- and another one - yeah I know another blonde joke but I hadn't seen this one before...

Two sisters, one blond and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble...

In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.

Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, 'When I get there, if I decide

to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.'

The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull and decides

she wants to buy it.

The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.

She walks into the telegraph office, and says, 'I want to send a telegram

to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch and I need

her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.'

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, it will cost 99 cents a word.

Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette realizes that she'll only

be able to send her sister one word.

After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, 'I want you to send

her the word 'comfortable.'

The operator shakes his head. 'How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word'comfortable?'

The brunette explains, 'My sister's blonde. The word is big.

She'll read it very slowly... 'com-for-da-bul.'

Jeff, wherever have you been hibernating not to have heard that one before?

But thanks for reviving my own old memories …

R.  

An 80-year-old Scotsman went to the doctor for a check-up.

The doctor was amazed at what good shape the old fellow was in and asked: "How do you stay in such great physical condition?'

"I am Scottish and I am a golfer," said the old fellow:
"and that is why I am in such good shape. I'm up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways.   I have a wee glass of whisky, and that's it."

"Well,' said the doctor, 'I'm sure that helps, but there has to be more to it. How old was your Dad when he died?"

"Who said my Dad died?"

The doctor was amazed. "You mean you are 80 years old and your Dad is still alive. How old is he?"

"He is 100 years old," said the old Scottish golfer. "In fact he golfed wi' me this mornin, and then we went to a topless beach in Glasgow for a walk and had anither wee dram and that is why he is still alive.  He is a Scot and he is a golfer, too."

"Well," the doctor said, "that's great, but I am sure there is more to it than that. How about your Dad's Dad? How old was he when he died?"

"Who said my Grandad is dead?"

Stunned, the doctor asked,
"You mean you are 80 years old and your grandfather is still living!Incredible, how old is he?"

"He is 118 years old," said the old Scottish golfer.

The doctor was getting frustrated at this point: "So, I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?"

"No. Grandad couldnae go this mornin' because he is getting married today"

At this point the doctor was close to losing it.
"Getting married!!
Why would a 118 year-old bloke want to get married?"

"Who said he wanted to?"

Sounds as though it might be more prudent to give those Glaswegian topless beaches a miss elst “Oh, la, la, … shame and scandal in the family!”

I am more amazed that Glasgow has a beach - too many drams one thinks !!