When I first came to Switzerland someone told me that here you make friends with people that you wouldn't have at home. Initially I had some reservations about this, but no she was right and it's great. Even friends who are only around for a short time can add real colour to your life. Enjoy, Yvonne
yvonneB, Jul 19, 2007 @ 10:01

I've been in Switzerland for 20 years (married a Swiss, had 4 kids and lived up in the mountains hearing french or swiss-german ONLY) and it's only when I came to Geneva that I became aware of the international world.

It was really odd to meet people who see Geneva as a temporary place, comparing it to London, Berlin or other cities they've "done". My children are also intrigued by these other kids who go to english schools, english sports, etc., etc. etc.
It's just a different outlook; if you know you won't be there for long, I guess you protect yourself from the pain of tearing up roots over and over.

I've been on GoL since March and if I look at the real friends which I've made, I have to admit that they are all people who are Swiss, French or settled here for good.

The advantage of GoL is that you CAN find both types of friendships. There are people willing to invest more of themselves and of course there are those who see Geneva as one of many places to live.

That's the beauty of GoL, is that you can decide for yourself how deep you want to go, whether you are a chicken photo who is just looking for an on-line chat with a stranger or a Papa-Poule Julian who wants to embrace the whole world to his bosom and create lasting friendships with all.

Birds of a feather flock together!!
MarmarK, Jul 19, 2007 @ 12:53

I have been living like this much before arriving in Geneva.
Since the university, when people started to go live abroad for work... then when I was in France, most of my friends were international journalists... changing country every few years...
Now here.
But I don't think I lost friends. The ones I really was friend with... I know (I made the experience) I can still call them, visit them and organize holidays together... and they -here and there- do the same.
I go on thinking that choosing this kind of life, you make more and more friends (rather than going out all your life just with your schoolmates) you choose them better and better, you open your mind more and more...
I understand there are moments when you REALLY would need THAT friend to talk to, but when it happens, I still call them, even if I didn't see them in five years, and as I'm here for them, they are there for me!
Cheeriup buddy! If you were living in a big city you'd keep contacts mostly by telephone anyway! :)
Stef__Granny, Jul 19, 2007 @ 13:34

it's somewhere around 60% (feel free to correct me if i'm wrong), but if I went by actual encounters of swiss people made since i've been here, i think there's actually only 8 people in geneva who aren't expats..
G___, Jul 19, 2007 @ 14:02

You bring up right points, Stef bro. But when a good friend leaves, it's still a sad moment...

promise me you'll never go back to Italy!



Nir Ofek, Jul 19, 2007 @ 14:19

i dont have problem - one always can dedicate her-/himself to friend/-s even after departure/geographic disconnect. every friend to certain extent enriches one & having memories should stimulate to meet each of those in future again, stay connected, not loosen ties. Stef-Granny can organise a workshop @ GoL, cant he? :-)))

forza giallorossi! bene!
Good_One, Jul 19, 2007 @ 14:22

Here's what the Swiss Statistics Office (http://www.bfs.admin.ch) says about the % of expats living in Swiss Cities:

CH total: 21% expats
Geneva: 39% expats (highest in all of CH)
Lucern: 16%
Zurich: 24%
Vaud (incl Lausanne): 29%

Nir Ofek, Jul 19, 2007 @ 15:07

Ive read about this 40% figure for Geneve before and had the impression that it related specifically to "non-swiss residents" .. i.e. half of this figure are settled immigrants, including for example, the vast portuguese population.

I agree with Bob; if youre thinking of hanging around, make the effort to meet some locals.
wilycoyote, Jul 19, 2007 @ 15:22

Probably even more for me being Swiss. To me, there's a sharp cut between mates and friends. I have hundreds of mates; pople I invite home, have parties with, go sailing or rollerblading with. But it takes me at least a year I guess to feel confortable enough to call a true friend in the middle of the night if I locked myself out, if my ex-wife just texted me that she's now living with someone else or if my mum calls me to say my uncle just died. As many expats stay for a year or two, and that we don't necesserly meet the first day, they usually leave just too early. At this stage just before I would feel like going visiting him / her sometimes, or stay in touch by mail or phone on a regular basis.

Another fact is: the more friends you have, the less time you have for each one of them. I'd love to see or at least exchange an email with all my friends and mates at least once a month... I just can't. This is probably why very social GOLers tend from time to time to go more low profile, within a smaller network of more intimate friends, as already discussed on this forum.
Hobbes, Jul 19, 2007 @ 16:51

"the more friends you have, the less time you have for each one of them" - good thesis Xavier
Good_One, Jul 19, 2007 @ 18:22

Why Italy, if I'm a citizen of the world? (and the king of Geneva) ;)
Never mind, anyway. If they ever manage to deport me, you'll have guests room ready and my telephone always on! :)
Stef__Granny, Jul 20, 2007 @ 12:43

Je m'en foot! But if I have to choose an Italian football team, it will be Lazio.
Forza i Biancazzurri!!!
(Workshop? Whattaryoutokkinabbaout?)
Stef__Granny, Jul 20, 2007 @ 12:45

39% expats?

is it the reason why the expats are feeling in Geneva at home?

