so what is the moral of they story! we all are struggling in our lives! We all have been humiliated several times at some point! i am sure your life is a lot better than many. Keep trying. you are young! life is tough and unfair so keep fighting! 

Virginia - I'm sorry you felt the need to post this, but if you want to be taken seriously, then I have a couple of suggestions for you.  

Firstly, don’t post stuff like this on an open forum and expect it to “improve your own health”.  It won’t.  You could lay yourself open to mockery, abuse and very unhelpful comments. 

So I’m going to try to be helpful, maybe a little harsh, but fair.  After all, I presume you posted all this because you want some advice or some answers?

Next, start by taking that HUGE “I am a Victim” note off your forehead and accept that you are responsible for everything you have or don’t have in your life RIGHT NOW.

Yes, you heard right.  YOU created every single situation that you have in your current reality and you’re compounding your problems by implying that it’s all someone else’s fault.  It’s not.

Now you need to address your own question: “What am I doing with my life”.  Don’t you know?  It sounds like you know exactly what you’re doing – I do, it’s all in black and white above!.  

You’re studying in a private school that you can’t afford.  Why not study in a state school that you could afford.  I can’t imagine that “International Management” is exclusive to private schools.

You’re Spanish (i.e. EU) and you don’t have a work permit.  Why – address the issue and find out how you can get one.   Companies providing Internships will sort out a work permit for you but you probably haven’t even asked the question, have you?

You don’t have AVS – why not.  Possibly because you don’t pay any tax.  I’m sorry, but that’s not anyone’s problem but your own.  Resolve it.

You’ve been “working so hard for nothing”.  SERIOUSLY?!?  You’re not getting paid?  Or you ARE getting paid and therefore you have an employer.  They can sort out a work permit?  They should be deducting tax from your wages and you can then pay your AVS (by the way, AVS is something that you pay – it’s not a god-given right to “have”).

You get “insulted and humiliated several times”?  REALLY?  What’s your attitude and approach to these people who are insulting you?  Given your post, might it be because you project a “what about me, life owes me a living” attitude?  Think about it and resolve it. 

Finally, you have to walk home in the middle of the night for 1.5 hours and all you can say is “I don’t deserve that”.   So you’re deliberately putting yourself in danger for a crappy job that pays you nothing and you think you “don’t deserve that”.  

You need to seriously question your beliefs about what you do and don’t “deserve” in life and change them molto pronto because guess what? 

Whilst you have the beliefs that you have (I’m a victim, life’s not fair, I don’t deserve this, I have no work, I have no money, it’s all too hard) you will get everything you deserve and from where I’m standing, none of it’s looking too attractive.

I’m sorry if this sounds like a verbal slap around the face, but “victim sob stories” do my head in.  

You can choose to, or choose not to take any notice of the above, but do yourself a HUGE favour and download (free) articles from  http://www.richbits.com/.  

Read and Learn – you’re intelligent enough to do that, aren’t you?

We here in neighbouring France can hardly ever understand what is the be all and end all of living and working in Switzerland? My advice to you would be to go elsewhere, where it is less expensive, where you do not need a work permit and where you would undoubtedly feel happier - after all, you could come to where we live only a short distance away and not have half of this aggro. Switzerland is not, and has never been Utopia - it has major faults like any other country, especially xenophobia. So hold your head up high, pack your bags, and go somewhere where you will feel a whole lot happier.

I asked several times to my employer to make me a work permit and NOTHING. They didn't want.

And I cannot come back in Spain. I have nobody. My father used to hit me when I was a child. I don't have family! And I have nothing there.

What can I do? And Carolyn C, thank you for your words! In fact, I agree with you. But it's impossible. When I asked for a legal status they said: "Fermez-la, sale, pute, espagnole" what it means: "Shut up, slut, bitch, Spanish". My reaction was hard, of strong, but they just laughted.

On the basis of your education have you actually applied for a residency permit yourself? 

Your story touched me, and I do feel for you.

There are people you can talk to about this who may be able to help.

