You prefer Experience with Guys or Seduction with Gals ? Well, Scroll down

An old age pensioner bought two cases of beer on sale at the supermarket. He placed them on the front seat of his car and headed back home.

He stopped at a service station where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde was filling up
her car at the next pump. Although it was very cold she was wearing a very short
skirt and a light jacket which was wide open.

She glanced at the beer, bent over and knocked on the passenger window.

With her bra-less breasts almost falling out her skimpy top she said, in a sexy voice,

"I'm a big believer in barter, old fella. Would you be interested in trading sex for beer?"

He thought for a few seconds and asked, "What kind of beer ya got?"

He da man !!! excellent

Forget taking Bessie along on your ride !!! For those who worry,                                 I am fine...

A farmer named Paddy had a car accident. He was hit by a truck owned by the Eversweet Company.
In court, the Eversweet Company's hot-shot solicitor was questioning Paddy.
 
'Didn't you say to the police at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?' asked the solicitor.
Paddy responded: 'Well, I'll tell you what happened. I'd just loaded my fav'rit cow, Bessie, into da... '
 
'I didn't ask for any details', the  solicitor interrupted. 'Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?'

Paddy said, 'Well,  I'd just got Bessie into da trailer and I was  drivin' down da road...'
 
The solicitor interrupted again and said,'Your  Honour, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene  of the accident, this man told the police on the scene that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident, he is  trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please  tell him to simply answer the question. '

By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Paddy's answer and said to the solicitor: 'I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favourite cow, Bessie'. Paddy thanked the Judge and proceeded.

'Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my fav'rit cow, into de trailer and was drivin' her down de road when this huge Eversweet truck and trailer came tundering tru a stop sign and hit me trailer right in da side. I was trown into one ditch and Bessie was trown into da udder. I was hurt, very bad like, and didn't want to move. However, I could hear old Bessie moanin' and groanin'. I knew she was in terrible pain just by her groans.

Shortly after da accident, a policeman on a motorbike turned up. He could hear Bessie moanin' and groanin' too, so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.

Den da policeman came across de road, gun still in hand, looked at me, and said, 'How are you feelin'?'

'Now wot would you say?