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Friday Funny on Friday



Jenny Craig Program for Men


I asked my doctor for a way to take some weight off, and he suggested the Jenny Craig program for men. 


I called the company and ordered their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.


The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before me a voluptuous, athletic, 19-year-old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.


She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.


The sign reads, “If you can catch me, you can have me.”


Without a second thought, I took off after her. A few miles later, huffing and puffing, I finally gave up.


The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens.


On the fifth day, I weighed myself and am delighted to find that I had lost 10 lbs. As promised.


I called the company and ordered their 5-day/20 pound program.


The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman I have ever seen in my life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, “If you catch me you can have me”.


Well, I'm out the door after her like a shot.


This girl is in excellent shape and I do my best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens and I'm gradually getting in better and better shape.


Much to my delight on the fifth day when I weigh myself, I discover that I have lost another 20 lbs. As promised.


So I decide to go for broke and called the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program.


"Are you sure?" asks the representative. "This is our most rigorous program."


"Absolutely," I reply, "I haven't felt this good in years."


The next day there's a knock at the door; and when I open it I find a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes, and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, you're mine."


I lost 63 pounds that week.
 
 
hope you are both watching Ritchie and Jeffrey....


The text you are quoting:



Jenny Craig Program for Men


I asked my doctor for a way to take some weight off, and he suggested the Jenny Craig program for men. 


I called the company and ordered their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.


The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before me a voluptuous, athletic, 19-year-old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.


She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.


The sign reads, “If you can catch me, you can have me.”


Without a second thought, I took off after her. A few miles later, huffing and puffing, I finally gave up.


The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens.


On the fifth day, I weighed myself and am delighted to find that I had lost 10 lbs. As promised.


I called the company and ordered their 5-day/20 pound program.


The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman I have ever seen in my life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, “If you catch me you can have me”.


Well, I'm out the door after her like a shot.


This girl is in excellent shape and I do my best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens and I'm gradually getting in better and better shape.


Much to my delight on the fifth day when I weigh myself, I discover that I have lost another 20 lbs. As promised.


So I decide to go for broke and called the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program.


"Are you sure?" asks the representative. "This is our most rigorous program."


"Absolutely," I reply, "I haven't felt this good in years."


The next day there's a knock at the door; and when I open it I find a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes, and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, you're mine."


I lost 63 pounds that week.
 
 
hope you are both watching Ritchie and Jeffrey....



sheila cDec 7, 2018 @ 15:51
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Re: Friday Funny on Friday
Post 1

A gem !! Thanks SC

The text you are quoting:

A gem !! Thanks SC


Jeffery S, Dec 10, 2018 @ 08:52
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Post 2

And now a little tale that made me smile...


IN CASE YOU DIDN'T ALREADY KNOW THIS LITTLE TIDBIT OF WONDERFUL TRIVIA..............ON JULY 20, 1969, AS COMMANDER OF THE APOLLO 11 LUNAR MODULE, NEIL ARMSTRONG WAS THE FIRST PERSON TO SET FOOT ON THE MOON. 


HIS FIRST WORDS AFTER STEPPING ON THE MOON,


"THAT'S ONE SMALL STEP FOR MAN, ONE GIANT LEAP FOR MANKIND," WERE TELEVISED TO EARTH AND HEARD BY MILLIONS.


BUT, JUST BEFORE HE RE-ENTERED THE LANDER, HE MADE THE ENIGMATIC REMARK "GOOD LUCK, MR. GORSKY."


MANY PEOPLE AT NASA THOUGHT IT WAS A CASUAL REMARK CONCERNING SOME RIVAL SOVIET COSMONAUT.


HOWEVER, UPON CHECKING, THERE WAS NO GORSKY IN EITHER THE RUSSIAN OR AMERICAN SPACE PROGRAMS .


