Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom.
The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question.
Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.
The question?....What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.
He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise
men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a
satisfactory answer. Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she e
would have the answer. But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout
the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged. The last day of the year arrived and
Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he
would have to agree to her price first.
The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round
Table and Arthur's closest friend! Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked
and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc.
He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life. He refused to force
his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning of the
proposal, spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to
Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table.
Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur's question thus:
What a woman really wants, she answered....is to be in charge of her own life.
Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and
that Arthur's life would be spared.
And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot
and the witch had a wonderful wedding. The honeymoon hour approached and
Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a
sight awaited him.
The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded
Lancelot asked what had happened The beauty replied that since he had been so kind
to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth, be her horrible deformed
self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half. Which would he prefer?
Beautiful during the day....or night?
Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to
his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch? Or, would he prefer
having a hideous witch during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to
enjoy wondrous intimate moments?
What would YOU do?
What Lancelot chose is below. BUT....make YOUR choice before you scroll down
below. OKAY?
x
x
x
x
x
x
x
x
Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself. Upon
hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because
he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.
Now....what is the moral to this story? Scroll down.
x
x
x
x
x
x
x
x
The moral is.....If you don't let a woman have her own way....Things are going to get ugly!
Global Forums > General > Humor - King Arthur and the Witch
Only members can see names and photos
Humor - King Arthur and the Witch
Aug 15, 2008 @ 20:45
The text you are quoting:
Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom.
The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question.
Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.
The question?....What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.
He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise
men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a
satisfactory answer. Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she e
would have the answer. But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout
the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged. The last day of the year arrived and
Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he
would have to agree to her price first.
The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round
Table and Arthur's closest friend! Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked
and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc.
He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life. He refused to force
his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning of the
proposal, spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to
Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table.
Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur's question thus:
What a woman really wants, she answered....is to be in charge of her own life.
Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and
that Arthur's life would be spared.
And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot
and the witch had a wonderful wedding. The honeymoon hour approached and
Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a
sight awaited him.
The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded
Lancelot asked what had happened The beauty replied that since he had been so kind
to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth, be her horrible deformed
self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half. Which would he prefer?
Beautiful during the day....or night?
Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to
his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch? Or, would he prefer
having a hideous witch during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to
enjoy wondrous intimate moments?
What would YOU do?
What Lancelot chose is below. BUT....make YOUR choice before you scroll down
below. OKAY?
x
x
x
x
x
x
x
x
Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself. Upon
hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because
he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.
Now....what is the moral to this story? Scroll down.
x
x
x
x
x
x
x
x
The moral is.....If you don't let a woman have her own way....Things are going to get ugly!
VerbierAug 15, 2008 @ 20:45
The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question.
Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.
The question?....What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.
He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise
men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a
satisfactory answer. Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she e
would have the answer. But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout
the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged. The last day of the year arrived and
Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he
would have to agree to her price first.
The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round
Table and Arthur's closest friend! Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked
and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc.
He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life. He refused to force
his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning of the
proposal, spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to
Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table.
Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur's question thus:
What a woman really wants, she answered....is to be in charge of her own life.
Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and
that Arthur's life would be spared.
And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot
and the witch had a wonderful wedding. The honeymoon hour approached and
Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a
sight awaited him.
The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded
Lancelot asked what had happened The beauty replied that since he had been so kind
to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth, be her horrible deformed
self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half. Which would he prefer?
Beautiful during the day....or night?
Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to
his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch? Or, would he prefer
having a hideous witch during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to
enjoy wondrous intimate moments?
What would YOU do?
What Lancelot chose is below. BUT....make YOUR choice before you scroll down
below. OKAY?
x
x
x
x
x
x
x
x
Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself. Upon
hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because
he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.
Now....what is the moral to this story? Scroll down.
x
x
x
x
x
x
x
x
The moral is.....If you don't let a woman have her own way....Things are going to get ugly!
