G.

This pic should be...Arriving in Geneva, and leaving Geneva....

Two hundred years ago a trapper exploring the America continent met a native American. He was invited beck to the mans lodge where he was introduced to his wife.

"This my wife, she called Five Horses," he said.

The trapper exclaims "That is a beautiful name, full of power and grace. How did she get such a name?"

The Indian replied "F*cking nag, nag, nag, nag, nag!!!"

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a Dane, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Slovak, an Australian, an Egyptian, a New Zealander, a Japanese, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Uzbek, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, a Venezuelan, an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Israeli, an Estonian, a Brazilian, a Liechtensteiner, a Moldovan, a Syrian, an Aruban, a Mongolian, a Portuguese, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Cook
Islander, a Norfolk Islander, a Haitian, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Tajikistani, an Armenian, an Albanian, a Samoan, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Belarusian, a Qatari, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Canadian, a Cuban, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Kyrgyzstani, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman,
an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Bulgarian, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and two Africans walk into a fine restaurant.















"I'm sorry," says the maître d', "but you can't come in here without a Thai."

A patient says, "Doctor, last night I made a Freudian slip. I was having dinner with my mother-in-law and wanted to say: 'Could you please pass the butter?' But instead I said: 'You silly cow, you have completely ruined my life."

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

When Im out picking up women I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. I see a woman with a tattoo, and I’m thinking, okay, here’s a gal who’s capable of making a decision she’ll regret in the future... 

Two snowmen are standing in a meadow. One snowman turns to the other and says, "Do you smell carrots?"

How many hippies (or Genevois?) does it take to screw in a light bulb??

50. 1 to hold the bulb and 49 to smoke enough pot for the room to spin.

Whats the difference between light and hard?

You can sleep with a light on. 

My friend went to see Batman with a girl on their 9th date. Their dating can be summarised as: dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner BATMAN.

I had a blind date last night. Her name was :. .:: :.: .:. .::.

Whats an Australian Kiss ? 

The same as a french kiss , but down under ;) 

you forgot about his religious uncle ------------------- Sinna Gogh

How can you tell if you're a redneck?

Your family tree goes in

OK Heres a funny for you, bit of a long read, but worth it. 

Hair removal 101...God love the woman who shared this!!!!

All hair removal methods have tricked us with their promises of easy,
painless removal - The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax. My
night began as any other normal weekday night. Come home fix dinner, played
with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind
for the next few hours: Maybe I should pull the wax out of the medicine
cabinet. So I headed to the site of my demise; the bathroom. It was one of
those cold wax kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips
together in your hand and then they get warm and you peel them apart press
it to your leg (or wherever else) and hair comes right off. No muss, no
fuss. How hard can it be? I mean I'm no girly, girl but I am mechanically
inclined enough that I can figure it out. *YA THINK!!!*

So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck
together. Instead of rubbing them together, I get out the hair dryer and
heat it to 1000 degrees. Cold wax my rear end (Oh how this phrase haunts
me!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and
pull. OK so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do
this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-ra, fighter of all wayward
body hair and smooth skin extraordinaire. With my next wax strip I move
north. After checking on the kids I sneak back into the bathroom, for the
ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on
the toilet. Using the same procedure I apply the was strip across the right
side of bikini line, covering the right half of my vagina and stretching
down to the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long strip) I inhale
deeply and brace myself. RRRRIIIPPP!!!! I'm blind!!! Blinded from
pain!!!!....OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!! Vision returning, I notice that I've only
managed to pull off half of the strip. S&%T!!! Another deep breath and
RRIIPP. Everything is swirly and spotted. Do I hear crashing drums??? OK,
back to normal. I want to see my trophy - A wax covered strip with my hairy
pelt, that has caused me so much pain, sticking to it. I want to revel in
the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no
hair on it. Where is the hair. WHERE IS THE WAX??? Slowly I ease my head
down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair..The hair that should
be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax. S&%T I run my fingers over the
most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted
hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake...................remember my foot is
still propped up on the toilet. I know I need to do something. So I put my
foot down. NOOOOO!!!!!!!! I hear the slamming of the cell door. Vagina? Sealed
shut. Butt?? Sealed shut. I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to
figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge
to poop. My head may pop off" Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the
hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax covered
bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off right???
*WRONG!!!!!!!*I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than then that
used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.
Now, the only thing worse that having your nether businesses glued together
is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub. In
scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax. So, now I'm
stuck to the bottom of the tub!! God bless the man that convinced me I
should have a phone in the bathroom!!!!! I call my friend thinking surely
she's waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very
good conversation starter "So, my butt and who-ha are stuck to the bottom of
the tub!" There is a slight pause. She doesn't have a secret trick but does
try to hide the laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is
located on bottom "Are we talking cheeks or hole or what?" She's laughing
out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I
call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the
joke of someone else's night. While we go through various solutions. I
resort to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to
have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in
super hot water and then dry shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain
is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I slip into glazed donut
land. My friend is still talking with me and my hand reaches towards the
saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I
really have to lose at this point. I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!! The
scream probably woke the kids, scared the dickens out of my friend, but I
really don't care. "IT WORKS!! It works!! I get a hearty congratulation from
my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax
and then notice to my grief and despair..................................THE
HA IR IS STILL THERE.......................ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. So I
shaved it off. Heck, I'm numb at this point. Next week I'm going to try hair

color......