At this point I should point out I am not asking him to support me, I can go straight back to work once the baby is born and would be able to support myself.

My query only relates to the welfare of the child.

Can anyone reccomend a good bi lingual lawyer in Geneva? I will have no issues with French but I will need to consult professionals both here and in the UK - just making sure they can communicate!

Er...um... you will need some way of confirming paternity besides having a good lawyer...

The UK will require a DNA test also, unless my Ex appears in person at the registration of birth. Its no big deal, I'm not a tramp :P I was with this guy 4 years, hes a perfectly reasonable individual....except when it comes to unplanned pregnancy.

He has 6 months to get his head around things. He knows where I am to discuss things. That could be all he needs.

But I need to cover myself if I am leaving the country with his kid in tow - we need some arrangement.

Just trying to work out whats best for both of us.

It could be that we find away that we can stay in Geneva and co-parent together but apart. Which would obviously be ideal.

However if I am to be alone, I need the support of friends and famly back home

Just to be clear; I wasn't calling you a "tramp" -- just pointing out another potential legal issue. Good luck with everything..

Has the UK adopted mandatory DNA paternity testing?

Jamie,

I think you SHOULD be asking him to support you.   You won't WANT TO or BE ABLE TO go "straight back to work once baby is born" and if you've been living here and not working, you won't qualify for the UK's maternity leave payments (though you may qualify for some other support).

If you are living in CH and got a permit by following him, the fact you've already separated needs to be reported, so you'll need an attorney to find out what you should do (what does your permit say?).   If you are living in France, different story, but as you've been together 4 years (get proof together such as old rental contracts with both names), it's civil law so also you'd need an attorney.

If your partner is here as a diplomat this complicates things HUGELY.

Finally, get yourself a GREAT independent midwife and/or OB/GYN who has time for you.  And, especially as you may be birthing alone, a doula (disclaimer, I am a doula, but I am not suggesting this to get myself work, I am suggesting it as I am also a single mother). 

For a birth in the UK the website is http://doula.org.uk/.   If you choose to birth here, English-speaking doulas listed  http://www.expatdoula.ch.

To find a midwife in Geneva
http://www.sagesfemmesgeneve.ch/ or www.arcadesagefemmes.ch.

-Michelle

No. However unless he is in the UK and physically in the office to register the babys birth then he will not be included on the birth certificate. It becomes registered as "father unknown". This is because we are unmarried. I then would need to go the legal route to have him included, or get support which would involve a DNA test.

Whereas I'm told if you are married, and your wife plays away you will still be included on the birth certificate and then have to go to court get DNA to have yourself removed. Bizarre? Though I could be wrong.

Hi Michelle

Thank you for your informative post.

I have been working in GVA and I have a permit in my own right, mainly because, as we understood it I couldnt obtain a permit just because my partner was coming here. Anyway, I got myself a job...here I am!

You're right I won't qualify for any support from the UK taxpayer, I don't believe I qualify for NHS treatment either but I've been good and saved. At the moment the easiest and cheapest way for me to do things will be to continue living and working in geneva until the baby is born. I have sufficient medical insurance here which would make it cheaper than a private birth at home. Any family I want with me will be able to get her quickly if needs be.

The only reason I don't want to take unnecessary support from my ex is because the relationship between us since the pregnancy has been pretty poor. As I say, it ended the day I gave a positive test. I have enough money to support myself for about 18 months in the UK, but I've no idea how the cost of a child will bring that timescale down! I already have somewhere to live which helps massively. If I had a choice between having a baby with no father and a baby who has a father but just gets away with the bare minimum - I will take bare minimum. If I push to much, he'll be gone completely.

Off topic sorry. .. But absolutely sickens me that might not qualify for UK taxpayer support -- as a uk national who happens to have been working elsewhere for a while.

If you were any other national sneaking into the uk you'd get pretty much whatever you like.

You wouldn't get Statutory Maternity Pay "sneaking in".   You'd get some benefits (which Jamie could likely get too, e.g. Maternity Allowance), but not maternity leave & pay.

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/MoneyTaxAndBenefits/BenefitsTaxCreditsAndOtherSupport/Expectingorbringingupchildren/index.htm

Now taking it somewhat off-topic, and it is bizarre, but some, supposedly modern, countries here in Europe give a damn about biology once a man signs a birth certificate in good faith or does not contest paternity within a short time after birth. Get supicious after the time limit and the evidence is clear? Still on the hook for 18y for no reason.
On-topic: It's not unheard of to freak out when handed a major life-changing surprise (I assume, it was). Allow him some time to calm down, because cooperation is best, but do, of course prepare, if he doesn't. Best of luck.

Thank you for the post.

I am waiting for him to calm down, but after the "get yourself a termination" conversations I am preparing myself for him not coming round.

That said, It was a massive surprise. He is worried for my health (I assume) hense his wish for a termination. Lots of emotions flying around but I do need to prepare myself " for the worst".

I will say again, He is not a bad guy.

Ok i know.. I just think the uk has a very abused system.  My family example, I'm a higher rate tax payer, my wife works just 12hours, mainly to keep her sane.. She's not entitled to maternity pay because of the 12hrs thing, not entitled to something else because of my pay etc etc. If she wants anything from the tax payer, she has to attend some regular meeting to 'help her find work' .. even though she's on maternity.. I accept we can live without the money but i just don't think it's fair.

And yet, people nearby who never get off their bum get everything handed on a plate.

It's a whole other debate :)