I don't consider it a date when you meet the person for the first time. - Even if you had exchanged emails or chatted or phoned each other already before.

At least, I don't call it a date as long as I am only in the "phase of getting to know the other person".

But if you invite a girl for a first meeting for a tyical date scenario (dinner and cinema), this will look very much like a date attempt for the girl. I also know that in some cultures, even the first meeting of a guy and a girl is immediately considered to be a date.

I would say, a date is when both persons are interested in more than just friendship.

Depends for whom...I would not think so.

I guess it depends on what you hope to 'experience' with this new person...

If you hope to experience some hot sex, then it's probably a date

Hot sex?? I thought the rule was "Only on the third date"..

I think the rule is "Only after the third drink"

Good one Oded

Modern times, different rules...As long as you don't drive after the third drink it's ok !

I think you know if the other or infact you are attracted to the person, if this is the case i would say its on a date.  One or both of you are hoping for a kiss or of course more at the end of the evening.  If you are both going out with friends in mind its different.  If you dont know, your probably going to come across an uncoftable situation at the end of the evening(pleasent or un pleasent)

...usually when the clock moves from PM t AM

Well, I was not considering sex. And if it was about sex it would not be a date. In my opinion.

If you mean you arrange with someone you dont know to go to an event together (eg who wants to go with me to this glocals event), then its not a date.

If you already have met the person more than once and ask him/her to go to a group event together then its not a date.

If you already met this person and you ask him/her to go somewhere just the two of you then yes its a date.

But it`s not a date if it is "just" a friend. Then it`s just a... whatever, but not  a date.. I`ll agree with the person who wrote the stuff about expectations.

That sounds appropriate to me.

And what if you are already onvolved with someone, girlfriend/boyfriend, married, engaged, etc.  Is dating ok with someone?

I believe that's commonly called "testing the waters". you know what happened to Curiosity... :)

I mean if both are single obviously. If one of them is married/engaged/in a relationship whatever is never a date.

And i also assume that both of them dont want to be single anymore ;)

So I am thinking lonliness would be a big part of wanting to meet or date. If I was feeling lonely and simply wanted to spend an evening out with someone, I do not think I would consider it a date. Agree?

But what would happen if things developed into more than expected during that evening out?

or further to that, I should clarify, how much thought should one put into considering the likelihood of things progressing more than expected?

ok, I'll tell you what happened to Curiosity: it killed the cat!! we'll never know if it was out of getting bored or lonely, though...

poor cat

Interesting thread ;-)

In my opinion a date should be considered a date, when two people "hang out" together on any social activity for any period of time in order to find out as to whether based on the outcome on the enjoyment of each others company, one would further like to indulge into activities with each other to be enjoyed and with the intention of transforming the nature of the relationship from an acquiantance or a friend" towards the next level as a partner/girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse.

If the intent of hanging out together, is not to shift the nature of the relationship towards anything apart from being friends, then it should not be considered as a date.

Cheers;

Andrash

p.s: there were some comments made about sex, I have been to at least two countries where for e.g. if you invite a woman to dinner, and she accepts, then you as a man can take it for granted that she will have sex with you, now would you still consider that a date ;-)?

PS: no, it would be considered a successful evening

Hi Andrash

I guess there are many guys and girls out there wanting to know which 2 countries!

I find it hard to believe that anyone can go out on a a first date knowing for sure what to expect. Unless if it's internet dating for that purpose, but I assume that's not what we're talking aobut here.

 I think that the term date is in itself very abstract. It depends on the chemistry and on the personality of the people say if they're shy they'll probably date a few times before the first kiss happens even though both have wanted to since the first date.

Sometimes things move faster, whatever hapens  why worry, just have fun, be yourself and respect your boundaries and the other person's.

If it turns out there's no chemistry you can always be friends or not, life is really too short to worry about dating.

2 basic rules when u wanna get 2 know a woman better:

1) never ever mention the word "DATE" when u want 2 fix an appointment with a woman

2) never ever mention " i take u OUT"

The words "date" and "out" have got 2 be eradicated from your vocabulary

Cheers all

p.s life's too short and just go with the flow....

The way I see it, if I say "wanna go for a coffee?", I'm testing the waters and/or just wanting to make some new friends.

If I use the words "taking out" or "date", then that to me IS a proper date and possibly should only be done once you've known the other person for a short while.

Blind dates withstanding, I couldn't see myself asking someone out on a first date having never seen them in person and having had a chance to speak face to face for a while. Internet medium simply does not convey human emotion and behaviour to me in a sufficiently adequate manner. It's a bit like driving blind, just doesn't feel right.

If you talk about sex before meeting; then it's a "date" ;-))

its not about modern times...its about chemistry and goin with the flow...and avoiding 2 be an accountant by stating:" oh this is only the 2nd time were together which makes it only 7 hours and 57 minutes and 22 seconds that were together"

give me a break:-)))

nothing! whatever happens happens, but you shouldn't plan for more than what you've both agreed on.

and if the reason why you started this thread is because you're planning to break up a marriage (it kind of sounds like it from your follow up posts), then don't! just back out of it before you ruin people's lives! i hope this isn't the case though, and in that case i appologize for my drastic assumption.

but, married or not, it's always better to expect too little than too much, and whatever you do: don't take anything for granted!

i think it's time for a group date! 

Just don't define it, and let it flow. 

And if it evolves into something you both feel is right and lovey-dovey, then you can think back to your first 'date' and laugh about it.

And if you want to send her a clear message that it IS a date, here's what to wear:

Hi All,

I will have to disagree with Tony Montana.     A strong woman who is truely feminine and is straight and knows what she wants is charmed when a man clarifies that its a date.

Hint guyz :   We will put on our best perfume if its a date and look our best , but if its just a meeting to meet a new friend you may not get the first impression you would want from a woman.  Nor the side you would get as a man that is more than a friend.

When i meet a new friend i act like a guy and like his buddy, when i know its a date ( which has not happened in years actually ) then I would show my feminine side and the side he will get if we continue to date.

Life is not that complex.   Old fashion proposals are a turn on.  Clarity will save you alot of hassle and being a true Gentleman will win our hearts :-)

Having a DATE that one or both knows its a hidden coffee message just messes things up and you both don`t get the best of each others` romantic side.

Good Ole Fashion Manners and Flirting in a tasteful way like a Gentleman ALWAYS WORKS no matter what.  

I think a real man appreciates a real woman and the roles must be played in this movie correctly.

If you really want a friend then go for a friend but I think missions should be clear.   If you wanna see a woman show off her curves and charm and beauty then don`t mix signals.

Create a Masterpiece of a Date next time,

Dr. Cat

Just to answer David since he started the thread.

It is considered a date if you clarify it.   But do not play with other people`s hearts nor your own and create other impressions.  Not everyone`s rules are like ours.  We never know what impact we can have on others.

Being straight is the best prevention for misunderstandings,  once that is out of the way.......

Get out there and have fun,

Cat