These glorious insults are from an era before the English language was boiled down to 4-letter words. A far better use of language--memorable in and of itself. Oh, where did we go wrong?
A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease".
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.".
"He had delusions of adequacy.".
- Walter Kerr.
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.".
- Winston Churchill.
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.".
- Clarence Darrow.
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.".
- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it.".
- Moses Hadas.
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.".
- Mark Twain.
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.".
- Oscar Wilde.
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one.".
- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill.
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second .... if there is one.".
- Winston Churchill, in response.
"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here.".
- Stephen Bishop.
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator.".
- John Bright.
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.".
- Irvin S. Cobb.
"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.".
- Samuel Johnson.
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.".
- Paul Keating.
"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.".
- Charles, Count Talleyrand.
"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.".
- Forrest Tucker.
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?".
- Mark Twain.
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.".
- Mae West.
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.".
- Oscar Wilde.
"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination.".
- Andrew Lang (1844-1912).
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music.".
- Billy Wilder.
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But I'm afraid this wasn't it.".
- Groucho Marx.
