ok folks, this has been something that has been bothering me for quite a while, and thou talking to some of close friends made me feel more 'normal' i still wanna hear ur opinion.
Do you think that we grow to be more open minded and 'patient' with travelling and leaving abroad? or we just become more intollerant and stuck with stereotypes? and if so, are we harder with people from our home country?
I am asking because it happened to me already a couple of times that since I live here and mountains are so close, friends and acquaintacies use my place as a base camp to go skiing. I don't mind it at all and everyone's welcome but that gave me the chance to notice some of the 'typical habits' that the 'typical average italian guy/girl' has and somehow getting really annoyed.
You know, stuff like .. always comparing things with 'the way they do them at home'. The coffee is never as good, every food which is not italian (or French) is not edible ... and if the person in question just moved to a foreing country or doesn't leave in Italy anymore doing the same with his/her own country.
Thou i know that sometimes it's hard to make small talk .. when i see young professionals, that have been travelling, leaving abroad for a while .. still behaving like kids that have never been abroad (or my granma) .. I find myself more and more annoyed.
So, am I a bad hostess, bad friend, bad person for being so harsh on my own country? Ok, the people i am referring to are probabily not that open minded yet, but am I supposed to be more tolerant? In the end I've been living abroad and I've travelled etc ... I don't compare everything with 'back home', but does getting annoyed at people that do that make me as close and intollerant as them?
Or is it just that maybe deep down I do miss things the way they are at home, but i learnt to deal with it, and being reminded about it all the time makes me homesick, or is it just that we work so hard that we don't wanna waste time on dull conversation??
Opinions please
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Are we really as open minded as we like to believe?
Feb 8, 2007 @ 17:39
The text you are quoting:
ok folks, this has been something that has been bothering me for quite a while, and thou talking to some of close friends made me feel more 'normal' i still wanna hear ur opinion.
Do you think that we grow to be more open minded and 'patient' with travelling and leaving abroad? or we just become more intollerant and stuck with stereotypes? and if so, are we harder with people from our home country?
I am asking because it happened to me already a couple of times that since I live here and mountains are so close, friends and acquaintacies use my place as a base camp to go skiing. I don't mind it at all and everyone's welcome but that gave me the chance to notice some of the 'typical habits' that the 'typical average italian guy/girl' has and somehow getting really annoyed.
You know, stuff like .. always comparing things with 'the way they do them at home'. The coffee is never as good, every food which is not italian (or French) is not edible ... and if the person in question just moved to a foreing country or doesn't leave in Italy anymore doing the same with his/her own country.
Thou i know that sometimes it's hard to make small talk .. when i see young professionals, that have been travelling, leaving abroad for a while .. still behaving like kids that have never been abroad (or my granma) .. I find myself more and more annoyed.
So, am I a bad hostess, bad friend, bad person for being so harsh on my own country? Ok, the people i am referring to are probabily not that open minded yet, but am I supposed to be more tolerant? In the end I've been living abroad and I've travelled etc ... I don't compare everything with 'back home', but does getting annoyed at people that do that make me as close and intollerant as them?
Or is it just that maybe deep down I do miss things the way they are at home, but i learnt to deal with it, and being reminded about it all the time makes me homesick, or is it just that we work so hard that we don't wanna waste time on dull conversation??
Opinions please
HoilingFeb 8, 2007 @ 17:39
Do you think that we grow to be more open minded and 'patient' with travelling and leaving abroad? or we just become more intollerant and stuck with stereotypes? and if so, are we harder with people from our home country?
I am asking because it happened to me already a couple of times that since I live here and mountains are so close, friends and acquaintacies use my place as a base camp to go skiing. I don't mind it at all and everyone's welcome but that gave me the chance to notice some of the 'typical habits' that the 'typical average italian guy/girl' has and somehow getting really annoyed.
You know, stuff like .. always comparing things with 'the way they do them at home'. The coffee is never as good, every food which is not italian (or French) is not edible ... and if the person in question just moved to a foreing country or doesn't leave in Italy anymore doing the same with his/her own country.
Thou i know that sometimes it's hard to make small talk .. when i see young professionals, that have been travelling, leaving abroad for a while .. still behaving like kids that have never been abroad (or my granma) .. I find myself more and more annoyed.
So, am I a bad hostess, bad friend, bad person for being so harsh on my own country? Ok, the people i am referring to are probabily not that open minded yet, but am I supposed to be more tolerant? In the end I've been living abroad and I've travelled etc ... I don't compare everything with 'back home', but does getting annoyed at people that do that make me as close and intollerant as them?
Or is it just that maybe deep down I do miss things the way they are at home, but i learnt to deal with it, and being reminded about it all the time makes me homesick, or is it just that we work so hard that we don't wanna waste time on dull conversation??
