WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:
Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5,000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. !
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
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Humour - Men are happier!
May 9, 2008 @ 02:03
The text you are quoting:
WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:
Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5,000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. !
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
VerbierMay 9, 2008 @ 02:03
Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5,000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. !
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
VerbierMay 9, 2008 @ 02:03
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Re: Humour - Men are happier!
Post 1
May 12, 2008 @ 13:14
Haha, this thread delivers :D
Men are pretty smart though; by always letting the woman go first through doors they're really just testing to make sure there is no crazed axe-murderer in there waiting for a victim.... you can't fool me with your thinly disguised attempts at being polite!
Also, what is with leaving us standing outside of places while you go get the car?? I don't want to be left alone in front of some busy public place, often at night, without someone around who can throw a punch!
*grin* Men... probably can't win no matter what they do ;)
Men are pretty smart though; by always letting the woman go first through doors they're really just testing to make sure there is no crazed axe-murderer in there waiting for a victim.... you can't fool me with your thinly disguised attempts at being polite!
Also, what is with leaving us standing outside of places while you go get the car?? I don't want to be left alone in front of some busy public place, often at night, without someone around who can throw a punch!
*grin* Men... probably can't win no matter what they do ;)
The text you are quoting:
Haha, this thread delivers :D
Men are pretty smart though; by always letting the woman go first through doors they're really just testing to make sure there is no crazed axe-murderer in there waiting for a victim.... you can't fool me with your thinly disguised attempts at being polite!
Also, what is with leaving us standing outside of places while you go get the car?? I don't want to be left alone in front of some busy public place, often at night, without someone around who can throw a punch!
*grin* Men... probably can't win no matter what they do ;)
KirstyW, May 12, 2008 @ 13:14
Men are pretty smart though; by always letting the woman go first through doors they're really just testing to make sure there is no crazed axe-murderer in there waiting for a victim.... you can't fool me with your thinly disguised attempts at being polite!
Also, what is with leaving us standing outside of places while you go get the car?? I don't want to be left alone in front of some busy public place, often at night, without someone around who can throw a punch!
*grin* Men... probably can't win no matter what they do ;)
KirstyW, May 12, 2008 @ 13:14
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Re: Humour - Men are happier!
Post 2
May 12, 2008 @ 16:01
A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!!!"
The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "BI***!!!"
They each continue on their way, and ..... as the man rounds the next
corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road ..... and dies immediately.
If only men would listen!
The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "BI***!!!"
They each continue on their way, and ..... as the man rounds the next
corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road ..... and dies immediately.
If only men would listen!
The text you are quoting:
A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!!!"
The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "BI***!!!"
They each continue on their way, and ..... as the man rounds the next
corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road ..... and dies immediately.
If only men would listen!
KirstyW, May 12, 2008 @ 16:01
The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "BI***!!!"
They each continue on their way, and ..... as the man rounds the next
corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road ..... and dies immediately.
If only men would listen!
KirstyW, May 12, 2008 @ 16:01
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Re: Humour - Men are happier!
Post 3
May 13, 2008 @ 10:47
[quote]Haha, this thread delivers :D
Men are pretty smart though; by always letting the woman go first through doors they're really just testing to make sure there is no crazed axe-murderer in there waiting for a victim.... you can't fool me with your thinly disguised attempts at being polite!
[/quote]
Well, Actually, for me, holding a door to a woman is a good way to see her front and her rear, and score one point for chivalry while smiling at her... ;)
By the way, it's not nice to make fun of men's brain. It's a tough thing to deal daily with TWO of them.
Gallant Top-Brain-less Syd.
Men are pretty smart though; by always letting the woman go first through doors they're really just testing to make sure there is no crazed axe-murderer in there waiting for a victim.... you can't fool me with your thinly disguised attempts at being polite!
[/quote]
Well, Actually, for me, holding a door to a woman is a good way to see her front and her rear, and score one point for chivalry while smiling at her... ;)
By the way, it's not nice to make fun of men's brain. It's a tough thing to deal daily with TWO of them.
Gallant Top-Brain-less Syd.
The text you are quoting:
[quote]Haha, this thread delivers :D
Men are pretty smart though; by always letting the woman go first through doors they're really just testing to make sure there is no crazed axe-murderer in there waiting for a victim.... you can't fool me with your thinly disguised attempts at being polite!
[/quote]
Well, Actually, for me, holding a door to a woman is a good way to see her front and her rear, and score one point for chivalry while smiling at her... ;)
By the way, it's not nice to make fun of men's brain. It's a tough thing to deal daily with TWO of them.
Gallant Top-Brain-less Syd.
Syd_Brown, May 13, 2008 @ 10:47
Men are pretty smart though; by always letting the woman go first through doors they're really just testing to make sure there is no crazed axe-murderer in there waiting for a victim.... you can't fool me with your thinly disguised attempts at being polite!
[/quote]
Well, Actually, for me, holding a door to a woman is a good way to see her front and her rear, and score one point for chivalry while smiling at her... ;)
By the way, it's not nice to make fun of men's brain. It's a tough thing to deal daily with TWO of them.
Gallant Top-Brain-less Syd.
Syd_Brown, May 13, 2008 @ 10:47
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Re: Humour - Men are happier!
Post 4
May 13, 2008 @ 11:33
A scientist makes conclusions from what (s)he observes, in the most accurate and objective way.
