A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork, and was burned out.  Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic.

He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes,
attended diligently, and learned all he could.  When the time of the
practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill.

When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%.  Fearing an error, he called the Instructor, saying, "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is an error in the grade?"

The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark." After a pause, the instructor added, "I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the exhaust pipe, which I've never seen done in my entire career".

One for Aussie/English cricket lovers.....

An Australian father goes into his daughter's bedroom and sees a letter
addressed to "Mum and Dad" on the bed.
With a heavy heart he opens it and reads:
Dear Mum & Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm telling you that I've eloped
with my new boyfriend.
I've found real love and he is so nice.
Especially with all his piercings, scars, tattoos, and his big motorcycle.
But it's not only that, I'm pregnant, and Ahmed said that we will be very
happy in his caravan in the bush.
He wants to have many more children with me and that's one of my dreams too.
I've learned that marijuana does not hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for
us and Ahmed's friends.
They're the ones providing us with all the cocaine and ecstasy we could ever
want.
In the meantime we'll pray to Allah for science to find a cure for AIDS, so
Ahmed can get better.
He deserves it.
Don't worry about money. Ahmed has arranged for me to be in films that his
friends Leroy and Jamal make in their basement.
Apparently I can earn $200 per scene. I get a $200 bonus if there are more
than three men in the scene and an extra $100 for the kangaroo.
Don't worry Mum. Now I'm 15 I know how to take care of myself.
Someday we'll visit you and Dad so that you can meet your grandchildren.

Your loving daughter,

Sandra

P.S. Dad, it's not true. I'm watching TV at the neighbours.
I just wanted to show you that there really are worse things in life than
England retaining the Ashes