Bert, at 85 years old, always wanted a pair of soft spike golf shoes like Freddie Couples, so seeing some on sale after his round, he bought them and he was so delighted with his purchase decided to wear them home to show the missus.

Walking proudly into the house, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife,  "Notice anything different about me?"
 
Margaret at age 83, looked him over and replied, "Nope."
 
Frustrated as all get out, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for  the new golf shoes. Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, "Notice anything different NOW???"

Margaret looked up and said in her best deadpan response, "Bert, what's  different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, and it'll be hanging down again tomorrow."
 
Furious, Bert yells out, "and do you know why it is hanging down Margaret?"

 "Nope. Not a clue", she replied.
 
Bert yelled, "IT'S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW GOLF SHOES!!!
 
Without missing a beat old Margaret replies,  "Shoulda bought a new golf hat, Bert."

Still on the golf theme……………

One morning five women are putting on the practice green at the club when suddenly a guy runs by wearing nothing but a bag over his head.

As he passes by Linda, she looks down and says, "Well, he's certainly not my husband."

As he passes by Jane, she also glances down and says, "He's not my husband either."

 As he passes by Betty, she also glances down and says, "He's not my husband either."

As he passes by Cathy she also glances down and says, "I don’t think that’s my husband either."

He then passes by Mary

​ ​

​B​eth, who stares carefully as he runs by her. "Wait a minute", she says. "He's not even a club member!"