VerbierAug 15, 2008 @ 20:45
Your Reply:
Only members can see names and photos
Re: Humor - King Arthur and the Witch
Post 1
Aug 16, 2008 @ 08:50
Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves.
They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.
And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: 'Roger, do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?'
And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.
And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months.
And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward...I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?
And Roger is thinking:...so that means it was...let's see...February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means...lemme check the odometer...Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here...
And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed -- even before I sensed it - that I was feeling some reservations.
Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.
And Roger is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a goddamn garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.
And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. God, I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.
And Roger is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90- day warranty. That's exactly what they're gonna say, the scumballs.
And Elaine is thinking: maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, school girl romantic fantasy.
And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty I'll give them a damn warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their....
'Roger,' Elaine says aloud.
'What?' asks Roger, startled.
'Please don't torture yourself like this,' she says, her eye beginning to brim with tears. 'Maybe I should never have . .Oh God, I feel so.....'
(She breaks down, sobbing.)
'What?' says Roger, totally perplexed.
'I'm such a fool,' Elaine sobs. 'I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse.'
'There's no horse?' says Roger.
'You think I'm a fool, don't you?' Elaine says.
'No!' says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer.
'It's just that...It's that I...I need some time,' Elaine says.
(There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)
'Yes,' he says.
(Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.)
'Oh, Roger, do you really feel that way?' she says.
'What way?' says Roger.
'That way about time,' says Elaine.
'Oh,' says Roger. Still hoping he's on the right track he responds,' Yes.'
(Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)
'Thank you, Roger,' Elaine says.
'Thank you,' says Roger.
Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn.
Whereas when Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it.
(This is also Roger's policy regarding world hunger.)
The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either.
Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Elaine's, will pause just before serving, frown, and ask:
'Norm, did Elaine ever own a horse?'
They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.
And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: 'Roger, do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?'
And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.
And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months.
And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward...I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?
And Roger is thinking:...so that means it was...let's see...February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means...lemme check the odometer...Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here...
And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed -- even before I sensed it - that I was feeling some reservations.
Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.
And Roger is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a goddamn garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.
And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. God, I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.
And Roger is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90- day warranty. That's exactly what they're gonna say, the scumballs.
And Elaine is thinking: maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, school girl romantic fantasy.
And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty I'll give them a damn warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their....
'Roger,' Elaine says aloud.
'What?' asks Roger, startled.
'Please don't torture yourself like this,' she says, her eye beginning to brim with tears. 'Maybe I should never have . .Oh God, I feel so.....'
(She breaks down, sobbing.)
'What?' says Roger, totally perplexed.
'I'm such a fool,' Elaine sobs. 'I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse.'
'There's no horse?' says Roger.
'You think I'm a fool, don't you?' Elaine says.
'No!' says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer.
'It's just that...It's that I...I need some time,' Elaine says.
(There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)
'Yes,' he says.
(Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.)
'Oh, Roger, do you really feel that way?' she says.
'What way?' says Roger.
'That way about time,' says Elaine.
'Oh,' says Roger. Still hoping he's on the right track he responds,' Yes.'
(Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)
'Thank you, Roger,' Elaine says.
'Thank you,' says Roger.
Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn.
Whereas when Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it.
(This is also Roger's policy regarding world hunger.)
The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either.
Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Elaine's, will pause just before serving, frown, and ask:
'Norm, did Elaine ever own a horse?'
The text you are quoting:
Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves.
They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.
And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: 'Roger, do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?'
And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.
And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months.
And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward...I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?
And Roger is thinking:...so that means it was...let's see...February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means...lemme check the odometer...Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here...
And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed -- even before I sensed it - that I was feeling some reservations.
Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.
And Roger is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a goddamn garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.
And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. God, I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.
And Roger is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90- day warranty. That's exactly what they're gonna say, the scumballs.
And Elaine is thinking: maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, school girl romantic fantasy.
And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty I'll give them a damn warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their....
'Roger,' Elaine says aloud.
'What?' asks Roger, startled.
