A friend of mine just found roses and a bottle of champagne in front of her door which would mean a romantic evening ahead. A typical initial male hunter strategy?
A friend of mine just found roses and a bottle of champagne in front of her door which would mean a romantic evening ahead. A typical initial male hunter strategy?
i think the K.I.S.S strategy is the best. ( Keep It Simple and Stupid) be yourself and be honest.
if this doesn't work then it's not the person for you. sooner or later the "real" you will come out, and it's better to know sooner than later. 
IMHO
i think the K.I.S.S strategy is the best. ( Keep It Simple and Stupid) be yourself and be honest.
if this doesn't work then it's not the person for you. sooner or later the "real" you will come out, and it's better to know sooner than later. IMHO
Got your point Epicure!
But could even the "right one" loose glamour too quickly if she's too much "into you" right away? I know the topic is more complex than that but I'd be interest in some views.
Got your point Epicure!
But could even the "right one" loose glamour too quickly if she's too much "into you" right away? I know the topic is more complex than that but I'd be interest in some views.
Hi Rena. I had laugh when reading this.
If you ask me then I would tell your friend to do the following: drink the bottle of champagne, write a nice note what will challenge him (we men like challenges) and leave it infront of your door; something like 'thanks but next time just say hi ;)'.
If he is really interested then he has to overcome the shyness. It seems very odd to me what the guy was doing. Roses and champagne are nice but from a stranger... I don't know? What's next, a letter in the mailbox? All nice and romantic but we are not in a movienor are we in highschool :).
Hi Rena. I had laugh when reading this.
If you ask me then I would tell your friend to do the following: drink the bottle of champagne, write a nice note what will challenge him (we men like challenges) and leave it infront of your door; something like 'thanks but next time just say hi ;)'.
If he is really interested then he has to overcome the shyness. It seems very odd to me what the guy was doing. Roses and champagne are nice but from a stranger... I don't know? What's next, a letter in the mailbox? All nice and romantic but we are not in a movienor are we in highschool :).
I see, Manfred!
Maybe I should have explained that she is going out with this guy for a short while already and she doesn't want to risk that he stops chasing her ;)
I see, Manfred!
Maybe I should have explained that she is going out with this guy for a short while already and she doesn't want to risk that he stops chasing her ;)
I understand. ok, sorry but then his 'move' seems a little desperate to me. why didn't he show up with the bottle and roses at her door, proposing to drink the bottle together. It seems more like that he has a crush on your friend while your friend seems not that interested, or I am wrong?
I understand. ok, sorry but then his 'move' seems a little desperate to me. why didn't he show up with the bottle and roses at her door, proposing to drink the bottle together. It seems more like that he has a crush on your friend while your friend seems not that interested, or I am wrong?
or he just forget the chocolate in the car ... he run down ,left the botlle front of the door , ur friend took it and he was so sad that someone broke his romantic evening. ... 
or he just forget the chocolate in the car ... he run down ,left the botlle front of the door , ur friend took it and he was so sad that someone broke his romantic evening. ...
anyhow I'm absolutely OK with Manfred. .. we need challenges .. maybe will not be everyone OK with me ,but more easily we get something, faster we lose it. ... if he is reallyinterested to a long relationship, he will work for it ,if not .... Do as Manfred said. .. drink the bottle and be happy u have a rose ..
anyhow I'm absolutely OK with Manfred. .. we need challenges .. maybe will not be everyone OK with me ,but more easily we get something, faster we lose it. ... if he is reallyinterested to a long relationship, he will work for it ,if not .... Do as Manfred said. .. drink the bottle and be happy u have a rose ..
A.Peter, Sep 18, 2015 @ 18:55
What amazes me is that no one stole the champagne or roses, I know that had this been in London, the the lightfingered brigade would have had a field day! Sorry for being facetious. Maybe just maybe this was a simple romantic gesture and we shouldn't over analyse it.
What amazes me is that no one stole the champagne or roses, I know that had this been in London, the the lightfingered brigade would have had a field day! Sorry for being facetious. Maybe just maybe this was a simple romantic gesture and we shouldn't over analyse it.
