I was talking to a friend of mine lately and she was telling me some of the latest comment/remark that she had at work. And I thought I'd share it.
She's a nice outgoing person, work for a big company, but leaves in a not SO big town. In the last 2 weeks she's been told to
1) Change her clothing style and dress up, to look more competent, and not like an assistant (some ppl really discriminate!!)
2) Learn the use of make up at work, to look more mature and professional, and not just out of university
3) Behave differently out of the office, avoiding partying too much, or giving a show, or dancing on the tables etc etc ... cause ppl from the office noticed that and harms her image
4) Stop flirting around, even if with ppl that don't work in the same place, cause ppl can see and talk.
At first I couldn't help being supportive, but then I started thinking ... is the 'image' so important at work? and if yes on what is it based? I know it should be based on what we really know about our job, and not on the make up or the dress (especially if it doesn't involve working with contractors) ... but .. is it really like that? Dressing smart unfortunatelly helps in some jobs, at least to look more mature, and ... as my friend told me, ppl stop questioning what u do and ur work and they tend to beleive in it much quickier (sad reality).
But what about the rest? what about the private life? I thought that have a balance between working and private life was important, and that that should allow someone to behave like him-herslef out of the office. Especially if partying or dating doesn't involve colleagues ... She was asking me for advice, and I really didn't know what to say ... it's unfair, and sad, but people do like to gossip and gossip do affect the work enviroment and the perception ... or not?
Val - speachless lately.
Global Forums > General > Is Image really the most important thing (at work)?
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Is Image really the most important thing (at work)?
Aug 6, 2006 @ 05:53
The text you are quoting:
I was talking to a friend of mine lately and she was telling me some of the latest comment/remark that she had at work. And I thought I'd share it.
She's a nice outgoing person, work for a big company, but leaves in a not SO big town. In the last 2 weeks she's been told to
1) Change her clothing style and dress up, to look more competent, and not like an assistant (some ppl really discriminate!!)
2) Learn the use of make up at work, to look more mature and professional, and not just out of university
3) Behave differently out of the office, avoiding partying too much, or giving a show, or dancing on the tables etc etc ... cause ppl from the office noticed that and harms her image
4) Stop flirting around, even if with ppl that don't work in the same place, cause ppl can see and talk.
At first I couldn't help being supportive, but then I started thinking ... is the 'image' so important at work? and if yes on what is it based? I know it should be based on what we really know about our job, and not on the make up or the dress (especially if it doesn't involve working with contractors) ... but .. is it really like that? Dressing smart unfortunatelly helps in some jobs, at least to look more mature, and ... as my friend told me, ppl stop questioning what u do and ur work and they tend to beleive in it much quickier (sad reality).
But what about the rest? what about the private life? I thought that have a balance between working and private life was important, and that that should allow someone to behave like him-herslef out of the office. Especially if partying or dating doesn't involve colleagues ... She was asking me for advice, and I really didn't know what to say ... it's unfair, and sad, but people do like to gossip and gossip do affect the work enviroment and the perception ... or not?
Val - speachless lately.
HoilingAug 6, 2006 @ 05:53
She's a nice outgoing person, work for a big company, but leaves in a not SO big town. In the last 2 weeks she's been told to
1) Change her clothing style and dress up, to look more competent, and not like an assistant (some ppl really discriminate!!)
2) Learn the use of make up at work, to look more mature and professional, and not just out of university
3) Behave differently out of the office, avoiding partying too much, or giving a show, or dancing on the tables etc etc ... cause ppl from the office noticed that and harms her image
4) Stop flirting around, even if with ppl that don't work in the same place, cause ppl can see and talk.
At first I couldn't help being supportive, but then I started thinking ... is the 'image' so important at work? and if yes on what is it based? I know it should be based on what we really know about our job, and not on the make up or the dress (especially if it doesn't involve working with contractors) ... but .. is it really like that? Dressing smart unfortunatelly helps in some jobs, at least to look more mature, and ... as my friend told me, ppl stop questioning what u do and ur work and they tend to beleive in it much quickier (sad reality).