'Please don't torture yourself like this,' she says, her eye beginning to brim with tears. 'Maybe I should never have . .Oh God, I feel so.....'
(She breaks down, sobbing.)
'What?' says Roger, totally perplexed.
'I'm such a fool,' Elaine sobs. 'I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse.'
'There's no horse?' says Roger.
'You think I'm a fool, don't you?' Elaine says.
'No!' says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer.
'It's just that...It's that I...I need some time,' Elaine says.
(There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)
'Yes,' he says.
(Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.)
'Oh, Roger, do you really feel that way?' she says.
'What way?' says Roger.
'That way about time,' says Elaine.
'Oh,' says Roger. Still hoping he's on the right track he responds,' Yes.'
(Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)
'Thank you, Roger,' Elaine says.
'Thank you,' says Roger.
Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn.
Whereas when Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it.
(This is also Roger's policy regarding world hunger.)
The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either.
Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Elaine's, will pause just before serving, frown, and ask:
'Norm, did Elaine ever own a horse?'
Casuistik, Aug 16, 2008 @ 08:50
They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.
And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: 'Roger, do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?'
And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.
And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months.
And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward...I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?
And Roger is thinking:...so that means it was...let's see...February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means...lemme check the odometer...Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here...
And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed -- even before I sensed it - that I was feeling some reservations.
Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.
And Roger is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a goddamn garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.
And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. God, I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.
And Roger is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90- day warranty. That's exactly what they're gonna say, the scumballs.
And Elaine is thinking: maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, school girl romantic fantasy.
And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty I'll give them a damn warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their....
'Roger,' Elaine says aloud.
'What?' asks Roger, startled.
'Please don't torture yourself like this,' she says, her eye beginning to brim with tears. 'Maybe I should never have . .Oh God, I feel so.....'
(She breaks down, sobbing.)
'What?' says Roger, totally perplexed.
'I'm such a fool,' Elaine sobs. 'I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse.'
'There's no horse?' says Roger.
'You think I'm a fool, don't you?' Elaine says.
'No!' says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer.
'It's just that...It's that I...I need some time,' Elaine says.
(There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)
'Yes,' he says.
(Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.)
'Oh, Roger, do you really feel that way?' she says.
'What way?' says Roger.
'That way about time,' says Elaine.
'Oh,' says Roger. Still hoping he's on the right track he responds,' Yes.'
(Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)
'Thank you, Roger,' Elaine says.
'Thank you,' says Roger.
Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn.
Whereas when Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it.
(This is also Roger's policy regarding world hunger.)
The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either.
Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Elaine's, will pause just before serving, frown, and ask:
'Norm, did Elaine ever own a horse?'
Casuistik, Aug 16, 2008 @ 08:50
Your Reply:
Only members can see names and photos
Re: Humor - King Arthur and the Witch
Post 2
Aug 16, 2008 @ 12:45
Sorry... No time to give you a thorough reply now; I'm busy.
The text you are quoting:
Sorry... No time to give you a thorough reply now; I'm busy.
Casuistik, Aug 16, 2008 @ 12:45
Casuistik, Aug 16, 2008 @ 12:45
Your Reply:
Only members can see names and photos
Re: Humor - King Arthur and the Witch
Post 3
Aug 16, 2008 @ 13:19
that is a lovely story ! thanks
Only members can see names and photos
Re: Humor - King Arthur and the Witch
Post 4
Aug 16, 2008 @ 13:53
[quote]Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves.
They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.
And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: 'Roger, do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?'
And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.
And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months.
And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward...I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?
And Roger is thinking:...so that means it was...let's see...February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means...lemme check the odometer...Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here...
And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed -- even before I sensed it - that I was feeling some reservations.
Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.
And Roger is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a goddamn garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.
And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. God, I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.
And Roger is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90- day warranty. That's exactly what they're gonna say, the scumballs.
And Elaine is thinking: maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, school girl romantic fantasy.
And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty I'll give them a damn warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their....
