No not away Sheila...Mr Gates I think decided to make my 'Good' Friday a disaster in that one of his updates rendered my PC unusable....after having to reinstall an entire operating system and the normal problems associated with that...here i am again... with a couple of laughs (I hope)

Vladimir Putin, wanting to get on the good side of voters, goes to visit a 
> university in Moscow to have a chat with the students. He talks to them 
> about how powerful a nation Russia and how he wants the best for all the people.
> At the end of the talk there is a section for questions. Sasha puts her hand up and says "I have two questions" "Why did the Russians take Crimea? And why are we sending troops to the Ukraine?" Putin says "Good questions". 
> But just as he is about to answer, the bell goes, and the students go to lunch.
> When they come back, they sit back down and there is room for some more questions, another girl, Misha, puts her hand up and says "I have Four questions"
> "My Questions are - Why did the Russians invade Crimea? Why are we sending 
> troops to the Ukraine? Why did the lunch bell go 20 minutes early? And 
> Where is Sasha?"

A priest and a rabbi were sitting in adjacent seats on an airplane.  After a while the priest turned to the rabbi and asked, "Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?"

The rabbi responded, "Yes, that is still one of our laws."

 The priest then asked, "Have you ever eaten pork?"

 "Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and ate a bacon sandwich."

 The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading.

 A while later the rabbi spoke up and asked, "Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?"

 The priest replied, "Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith."

 The rabbi then asked him, "Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?"

 The priest replied, "Yes, Rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke the pledge of my faith."

 The rabbi nodded understandingly and remained silent for several minutes.

 Finally the rabbi quietly observed, "Beats a bacon sandwich, doesn't it?"