..... and don't try to learn french?

as long as people don't learn the country language, they will have problem to find friends
versace, Jul 20, 2007 @ 13:19

is it so important to have friends?

I don't have friends...qnd I am very happy like this :-))
versace, Jul 20, 2007 @ 15:52

Whether between expats or natives or expat and native, friendships have a life cycle. Each friendship is unique. Given the right circumstances a friendship is born, then it grows, it matures, it may decline and becomes history.

Before commenting further, I agree that there is an entire spectrum in relationships - from acquaintances, to buddy, to friends. I do not use the term friend lightly. The term friend, to me, means someone you really care about, want the best for, empathasize with, be open and honest with, and something that is sustained with understanding and a deep sense of trust and respect. My premises on friendship are similar to what some refer to as Amicitia, some as Philia, some as Mitta.

I am not convinced that friendships require that two people speak the same language or share the same culture or such things. Yes, common language and shared sense of learnt culture may make it easier to understand each other and not to misunderstand each other. Still, that is not enough. Within families, for example, you can witness siblings who are closer and those that are less. It is not language or culture that alone makes two people friends. Friendships requires chemistry, bonding and deeper connection. And these can develop even if we do not share language or culture. Honesty, empathy, trust and respect can still sustain and develop friendships between individuals with very different backgrounds and upbringing.

To me, the life cycle of friendship requires the right conditions to germinate. It does not germinate when individuals focus on superficial differences and ask stereotypical and boring questions - where do you work? where are you from? where were you born? how long have you been here? Do you like it here? And, the many other simplistic or yes-no type questions. These questions lead more to acquaintances and buddy-type relationships. Friendships germinate when the questions evolve into discovering the inner beauty, unique experiences, personal convictions and similar things of an individual.

Even if friendship germinates, it can fail to grow. It does require varying amounts of time and effort. Some grow faster. Some grow slower. It can not be rushed.

Friendships mature. The discovery phase is mostly over. It becomes more of co-evolution. The beauty of life is that we as individuals mostly continue to change, grow, evolve. Sometimes, for the better. Sometimes, for the worse. Sometimes, sideways.

And friendships can become history. Distance, time, changed perspectives and other such factors can convert friendships into memories - sweet ones.

What matters then is not that frienships have a lifetime that is as long we live or that it is less than lifelong. What matters, to me, is that the friendships have a quality, depth and substance that gives life meaning, purpose and joy.

I feel it is more important to cherish the moments we have with our friends and a stranger-who-could-be-a-friend. Cherish each moment as if it was our last moment with them. We should cherish the simple things, the small laugh, the moments of smile.... make the most of the lifecycle of friendship. It is less important how long and continuous a friendship lasts. It is more important how meaningful and life-giving a friendship is. To help meaningful friendship germinate, we should approach someone if we become curious and feel the warmth of possible friendship. To help meaningful friendship grow, I feel we should treat everyone with respect, regardless of how they are treating you.
colorado, Jul 23, 2007 @ 01:15

...as far as u have got interests in every one of them, that's mayB ok
Good_One, Jul 23, 2007 @ 13:30

... is the cuckoo...., oh, and hot cheese...

Top tip for today: Make friends with anyone and everyone, even locals move on, so a broad social circle is a solid social circle!

Now.... who wants to be in my circle of trust?

:-))
Charlie, Jul 25, 2007 @ 18:54

true that when we get married, we don't think that we are gonna be part of the 50% that get divorced, and, in my opinion, a good part of the 50% get divorced because they wanna take the "easy way out of things" and not even bother on trying to make things work. Still, very bad things can happen that cannot be solved and divorce is indeed the best solution.
It just kills all my ideal of a romantic thing to have the money on the back of my head.....so, why even bother to get married?!!!!!!!!!!!
Iolly, Jul 26, 2007 @ 01:58

something that people need to think about, since if you co habitate for a certain period you are entitled to almost similar financial gains / losses if you split.

so Iolly.... get married anyway, since you two live together, it makes no difference anyway.

p.s. can I come to the wedding? :-))))
Charlie, Jul 26, 2007 @ 13:58

I was trying to find a Swiss-made cuckoo clock only to be told by the shopkeepers that cuckoo clocks are made in Germany. One lady even went so far as to tell me that Swiss-made cuckoo clocks had inherent problems and she has stopped stocking them. I find that a bit difficult to believe as Switzerland is renowned for its watch-making industry. It's more likely a case of being able to make profit as labour cost is expensive here!
springday, Jul 30, 2007 @ 15:50

You just want free food ....:-)
Iolly, Jul 31, 2007 @ 13:28