I'd say in general and long-term, most guys want just what we want and what any fairly normal person wants: to be appreciated, loved and supported by a fairly well-balanced (or at least not completely neurotic), caring and empathetic person who is their best friend (or at least has the potential of becoming their best friend), who's got their back, shares ( at least some of) their interests, makes them laugh and enjoys s*x. Now if on top of that you're also smokin' (which, by judging from your pic, clearly you are) then all the better and what are you worried about...? Now put one of those roses behind your ears, crack open the bottle and go get that dude!
I'd say in general and long-term, most guys want just what we want and what any fairly normal person wants: to be appreciated, loved and supported by a fairly well-balanced (or at least not completely neurotic), caring and empathetic person who is their best friend (or at least has the potential of becoming their best friend), who's got their back, shares ( at least some of) their interests, makes them laugh and enjoys s*x. Now if on top of that you're also smokin' (which, by judging from your pic, clearly you are) then all the better and what are you worried about...? Now put one of those roses behind your ears, crack open the bottle and go get that dude!
(everyone hang on, wall of text incoming)
Keeping a man interested (and in the chasing mood) isn't as difficult as women may think. We are actually incredibly simple creatures (with some subtlety thrown in) and pretty much made for "the hunt".
The idea though, is balance (this is actually true of everything in life ;)). We do like chasing after the girls, but there needs to be feedback. We need to be able to “catch” you once in a while, if you run too far away or we never get to see you in a vulnerable moment, unfortunately we will lose interest and go chase someone else. (Told you, we’re simple creatures)
The best analogy would be more like fishing really instead of actual hunting. In fishing, once the fish takes the bait, there's the constant tension on the fishing line, where the fish pulls and gives, the fisherman also does the same, because if he pulls to hard the line could break, but if he lets it go too much the fish can break away. Note that the woman’s role here is that of the fisherman (and here you thought I was comparing you girls to a fish). That tension is what makes the dating/relationship exciting and it needs to stay that way in order for both parties to be interested and eventually “move to the next level”.
This "tension" between 2 people usually happens naturally when they start dating each other, but it doesn’t mean that it can’t be provoked or extended unnaturally. It’s akin to the fish jerking the line or the fisherman suddenly reeling in quickly. Surprise is what keeps the excitement, but once again there needs to be reciprocity. Don’t pull too much, but don’t let go too much either. Once the initial infatuation subsides, if you want to continue having excitement, then it’s up to you (as a couple) to extend this state, or together decide to mellow out. (Too big of a topic to discuss, so let’s stop here)
Unfortunately, people get lazy with their relationship once they start getting used to it. Keeping the relationship exciting and alive is up to both parties, it can’t be a one way street or eventually the excitement dies out and well... things fall apart.
So, after that extremely long introduction, here’s my suggestion to your friend. Do something in return that will surprise him but not to go overboard, just enough to let him know she’s interested but that he will have to work to keep her interested. That is, if she really is interested in him. (note that she’s also having to work to keep him interested, so really it is a two-way street)
Unfortunately, like in everything, you can never be sure if the other party is really interested in you or if he/she just enjoys the thrill of the chase or adding another notch on the headboard. Forewarned is forearmed.
(everyone hang on, wall of text incoming)
Keeping a man interested (and in the chasing mood) isn't as difficult as women may think. We are actually incredibly simple creatures (with some subtlety thrown in) and pretty much made for "the hunt".
The idea though, is balance (this is actually true of everything in life ;)). We do like chasing after the girls, but there needs to be feedback. We need to be able to “catch” you once in a while, if you run too far away or we never get to see you in a vulnerable moment, unfortunately we will lose interest and go chase someone else. (Told you, we’re simple creatures)
The best analogy would be more like fishing really instead of actual hunting. In fishing, once the fish takes the bait, there's the constant tension on the fishing line, where the fish pulls and gives, the fisherman also does the same, because if he pulls to hard the line could break, but if he lets it go too much the fish can break away. Note that the woman’s role here is that of the fisherman (and here you thought I was comparing you girls to a fish). That tension is what makes the dating/relationship exciting and it needs to stay that way in order for both parties to be interested and eventually “move to the next level”.