OVER THE YEARS, MANY PEOPLE QUESTIONED ARMSTRONG AS TO WHAT THE 'GOOD LUCK, MR. GORSKY' STATEMENT MEANT, BUT ARMSTRONG ALWAYS JUST SMILED.


ON JULY 5, 1995, IN TAMPA BAY, FLORIDA, WHILE ANSWERING QUESTIONS FOLLOWING A SPEECH, A REPORTER BROUGHT UP THE 26-YEAR-OLD QUESTION ABOUT Mr. GORSKY TO ARMSTRONG.


THIS TIME HE FINALLY RESPONDED BECAUSE HIS MR. GORSKY HAD JUST DIED, SO NEIL ARMSTRONG FELT HE COULD NOW ANSWER THE QUESTION. HERE IS THE ANSWER TO


"WHO WAS MR. GORSKY":


IN 1938, WHEN HE WAS A KID IN A SMALL MID-WESTERN TOWN, HE WAS PLAYING BASEBALL WITH A FRIEND IN THE BACKYARD.


HIS FRIEND HIT THE BALL, WHICH LANDED IN HIS NEIGHBOR'S YARD BY THEIR BEDROOM WINDOW.  HIS NEIGHBORS WERE MR. AND MRS. GORSKY.


AS HE LEANED DOWN TO PICK UP THE BALL, YOUNG ARMSTRONG HEARD MRS. GORSKY SHOUTING AT MR. GORSKY,


"SEX! YOU WANT SEX?! YOU'LL GET SEX WHEN THE KID NEXT DOOR WALKS ON THE MOON!"


IT BROKE THE PLACE UP. 


NEIL ARMSTRONG'S FAMILY CONFIRMED THAT THIS IS A TRUE STORY.

The text you are quoting:

And now a little tale that made me smile...


IN CASE YOU DIDN'T ALREADY KNOW THIS LITTLE TIDBIT OF WONDERFUL TRIVIA..............ON JULY 20, 1969, AS COMMANDER OF THE APOLLO 11 LUNAR MODULE, NEIL ARMSTRONG WAS THE FIRST PERSON TO SET FOOT ON THE MOON. 


HIS FIRST WORDS AFTER STEPPING ON THE MOON,


"THAT'S ONE SMALL STEP FOR MAN, ONE GIANT LEAP FOR MANKIND," WERE TELEVISED TO EARTH AND HEARD BY MILLIONS.


BUT, JUST BEFORE HE RE-ENTERED THE LANDER, HE MADE THE ENIGMATIC REMARK "GOOD LUCK, MR. GORSKY."


MANY PEOPLE AT NASA THOUGHT IT WAS A CASUAL REMARK CONCERNING SOME RIVAL SOVIET COSMONAUT.


HOWEVER, UPON CHECKING, THERE WAS NO GORSKY IN EITHER THE RUSSIAN OR AMERICAN SPACE PROGRAMS .


OVER THE YEARS, MANY PEOPLE QUESTIONED ARMSTRONG AS TO WHAT THE 'GOOD LUCK, MR. GORSKY' STATEMENT MEANT, BUT ARMSTRONG ALWAYS JUST SMILED.


ON JULY 5, 1995, IN TAMPA BAY, FLORIDA, WHILE ANSWERING QUESTIONS FOLLOWING A SPEECH, A REPORTER BROUGHT UP THE 26-YEAR-OLD QUESTION ABOUT Mr. GORSKY TO ARMSTRONG.


THIS TIME HE FINALLY RESPONDED BECAUSE HIS MR. GORSKY HAD JUST DIED, SO NEIL ARMSTRONG FELT HE COULD NOW ANSWER THE QUESTION. HERE IS THE ANSWER TO


"WHO WAS MR. GORSKY":


IN 1938, WHEN HE WAS A KID IN A SMALL MID-WESTERN TOWN, HE WAS PLAYING BASEBALL WITH A FRIEND IN THE BACKYARD.