The main thing though is to keep kicking, keep fighting, and keep positive.

why don't you contact the OCP and put a complaint against the bar/restaurant!  who rejected to filled your documents for permit? it is very easy to prove you are working there. anyways! Try to find a new job! If you have experience i am sure you will find a job. maybe try in some other city or in other contons as well. Once they make contract with you. you will get your permit. For applying an internship most of the times you don't need a work permit. Especially if you are EU citizen. Anyways! Again i would say! Avoid of telling the people your stroy, it can bring a trouble on you.

Keep fighting! 

I understand the world is against you at the moment or at least thats how it seems.  Firstly try to change that attitude and be more psitive it will work more in your favour.

The next point, why Geneva?  If your in france and your currently here as bar staff/waiteress and down because you cant get rights here, why not establish your self in France where you live?  Work close to your place, build up some cash and some rights and apply for internships from over the boarder, or apply for jobs which will give you a frontelier permit.

once you have this then look at establishing yourself in Switzerland and converting to a B permit

Some facts of life:

‘When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.

When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look, you most likely turned your back on the world.

When you think you have no chance at getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, you probably sooner or later will get it’.

[From an email that a friend sent me in 2001, which I look at whenever I feel discouraged in my life].

Virginia Isabel, I hope that you will find the courage, strength, energy and patience to improve your situation – it looks like following all the useful advice you’ve been given since your post earlier would be a good start

I understand all the "think positive - you make your own luck" stuff, but it's not always the answer, especially for someone who is already feeling hopeless.

Virginia Isabel - you've done the right thing in reaching out and you should continue to do so.  Don't be afraid to bring your questions here or your frustrations as it will be a useful step towards getting some support and to realising that you are not alone.  There are a lot of knowlegable and helpful people on these forums who are keen to help and offer advice.

Have you thought of contacting

F-Information et Documentation pour les Femmes

67 rue de la Servette  1202 Genève

022 740 31 00 

f-information.org 

where you’ll find a sympathetic audience for situations like yours ?

See their website for opening hours.

Also, both Caritas and the Centre social protestant have counselling service for people in need of guidance and a helping hand in getting their lives on track. The service is available to all, irrespective of nationality, permit status, financial resources, whatever, so check their websites for more info.

All the best,

Ritchie

> I asked several times to my employer to make me a work permit and NOTHING. They didn't want.

Do they know that if you sue them they're going to pay you a lot of money (not to mention being in deep trouble with the law)? Go to an association that protects illegal people like you -- they know what to do, the economy in Geneva is heavily based on the exploitation of paperless immigrants.

Good luck!

Your post did remind me of a speech by Richard Dawkings (you can find the whole on youtube under "We are going to die").

"We are going to die, and that makes us the lucky ones. Most people are never going to die because they are never going to be born. The potential people who could have been here in my place but who will in fact never see the light of day outnumber the sand grains of Sahara. Certainly those unborn ghosts include greater poets than Keats, scientists greater than Newton. We know this because the set of possible people allowed by our DNA so massively exceeds the set of actual people. In the teeth of these stupefying odds it is you and I, in our ordinariness, that are here."

Mostly to yourself, you owe it, to make the best of your short time given here on this speck of dust in this cold, mostly lifeless universe. Sure, you are free to live in misery, but there will be no reward for that, neither in this nor in a later life.

I am not saying, that you are your own master of your destiny and that you can become whoever you want. But in most cases, you should be able to find a way to improve your life. But it is you, who has to do the heavy lifting and there is no chance, even after putting all your work, that it will turn out perfict. Just better than it is now. In small steps.

Sadly, I won't go into the work permit quesiton. Others might have more expertise in this department. But as a Swiss citizen, I would kindly ask you to respect the local rules and laws. Working for the government, I am sure, that you will find some help, if you sincerely seek it.

You write, that you have been insulted and humiliated. And you write about your situation in your family and in Spain. Insults and humiliation only work, if you give credence and power to those that treat you badly. You yourself can decide, which insults you take to heart, and which ones you ignore. It might be just me, that I don't really care about the opinion of people I don't know and don't want to know, so why should I care, what they say about me? Insults are made to hurt someone and if you can ignore insults, they have no power over you.