This "tension" between 2 people usually happens naturally when they start dating each other, but it doesn’t mean that it can’t be provoked or extended unnaturally. It’s akin to the fish jerking the line or the fisherman suddenly reeling in quickly. Surprise is what keeps the excitement, but once again there needs to be reciprocity. Don’t pull too much, but don’t let go too much either. Once the initial infatuation subsides, if you want to continue having excitement, then it’s up to you (as a couple) to extend this state, or together decide to mellow out. (Too big of a topic to discuss, so let’s stop here)
Unfortunately, people get lazy with their relationship once they start getting used to it. Keeping the relationship exciting and alive is up to both parties, it can’t be a one way street or eventually the excitement dies out and well... things fall apart.
So, after that extremely long introduction, here’s my suggestion to your friend. Do something in return that will surprise him but not to go overboard, just enough to let him know she’s interested but that he will have to work to keep her interested. That is, if she really is interested in him. (note that she’s also having to work to keep him interested, so really it is a two-way street)
Unfortunately, like in everything, you can never be sure if the other party is really interested in you or if he/she just enjoys the thrill of the chase or adding another notch on the headboard. Forewarned is forearmed.
(everyone hang on, wall of text incoming)
Keeping a man interested (and in the chasing mood) isn't as difficult as women may think. We are actually incredibly simple creatures (with some subtlety thrown in) and pretty much made for "the hunt".
The idea though, is balance (this is actually true of everything in life ;)). We do like chasing after the girls, but there needs to be feedback. We need to be able to “catch” you once in a while, if you run too far away or we never get to see you in a vulnerable moment, unfortunately we will lose interest and go chase someone else. (Told you, we’re simple creatures)
The best analogy would be more like fishing really instead of actual hunting. In fishing, once the fish takes the bait, there's the constant tension on the fishing line, where the fish pulls and gives, the fisherman also does the same, because if he pulls to hard the line could break, but if he lets it go too much the fish can break away. Note that the woman’s role here is that of the fisherman (and here you thought I was comparing you girls to a fish). That tension is what makes the dating/relationship exciting and it needs to stay that way in order for both parties to be interested and eventually “move to the next level”.
This "tension" between 2 people usually happens naturally when they start dating each other, but it doesn’t mean that it can’t be provoked or extended unnaturally. It’s akin to the fish jerking the line or the fisherman suddenly reeling in quickly. Surprise is what keeps the excitement, but once again there needs to be reciprocity. Don’t pull too much, but don’t let go too much either. Once the initial infatuation subsides, if you want to continue having excitement, then it’s up to you (as a couple) to extend this state, or together decide to mellow out. (Too big of a topic to discuss, so let’s stop here)
Unfortunately, people get lazy with their relationship once they start getting used to it. Keeping the relationship exciting and alive is up to both parties, it can’t be a one way street or eventually the excitement dies out and well... things fall apart.
So, after that extremely long introduction, here’s my suggestion to your friend. Do something in return that will surprise him but not to go overboard, just enough to let him know she’s interested but that he will have to work to keep her interested. That is, if she really is interested in him. (note that she’s also having to work to keep him interested, so really it is a two-way street)
Unfortunately, like in everything, you can never be sure if the other party is really interested in you or if he/she just enjoys the thrill of the chase or adding another notch on the headboard. Forewarned is forearmed.
Thanks much Froilan!
Very good points:
"Told you, we’re simple creatures"
"Do something in return that will surprise him" and
"Unfortunately, people get lazy with their relationship once they start getting used to it."
Thanks much Froilan!
Very good points:
"Told you, we’re simple creatures"
"Do something in return that will surprise him" and
"Unfortunately, people get lazy with their relationship once they start getting used to it."
Froilan - Yes, and agreed and short-term. Please note the long term basis requisite thrown in there, though, and can we possibly agree that, long-term, that all sounds positively exhausting (as much as I enjoy fishing as the next woman) and who could possibly keep such up for any extended period of time?, I'm inclined to ask. Also - What's wrong with lazy relationships? I like lazy relationships. Think family. And best friends. And your favourite clothes/book/TV show (you fill in the blank). They're honest, easy, comfortable, effortless and fit perfectly.....
Froilan - Yes, and agreed and short-term. Please note the long term basis requisite thrown in there, though, and can we possibly agree that, long-term, that all sounds positively exhausting (as much as I enjoy fishing as the next woman) and who could possibly keep such up for any extended period of time?, I'm inclined to ask. Also - What's wrong with lazy relationships? I like lazy relationships. Think family. And best friends. And your favourite clothes/book/TV show (you fill in the blank). They're honest, easy, comfortable, effortless and fit perfectly.....