'Roger,' Elaine says aloud.
'What?' asks Roger, startled.
'Please don't torture yourself like this,' she says, her eye beginning to brim with tears. 'Maybe I should never have . .Oh God, I feel so.....'
(She breaks down, sobbing.)
'What?' says Roger, totally perplexed.
'I'm such a fool,' Elaine sobs. 'I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse.'
'There's no horse?' says Roger.
'You think I'm a fool, don't you?' Elaine says.
'No!' says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer.
'It's just that...It's that I...I need some time,' Elaine says.
(There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)
'Yes,' he says.
(Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.)
'Oh, Roger, do you really feel that way?' she says.
'What way?' says Roger.
'That way about time,' says Elaine.
'Oh,' says Roger. Still hoping he's on the right track he responds,' Yes.'
(Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)
'Thank you, Roger,' Elaine says.
'Thank you,' says Roger.
Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn.
Whereas when Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it.
(This is also Roger's policy regarding world hunger.)
The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either.
Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Elaine's, will pause just before serving, frown, and ask:
'Norm, did Elaine ever own a horse?'[/quote]
This is too funny! I mean, so true...I cracked up laughing. Have a great weekend!
MF
They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.
And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: 'Roger, do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?'
And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.
And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months.
And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward...I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?
And Roger is thinking:...so that means it was...let's see...February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means...lemme check the odometer...Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here...
And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed -- even before I sensed it - that I was feeling some reservations.
Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.
And Roger is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a goddamn garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.
And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. God, I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.
And Roger is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90- day warranty. That's exactly what they're gonna say, the scumballs.
And Elaine is thinking: maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, school girl romantic fantasy.
And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty I'll give them a damn warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their....
'Roger,' Elaine says aloud.
'What?' asks Roger, startled.
'Please don't torture yourself like this,' she says, her eye beginning to brim with tears. 'Maybe I should never have . .Oh God, I feel so.....'
(She breaks down, sobbing.)
'What?' says Roger, totally perplexed.
'I'm such a fool,' Elaine sobs. 'I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse.'
'There's no horse?' says Roger.
'You think I'm a fool, don't you?' Elaine says.
'No!' says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer.
'It's just that...It's that I...I need some time,' Elaine says.
(There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)
'Yes,' he says.
(Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.)
'Oh, Roger, do you really feel that way?' she says.
'What way?' says Roger.
'That way about time,' says Elaine.
'Oh,' says Roger. Still hoping he's on the right track he responds,' Yes.'
(Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)
'Thank you, Roger,' Elaine says.
'Thank you,' says Roger.
Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn.
Whereas when Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it.
(This is also Roger's policy regarding world hunger.)
The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either.
Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Elaine's, will pause just before serving, frown, and ask:
'Norm, did Elaine ever own a horse?'[/quote]
This is too funny! I mean, so true...I cracked up laughing. Have a great weekend!
MF
The text you are quoting:
[quote]Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves.
They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.
And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: 'Roger, do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?'
And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.
And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months.
And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward...I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?
And Roger is thinking:...so that means it was...let's see...February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means...lemme check the odometer...Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here...
And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed -- even before I sensed it - that I was feeling some reservations.
Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.
And Roger is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a goddamn garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.
And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. God, I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.
And Roger is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90- day warranty. That's exactly what they're gonna say, the scumballs.
And Elaine is thinking: maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, school girl romantic fantasy.
And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty I'll give them a damn warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their....
'Roger,' Elaine says aloud.
'What?' asks Roger, startled.
'Please don't torture yourself like this,' she says, her eye beginning to brim with tears. 'Maybe I should never have . .Oh God, I feel so.....'
(She breaks down, sobbing.)
'What?' says Roger, totally perplexed.
'I'm such a fool,' Elaine sobs. 'I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse.'
'There's no horse?' says Roger.
'You think I'm a fool, don't you?' Elaine says.
'No!' says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer.
'It's just that...It's that I...I need some time,' Elaine says.