But what about the rest? what about the private life? I thought that have a balance between working and private life was important, and that that should allow someone to behave like him-herslef out of the office. Especially if partying or dating doesn't involve colleagues ... She was asking me for advice, and I really didn't know what to say ... it's unfair, and sad, but people do like to gossip and gossip do affect the work enviroment and the perception ... or not?
Val - speachless lately.
HoilingAug 6, 2006 @ 05:53
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Re: Is Image really the most important thing (at work)?
Post 1
Aug 6, 2006 @ 14:22
Image is important everywhere in life, even if it changes sooo much according to where and with which people.
In my job, my boss went on complaining that I dress too smart, until I convinced her that I do it 'cause I like it, not 'cause I feel obliged, and 'cause a jacket has many more pockets than a pullover to carry all my electronics and gadgets :)
Coming back to your friend... I agree, points 1) an d 2) are good advises, if she feels like making the effort. The way you look like is the first way you introduce yourself to people. It's not bad to be polite and attentive.
But on points 3) and 4) F**k them! If I were your friend I'd tell them to mind their own business! Out of the office, that's my life and doesn't concern anybody at work. If they want to party with me, they are welcome... otherwise let the jerks go to sleep early.
On point 4) I'm even stronger! You know how deeply I despise moralists! I would answer to this kind of comments something like: "You know... in order to keep my nerves steady enough to remain calm in the office when I'm told this kind bulls**t, I need to get laid at least three times a week. ... ormonal balance... Maybe if you spent more time working and less time pissing off colleagues on their own private life, I would be more relaxed and could do it with sex just on week ends!"
;-)
In my job, my boss went on complaining that I dress too smart, until I convinced her that I do it 'cause I like it, not 'cause I feel obliged, and 'cause a jacket has many more pockets than a pullover to carry all my electronics and gadgets :)
Coming back to your friend... I agree, points 1) an d 2) are good advises, if she feels like making the effort. The way you look like is the first way you introduce yourself to people. It's not bad to be polite and attentive.
But on points 3) and 4) F**k them! If I were your friend I'd tell them to mind their own business! Out of the office, that's my life and doesn't concern anybody at work. If they want to party with me, they are welcome... otherwise let the jerks go to sleep early.
On point 4) I'm even stronger! You know how deeply I despise moralists! I would answer to this kind of comments something like: "You know... in order to keep my nerves steady enough to remain calm in the office when I'm told this kind bulls**t, I need to get laid at least three times a week. ... ormonal balance... Maybe if you spent more time working and less time pissing off colleagues on their own private life, I would be more relaxed and could do it with sex just on week ends!"
;-)
The text you are quoting:
Image is important everywhere in life, even if it changes sooo much according to where and with which people.
In my job, my boss went on complaining that I dress too smart, until I convinced her that I do it 'cause I like it, not 'cause I feel obliged, and 'cause a jacket has many more pockets than a pullover to carry all my electronics and gadgets :)
Coming back to your friend... I agree, points 1) an d 2) are good advises, if she feels like making the effort. The way you look like is the first way you introduce yourself to people. It's not bad to be polite and attentive.
But on points 3) and 4) F**k them! If I were your friend I'd tell them to mind their own business! Out of the office, that's my life and doesn't concern anybody at work. If they want to party with me, they are welcome... otherwise let the jerks go to sleep early.
On point 4) I'm even stronger! You know how deeply I despise moralists! I would answer to this kind of comments something like: "You know... in order to keep my nerves steady enough to remain calm in the office when I'm told this kind bulls**t, I need to get laid at least three times a week. ... ormonal balance... Maybe if you spent more time working and less time pissing off colleagues on their own private life, I would be more relaxed and could do it with sex just on week ends!"