HIS FRIEND HIT THE BALL, WHICH LANDED IN HIS NEIGHBOR'S YARD BY THEIR BEDROOM WINDOW.  HIS NEIGHBORS WERE MR. AND MRS. GORSKY.


AS HE LEANED DOWN TO PICK UP THE BALL, YOUNG ARMSTRONG HEARD MRS. GORSKY SHOUTING AT MR. GORSKY,


"SEX! YOU WANT SEX?! YOU'LL GET SEX WHEN THE KID NEXT DOOR WALKS ON THE MOON!"


IT BROKE THE PLACE UP. 


NEIL ARMSTRONG'S FAMILY CONFIRMED THAT THIS IS A TRUE STORY.


Jeffery S, Dec 10, 2018 @ 08:54
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Re: Friday Funny on Friday
Post 3

Funny but - unfortunately - untrue:


https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/good-luck-mr-gorsky/


Sorry for being a spoilsport! Laughing

The text you are quoting:

Funny but - unfortunately - untrue:


https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/good-luck-mr-gorsky/


Sorry for being a spoilsport! Laughing


TheOmegaMan, Dec 10, 2018 @ 17:22
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Post 4

dont't you just hate that !!!...aghh well..

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dont't you just hate that !!!...aghh well..


Jeffery S, Dec 10, 2018 @ 19:14
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Re: Friday Funny on Friday
Post 5

dont't you just hate that !!!...aghh well..


Dec 10, 18 19:14

Yes............

The text you are quoting:

Yes............


sheila c, Dec 11, 2018 @ 14:06
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Re: Friday Funny on Friday
Post 6
Jenny Craig Program for Men I asked my doctor for a way to take some weight off, and he suggested the Jenny Craig program for men.  I called the company and ordered their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before me a voluptuous, athletic, 19-year-old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, “If you can catch me, you can have me.” Without a second thought, I took off after her. A few miles later, huffing and puffing, I finally gave up. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, I weighed myself and am delighted to find that I had lost 10 lbs. As promised. I called the company and ordered their 5-day/20 pound program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman I have ever seen in my life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, “If you catch me you can have me”. Well, I'm out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and I do my best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens and I'm gradually getting in better and better shape. Much to my delight on the fifth day when I weigh myself, I discover that I have lost another 20 lbs. As promised. So I decide to go for broke and called the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program. "Are you sure?" asks the representative. "This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," I reply, "I haven't felt this good in years." The next day there's a knock at the door; and when I open it I find a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes, and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, you're mine." I lost 63 pounds that week.     hope you are both watching Ritchie and Jeffrey....
Dec 7, 18 15:51

Seriously???????


You really think there is room on this planet (never mind glocals) for degrading, mysoginist, homophobic, sexist posts like this?  I was going to write "jokes like this" but I can't see any humour in any of this.


Bring on the haters, but I'd rather bring on love and respect.

The text you are quoting:

Seriously???????


You really think there is room on this planet (never mind glocals) for degrading, mysoginist, homophobic, sexist posts like this?  I was going to write "jokes like this" but I can't see any humour in any of this.


Bring on the haters, but I'd rather bring on love and respect.


Carolyn C, Dec 11, 2018 @ 20:00
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Re: Friday Funny on Friday
Post 7

Funny but - unfortunately - untrue:

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/good-luck-mr-gorsky/

Sorry for being a spoilsport! Laughing


Dec 10, 18 17:22

Not a millenial snowflake by ANY stretch of the imagination, but I find this entire thread about as funny as a 1970's racist, sexist, degrading, Benny Hill sketch.

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Not a millenial snowflake by ANY stretch of the imagination, but I find this entire thread about as funny as a 1970's racist, sexist, degrading, Benny Hill sketch.


Carolyn C, Dec 11, 2018 @ 20:08
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Re: Friday Funny on Friday
Post 8

i really really hope you are taking the p.... Carolyn 


 

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i really really hope you are taking the p.... Carolyn 


 


Jeffery S, Dec 11, 2018 @ 20:55
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