !


 


 

The text you are quoting:

Rightly said, i need to find | Who am I ?| post weddin !


 


 


Dinesh V, May 26, 2015 @ 11:43
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Re: Advice Required
Post 25

No way!  That would be very ill-mannered on your part and your companion would be a gate-crasher if there’s a seating-plan for a sit-down meal.

If you do decide to go, go alone,  wearing your best bib and tucker and holding your head on high.

It may seem daunting but it will be a big step towards the new horizons that will open up in your life including, I hope, a new relationship that will be more compatible and enduring.

 

So, “courage”, and all the best, R.

 


May 22, 15 20:27

My mind is wavering to be frank R.


 


I wish i go in front of her, wish her luck and come back happily.


 


Wherein, in the other hand, like some one mentioned above, WHY AM I DOING THIS ?


 


hits my head often !


-D

The text you are quoting:

My mind is wavering to be frank R.


 


I wish i go in front of her, wish her luck and come back happily.


 


Wherein, in the other hand, like some one mentioned above, WHY AM I DOING THIS ?


 


hits my head often !


-D


Dinesh V, May 26, 2015 @ 12:02
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Re: Advice Required
Post 26

Jan 1, 70 01:00

What, please, does “arranged” mean exactly?

The text you are quoting:

What, please, does “arranged” mean exactly?


Ritchie, May 26, 2015 @ 13:23
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Post 27

Jan 1, 70 01:00

Not being judgmental are we?

The text you are quoting:

Not being judgmental are we?


Sam I, May 26, 2015 @ 13:28
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Post 28

Jan 1, 70 01:00

Yes Henrietta/


 


This wedding is an Arranged one.


Worst part according to me  is she talks with her fiance  using skype . She is going to meet him in person only a week before her wedding..


 


-D

The text you are quoting:

Yes Henrietta/


 


This wedding is an Arranged one.


Worst part according to me  is she talks with her fiance  using skype . She is going to meet him in person only a week before her wedding..


 


-D


Dinesh V, May 26, 2015 @ 13:41
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Post 29

Guys,


I've made  up my mind now.


 


It was once a good period for both us but not anymore.



Even if i go there, i might put her in an uneasy situation and i have no idea how i will react.


So, let her not face that and just enjoy her wedding !


 


This is not an end for me .


There is life after love failure and there is love after love failure


 


I shall pour all the love that i've in me for the one who is coming in my life now  :)


 


Thanks all for your wonderful suggestions !


-D


 


 

The text you are quoting:

Guys,


I've made  up my mind now.


 


It was once a good period for both us but not anymore.



Even if i go there, i might put her in an uneasy situation and i have no idea how i will react.


So, let her not face that and just enjoy her wedding !


 


This is not an end for me .


There is life after love failure and there is love after love failure


 


I shall pour all the love that i've in me for the one who is coming in my life now  :)


 


Thanks all for your wonderful suggestions !


-D


 


 


Dinesh V, May 26, 2015 @ 13:59
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Post 30

Jan 1, 70 01:00

Yes...you may have won this one but I live to fight again. 

The text you are quoting:

Yes...you may have won this one but I live to fight again. 


Sam I, May 27, 2015 @ 16:26
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