"I'd say in general and long-term, most guys want just what we want and what any fairly normal person wants: to be appreciated, loved and supported by a fairly well-balanced (or at least not completely neurotic), caring and empathetic person who is their best friend (or at least has the potential of becoming their best friend), who's got their back, shares ( at least some of) their interests, makes them laugh and enjoys s*x."
Eva D., Sep 19, 15 09:39
Darn, I was agreeing with you, until you threw in the bit about enjoying the sax. I kind of prefer running my fingers over the piano, counselor.
"I'd say in general and long-term, most guys want just what we want and what any fairly normal person wants: to be appreciated, loved and supported by a fairly well-balanced (or at least not completely neurotic), caring and empathetic person who is their best friend (or at least has the potential of becoming their best friend), who's got their back, shares ( at least some of) their interests, makes them laugh and enjoys s*x."
Eva D., Sep 19, 15 09:39
Darn, I was agreeing with you, until you threw in the bit about enjoying the sax. I kind of prefer running my fingers over the piano, counselor.
why is it important for you that he keeps chasing you?
If you guys are good together, and if you think he's a serious guy, then just slowly let him more into your life and see how things evolve. No need to make him chase for the sake of chasing.
why is it important for you that he keeps chasing you?
If you guys are good together, and if you think he's a serious guy, then just slowly let him more into your life and see how things evolve. No need to make him chase for the sake of chasing.
Id advise you to tell your friend to enjoy the romance and try and keep it going.... trust and mutual respect coupled with fun... overthinking things tend to lead to issues. If hes happy wooing her this way then let him contnue ....
Id advise you to tell your friend to enjoy the romance and try and keep it going.... trust and mutual respect coupled with fun... overthinking things tend to lead to issues. If hes happy wooing her this way then let him contnue ....
why is it important for you that he keeps chasing you?
If you guys are good together, and if you think he's a serious guy, then just slowly let him more into your life and see how things evolve. No need to make him chase for the sake of chasing.
Thanks Nir, no for the sake of chasing but for the sake of keeping him interested.
Thanks Nir, no for the sake of chasing but for the sake of keeping him interested.
Id advise you to tell your friend to enjoy the romance and try and keep it going.... trust and mutual respect coupled with fun... overthinking things tend to lead to issues. If hes happy wooing her this way then let him contnue ....
Glad you made it to this forum. Was is because of the title? 
nope... the content...
You are thinking too much... (and mostly about analysing his intentions)
the real question is what do you want his intentions to be? in which case you become more clear on what you want!
the rest is unknown which makes it interesting/exciting. by over analysing and thinking of all possibilities and going over all scenarios you are taking away the fun...
You are thinking too much... (and mostly about analysing his intentions)
the real question is what do you want his intentions to be? in which case you become more clear on what you want!
the rest is unknown which makes it interesting/exciting. by over analysing and thinking of all possibilities and going over all scenarios you are taking away the fun...
No, she isn't. If anything, Rena is totally (and refreshingly/endearingly so, if I may add) clear on what she wants. She wants him to want her to be the one (see above). And being somewhat sceptical as to whether his plunking roses and alcoholic beverages in front of her front door and then splitting being a move in such direction. And she's asking for you lot's advise and input as regards how best to get to there (presuming you all function more or less in the same way). Man Manual, basically. No (or at least very little) thinking involved, I am guessing
No, she isn't. If anything, Rena is totally (and refreshingly/endearingly so, if I may add) clear on what she wants. She wants him to want her to be the one (see above). And being somewhat sceptical as to whether his plunking roses and alcoholic beverages in front of her front door and then splitting being a move in such direction. And she's asking for you lot's advise and input as regards how best to get to there (presuming you all function more or less in the same way). Man Manual, basically. No (or at least very little) thinking involved, I am guessing
No offense
except, it's not Rena....it's her friend. unless it's "her friend".
except, it's not Rena....it's her friend. unless it's "her friend".
Thanks Zonker, yes ;)
Right. The friend. Of course. Sorry.