(There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)
'Yes,' he says.
(Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.)
'Oh, Roger, do you really feel that way?' she says.
'What way?' says Roger.
'That way about time,' says Elaine.
'Oh,' says Roger. Still hoping he's on the right track he responds,' Yes.'
(Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)
'Thank you, Roger,' Elaine says.
'Thank you,' says Roger.
Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn.
Whereas when Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it.
(This is also Roger's policy regarding world hunger.)
The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either.
Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Elaine's, will pause just before serving, frown, and ask:
'Norm, did Elaine ever own a horse?'[/quote]
This is too funny! I mean, so true...I cracked up laughing. Have a great weekend!
MF
mfrobert, Aug 16, 2008 @ 13:53
They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.
And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: 'Roger, do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?'
And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.
And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months.
And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward...I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?
And Roger is thinking:...so that means it was...let's see...February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means...lemme check the odometer...Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here...
And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed -- even before I sensed it - that I was feeling some reservations.
Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.
And Roger is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a goddamn garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.
And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. God, I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.
And Roger is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90- day warranty. That's exactly what they're gonna say, the scumballs.
And Elaine is thinking: maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, school girl romantic fantasy.
And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty I'll give them a damn warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their....
'Roger,' Elaine says aloud.
'What?' asks Roger, startled.
'Please don't torture yourself like this,' she says, her eye beginning to brim with tears. 'Maybe I should never have . .Oh God, I feel so.....'
(She breaks down, sobbing.)
'What?' says Roger, totally perplexed.
'I'm such a fool,' Elaine sobs. 'I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse.'
'There's no horse?' says Roger.
'You think I'm a fool, don't you?' Elaine says.
'No!' says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer.
'It's just that...It's that I...I need some time,' Elaine says.
(There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)
'Yes,' he says.
(Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.)
'Oh, Roger, do you really feel that way?' she says.
'What way?' says Roger.
'That way about time,' says Elaine.
'Oh,' says Roger. Still hoping he's on the right track he responds,' Yes.'
(Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)
'Thank you, Roger,' Elaine says.
'Thank you,' says Roger.
Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn.
Whereas when Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it.
(This is also Roger's policy regarding world hunger.)
The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either.
Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Elaine's, will pause just before serving, frown, and ask:
'Norm, did Elaine ever own a horse?'[/quote]
This is too funny! I mean, so true...I cracked up laughing. Have a great weekend!
MF
mfrobert, Aug 16, 2008 @ 13:53
Your Reply:
Only members can see names and photos
Re: Humor - King Arthur and the Witch
Post 5
Aug 16, 2008 @ 15:01
Fascinating ! so are you 'busy' really - or you cannot or do not wish to reply ???
(see how the female mind works ;) )
It was a joke.
Yes... I see how the female mind works...
(see how the female mind works ;) )
It was a joke.
Yes... I see how the female mind works...
The text you are quoting:
Fascinating ! so are you 'busy' really - or you cannot or do not wish to reply ???
(see how the female mind works ;) )
It was a joke.
Yes... I see how the female mind works...
Casuistik, Aug 16, 2008 @ 15:01
(see how the female mind works ;) )
It was a joke.
Yes... I see how the female mind works...
Casuistik, Aug 16, 2008 @ 15:01
Your Reply:
Only members can see names and photos
Re: Humor - King Arthur and the Witch
Post 6
Aug 16, 2008 @ 16:34
Same message (for the ones who were too lazy to read the story):
The text you are quoting:
Your Reply:
Only members can see names and photos
Re: Humor - King Arthur and the Witch
Post 7
Aug 18, 2008 @ 13:22
Real knights do exist. I am one. But there are drawbacks to knighthood:
-I was sued by the Southern Wales court for sporting an illegal weapon (my knightly two-handed sword) and killing an endangered specie (the dragon I slayed with the sword - hey, nobody told me they were on the CITES II list!)