Opinions please
HoilingFeb 8, 2007 @ 17:39
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Re: Are we really as open minded as we like to believe?
Post 1
Feb 8, 2007 @ 19:42
some people are born complainers and nothing is never as good as back home/others. i know a woman who went on a cruise to Hawaii and complained through and through that they didn't serve steak and fries (as opposed to Hawaiian food). we all wondered why she'd gone, then, if it wasn't to enjoy the local food/sights/etc.
hope this helps!
;)
hope this helps!
;)
The text you are quoting:
some people are born complainers and nothing is never as good as back home/others. i know a woman who went on a cruise to Hawaii and complained through and through that they didn't serve steak and fries (as opposed to Hawaiian food). we all wondered why she'd gone, then, if it wasn't to enjoy the local food/sights/etc.
hope this helps!
;)
Minda, Feb 8, 2007 @ 19:42
hope this helps!
;)
Minda, Feb 8, 2007 @ 19:42
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Re: Are we really as open minded as we like to believe?
Post 2
Feb 8, 2007 @ 20:04
I did not understand something: where you always annoyed by folks that would complain about things not being just like in Italy or did you also complain/agree at the beginning and then changed ?...
In one case you might just remember how it felt to understand them and in the other... well maybe with time going some folks get more and more deeply rooted in their home country ? Then hopefully there will still be many visits rather that letting the distance and habits kill relationships.
My opinion is that some people hurt just for fun and the others are really worth it, specially when you know each other well. At the same time it is usually better to recognize that some friends are closer than others. I guess my personality lets me avoid turning radical (positively or negatively) turns with people on short time periods.
Your friends are lucky that you care this much.
Hope it makes sense.
Cheers,
B.
In one case you might just remember how it felt to understand them and in the other... well maybe with time going some folks get more and more deeply rooted in their home country ? Then hopefully there will still be many visits rather that letting the distance and habits kill relationships.
My opinion is that some people hurt just for fun and the others are really worth it, specially when you know each other well. At the same time it is usually better to recognize that some friends are closer than others. I guess my personality lets me avoid turning radical (positively or negatively) turns with people on short time periods.
Your friends are lucky that you care this much.
Hope it makes sense.
Cheers,
B.
The text you are quoting:
I did not understand something: where you always annoyed by folks that would complain about things not being just like in Italy or did you also complain/agree at the beginning and then changed ?...
In one case you might just remember how it felt to understand them and in the other... well maybe with time going some folks get more and more deeply rooted in their home country ? Then hopefully there will still be many visits rather that letting the distance and habits kill relationships.
My opinion is that some people hurt just for fun and the others are really worth it, specially when you know each other well. At the same time it is usually better to recognize that some friends are closer than others. I guess my personality lets me avoid turning radical (positively or negatively) turns with people on short time periods.
Your friends are lucky that you care this much.
Hope it makes sense.
Cheers,
B.
brooster, Feb 8, 2007 @ 20:04
In one case you might just remember how it felt to understand them and in the other... well maybe with time going some folks get more and more deeply rooted in their home country ? Then hopefully there will still be many visits rather that letting the distance and habits kill relationships.
My opinion is that some people hurt just for fun and the others are really worth it, specially when you know each other well. At the same time it is usually better to recognize that some friends are closer than others. I guess my personality lets me avoid turning radical (positively or negatively) turns with people on short time periods.
Your friends are lucky that you care this much.
Hope it makes sense.
Cheers,
B.
brooster, Feb 8, 2007 @ 20:04
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Re: Are we really as open minded as we like to believe?
Post 3
Feb 9, 2007 @ 19:41
You bring up a interesting point. Ethnocentrism (the belief that one's group is superior to others) seems to be a common human tendancy. Travel does indeed raise a person's awareness about how things are different elsewhere... which can also help to raise appreciation for how things are back home.
However, it requires a conscious effort (and some humility) to accept that others have different traditions/habits/etc. that work for them. These ways are not necessarily inferieur or superior... just different!
Perhaps a side effect of travelling is to help us to discover our preferences (ie. self knowledge). But what a shame when our personal preferences prevent us from truly understanding and fully enjoying other cultures just as they are.
Oh well, those are my words of wisdom for today!
However, it requires a conscious effort (and some humility) to accept that others have different traditions/habits/etc. that work for them. These ways are not necessarily inferieur or superior... just different!
Perhaps a side effect of travelling is to help us to discover our preferences (ie. self knowledge). But what a shame when our personal preferences prevent us from truly understanding and fully enjoying other cultures just as they are.
Oh well, those are my words of wisdom for today!
The text you are quoting:
You bring up a interesting point. Ethnocentrism (the belief that one's group is superior to others) seems to be a common human tendancy. Travel does indeed raise a person's awareness about how things are different elsewhere... which can also help to raise appreciation for how things are back home.
