ummm a toughie.

I guess the young fella is indeed quite young. The most important thing is not to bad mouth their mum.. Young children are very perceptive even at a young age.. they are perceptive even to know the right from wrong... as he grows up he'll be able to formulate his own opinion without having anyone pissing in his ear. The only thing that you can do, is show him that you are preparing to go the extra mile ( travel to him even if you have to ). Firstly it shows that you care and are willing to go the extra mile, secondly it shows the mum that you don't really care about what she's doing and that she will not interfere with your relationship with your son, thirdly, it will show the court that YOU ( even though didnt have to ), are doing the right thing by the child . If it ever gets ugly, bonus points for you... Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt, washed it and threw it away.

Oh, forgot to say. He's 10.

The issue is that she has decided *not* to deliver him to me in Geneva today. It started a week ago and I've been writing her (and our lawyers) daily since the 23rd to make sure she adheres to the agreement. No reply. I'm still calling, texting, emailing, but it seems she's going to break the court order.

Isn't it up to you to go get him?  Unless you have a neutral drop off/pick up zone that has been agreed, it's not up to the person with primary custody to "deliver" him to your place, it's up to you to go get him.

-M

I'm not a parent but I work with kids. I sometimes try to put words on what they feel, because they know much more than we think but are not always able to express the way they feel. I would suggest you try to tell him the truth. You did your best to see him, but his mom had her own reasons not to let him go. You might not agree with her and it hurt you, but these things happen sometimes and we don't always control them... 

I don't know if this can help. But I hope you'll find a way to reach your son.

Myriam has it right. The truth is the only option, and a child is perfectly able to understand. This being dsaid, it's very difficult to frankly tell your child what is going on without blaming the other parent and I would use her exact words. Good luck.

I fully agree with Myriam. Also make sure you document all of this including the emails that you sent. It will help you in the long run. Do not bad mouth at any point. I have an 8 and 10 year old and it is AMAZING what they can figure out just by obseravation.

Wow Careena,

You are lucky! My 8 and 10 year old were hauled into court to decide! An hour and a half of questions without any of the parents and then they were told that due to children's rights all they have said could be kept secret from me and their dad..however, the kids responded that we keep no secrets in our family!

I personally thought the process of asking the kids to choose especially at this age was traumatic! They choose me but I still can't believe the whole process!

After you explain to your boy what happended this time, you need to ensure it doesn't happen again. 

If your ex broke the court order this time, and there's no strong reaction from you, she's likely to break it again and again. And that can make it very hard for your boy to develop the relationship he needs with you. So if indeed she clearly broke the court order, I'd take it back to court. I know it sucks to go to court, but I think you need to act hard now to ensure this stuff doesn't happen again.