-I was beaten down (at least, I let myself fall to the ground and played the victim to please these poor and feeble creatures ;) ) by a bunch of feminists that found out that chivalry was a way to lower the women's dignity and mob them into a subaltern role
-I once kissed the prince charming by mistake (my torch went off while I was climbing the stairs).
-Kiss the sleeping beauty after a 100 year nap and you will learn about the morning breath
-A 125 cc scooter doesn't appear on the official Noble Destrier's list.
-People make a fool out of you, your sword and your (more or less polished) armour. Especially people with machine guns and kevlar bullet proof vests.
Syd the Brown, the Knight with the Boar.
-I was sued by the Southern Wales court for sporting an illegal weapon (my knightly two-handed sword) and killing an endangered specie (the dragon I slayed with the sword - hey, nobody told me they were on the CITES II list!)
-I was beaten down (at least, I let myself fall to the ground and played the victim to please these poor and feeble creatures ;) ) by a bunch of feminists that found out that chivalry was a way to lower the women's dignity and mob them into a subaltern role
-I once kissed the prince charming by mistake (my torch went off while I was climbing the stairs).
-Kiss the sleeping beauty after a 100 year nap and you will learn about the morning breath
-A 125 cc scooter doesn't appear on the official Noble Destrier's list.
-People make a fool out of you, your sword and your (more or less polished) armour. Especially people with machine guns and kevlar bullet proof vests.
Syd the Brown, the Knight with the Boar.
The text you are quoting:
Real knights do exist. I am one. But there are drawbacks to knighthood:
-I was sued by the Southern Wales court for sporting an illegal weapon (my knightly two-handed sword) and killing an endangered specie (the dragon I slayed with the sword - hey, nobody told me they were on the CITES II list!)
-I was beaten down (at least, I let myself fall to the ground and played the victim to please these poor and feeble creatures ;) ) by a bunch of feminists that found out that chivalry was a way to lower the women's dignity and mob them into a subaltern role
-I once kissed the prince charming by mistake (my torch went off while I was climbing the stairs).
-Kiss the sleeping beauty after a 100 year nap and you will learn about the morning breath
-A 125 cc scooter doesn't appear on the official Noble Destrier's list.
-People make a fool out of you, your sword and your (more or less polished) armour. Especially people with machine guns and kevlar bullet proof vests.
Syd the Brown, the Knight with the Boar.
Syd_Brown, Aug 18, 2008 @ 13:22
-I was sued by the Southern Wales court for sporting an illegal weapon (my knightly two-handed sword) and killing an endangered specie (the dragon I slayed with the sword - hey, nobody told me they were on the CITES II list!)
-I was beaten down (at least, I let myself fall to the ground and played the victim to please these poor and feeble creatures ;) ) by a bunch of feminists that found out that chivalry was a way to lower the women's dignity and mob them into a subaltern role
-I once kissed the prince charming by mistake (my torch went off while I was climbing the stairs).
-Kiss the sleeping beauty after a 100 year nap and you will learn about the morning breath
-A 125 cc scooter doesn't appear on the official Noble Destrier's list.
-People make a fool out of you, your sword and your (more or less polished) armour. Especially people with machine guns and kevlar bullet proof vests.
Syd the Brown, the Knight with the Boar.
Syd_Brown, Aug 18, 2008 @ 13:22
Your Reply:
Only members can see names and photos
Re: Humor - King Arthur and the Witch
Post 8
Aug 18, 2008 @ 13:32
Real knights do exist. I am one. But there are drawbacks to knighthood:
-I was sued by the Southern Wales court for sporting an illegal weapon (my knightly two-handed sword) and killing an endangered specie (the dragon I slayed with the sword - hey, nobody told me they were on the CITES II list!)
-I was beaten down (at least, I let myself fall to the ground and played the victim to please these poor and feeble creatures ;) ) by a bunch of feminists that found out that chivalry was a way to lower the women's dignity and mob them into a subaltern role
-I once kissed the prince charming by mistake (my torch went off while I was climbing the stairs).
