Men just get caught more.

Yup.

Statistics aren't important,as women are becoming as competitive n independant as men-this is what i think;-
  

Reasons of an adulterous person-; Oh its human-nature( Big Joke i recently

                                                                                           heard- Sex is the

                                                                                           reason for our

                                                                                           existance)               
                                                      -; Getting back at someone,or to achieve
                                                          more attention,so it's ok-
                                                      

My Question is- Does all these `reasons' make it alright to do so?
                        -If so, Whatever happens to,faithfulness n trust?

there is a difference between an "affair", where most often both parties know the situation of the other.... and

a "one night stand", where it would seem one party or the other lies about their marital situation to get to the end goal..

Either way cheating is cheating and I suspect both sexes are equally to blame in many cases.

Nice response but and if that were true I'd be interested in what that may be?

Yes, There is a saying  'men are only as faithful as their options'.

Who are men being alduterous with?... is it a serious question that one? Well I am going to answer then:

- the Au pair? A work collegue? A girlfriend of his wife? A neighbour? The babysitter? The saleswomen of his favourite shop? The waitress where he has his coffee everyday?... Who? Everybody who has long eyelishes & a sweet voice I guess! :-) 

Men are faithful... a time. Women should never be to blind in love. Never too paranoid neither, but they have to open their eyes carefully on their partner and on the women around.

And there is a big difference between a one night stand that I could forgive and a "hidden story" for which I will pack up my things and go away with my children.

It was a serious question a but subtle one i.e. if there is adultery then there must be a consenting party and therefore an accomplice - likely to be a woman.  Some may not know but most in time will, and does that suddenly bring things to a halt? It would not seem so. Perhaps the question should be why is there adultery.    

Chris Rock explains why men can't cheat, and why women can.

(Language warning...)

But simply, women are better liars and more detail oriented.  Plus experience has taught us to look for the signs..  The average male ego is too inflated to think she'd rather be with someone else.  

When one of the two is single, he/she cant commit adultery.

Anw i agree with Lexi. Same amount. Women just dont get caught as much

I think that men are more adulerous than women and that it is accepted by society.

I think that women when in love don't feel like being alulterous.

Men can behave differently. It's still the same old story.

Women will think twice before acting but men will only think one time and go for it. That s the big difference between them.

Yey,Marion,maybe this is the time for feminists(or those vaguely interested in said mouvement)to re-examine our attitudes to sexual fulfilment and monogamy and the idea that one person cannot satisfy all one's needs.maybe it is time for women to think-hey,why SHOULD we think twice (what is it - precisely that holds US back?)

Very interesting

women are just perfect in keeping up the myth of (marital) fidelity

The rate is about the same for the two sexes, with a slight overrepresentation for one of the sexes*, as studies, where people self-report their "adventures", show.

*I leave it to the reader(s) to find out, which one.. not least, because, I don't have the references on hand.

It's hard to answer that, both cheat and feel like wanting to cheat, but Im sure if a couple has kids, the woman would never expose their kids to such a thing, so she wouldnt cheat...but the man...

And I think men can even love the women they are with, but they just do it. I don't know why...would love to know why...

1) women with kids do cheat as well... they have needs same as women without kids...

2) It seems men get caught more as said above, and that general concensus is that men have less morals... Im not sure this is true, and may be urban legend.

3) an unhappy married environment will lead to one or the other "cheating"... a happy one won't.

4) ... does it count if its in another Canton / Country? ;-)

Well, I cant say NO woman with kids would ever cheat, Im just SURE, and I think all women agree with me, that when WE have kids, they are the most important things in our lives, more than wanting sex with some stranger or whatever, so we wouldnt expose them, we just wouldnt.

And cheating is cheating, it doesnt matter where or with who.

thats it

Women with kids cover their tracks better. Most people who cheat do not get caught because they had sex with someone else.  They get caught because they continued an affair with someone.  Sex is pretty easy to hide, keeping someone on the side gets alot harder. (I say this as someone in a relationship, who has never cheated.. im just a realist)

As said on a previous thread,it's probably not helpful to generalize about what "we" would do  but rather talk about ourselves.

I don't think any individual can claim,on everyone's behalf "we just wouldn't do" something (though personally,I see where you are coming from )

Men are hardwired by evolution in a different way than women, and that largely defines our sexual behavior. Men evolved to attempt to spread their semen as much as possible to increase the chances that their genes make it to the next generation. Taking care of a woman and the offspring is part of this survival strategy because in order for the genes to survive the child must survive. But that doesn't prevent the man to go elsewhere  - it costs nothing in terms of resources.

For women it is different, and once pregnant they have to deliver in order for their genes to make it further. Sex with muliple partners at this stage is of no value, but keeping the father close and having him provide is of critical importance. However, before a woman is pregnant, she is playing a game: on one hand, she has to secure a man who will provide, but she will go around looking for the optimal sperm donor. 

Here comes the trick - for a woman, having a faithful man is of some, but comparatively little benefit. As long as the man provides during pregnancy and rearing offspring, it doesn't matter if he would leave his seed elsewhere (with the risk that he could start providing elsewhere). So a woman will tolerate a cheating man to some extent.

On the other hand, a cheating woman is unacceptable to a man. If he is not sure if a woman is pregnant with his offspring he runs a risk of providing for a long time for a child that is not his, and that would be a massive waste of resources.

So all in all, men are probably more likely to cheat in general because for them timing is of no importance. A woman who consciously or subcounsciously wants to reproduce will be as prone to promiscuity.

- and not just a waste of resources, but also potentially a waste of his entire procreation through no fault of his own (assuming he has no children otherwise), which is a deceit in a whole other league than "merely" having to divert resources to his mistress's (and his) child instead of solely to his wife's (and his) child.

So men and women look differently on the matter (but are both active to about the same extent - and it's not a small extent, either. I'll find some proper references supporting this claim later).

For this reason and those stated by other posters, I dare say that, on the hypothetical subject of mandatory DNA paternity tests, the majority of women will be strongly opposed ("It's about trust!") with the majority of men in favor ("I need to know!"). After millions of years, gender equality is within reach (hehe).

"I dare say that, on the hypothetical subject of mandatory DNA paternity tests, the majority of women will be strongly opposed ("It's about trust!") with the majority of men in favor ("I need to know!")."

There's no "will be" about it.  Feminist groups and women in general are strongly opposed.  Cuckoldry is one of the most ancient feminine prerogatives.  The test don't happen because men are too spineless to demand them.

I read a stat somewhere that 10% of all babies born in the US have an "impossible" blood type (given the alleged parents' types).  Food for thought.

Your post is very interesting Cisio, it provides a lot of scientific explanations however I'm convinced that men can avoid being adulterous and that many are faithful to their wives!

Those stats are replicated in other countries.. if one can find them.

Given what's at stake, I say that "Need to know" trumps "Just trust me". Every. Time.

Yes without a doubt the majority of men are more then woman...

Agree

since people are not quoting this thread becomes increasingly difficult to follow. I don't quite understand what Fifi was trying to say ("majority of men are more than woman"??), and consequently have no idea what or who is Florella agreeing with.

Hi cisio,

you're totally right it was my mistake, I was supposed to answer with quote but something got wrong , so now I'll go back to the post and make a correct answer with quote

I think its probably equal but maybe men like to boast about it more

Global statistic show Men are more adulterous than woman:) Tiger Woods, Arnold Schwarzenegger, John Terry, Bill Clinton, Herman Cain to name a few...I have been trying  to think of a woman but cant find any... 

I have read men are biologically conditioned to cheat and some say its like a dog marking every territory but than I am wrong as many here think there are equal adulterous women out there..who are smart enough to hide their trails....

These women seriously should think about coaching our men to hide theirs so that peace prevails at home and to save their careers and marraige!!!

Biologically conditioned...thats a real cop out if you ask me

"global statistic"?? what statistic?

and I could actually give you a few names but I prefer to stay discrete;) might still want to get some...

;-)

It is most certainly not. Evolutionary mechanisms sit at the basic layers of the brain and can certainly be overrun by higher brain activities. The concept of faith exists higher up and as such can take the upper hand, certainly. After all, people use contraceptives, which is a nonsense from the evolutionary perspective. However, many of actions can be conditioned by this low level brain activity and being aware of it can help you consciously choose to follow your instincts, or not:)

So it's a cop out only if you are aware of it and still do it;)

The Biological thing is not relevant anymore right now cause this theory said that women were not cheater cause they needed the protection of their man ... in term of survey it was important. Now men know that a woman can survive by herself so this "unbreakable link" doesn't exist anymore! So because the nature of women changed, I guess the nature of men did change too!! Take care of your precious relationship, love your partner as much as you can and crossed-fingers !! that's the rule for both men or women!!!

What I men that there are more men cheating around ,then woman.

What I ment*

good grief... evolution doesn't work at the same speed as cultural changes. And no, deep inside we are still as good as cavemen. With a bit of extra knowledge

Yes and No

evolution, biologically conditioned, bla bla bla ... is just a excuse, alibi, poor justification ... adult people should be able to decide themselves what is imporant for them ... and if they are just driven by their hormones, they shouldn't be allowed to have a driving license or a leading position in a job ...

