World Cup 2014, it is just before Brazil VS England in Estadio Do Maracana, an important World Cup game. Neymar goes into the Brazilian changing room to find all his team mates looking a bit glum. "What's up?" he asks. "Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know it's important but it's only England. They're sh*t and we can't be bothered". Neymar looks at them and says "Well, I reckon I can beat them by myself, you lads go down the pub." (he says in Portuguese). So Neymar goes out to play England by himself and the rest of the Brazilian team go off for a few beers. After a few pints they wonder how the game is going, so get the landlord to put the TV on. A big cheer goes up as the screen shows "Brazil 1 (Neymar 10 minutes) - England 0 " He is beating England all by himself! Anyway, a few more beers later and the game is forgotten until someone remembers "It must be full time now, let's see how he got on" They put the TV on. "Result from the Estadio Do Maracana : Brazil 1(Neymar 10 minutes) - England 1 (Rooney 89 minutes)." They can't believe it, he has single handedly got a draw against England!! They rush back to the Stadium to congratulate him. They find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, sat with his head in his hands. He refuses to look at them. "I've let you down, I've let you down" "Don't be stupid, you got a draw against England, all by yourself. And they only scored at the very very end!" "No, No, I have, I've let you down!. I got sent off after 12 minutes".

SKY SPORTS BREAKING NEWS!! It has been announced that this years shirt sponsor for ENGLAND will be TAMPAX. A spokesman said, " To sponsor a load of cunts going through a bad period is exactly what our company is all about."