FYI lantianxin connected me by chance with skype a couple of days ago, just trying to ask for some helps to other people that also live in Switzerland.
Her situation is very serious. She needs some different things: first of all a lot of love and real support to keeping hoping in some better future and to recover her own personality asap, but also some appropriate legal assistance with the swill Law as well, a job to survive here and....last but not least also a pc to be connected with her world also in China... Whoever can help her can connect her in glocals.com or keep in contact with me.
Please don't connect here only for curiosity!!!! She wrote this request to ask for some help, but she now feels like naked! Don''t hurt her with useless questions! Give answers, if you can. This is what lantianxin needs.
Many thanks in advance to everyone that can help. I know you will also try to do the most you can with this case. She deserves something better than to be sent back to China without her soul anymore!

BEHOPEFUL


BEMAD, Nov 7, 2007 @ 19:39

Hi guys

Lantiaxin spoke with me too, and I think she needs to speak to a lawyer and get some professional advice.

Any lawyers out there willing to help?

Thanks

Oded
SiteAdmin Oded, Nov 7, 2007 @ 20:09

LAVI centres are the best designed for those cases. Their job is to give you all the needed support to get out of trouble in legal terms. You should also not let yourself be impressed by any policeman. You are entitled to ask a female officer to register your case also. A special unit exists in Lausanne if needed.

On the psychological side, I would warmly recommand you to get in touch with Appartenances . This very reliable assocition provides free and anonym psychologic suppport with translator services. More details on:

http://www.appartenances.ch

Please get in touch privatly with me if you need any more details about thoses addresses or related infos.

Hobbes, Nov 8, 2007 @ 04:37

A foreign national married to a Swiss person receives a B permit. Normally the B permit, in the box labelled “motif de s?jour” [reason for stay] it is written “husband/wife of a Swiss citizen”.

I am assuming that you hold a B permit and that you are not currently employed.

Divorce – either through mutual consent or unilateral request.

In your case it appears as though it is your husband seeking the divorce, not you. In this case, he will have to wait for 4 years before filing the divorce application as the law states that a couple must be legally separated for that period before either party can unilaterally file for divorce.

If the marriage lasted for less than five years once the divorce is pronounced, and unless in the meantime you have found a job so that the “motif de s?jour” is for employment purposes, you will unfortunately be most likely asked to leave the country as your B permit will most likely not be renewed.

One point that is not clear to me (and is an important question for you to ask – perhaps at the Chinese Embassy) is whether or not the 4 year separation time counts towards the 5 year marriage period. If so, and if you have already been married 1 year, you may just make the 5 year marriage period.

Good luck with this situation. And in my opinion your best option is, as mentioned in a previous posting, going to the Chinese Embassy for assistance.

Tasmin67, Nov 8, 2007 @ 10:34

Just wanted to add that a person can unilaterally file for divorce before the 4 year period for "serious reasons". There is no definition for this and it is up to the court to decide. Your husband may try this route but I do not think he has very much chance for success. In any event do not (and I emphasise this) agree to a mutual divorce!!
Tasmin67, Nov 8, 2007 @ 11:07

Leonardo - she should immediately contact the Chinese Embassy in Bern - it is there to help its citizens abroad. The staff there should be able to put her in contact with the appropriate assistance, including legal representation if necessary.
Bella98, Nov 8, 2007 @ 11:46

.... if she CAN do something earlier and quicker about it because of the "serious reasons" that were mentioned above, woudln't she have to make sure she has evidence of this: witness statements, or doctors report, pictures, etc.?
Roberta, Nov 8, 2007 @ 19:35

i am so appreciated to got many wise comment here. thanks to leonard,Oded,fatih,justine,bella98,Julian T,Hobbes,Tasmin67 and Roberta....,kindly give your guys hands to me.

About the comment of justine and Tasmin67 are so true,and my husband and his mum know them very well also .(his mum is a swiss who marrie 4 times with 4 foreigners and all to divorced in the end. i don't want to offend her personal but just how make me feel not normal family as i wrote in the page).

About the comment of fatih and bella98,Hobbes, actually before i went to the LAVI of neuchatel, i did try to write an email and call the chinese embassy,it was about two three months ago,that time i was alway depressed by my husband and don't know where to ask for help. I didn't get reply from email then i try to call,i gave up after nobody answers always. At the moment i was thinking i have to withstand all these hard time myself, and still keep hope to get them through. And till my situation today,it's my mistakes that i use my chinese mind and culture to keep this family,but not ask the police and organization for help.

And here, to Roberta and all the wise warmhearted people,i didn't have strength evidences to sue him or find the law to protect myself. I know that's the key and the real helpful way.
In my position is just waitting to be banished on January, i am not using my tragedy to ask something, as i post my experienced,is just be encouraged by leonard,because i am so hopeless meanwhile told him about my experienced,feel so unhealthily for living like this.

