1) I’ve given up the search for reality; now I’m just looking for a good fantasy.
2)If you’re one in a million, there are six thousand people exactly like you.
3)The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
and ... oh so true ...
4) A woman will flirt with anybody in the world as long as other people are looking on.
And now some business ones!
Dilbert: Success is the happy feeling you get between the time you do something and the time you tell a woman what you did.
Dogbert: Work is for losers. A winner says 'That's on my list' and never commits to a deadline.
Bob the Dinosaur: It might look like I'm standing motionless, but I'm actively waiting for my problems to go away.
Enjoy
Vale
Global Forums > General > Some funny/sarcastic quotes for the day :)
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Some funny/sarcastic quotes for the day :)
Sep 19, 2006 @ 18:30
The text you are quoting:
1) I’ve given up the search for reality; now I’m just looking for a good fantasy.
2)If you’re one in a million, there are six thousand people exactly like you.
3)The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
and ... oh so true ...
4) A woman will flirt with anybody in the world as long as other people are looking on.
And now some business ones!
Dilbert: Success is the happy feeling you get between the time you do something and the time you tell a woman what you did.
Dogbert: Work is for losers. A winner says 'That's on my list' and never commits to a deadline.
Bob the Dinosaur: It might look like I'm standing motionless, but I'm actively waiting for my problems to go away.
Enjoy
Vale
HoilingSep 19, 2006 @ 18:30
2)If you’re one in a million, there are six thousand people exactly like you.
3)The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
and ... oh so true ...
4) A woman will flirt with anybody in the world as long as other people are looking on.
And now some business ones!
Dilbert: Success is the happy feeling you get between the time you do something and the time you tell a woman what you did.
Dogbert: Work is for losers. A winner says 'That's on my list' and never commits to a deadline.
Bob the Dinosaur: It might look like I'm standing motionless, but I'm actively waiting for my problems to go away.
Enjoy
Vale
HoilingSep 19, 2006 @ 18:30
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Re: Some funny/sarcastic quotes for the day :)
Post 1
May 31, 2011 @ 22:32
* I am like any other man. All i do is supply a demand... Al Capone.
* There cannot be a crisis next week.
My schedule is already full... H. A. Kissinger.
* What's an octopus with six legs ?...
The text you are quoting:
* I am like any other man. All i do is supply a demand... Al Capone.
* There cannot be a crisis next week.
My schedule is already full... H. A. Kissinger.
* What's an octopus with six legs ?...
Medicis, May 31, 2011 @ 22:32
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Re: Some funny/sarcastic quotes for the day :)
Post 2
Jun 1, 2011 @ 10:44
*Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
*Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together.
*There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
*Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
*Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together.
*There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
*Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
The text you are quoting:
*Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
*Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together.
*There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
*Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
Dominic A, Jun 1, 2011 @ 10:44
*Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together.
*There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
*Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
Dominic A, Jun 1, 2011 @ 10:44
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Re: Some funny/sarcastic quotes for the day :)
Post 3
Jun 1, 2011 @ 11:06
Mine ones are more philosophic although some of them might fall under funny :
* Man is not disturbed by events, but by the view he takes of them.
* The reason for all challenges is so that you can finally learn that none are bigger than you. :)
*In life you can only ever be scared, when you believe in limits.
You can only ever feel lonely, when you stop doing things.
You can only ever become bored, when you no longer follow your heart.
And you can only ever get overwhelmed, when you think the illusions are real.
*The difference between taking baby steps and acting small is that one prepares you for success, the other for a fall.
*The shorter you are the longer it takes for the rain to get to you... :)
*The "right" circumstances, people, and opportunities are just like "good" ideas - they come to you fastest, once you relax.
*Whenever something doesn't work out the way you thought it would, instead of thinking that something went wrong, see it as something that went unexpectedly well, but for reasons that are not yet apparent.
*May peace break into your home and may thieves come to steal your debts
May the pockets of your jeans become a magnet for $50 notes
May love stick to your face like Vaseline and may laughter assault your lips
May happiness slap you across the face and may your tears be that of joy
May the problems you had, forget your home address and phone number!
Have a lovely day :)
The text you are quoting:
Mine ones are more philosophic although some of them might fall under funny :
* Man is not disturbed by events, but by the view he takes of them.
* The reason for all challenges is so that you can finally learn that none are bigger than you. :)
*In life you can only ever be scared, when you believe in limits.
You can only ever feel lonely, when you stop doing things.
You can only ever become bored, when you no longer follow your heart.
And you can only ever get overwhelmed, when you think the illusions are real.
*The difference between taking baby steps and acting small is that one prepares you for success, the other for a fall.
*The shorter you are the longer it takes for the rain to get to you... :)
*The "right" circumstances, people, and opportunities are just like "good" ideas - they come to you fastest, once you relax.
*Whenever something doesn't work out the way you thought it would, instead of thinking that something went wrong, see it as something that went unexpectedly well, but for reasons that are not yet apparent.
*May peace break into your home and may thieves come to steal your debts
May the pockets of your jeans become a magnet for $50 notes
May love stick to your face like Vaseline and may laughter assault your lips
May happiness slap you across the face and may your tears be that of joy
May the problems you had, forget your home address and phone number!
Have a lovely day :)
Evita I, Jun 1, 2011 @ 11:06
Your Reply:
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Re: Some funny/sarcastic quotes for the day :)
Post 4
Jun 3, 2011 @ 07:56
Hi
Here some of mine
"my only regret in life is that i am not someone else* woody allen
"just when i discovered the meaning of life, they changed it" George Carlin
"the meaning of life is that it stops" Kafka
"People will believe in anything if you whisper it" karl kraus ( whos that?)
"I dont believe in mathematics" Albert Einstein
"millions long for mortality who dont know what to do with themselves
on a rainy sunday"
"we are all born mad, some remain so "Samuel beckett
"In LA there is a hotline for people in denial, so far no one has called"
George carlin
"some cause happiness wherever they go , others whenever they go"
oscar wilde
The text you are quoting:
Hi
Here some of mine
"my only regret in life is that i am not someone else* woody allen
"just when i discovered the meaning of life, they changed it" George Carlin
"the meaning of life is that it stops" Kafka
"People will believe in anything if you whisper it" karl kraus ( whos that?)
"I dont believe in mathematics" Albert Einstein
"millions long for mortality who dont know what to do with themselves
on a rainy sunday"
"we are all born mad, some remain so "Samuel beckett
"In LA there is a hotline for people in denial, so far no one has called"
George carlin
"some cause happiness wherever they go , others whenever they go"
oscar wilde
star, Jun 3, 2011 @ 07:56
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Re: Some funny/sarcastic quotes for the day :)
Post 5
Jun 3, 2011 @ 10:54
"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception."
"I love work, i could watch people do it all day."
and a few from jimmy carr:
"I'm not being condescending, I'm too busy thinking about far more important things you wouldn't understand."
"See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. Rohypnol(TM)."
"When you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste. When I was in India last summer, I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton."
The text you are quoting:
"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception."
"I love work, i could watch people do it all day."
and a few from jimmy carr:
"I'm not being condescending, I'm too busy thinking about far more important things you wouldn't understand."
"See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. Rohypnol(TM)."
"When you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste. When I was in India last summer, I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton."
G___, Jun 3, 2011 @ 10:54
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