A friend of mine recently sent a joke to me-heartfelt,in her case,that goes something like this:
A woman needs a man who can make her laugh and stimulate her intellectually,,a man who can more than meet her sexual needs and a man who is kind and caring and will listen to her.
The trick is,she must make sure than none of these men ever find out about the existence of the others!!!
Some men have hareems,others have their phone book....maybe it's time for women to take a similar tack?
A friend of mine recently sent a joke to me-heartfelt,in her case,that goes something like this:
A woman needs a man who can make her laugh and stimulate her intellectually,,a man who can more than meet her sexual needs and a man who is kind and caring and will listen to her.
The trick is,she must make sure than none of these men ever find out about the existence of the others!!!
Some men have hareems,others have their phone book....maybe it's time for women to take a similar tack?
mmm...
When Gog created woman, he told her he "would put a good man in every corner of the earth for her".
Then he made the earth round......
:-))
mmm...
When Gog created woman, he told her he "would put a good man in every corner of the earth for her".
Then he made the earth round......
:-))
This is actually an interesting thread.
Having observed our "human" reactions and behaviours, I have come to a conclusion and agree with the author Paolo Coelho saying "May we understand that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself".
In other words, we see a lot of men (some women too) having a harem and/or women (and men too) shutting their doors to relationships to maybe eventually find someone good for them. From what I can feel, have experienced and know from personal life or from closer/or not closer people, it feels that sometimes, a person with a broken heart (we all had a broken heart at least once in our life) might not want to suffer and feel so much pain ever again. Those men who seem to be so strong and so easily build a harem are not obvsioulsy the strongest ones. I actually even feel they actually show their human weakness and fear of attachment - nothing wrong with taking a break to find yourself again. Women not wanting to date not wanting to suffer again too. No one wants to feel the same pain and therefore chooses to act in a way so they do not feel "crucified" by another heartbreak.
How about taking the best from each experience. I wouldn't judge someone who sleeps around (there is always a reason behind a behaviour), anyone can do that but how about not hurting yourself again as one day, even if you sleep around, you never know... that one person you play with - you might fall in love with him/her... but you would choose to loose someone again just because you originally already had the fear of loosing her/him.
So my answer would be: why not, as long as you still allow your heart to beat and you are not suffocating it. Paolo Coelho also says : " do not allow your wounds to transform into someone you are not"
This is actually an interesting thread.
Having observed our "human" reactions and behaviours, I have come to a conclusion and agree with the author Paolo Coelho saying "May we understand that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself".
In other words, we see a lot of men (some women too) having a harem and/or women (and men too) shutting their doors to relationships to maybe eventually find someone good for them. From what I can feel, have experienced and know from personal life or from closer/or not closer people, it feels that sometimes, a person with a broken heart (we all had a broken heart at least once in our life) might not want to suffer and feel so much pain ever again. Those men who seem to be so strong and so easily build a harem are not obvsioulsy the strongest ones. I actually even feel they actually show their human weakness and fear of attachment - nothing wrong with taking a break to find yourself again. Women not wanting to date not wanting to suffer again too. No one wants to feel the same pain and therefore chooses to act in a way so they do not feel "crucified" by another heartbreak.
How about taking the best from each experience. I wouldn't judge someone who sleeps around (there is always a reason behind a behaviour), anyone can do that but how about not hurting yourself again as one day, even if you sleep around, you never know... that one person you play with - you might fall in love with him/her... but you would choose to loose someone again just because you originally already had the fear of loosing her/him.
So my answer would be: why not, as long as you still allow your heart to beat and you are not suffocating it. Paolo Coelho also says : " do not allow your wounds to transform into someone you are not"
Too easy Charlie, life would be too boring and you would end up reading a thread about people complaining it is too simple ;o) ?
Too easy Charlie, life would be too boring and you would end up reading a thread about people complaining it is too simple ;o) ?
mmm...
When Gog created woman, he told her he "would put a good man in every corner of the earth for her".
Then he made the earth round......
:-))
I don't believe in God, but your explaination seems to make sense... somehow!!
I don't believe in God, but your explaination seems to make sense... somehow!!
I see at least three issues here: men, the men you meet and your needs 
your english is just fine...please carry on elaborating
It is always possible to find a partner who can fulfill those 3 needs, it's a question of mathematical probability. I don't believe in one soul mate. We come accross a certain number of good matches in our lives directly in proportion to the number of people we meet. Then the trick is timing and availability... those good matches might not be in the appropriate time of their lives, going through some difficulties maybe, in some cases being already involved with a partner or focused on their careers or as Marieh mentioned too afraid to let themselves go... then I also believe some people aren't cut for love for various reasons like a lack of confidence or generosity (not at all in the materialistic sense)... hence the difficulties more and more encountered in the quest of the happy match...