I was a happy girl and try to smile to everyone therefor i feel shamed to publish all of my hurts , but after he did all the ways to put me in a disadvantageous position.I realize i am so foolish in this marrige.
When the LAVI asked me why i didn't go to hospital or police to protect myself,i think that's the key today i make myself in the hole also.
Since i am here,i can't have much freedom because i don't know french and here the ppl don't know english much also,and i even don't have my own money for a cafe. No mention i can go to the city of neuchatel,and where the hospital is. I did call the policeman once when i was alone 1 week,withou normal active life,i eat the overdate food
and i only can use the chinese medecine oil to heal my wounds. And after the police they come,but they can't understand what i said... they asked my husband to make an affidavit and tell me they will contact me later. And just the same day,my husband come with his mum,though i don't know french much,but they use many french words to insult me,his mum slapped me and push me out of the apparment,i don't wanna remeber these again...i feel i am even not a human being at that moment. they told me that i don't need to call the policemen because they won't give me any help. I think they said the true, the policemen really didn't contact me again. That's why the after violent i didn't call 117,( after when i sue my husband violent to the same policeman,he is clearly discrminate me,so i understand why i didn't get an answer that day after they gone) i just gave up to protect myself and start to think i should braved to tell somebody. I can't smaile to anybody anymore.
To me,the physical wounds i can try to heal by myself...but those days and tears...it like a big shadow to me,my mental become wandering .
When i mention aout humanistic ,just want some swiss not as discrminate as the policeman of my village,his standpoint just make me feel that i am a chinese woman use marrige to stay in switzerland or i didn't have knowledge and comment sense.he even don't wanna make the case for me to sue my husband.whatever i said he said he won't believe.
As my case,the law can't help me but the warm hand. I won't forget anyone who ever help me at these darkest days of my life in switzerland,and always welcome you guys come to visit my country and my city.:)
Try to give a hand to the people who is in the hole.

I am sorry that my english is not so well,just try to write down something for the people who is caring me.
Wish you all the best!









lantianxin, Nov 9, 2007 @ 01:57

1) STAY: do you think there be any way for lantianxin to stay in Switzerland longer shall she prefer to stay here? Either job or without job. Is there any Association that can take her of her before she might eventually get a new job? I imagine in GVA there may be few, like for refugees, etc (even if Chinese are not of course, but just for help!)

2) JOB: do you have any contact or suggestion for lantianxin to get a job here?

I really don't know shall lantianxin prefer to leave CH or to stay here, but at least let give her a trial!

Thanks a lot, you have a big heart.

BEHOPEFUL :-)
BEMAD, Nov 9, 2007 @ 11:27

EXP?RIENCE PROFESSIONNELLE
Superviseuse d’achats dans le textile, le cuir et les accessoires 2005-2006
Shaguns International ? Hong Kong
Responsable de l’importation et de l’exportation internationale ? Canton en Chine.

Assistante aux ressources humaines, s’occupant de l’?valuation
et du choix des diff?rents candidats 2004-2005
Canton – TV Station Chine

H?tesse d’accueil ? Li Du H?tel « Restaurant & Services traiteurs »
Canton, Chine 2003-2004
Accueil des h?tes VIP et accompagnement dans les divers services

COMP?TENCES INFORMATIQUES
Environnement XP, Microsoft Office XP, Internet. Email.

FORMATION
Guangzhou University « Journalisme » 2004-2006
- 2 ans
Guangzhou financial and travelling management
- Dipl?me d’?tude coll?giale 2002-2004

LANGUES
Mandarin & cantonais : niveau excellent (langues maternelles)
Anglais : Bon niveau
Fran?ais : Notions
BEMAD, Nov 9, 2007 @ 18:05

jobs in UN agencies. I think the best thing for you, as you get familiar with French is to work as an au-pair for a while until you find your feet and french and then look around for other jobs. Try and find something in Geneva, its much more multicultural here and you're more likely to find helpful hands.

Hang in there. It can only get better and this too shall pass.

Many hugs.
Susie, Nov 9, 2007 @ 18:38

IOM - International Organisation for Migration.

They have this service in London www.iomlondon.org, Maybe they have one here...??

Their toll free call in Chinese is 0800 783 2332 (UK)

Hope this can help...??

Cheers,

Mike
JackieChen, Nov 9, 2007 @ 19:51

the urgent problems are now i am living in his appartment,he came everytime to take my mails,open them and put them on the desk,check the telephone list and computer. that's all i can contact with outside world and should be privated.And he said if i don't accpect that i should leave .
so now i realy don't know what i can do to protect myself,i even don't know if i get my mail or he take something i don't know,we are opposite side but i am so passivity in this situation.
and since he is doing the separetion papers and i am going to the chomage french school everyday, can i leave to geneva...i really don't know what to do?

please tell me how i can stop him to open my letters and check all the things (i am using his pc with my hardisk,and that's the only thing i can contact by messenger with my family and friend,even like writting this post now.)

Can any attorney help me by the way,i dont have money to pay the avocate of neuchatel and i am sure if she likes to help me ...
lantianxin, Nov 11, 2007 @ 19:00

i don't know how to edit the wrong phase.

"Can any attorney help me by the way,i dont have money to pay the avocate of neuchatel and i am NOT sure if she likes to help me ..."

sorry. thanks to you guys agian sincerely!

lantianxin, Nov 11, 2007 @ 19:03

I know for a fact that the University of Geneva had free, law advice sessions, nearly every morning during the week. Try the universities in Neuchatel and see if they can offer free law advice, (if they have a law department). They would also surely know where to go to look for this advice.

S.
Susie, Nov 12, 2007 @ 16:04