Listen, everybody. This is not a statement on Zurich or even the Adagio club, but on an incident which impacted individuals who have had to sustain a whole life time of questioning of their humanity.
No one is born or genetically programmed to be prejudiced in any way, whether it is based on race, gender, ethnicity or religion. But we are raised in cultures which gradually, subtly inculcate beliefs, attitudes and behaviors. We may not be aware we harbor them within us. We don't see their manifestation in our behavior and when someone questions us, we get defensive. "Of course it is not prejudice! I am not racist ! I know that. I am certainly no KKK member."
It does not hurt to stop and reflect and question our own selves. If we believe the person raising the question is wrong, try to understand why they are raising it. It is hard to understand, without having lived through it, what it is like to grow up with images in the surrounding culture, that demean the traits that you posess; to face even the isolated challenge or insult in the playground, which in the background of the cultural images you see around you, make you question your self worth, even if, consciouslly, you refuse to do so. It unconsciously seeps in.
Then, even if it is one out of ten times, or one in a hundred times, when you are passed by in a job opportunity, or acceptance in a school, when a policeman questions you, treats you as a suspect, when people cross the street to not face you on the sidewalk at night, it all adds up.
You don't make a fuzz, you ignore it, you tell yourself it is their disease and you will not allow yourself to get infected. The more you do it, the more you find parts of the world and parts of life denied to you. Who cares about that night club anyway, right, the Adagio? I mean, it does not matter that you spent the time getting ready for what you thought would be a nice night out with a couple of friends after a hard week at work, and you drove for an hour to get there, talking, joking and took 30 minutes to find parking. It is just a night club, what is the fuzz, "look for a different place to party."
But, who was that man who denied you admission? Does he know what you do for a living, what your worth as a human being is, what conditions you had to overcome to become the accomplished, ethical professional you made yourself into? It is not the nightclub, it is the attitude, the engagement, and the fact that it is about something as stupid as "the place to party" makes it even worse. Can you understand that? It makes it worse. The more menial the circumstances, the more humiliating it is.
So, you go on with your life, ignore those attitudes, make the most of your time on this earth, resist being distracted. But then, you have a child. He or she is full of promise. He or she is precious, is gentle, intelligent, kind, playful and caring. Because you instilled those values in your child.
And then, he or she gets home from school and breaks out crying. And you learned what was done to him or her in the playground, and you have to ask yourself. Is it really OK? Was it just over whether or not she should play with the ball, and should he or she not just find other kids to play with? When and where does it stop? When do I make a stand, and around what?
So, you refuse to sit in the back of the bus, or you walk into the lunch counter, or tell the world how the woman at the store in Zurich treated you, you, who rose from extreme poverty, was sexually abused as a young woman and now, you, Oprah Winfrey, have become an inspiration for women of any race or color, but for that person you were just a black woman who certainly would not be able to buy an expensive purse. You, Oprah Winfrey. And Oprah made it clear that she was just bringing up the incident, it was not meant as a comment on Switzerland as some took it.
Hey, Oprah, what is the fuzz? Over a purse? Why don't you just find another store to shop at?
And, oh yes, Alan does not want you in his club, and it does not have to do with your skin color. It has to do with your behavior, you see. You are not supposed to behave like that. Because, you see, I don't know you, and I was not at the shop in Zurich or at Adagio, to really know, but I know you. Of course, I know you and of course I can judge you. Why? What? What is it that I know about you, that allows me to judge you? Do I have to spell it out for you? In black and white?
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