Further, you write, that you have "no family, no friends, no swiss work permit, no insurance". If you got money, you will be able to be insured. Work permit, I can't say much about that. Familywise, you either have to accept or reject what you got, or found a new one. Friends take a lot of work and noone likes someone who is in a constant state of selfpity. Find out what you like to do and when it is something social accepted, do it with peope who have similiar intrests. Even though Geneva is not that big a town, there should be a club for most of your personal intrests. Plus there are a lot of events here. I don't find it difficult to meet interesting people on glocals (shameless plug)...

"WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?" Probably not what you should do. Again, it is not up to me or others to tell you what to do with your life, but instead of thinking how bad it is right now, I would suggest thinking what you would be rather doing and then working towards that aim.

Life sucks.

2 small words.....

.....and the other 10 or so posters have just put their hands in the air and said "sorry, that's it, I'm outta here".

Every single comment has been constructive, sympathetic and some have offered excellent practical advice.

And that's your way of saying "thanks".  

You might want to look up "gratitude" in the dictionary before you post anything else.  I, for one (with probably 10 others) am unsubscribing from this thread.

Virginia

Carolyn is absolutely right, you have been given a great deal of good advice and help. Be grateful!

My husband had dreadful cancer last year. You think you have problems? It took months and months of operations, doctors' visits, therapy and, and, and with the worst part not knowing if he would come out of it. But throughout all this trauma, we both tried to keep a positive attitude and count our blessings.

There are always people in the world who are a great deal worse off than you!

take no notice of these impatient people Virginia: no one really expects you too turn your life around in the space of a couple of hours and after a couple of "pull yourself together" forum posts.

There are many people in the Geneva area struggling with their lives, one way and another, despite the outward appearance that everyone is happy and successful.  The important thing is to not struggle alone.  Keep telling us here how you are doing and try to find someone that you can talk to and lean on. It will make a big difference.

Hi Virginia,

Please dont take this as offence.. but believe me,, as long as you feel sorry for yourself.. you always will see negativity,, as long as you play the victim and see what you dont have, you will continue to be in the same state of mind.

Its just a matter of perspective. Try and look at it this way. Be thankful for what you have. Your living, you have your arms, legs, eyes etc (i assume).. I assume you are not starving, you are not being violently abused,, you are not being bombed to death etc... The fact is most of the world is starving or in severe poverty or war,, we in the west are very lucky,, although we live in a bubble, and we dont see th bigger picture. We can never really relate to not not having food in our day.. or starving to death or somthing. There are children out there in countries like africa (not exclusively) who have no parents, living from scraps they find in the dust,, just about living.

Be thankful you have what you have,, and go out there and use what you have to the best of your ability. If you dont succeed.. at least you tried your best. Moaning or dwelling on what you dont have will never help you,, but infact bring you down more. Always look to people who have less than you.. never look at those who have so much more.

I hope you find a solution to your problems.. now pick your head up,, and change your perspective to a positive one.. its just a mattter of choice how you look at it.

we all have been depressive once in our lifetimes, everyone of us out of different reasons, no? maybe some of us are still dealing with it, will always have to deal with it. you can NOT just "change your perspective to a positive one", when you are wearing these thick black depression-glasses, you just CAN'T. there is no "on/off" button to depression, and after some point its no more a question of "point of view". so stop wanting her to be thankful or positive, thats the way she feels at the moment – maybe she sounds sullen, when she says "life sucks", but hey … its ok to hate life sometimes 

@Virginia: This forum is not the ideal place to share one's life story and worries. First of all, anyone can apply to a university - regardless if you have lived in France or not  (which does not make any sense). Once accepted you can apply for a residence permit based on your enrollment: you will have to provide proof of health insurance coverage, your letter of acceptance: then you would be able to work 15 hours a week (the rules are somewhat different if enrolled in a PhD program).

As you are basically working illegally, why not look for other under the table work?

And finally, as you are so disgusted with Switzerland as you are are a EU national, move away.