Thus why not fulfilling those needs with different people...
"The trick is, she must make sure than none of these men ever find out about the existence of the others!!"
However, I don't find it sustainable to live in the constant lie that a double or triple life implies. It's hard to manage, terribly time consuming - I can't imagine having a full time job and the capacity to deal with 3 relationships plus all the things a balanced life usually requires... friends, culture, sport, etc... - and a source of multiple headaches whereas for me simple things are a source of peace and serenity that my personal balance and happiness rely on... not to mention that trust is the basis to build any kind of human relationship...
I think it is possible though to find laughter, complicity, intellectual stimulation, attention and care with friends and family that's and why I find it essential to invest time to develop and maintain the closeness of these relationships.
Regarding the last need but not least… sex… I think it is totally acceptable – not to call it healthy – to have a sex partner, lover, buddy however you want to call it to share passionate mind-blowing sex… it might develop at some point into something else both are happy with or both finally move on to something new or more fulfilling… but mind-blowing sex is not easy to find either... it might be safe to take a test drive first before buying it...
“Some men have hareems, others have their phone book....maybe it's time for women to take a similar tack?”
Ok as women it is good to know we have the freedom to do as men but do we really want to do everything like them? The best approach is personal. It’s good to know ourselves, our boundaries and just do whatever makes us feel happy. When we have the freedom, then everything is possible and that only feeling is great...
It is always possible to find a partner who can fulfill those 3 needs, it's a question of mathematical probability. I don't believe in one soul mate. We come accross a certain number of good matches in our lives directly in proportion to the number of people we meet. Then the trick is timing and availability... those good matches might not be in the appropriate time of their lives, going through some difficulties maybe, in some cases being already involved with a partner or focused on their careers or as Marieh mentioned too afraid to let themselves go... then I also believe some people aren't cut for love for various reasons like a lack of confidence or generosity (not at all in the materialistic sense)... hence the difficulties more and more encountered in the quest of the happy match...
Thus why not fulfilling those needs with different people...
"The trick is, she must make sure than none of these men ever find out about the existence of the others!!"
However, I don't find it sustainable to live in the constant lie that a double or triple life implies. It's hard to manage, terribly time consuming - I can't imagine having a full time job and the capacity to deal with 3 relationships plus all the things a balanced life usually requires... friends, culture, sport, etc... - and a source of multiple headaches whereas for me simple things are a source of peace and serenity that my personal balance and happiness rely on... not to mention that trust is the basis to build any kind of human relationship...
I think it is possible though to find laughter, complicity, intellectual stimulation, attention and care with friends and family that's and why I find it essential to invest time to develop and maintain the closeness of these relationships.
Regarding the last need but not least… sex… I think it is totally acceptable – not to call it healthy – to have a sex partner, lover, buddy however you want to call it to share passionate mind-blowing sex… it might develop at some point into something else both are happy with or both finally move on to something new or more fulfilling… but mind-blowing sex is not easy to find either... it might be safe to take a test drive first before buying it...
“Some men have hareems, others have their phone book....maybe it's time for women to take a similar tack?”
Ok as women it is good to know we have the freedom to do as men but do we really want to do everything like them? The best approach is personal. It’s good to know ourselves, our boundaries and just do whatever makes us feel happy. When we have the freedom, then everything is possible and that only feeling is great...
your english is just fine...please carry on elaborating
Ha ha - cheeky!!
Maybe Charlie should explain this one.....
Charlie would never do such a thing.
Grace, your comments are very sweet and enlightening, I wont elaborate further, since I fear my words might be lost in translation.
Maybe a more complete explanation on the nuances of the words "felt" would be better coming from a female on an open forum, so my comments are not mis-construed.
Grace, your comments are very sweet and enlightening, I wont elaborate further, since I fear my words might be lost in translation.
Maybe a more complete explanation on the nuances of the words "felt" would be better coming from a female on an open forum, so my comments are not mis-construed.
Wrong approach! And quite typical of people who have only one word in their mouth: ME - ME - ME! One does not FIND a relation, one CREATES or FORMS a relation and if you only look for a man who can fulfill your needs, this is quite unlikely to happen.
RELATION: The manner in which two things (or two people) may be associated.
Wrong approach! And quite typical of people who have only one word in their mouth: ME - ME - ME! One does not FIND a relation, one CREATES or FORMS a relation and if you only look for a man who can fulfill your needs, this is quite unlikely to happen.
RELATION: The manner in which two things (or two people) may be associated.
Wrong approach! And quite typical of people who have only one word in their mouth: ME - ME - ME! One does not FIND a relation, one CREATES or FORMS a relation and if you only look for a man who can fulfill your needs, this is quite unlikely to happen.
RELATION: The manner in which two things (or two people) may be associated.
Grace, your comments are very sweet and enlightening, I wont elaborate further, since I fear my words might be lost in translation.
Maybe a more complete explanation on the nuances of the words "felt" would be better coming from a female on an open forum, so my comments are not mis-construed.
Ha ha -what a cop out (yet so eloquently worded - and,blimey,really sophisticated compared so some of your more.....direct...comments on the forums of old
)
Ha ha -what a cop out (yet so eloquently worded - and,blimey,really sophisticated compared so some of your more.....direct...comments on the forums of old)
Wrong approach! And quite typical of people who have only one word in their mouth: ME - ME - ME! One does not FIND a relation, one CREATES or FORMS a relation and if you only look for a man who can fulfill your needs, this is quite unlikely to happen.
RELATION: The manner in which two things (or two people) may be associated.
Oh dear-it was just a light-hearted comment !!!!!!!!!
All the things you say are deemed to be already understood(most thinking people know it takes two etc etc etc)
Lighten-up
Oh dear-it was just a light-hearted comment !!!!!!!!!
All the things you say are deemed to be already understood(most thinking people know it takes two etc etc etc)
Lighten-up
Ha ha -what a cop out (yet so eloquently worded - and,blimey,really sophisticated compared so some of your more.....direct...comments on the forums of old)
I can be sophisticated when i want to be...albeit seldom do I get the urge. :-)
I can be sophisticated when i want to be...albeit seldom do I get the urge. :-)
Wrong approach! And quite typical of people who have only one word in their mouth: ME - ME - ME! One does not FIND a relation, one CREATES or FORMS a relation and if you only look for a man who can fulfill your needs, this is quite unlikely to happen.
RELATION: The manner in which two things (or two people) may be associated.
Wrong approach! And quite typical of people who have only one word in their mouth: ME - ME - ME! One does not FIND a relation, one CREATES or FORMS a relation and if you only look for a man who can fulfill your needs, this is quite unlikely to happen.
RELATION: The manner in which two things (or two people) may be associated.
Oh dear-it was just a light-hearted comment !!!!!!!!!
All the things you say are deemed to be already understood(most thinking people know it takes two etc etc etc)
Lighten-up
There's a long way from knowing to understanding, and an even longer one from understanding to practicing
There's a long way from knowing to understanding, and an even longer one from understanding to practicing
@JR M: I assume you understand that wanting a companion who is there to support you is a display of selfishness only if one does not reciprocate. On the other hand, if you are completely altruistic, and your companion does not meet your needs, the relationship you create will be unsustainable.
I'd rather be able to support myself and share that with a companion than expect her to support me for the very simple reason that, if she happens to disappear for whatever reason, I'd be left alone in an existential void without knowing my way out. In other words, I'd rather share my self sustainability than my dependance. That in mind, yes, I agree with you.
@JR M: I assume you understand that wanting a companion who is there to support you is a display of selfishness only if one does not reciprocate. On the other hand, if you are completely altruistic, and your companion does not meet your needs, the relationship you create will be unsustainable.
I'd rather be able to support myself and share that with a companion than expect her to support me for the very simple reason that, if she happens to disappear for whatever reason, I'd be left alone in an existential void without knowing my way out. In other words, I'd rather share my self sustainability than my dependance. That in mind, yes, I agree with you.
Ah, to quote the oft used waggish toast;
"To wives and girl friends - May they never meet!"
Mike
Ah, to quote the oft used waggish toast;
"To wives and girl friends - May they never meet!"
Mike
A friend of mine recently sent a joke to me-heartfelt,in her case,that goes something like this:
A woman needs a man who can make her laugh and stimulate her intellectually,,a man who can more than meet her sexual needs and a man who is kind and caring and will listen to her.
The trick is,she must make sure than none of these men ever find out about the existence of the others!!!
Some men have hareems,others have their phone book....maybe it's time for women to take a similar tack?
Here's how us men understand this joke:
A woman needs a man who can make her laugh and stimulate her intellectually,,a man who can more than meet her sexual needs and a man who is kind and caring and will listen to her.
Once she's found this mythical man (who'd still require a bit of fine tuning), she needs just a couple more. 
Here's how us men understand this joke:
A woman needs a man who can make her laugh and stimulate her intellectually,,a man who can more than meet her sexual needs and a man who is kind and caring and will listen to her.
Once she's found this mythical man (who'd still require a bit of fine tuning), she needs just a couple more.
brilliant!!!
ha ha - well said Grace q. Good for you!!!
I rekon your English is much better than you claim.........
Oh.....Kaaay.Charlie,take note.
@JR M: I assume you understand that wanting a companion who is there to support you is a display of selfishness only if one does not reciprocate. On the other hand, if you are completely altruistic, and your companion does not meet your needs, the relationship you create will be unsustainable.
I'd rather be able to support myself and share that with a companion than expect her to support me for the very simple reason that, if she happens to disappear for whatever reason, I'd be left alone in an existential void without knowing my way out. In other words, I'd rather share my self sustainability than my dependance. That in mind, yes, I agree with you.
Dare to need...
A friend of mine recently sent a joke to me-heartfelt,in her case,that goes something like this:
A woman needs a man who can make her laugh and stimulate her intellectually,,a man who can more than meet her sexual needs and a man who is kind and caring and will listen to her.
The trick is,she must make sure than none of these men ever find out about the existence of the others!!!
Some men have hareems,others have their phone book....maybe it's time for women to take a similar tack?
The more I think about it the more I like the idea!
In fact there are not so many men who can make you laugh AND stimulate intellectually AND AND... Ok, maybe Charlie could (at least for the jokes. The rest I can not tell).
No seriously: As Izzie already mentioned it's good to have a bunch of friends as it is difficult for the ONE to fulfill all this individual needs. Maybe that's why I feel constantly under pressure
Ok if there is superwoman/man out there please drop a line. I might change my mind.
The more I think about it the more I like the idea!
In fact there are not so many men who can make you laugh AND stimulate intellectually AND AND... Ok, maybe Charlie could (at least for the jokes. The rest I can not tell).
No seriously: As Izzie already mentioned it's good to have a bunch of friends as it is difficult for the ONE to fulfill all this individual needs. Maybe that's why I feel constantly under pressure
Ok if there is superwoman/man out there please drop a line. I might change my mind.
Hayes?
The more I think about it the more I like the idea!
In fact there are not so many men who can make you laugh AND stimulate intellectually AND AND... Ok, maybe Charlie could (at least for the jokes. The rest I can not tell).
No seriously: As Izzie already mentioned it's good to have a bunch of friends as it is difficult for the ONE to fulfill all this individual needs. Maybe that's why I feel constantly under pressure
Ok if there is superwoman/man out there please drop a line. I might change my mind.
We are a friendly community 
Hayes?
My money's on Keith P...
This looks pretty relevant. Dating Market value for men :)
What number are you ?
http://heartiste.wordpress.com/dating-market-value-test-for-men/
This looks pretty relevant. Dating Market value for men :)
What number are you ?
http://heartiste.wordpress.com/dating-market-value-test-for-men/
My money's on Keith P...
Has Keith P disappeared? 
Has Keith P disappeared?
He's very quiet these days isn't he? Maybe he's used his Wonder Twin powers to assume the shape of a 40 year old Chinese Student. 
But then, as Grace has mentioned she loves meeting people, I guess she'll make an appearance very soon at several events proving that I'm completely wrong.
He's very quiet these days isn't he? Maybe he's used his Wonder Twin powers to assume the shape of a 40 year old Chinese Student.
But then, as Grace has mentioned she loves meeting people, I guess she'll make an appearance very soon at several events proving that I'm completely wrong.
The more I think about it the more I like the idea!
In fact there are not so many men who can make you laugh AND stimulate intellectually AND AND... Ok, maybe Charlie could (at least for the jokes. The rest I can not tell).
No seriously: As Izzie already mentioned it's good to have a bunch of friends as it is difficult for the ONE to fulfill all this individual needs. Maybe that's why I feel constantly under pressure
Ok if there is superwoman/man out there please drop a line. I might change my mind.
i can "feel" the love.....
i can "feel" the love.....
Deep inside you?
Is there an actual medical term for your condition?
Btw, it was obvious it was you from the start. Especially a 'jernalist' who couldn't spell for toffee!
Peace out.
Is there an actual medical term for your condition?
Btw, it was obvious it was you from the start. Especially a 'jernalist' who couldn't spell for toffee!
Peace out.
your postings?
who the fuck are you'
Hey! You left this one out:
Malignant narcissism - precisely.
i can "feel" the love.....
You can even stimulate intellectually!
your postings?
who the fuck are you'
It's Keith P as his troll, Grant R with two laptops open, conducting a conversation with himself as Grace Q.
Now what's strange about that?
It's Keith P as his troll, Grant R with two laptops open, conducting a conversation with himself as Grace Q.
Now what's strange about that?
Hi folks,
I removed the accounts of Grant Keith & Grace.
Our experience with trolls is that they'll come back a few more times before moving on to greener pastures so please let me know if you recognize them again.
Thanks and sorry these guys chose to watse your time.
Oded
Hi folks,
I removed the accounts of Grant Keith & Grace.
Our experience with trolls is that they'll come back a few more times before moving on to greener pastures so please let me know if you recognize them again.
Thanks and sorry these guys chose to watse your time.
Oded
Is there an actual medical term for your condition?
Btw, it was obvious it was you from the start. Especially a 'jernalist' who couldn't spell for toffee!
Peace out.
Luvvit!