However, it requires a conscious effort (and some humility) to accept that others have different traditions/habits/etc. that work for them. These ways are not necessarily inferieur or superior... just different!
Perhaps a side effect of travelling is to help us to discover our preferences (ie. self knowledge). But what a shame when our personal preferences prevent us from truly understanding and fully enjoying other cultures just as they are.
Oh well, those are my words of wisdom for today!
Tango22, Feb 9, 2007 @ 19:41
However, it requires a conscious effort (and some humility) to accept that others have different traditions/habits/etc. that work for them. These ways are not necessarily inferieur or superior... just different!
Perhaps a side effect of travelling is to help us to discover our preferences (ie. self knowledge). But what a shame when our personal preferences prevent us from truly understanding and fully enjoying other cultures just as they are.
Oh well, those are my words of wisdom for today!
Tango22, Feb 9, 2007 @ 19:41
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Re: Are we really as open minded as we like to believe?
Post 4
Feb 10, 2007 @ 13:50
is that a lot of people are 'insecure' when they are not in their own setting. So the way they deal with it is by complaining/missing something from back home.
When someone visiting you gets to you, remember they are your friends to start with. But that doesnt mean you have to let them get away with things esp. when it's bothering you so much. Just dont say things when you are irritated. I bet if you told them nicely that things they were saying were getting to you, they'd be super surprised -- I am sure they don't even realize it! :)
When someone visiting you gets to you, remember they are your friends to start with. But that doesnt mean you have to let them get away with things esp. when it's bothering you so much. Just dont say things when you are irritated. I bet if you told them nicely that things they were saying were getting to you, they'd be super surprised -- I am sure they don't even realize it! :)
The text you are quoting:
is that a lot of people are 'insecure' when they are not in their own setting. So the way they deal with it is by complaining/missing something from back home.
When someone visiting you gets to you, remember they are your friends to start with. But that doesnt mean you have to let them get away with things esp. when it's bothering you so much. Just dont say things when you are irritated. I bet if you told them nicely that things they were saying were getting to you, they'd be super surprised -- I am sure they don't even realize it! :)
ramsye, Feb 10, 2007 @ 13:50
When someone visiting you gets to you, remember they are your friends to start with. But that doesnt mean you have to let them get away with things esp. when it's bothering you so much. Just dont say things when you are irritated. I bet if you told them nicely that things they were saying were getting to you, they'd be super surprised -- I am sure they don't even realize it! :)
ramsye, Feb 10, 2007 @ 13:50
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Re: Are we really as open minded as we like to believe?
Post 5
Feb 11, 2007 @ 00:21
I think that in general, living abroad - in terms of what it gives you - is a bit overrated. It does change us, but not drastically.
On the one hand, it makes us more accepting, allowing us to to see different things as just different but not as weird or wrong.
On the other hand, we lose a bit of home. After living in Geneva for 8 years, I honestly do not know where home is. It's not israel anymore, but it's not Geneva either. I sometimes envy those who have lived in one place their whole lives, and have long deep un-questionable roots.
As for complaining: I think that has nothing to do with if you live in your country or not. Some people choose to do or to shut up, others choose to talk.
On the one hand, it makes us more accepting, allowing us to to see different things as just different but not as weird or wrong.
On the other hand, we lose a bit of home. After living in Geneva for 8 years, I honestly do not know where home is. It's not israel anymore, but it's not Geneva either. I sometimes envy those who have lived in one place their whole lives, and have long deep un-questionable roots.
As for complaining: I think that has nothing to do with if you live in your country or not. Some people choose to do or to shut up, others choose to talk.
The text you are quoting:
I think that in general, living abroad - in terms of what it gives you - is a bit overrated. It does change us, but not drastically.
On the one hand, it makes us more accepting, allowing us to to see different things as just different but not as weird or wrong.
On the other hand, we lose a bit of home. After living in Geneva for 8 years, I honestly do not know where home is. It's not israel anymore, but it's not Geneva either. I sometimes envy those who have lived in one place their whole lives, and have long deep un-questionable roots.
As for complaining: I think that has nothing to do with if you live in your country or not. Some people choose to do or to shut up, others choose to talk.
Nir Ofek, Feb 11, 2007 @ 00:21
On the one hand, it makes us more accepting, allowing us to to see different things as just different but not as weird or wrong.
On the other hand, we lose a bit of home. After living in Geneva for 8 years, I honestly do not know where home is. It's not israel anymore, but it's not Geneva either. I sometimes envy those who have lived in one place their whole lives, and have long deep un-questionable roots.
As for complaining: I think that has nothing to do with if you live in your country or not. Some people choose to do or to shut up, others choose to talk.
Nir Ofek, Feb 11, 2007 @ 00:21
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