-Kiss the sleeping beauty after a 100 year nap and you will learn about the morning breath
-A 125 cc scooter doesn't appear on the official Noble Destrier's list.
-People make a fool out of you, your sword and your (more or less polished) armour. Especially people with machine guns and kevlar bullet proof vests.
Syd the Brown, the Knight with the Boar.
And there's this daily risk of being attacked by ferocious creatures...
The text you are quoting:
Real knights do exist. I am one. But there are drawbacks to knighthood:
-I was sued by the Southern Wales court for sporting an illegal weapon (my knightly two-handed sword) and killing an endangered specie (the dragon I slayed with the sword - hey, nobody told me they were on the CITES II list!)
-I was beaten down (at least, I let myself fall to the ground and played the victim to please these poor and feeble creatures ;) ) by a bunch of feminists that found out that chivalry was a way to lower the women's dignity and mob them into a subaltern role
-I once kissed the prince charming by mistake (my torch went off while I was climbing the stairs).
-Kiss the sleeping beauty after a 100 year nap and you will learn about the morning breath
-A 125 cc scooter doesn't appear on the official Noble Destrier's list.
-People make a fool out of you, your sword and your (more or less polished) armour. Especially people with machine guns and kevlar bullet proof vests.
Syd the Brown, the Knight with the Boar.
And there's this daily risk of being attacked by ferocious creatures...
Casuistik, Aug 18, 2008 @ 13:32
Your Reply:
Only members can see names and photos
Re: Humor - King Arthur and the Witch
Post 9
Aug 18, 2008 @ 13:38
Wow! A picture of Caerbannogg, The fiercest Rabbit ever!
The throwing of the Holy-Hand-Grenade-Of-Antioche was a good move to slay it.
Too bad the Bill-The-Sorcerer forgot how to throw his mighty fireballs during the fight... ;)
The throwing of the Holy-Hand-Grenade-Of-Antioche was a good move to slay it.
Too bad the Bill-The-Sorcerer forgot how to throw his mighty fireballs during the fight... ;)
The text you are quoting:
Wow! A picture of Caerbannogg, The fiercest Rabbit ever!
The throwing of the Holy-Hand-Grenade-Of-Antioche was a good move to slay it.
Too bad the Bill-The-Sorcerer forgot how to throw his mighty fireballs during the fight... ;)
Syd_Brown, Aug 18, 2008 @ 13:38
The throwing of the Holy-Hand-Grenade-Of-Antioche was a good move to slay it.
Too bad the Bill-The-Sorcerer forgot how to throw his mighty fireballs during the fight... ;)
Syd_Brown, Aug 18, 2008 @ 13:38
Your Reply:
Only members can see names and photos
Re: Humor - King Arthur and the Witch
Post 10
Aug 18, 2008 @ 13:46
thank you for the Video - unfortunately my connection is only 100Mbits/s (no idea what that means) but it is far too slow to view videos !
forgot to mention, real Knights do exist, I had a very handsome and charming one (gospel truth) problem was there were far too many damsels offering to polish his armour ;)
Oh and news update - apparently 'busy' meant 'busy':)
- 100MBits/s is a lot, so this shouldn't be the problem...
Still, here's an even shorter (and rougher) version of the message:
- I don't like polish jokes so much either...
- Glad to hear that your friend was lexically correct...
The text you are quoting:
thank you for the Video - unfortunately my connection is only 100Mbits/s (no idea what that means) but it is far too slow to view videos !
forgot to mention, real Knights do exist, I had a very handsome and charming one (gospel truth) problem was there were far too many damsels offering to polish his armour ;)
Oh and news update - apparently 'busy' meant 'busy':)
- 100MBits/s is a lot, so this shouldn't be the problem...
Still, here's an even shorter (and rougher) version of the message:
- I don't like polish jokes so much either...
- Glad to hear that your friend was lexically correct...
Casuistik, Aug 18, 2008 @ 13:46
Your Reply:
