The guardian is a british newspaper isn'it ???

I was hoping that no-one would spot the flaw in this completely unbiased report.

Hang on - does this include the female scouse accent which to me is the world's greatest contreceptive?

I guess people in the sury also 'aven't 'eard Danny Dyer, innit! 

Haha, so how long is the queue?!

Actually, I rather like the female scouse accent.

Come to think of it, I think I like all female accents.  I guess I'm just a bit of a tart.

Forget I mentioned it.

It's getting terribly out of hand, so I'm going to set up a premium-rate "English Accent Chat-Line", where you'll be able to engage in explicit tea-preparation chat ("Milk in first - you saucy devil"), listen to people apologising for everything (including tripping over the cat) and saying raunchy English things like "I keep thinking it's Tuesday".

No chance of a politically incorrect German with an American accent making the premium segment. Goodness, it's another night with new and old BBC heroes, then. Not much cat tripping there, though. Just out of casual interest, do you apologise to the cat or the cat owner?

To the cat.  All English people do this.

Besides, cat's don't generally acknowledge that they have "owners" (they think of them as attendants) just as they don't acknowledge or respond to their "names", which they consider too effete.  (Their real, cat-assigned names are all tough and gangsta.)

Sincerest apologies to all for my inadvertant grocer's apostrophe.  I meant "cats", of course.

... a point I elegantly argued in my human rights course when demonstrating that animals have no conscience (consciousness, yes).  I would reject the doggy gangsta style and opt badass kittens. See www.catsthatlooklikehitler.com.

But of course you apologise – first to the cat in your most abject of tones and then to its owner(s) for reassurance that their beloved pet has not been traumatized.

Later, when writing your bread-and-butter letter to the hostess, you should reiterate your concern and hope that the cat is flourishing.

Should you subsequently receive a further invitation from these friends, stay clear of the cat.  Tripping over it may be excused once but never never twice.

R.

Is all way above this antipodean !!!!!

What delightful advice, thank you Ritchie. It was my intuition that grave deference was due to both parties. Mercifully, I have been shielded from this unfortunate mishap by offering honours to the respective incumbent cat from an appropriate height.

Hope you’re not losing any sleep though. R.

"British" the sexist accent? In the world? Hmmm....obviously compiled by the same people who likely think Africa is a country. 

Having lived in the Midlands of England for a good number of years in "The Black Country" I can attest that THAT is not a sexy accent. Friendly. Yes. Indecipherable? At times, though not as much as say, Glaswegian. But its rather difficult to take seriously being chatted up by someone who's opening gambit is "You orright, bab?" 

Perhaps by British they are talking about RP, which the BBC was so hot on years ago.

So could it be that the allure of an accent is in the ear of the auditor?

R.

and i thought russians have the sexiest accent while speaking english!

I don't think anyone will disagree with you about the Birmingham accent; it's sometimes good for comedy, but it has all the sex appeal of a road accident.

I mean that in a caring way, of course.

Well, blimey, you better take a look at the actual survey results, conducted by no less credible a source than "Time Out":

http://www.timeout.com/dating-2015/

1. The participants rate themselves 7.3/10 as a date (and that is in their unbiased opinion, of course).

2. Oh yeah, 58% of the respondents in London "instantly rule out a second date" based on "bad breath".

3. 41% of them decide 2 to 3 minutes into the date whether they want a second date. I guess dissappointment sets in very quickly when they see what's behind the green door of a british accent.

4. The second highest rated accent is "American" (whatever that means: Southern, New York, Boston, San Fernando valley, or African-American accent).

5. 60% of them get the largest number of dates online. Make sure to insert "British accent" in your online ad. But be ready to find your date ready to leave 2 to 3 minutes into the date.

6. 28% of the dates end in disappointment (no breakdown by accent), 21% in awkward goodbyes, 20% in nudity (though the survey does not clarify if this involves nudity by both parties, or if it is the reason for the awkward goodbyes), and luckily for the species, 0% end in children. The human gene pool is sufficiently contaminated, thank you very much. 

I'd like to see further analysis of (6.) that shows how many dates end in disappointing, awkward nudity.  Just so I know it's not only me.

I for one find the British accent very sexy!