As far as I'm concerned, I totally agree. ;)
Syd.
As far as I'm concerned, I totally agree. ;)
Syd.
The text you are quoting:
A scientist makes conclusions from what (s)he observes, in the most accurate and objective way.
As far as I'm concerned, I totally agree. ;)
Syd.
Syd_Brown, May 13, 2008 @ 11:33
As far as I'm concerned, I totally agree. ;)
Syd.
Syd_Brown, May 13, 2008 @ 11:33
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Re: Humour - Men are happier!
Post 5
May 13, 2008 @ 11:34
No, wait, I have a brain in the stomach, too.
The text you are quoting:
No, wait, I have a brain in the stomach, too.
Syd_Brown, May 13, 2008 @ 11:34
Syd_Brown, May 13, 2008 @ 11:34
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Re: Humour - Men are happier!
Post 6
May 13, 2008 @ 11:48
Hmm, I wonder how much of my own brain is normally functioning:
10% is tied directly to my stomach.
5% is dedicated to oogling my boyfriend's butt.
15% scans people's feet and store windows for nice shoes.
7% focuses on saying "awww" at fuzzy critters, pretty plants, shiny bits on the street...
13% still worries about catching the Y bus out to the countryside... even at mid-day!
25% of total brain resources are dedicated to mocking my Finnish friends for their hockey loss last night...
Thank goodness I'm female and can multi-task all of those ;)
10% is tied directly to my stomach.
5% is dedicated to oogling my boyfriend's butt.
15% scans people's feet and store windows for nice shoes.
7% focuses on saying "awww" at fuzzy critters, pretty plants, shiny bits on the street...
13% still worries about catching the Y bus out to the countryside... even at mid-day!
25% of total brain resources are dedicated to mocking my Finnish friends for their hockey loss last night...
Thank goodness I'm female and can multi-task all of those ;)
The text you are quoting:
Hmm, I wonder how much of my own brain is normally functioning:
10% is tied directly to my stomach.
5% is dedicated to oogling my boyfriend's butt.
15% scans people's feet and store windows for nice shoes.
7% focuses on saying "awww" at fuzzy critters, pretty plants, shiny bits on the street...
13% still worries about catching the Y bus out to the countryside... even at mid-day!
25% of total brain resources are dedicated to mocking my Finnish friends for their hockey loss last night...
Thank goodness I'm female and can multi-task all of those ;)
KirstyW, May 13, 2008 @ 11:48
10% is tied directly to my stomach.
5% is dedicated to oogling my boyfriend's butt.
15% scans people's feet and store windows for nice shoes.
7% focuses on saying "awww" at fuzzy critters, pretty plants, shiny bits on the street...
13% still worries about catching the Y bus out to the countryside... even at mid-day!
25% of total brain resources are dedicated to mocking my Finnish friends for their hockey loss last night...
Thank goodness I'm female and can multi-task all of those ;)
KirstyW, May 13, 2008 @ 11:48
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Re: Humour - Men are happier!
Post 7
May 13, 2008 @ 11:54
Actually, I wasn't being serious about my belly.
I was just thinking about the obscure forces driving me... Food is one! ;)
I was just thinking about the obscure forces driving me... Food is one! ;)
The text you are quoting:
Actually, I wasn't being serious about my belly.
I was just thinking about the obscure forces driving me... Food is one! ;)
Syd_Brown, May 13, 2008 @ 11:54
I was just thinking about the obscure forces driving me... Food is one! ;)
Syd_Brown, May 13, 2008 @ 11:54
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Re: Humour - Men are happier!
Post 8
May 13, 2008 @ 12:03
[quote]Actually, I wasn't being serious about my belly.
I was just thinking about the obscure forces driving me... Food is one! ;)
[/quote]
Same here... except I really do scan my surroundings for great shoes *tragic sigh* It's my Achilles heel! ;)
I was just thinking about the obscure forces driving me... Food is one! ;)
[/quote]
Same here... except I really do scan my surroundings for great shoes *tragic sigh* It's my Achilles heel! ;)
The text you are quoting:
[quote]Actually, I wasn't being serious about my belly.
I was just thinking about the obscure forces driving me... Food is one! ;)
[/quote]
Same here... except I really do scan my surroundings for great shoes *tragic sigh* It's my Achilles heel! ;)
KirstyW, May 13, 2008 @ 12:03
I was just thinking about the obscure forces driving me... Food is one! ;)
[/quote]
Same here... except I really do scan my surroundings for great shoes *tragic sigh* It's my Achilles heel! ;)
KirstyW, May 13, 2008 @ 12:03
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Re: Humour - Men are happier!
Post 9
May 13, 2008 @ 13:33
To follow up on isa413's comment!
Nominated as the world's best short joke of the year.
A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath.
'Mom', he asked, 'Are these my brains?'
'Not yet,' she replied.:)
Nominated as the world's best short joke of the year.
A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath.
'Mom', he asked, 'Are these my brains?'
'Not yet,' she replied.:)
The text you are quoting:
To follow up on isa413's comment!
Nominated as the world's best short joke of the year.
A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath.
'Mom', he asked, 'Are these my brains?'
'Not yet,' she replied.:)
Verbier, May 13, 2008 @ 13:33
Nominated as the world's best short joke of the year.
A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath.
'Mom', he asked, 'Are these my brains?'
'Not yet,' she replied.:)
Verbier, May 13, 2008 @ 13:33
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