Adultery (also called philandery or cheating, anglicized from Latin adulterium) is sexual infidelity to one's spouse, and is a form of extramarital sex. It originally referred only to sex between a woman who was married and a person other than her spouse.[1] Even in cases of separation from one's spouse, an extramarital affair is still considered adultery.

(source Wiki)

So , if youre married, any sexual contact with anyone other than your legal wife is adultery...

 As to the monogamous instincts of mankind....According to "Wiki"  and various surveys, it would seem men are more likely to "wonder" than women.

Monogamy, (ie staying with one partner), It also cites that this evolution of monogamous relationships in humans probably started some 18'000 years ago with the advent of the "agricultural age". Ie the need to stay in one place to harvest crops.

Most primates practice a form of monogamy , as do other animals eg Lions etc, (ie they do it with numerous selected females in their group... kind of like the numerous wives allowed by the Muslim faith, so long as you can provide for the females) which suggests that our DNA or genetic breeding is infact more tuned to keeping our gene pool alive with one or a select few females, rather than just shagging anything that moves...

Suprisingly, for me anyway, the precentages of incidence of "adultery" for women are lower than mens..BUT NOT BY MUCH.

The incidence of sexual monogamy can be roughly estimated as the percentage of married people who do not engage in extramarital sex. Several studies have looked at the percentage of people who engage in extramarital sex. These studies have shown that extramarital sex varies across cultures and across genders.

The Standard Cross-Cultural Sample describes the amount of extramarital sex by men and women in over 50 pre-industrial cultures.[61][62] The amount of extramarital sex by men is described as "universal" in 6 cultures, "moderate" in 29 cultures, "occasional" in 6 cultures, and "uncommon" in 10 cultures. The amount of extramarital sex by women is described as "universal" in 6 cultures, "moderate" in 23 cultures, "occasional" in 9 cultures, and "uncommon" in 15 cultures. These findings support the claim that the amount of extramarital sex differs across cultures and across genders.

Recent surveys conducted in non-Western nations have also found cultural and gender differences in extramarital sex. A study of sexual behavior in Thailand, Tanzania and Côte d'Ivoire suggests about 16–34% of men engage in extramarital sex while a much smaller (unreported) percentage of women engage in extramarital sex.[63] Studies in Nigeria have found around 47–53% of men and to 18–36% of women engage in extramarital sex.[64][65] A 1999 survey of married and cohabiting couples in Zimbabwe reports that 38% of men and 13% of women engaged in extra-couple sexual relationships within the last 12 months.[66]

The issue of extramarital sex has been examined frequently in the United States. Many surveys asking about extramarital sex in the United States have relied on convenience samples. A convenience sample means surveys are given to whoever happens to be easily available (e.g., volunteer college students or volunteer magazine readers). Convenience samples do not accurately reflect the population of the United States as a whole, which can cause serious biases in survey results. It should not be surprising, therefore, that surveys of extramarital sex in the United States have produced widely differing results. These studies report that about 12–26% of married women and 15–43% of married men engage in extramarital sex.[67][68][69] The only way to get scientifically reliable estimates of extramarital sex is to use nationally representative samples. Three studies have used nationally representative samples. These studies have found that about 10–15% of women and 20–25% of men engage in extramarital sex.[70][71][72]

A majority of married people remain sexually monogamous during their marriages. The number of married partners who engage in extramarital sex never exceeds 50% in studies using large or nationally representative samples. Yet, the incidence of sexual monogamy varies across cultures. People in some cultures are more sexually monogamous than people in other cultures. Women also appear to be more sexually monogamous than men.[citation needed]

In the U.S., some studies have found that the majority of gay male couples are not monogamous. Research by Colleen Hoffon of 566 gay male couples from the San Francisco Bay Area found that only 45% had monogamous relationships. That study was funded by the National Institute of Mental Health.[73] However, the Human Rights Campaign has stated, based on a Rockway Institute report, that "GLBT young people... want to spend their adult life in a long-term relationship raising children." Specifically, over 80% of the lesbians and homosexuals surveyed expected to be in a monogamous relationship after age 30.[74]

Hey,you guys-this is supposed to be a place for non-serious discussion(that's what I was told on a previous thread about Single Women)

At this point,my instinct is to find a Google Image of something completely off the point and silly ......but I'm not that talented!

Damn!

by statatistics, I meant we hear a lot about men's adultry than women (in newsprints). I can easily find 100 names of men that have cheated on their wives/partners while its so difficult to find a married woman's name to the list:) So my assessment using those names compared to none woman name concluded that men are more adulterous than women!!!!

Charlie, thanks for this great copy & paste

that was a different thread Buzz... we have "evolved" to another topic now...

throw a six and catch up..

:-))

Ha ha ha - good one.

And glad to hear about the evolution

Men are more adulterous than women because men think than if they have sex with other women it's just in plus of what they already have.

why do men chase after women they have no intention of marrying?

the same reason dogs chase after cars they have no intention of driving

are women 'meant' to be married?;)

Scientists have debunked the myth that 10 per cent of children are illegitimate without their legal fathers knowledge. A new study from Leicester University suggests the figure is one in 25.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1141587/Scientists-challenge-myth-10-children-illegitimate-father-knowing--actually-25.html#ixzz1lJxuuhKY

As was said, to Err is human but while pausing for breath good communication might be a measure of prevention rather than cure. Familiar with Non Violent Communication? it's not what you think as emotions and words are mightier than the sword: http://www.box.com/s/fkl05rvfan03yr205pkl 

http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/cheating-and-infidelity/stats-about-infidelity.html

http://www.infidelityfacts.com/infidelity-statistics.html

"Debunked" is perhaps a bit early to say, as previous DNA studies did find much higher rates (up to one in seven), and so the jury is still out. This study does look promising, though. Also, the rate may be different across regions.

I agree with you, buzzcocks :) and .... "never say never", dear Ana Rosa....a man can be more faithful than a woman - mother ! Do not generalize.

marriage is an outdated sociological idea - it may have been workable centuries ago but not now

this is all down to biology - men can father thousands of children in a lifetime and it replenishes...women only produce a few hundred eggs  (I think) in a lifetime and that decreases all the time

that would rule out every man driving or working

sorry but biology and sex are greater than all of us

if this would be the truth we would have never managed to leave the caves ...

Than why are people still marrying??? where did you come from? certainly you do not look a centurian in your profile photo..unless...dont tell me you were carried by the proverbal stork!!!!

But keith P has a point.

When i was younger,my friends and I never even mentioned marriage - it was taken for granted that it was outdated and not necessary.As I got older,I was surprised - and still am- at how younger people still go for it(AND do all the other weird stuff like expensive weddings, anniversaries,engagement rings,etc etc etc)when the divorce statistics tell us "no!!!"

Well I wont be going for a third attempt

In the human condition, according to recent scientific studies, we're erring on the side of monogomy by choice - it's not in our fabric.

See, "The Myth of Monogamy: Fidelity and Infidelity in Animals and Humans" by David P. Barash. It's an interesting read.

http://amzn.to/ArhEPt

Have we really left the "caves" or after finding out that caves were a finite resource did we just start building bigger and better caves and start to fill them with better stuff to attract and keep a mate?

If attracting a mate were no longer a drive we would see far more acceptance of creative ways of life bieng socially acceptable.

OK this getting too deep i have got to go to sleep so I can take part in that most competitive of swiss sports tomorrow -  seeking a better cave for my family.

I am looking a 4 bedroom 2 bathroom cave under 2500chf/month near Nyon if anyone knows of one.

Yabba dabba doo...

I think it is 50% / 50% these days. Nevertheless, the guys started it some years ago and the women caught up. Since the roles of men and women are different now having a "side dish" is equally apealing to men and women. Which makes it of course not better.

I think this is generally an issue as of when one is in a steady relationship with someone. Marriage is not the point here. If we are having troubles to committ to one person in general, adultry would be an escape for real committment and our need to permanently benchmark ourselves or to look over the fence if the gras is still greener over there. If you have reached the point to cherish what you have and focus on that, I believe wandering around is no longer an option.

Blablabla... And the first thing they ask is: Do you have a condom? ;-)

Monogomy For Beginners!

The evidence from anthropology and evolutionary biology is decisive. Monogamy is not biologically the natural human condition. Even when human monogamy occurs, affairs are frequent, similar to the animal world.

Sexual Jealousy is the give-away. It’s wide-spread existence suggests strongly that episodes of infidelity have long been part of the human evolutionary past 

A cross-cultural analysis of infidelity rates across 56 different
human societies found that females and males are remarkably similar:

–      Nearly all women fully engaged in affairs in 14% of societies

–      Nearly all men fully engaged in affairs in 13% of societies

–      Women moderately engaged in affairs in 44% of societies

–      Men moderately engaged in affairs in 56% of societies

–      Relatively few women engaged in affairs in 42% of societies

–      Relatively few men engaged in affairs in 31% of societies

Further details on the myth of monogamy can be seen for a
WRS program we did in the past at:

http://www.davidlawson.ch/InfidelityWRS - Biological.pdf

*A Review of 56 difference human societies: G. E. Broude and S. J. Greene, 1976. Cross-cultural codes on twenty sexual attitudes and practices. Ethnology 15: 410-429 

Thank you for that - very interesting(though be aware that most people posting-including myself-seem to  have very fixed opinions ......and don't seem to care about facts and may not even bother to read them!!)

How could it be otherwise - we are our beliefs and attitudes 

Seriously though, there is no question of monogamy being "natural". It isn’t.

Biologically, sperm competition is just another way of saying, "non-monogamy".

You know, the Buzzcocks, Love Bites album is not bad at all.
Saw them live at Uni back in the early 80s. 

Well...what can i say? Those were the days,eh?Raw and "honest".Heard an interview recently with a woman from the Raincoats and another Punk woman of the time,saying how it was a very liberating time for female artists who could compete with the men on their own terms -Rhiannathe Bloody Spice Girls,hip-hop videos,gangsta-rap,R&B babes with puckered lips and perfect airbrushed bodies decorationg the posters.....where did it all go wrong?

Bring back the filfth and the fury - and Siouxsie taking no nonsense....

Hey if your going to make comments like - "The guys started it" please do back up your statements with some references.

Just from simple historical (if maybe widely inaccurate) references of Jesus getting in the way of a stoning of an adulterous woman we can guess that Adultery has been around at least 1100 years (its questioned if this passage was added into later versions of the Bible about the 9th century).

OK one the bible I agree is a very biased book and women were definately unfairly treated after the romans got hold of the religon, so we won't read anything into the idea that it was a woman being stoned. But...

Even until relatively modern times (100 years ago) women frequently married for stability so they often married Men far older than themselves, and lets face it to a 20 year old woman a 35 years old man is a old fart, plus the common idea is that Males reach the peak of their sex drive in their teens, while women reach it in their thirties.

So in a typical couple from 1000 years ago that had young women marring relatively old men for security -  which one is like to wish to cheat? the Young women entering her sexual prime or the old git whos sex drive is something that he dimly remembers?

Lets face it the man also has an young women to go to bad with (not a great drive to go looking elsewhere) where she has a wrinkled sausage and a couple of old rasins to look forward to. Who do you think has this best reason to go looking for a "side dish"?

Ok course this is just speculation I wasn't there 1000/2000 years ago and unless the people on this forum are far older than their photos let on nor was anyone else.

Please remember that when casting the first stone in this battle of the sexes. Last time I looked Woman didn't mean innocent and Man didn't mean devil with a poker.

Not forgetting Chrissie Hynde.

Still think that The Smiths were the defining group of the 80s.

 thank you, I do share this with you !

Biologically, sperm competition is as relevant today as it always has been.
Survival of the fitest and all that!

But since it is not natural, it is not easy. This is not to say that monogamy is not desirable, because there is very little connection, if any, between what is natural or easy and what is good.

The perfect fit of a good monogamous relationship is made, not born. And despite the fact that much of our biology seems to tug in the opposite direction, such relationships can be made.

Monogamy among animals is a matter of biology. So is monogamy among humans.

But in the case of humans, monogamy is much more. It is also psychology, sociology, anthropology, economics, law, ethics, theology, literature, philosophy. Not to mention love, trust, hope and just about everything else.

Thanks David for mentioning love and trust!

It makes sense Chris...except for the fact that a child born in 1000AD had a life expectancy of 24 years... so my guess is that people were either marrying very very young (early teens) or not married for long, or both.

I understand that 100 years ago or so the life expectancy was higher but not by much  ..A male child born in 1903 had a life expectancy of 49 years, while a female had a life expectancy of 51 years.

Obviously war and nutrition had its impact on these figures, and it is not country or race specific (and Im guessing that depending on race and country the figure for 1903 would vary greatly but probably not so much for 1000AD unless you were a well to do Roman)...

Hi Charlie remember that life expectancy is taken as an average. So if a group of 20 Romans are accessed and unfortunately they have a high infant mortality rate.

(4+5+4+60+55+47+26+3+62+34+43+2+1+57+43+3+28+54+61+48)/20 = 30

If we discount the infant deaths (pre 10) as they little to no bearing to this topic

(60+55+47+26+62+34+43+57+43+28+54+61+48)/13=42

And then as you thought the age of consent until relatively recently was as low as 10-12 years old.

We're all born "stone age" babies - nothing has changed regarding our biological make-up.