;-)
Stef__Granny, Aug 6, 2006 @ 14:22
In my job, my boss went on complaining that I dress too smart, until I convinced her that I do it 'cause I like it, not 'cause I feel obliged, and 'cause a jacket has many more pockets than a pullover to carry all my electronics and gadgets :)
Coming back to your friend... I agree, points 1) an d 2) are good advises, if she feels like making the effort. The way you look like is the first way you introduce yourself to people. It's not bad to be polite and attentive.
But on points 3) and 4) F**k them! If I were your friend I'd tell them to mind their own business! Out of the office, that's my life and doesn't concern anybody at work. If they want to party with me, they are welcome... otherwise let the jerks go to sleep early.
On point 4) I'm even stronger! You know how deeply I despise moralists! I would answer to this kind of comments something like: "You know... in order to keep my nerves steady enough to remain calm in the office when I'm told this kind bulls**t, I need to get laid at least three times a week. ... ormonal balance... Maybe if you spent more time working and less time pissing off colleagues on their own private life, I would be more relaxed and could do it with sex just on week ends!"
;-)
Stef__Granny, Aug 6, 2006 @ 14:22
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Re: Is Image really the most important thing (at work)?
Post 2
Aug 6, 2006 @ 14:45
Will pass the message!! U are a wise granny!!
Kisses Vale
Kisses Vale
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Re: Is Image really the most important thing (at work)?
Post 3
Aug 11, 2006 @ 03:13
...one might just be assessed by her/his performance in the job but in reality - being in a similar environment as your friend - i perceive that it's the image what counts. one's performance certainly pays a major contribution to the image but it's certainly not the only factor. all points mentioned above do also impact it, especially being in a not so big town as geneva is.
being aware of this, i think everyone has to ask her- or himself 'how much do i care?' or 'to what degree am i willing to compromise myself for the sake of my image?'.
for me, points 1 & 2 seem to be rather small sacrifices if any(though this might be different for another person), "advises" 3 & 4 are unacceptable for me (except the partying too much affects the actual job performance). the good thing about them being said is that your friend is now aware of it...and if (and only if) her career in that company is absolute top priority for her, she might even consider changing these behaviours.
which leads me to my next point: i am convinced that if the "role" one is playing at work is too far from the real personality, it won't work in the long-term and one will end up unmotivated, frustrated...and not successful either.
hope it helped.
alex
being aware of this, i think everyone has to ask her- or himself 'how much do i care?' or 'to what degree am i willing to compromise myself for the sake of my image?'.
for me, points 1 & 2 seem to be rather small sacrifices if any(though this might be different for another person), "advises" 3 & 4 are unacceptable for me (except the partying too much affects the actual job performance). the good thing about them being said is that your friend is now aware of it...and if (and only if) her career in that company is absolute top priority for her, she might even consider changing these behaviours.
which leads me to my next point: i am convinced that if the "role" one is playing at work is too far from the real personality, it won't work in the long-term and one will end up unmotivated, frustrated...and not successful either.
hope it helped.
alex
The text you are quoting:
...one might just be assessed by her/his performance in the job but in reality - being in a similar environment as your friend - i perceive that it's the image what counts. one's performance certainly pays a major contribution to the image but it's certainly not the only factor. all points mentioned above do also impact it, especially being in a not so big town as geneva is.
being aware of this, i think everyone has to ask her- or himself 'how much do i care?' or 'to what degree am i willing to compromise myself for the sake of my image?'.
for me, points 1 & 2 seem to be rather small sacrifices if any(though this might be different for another person), "advises" 3 & 4 are unacceptable for me (except the partying too much affects the actual job performance). the good thing about them being said is that your friend is now aware of it...and if (and only if) her career in that company is absolute top priority for her, she might even consider changing these behaviours.
which leads me to my next point: i am convinced that if the "role" one is playing at work is too far from the real personality, it won't work in the long-term and one will end up unmotivated, frustrated...and not successful either.
hope it helped.
alex
Quijote, Aug 11, 2006 @ 03:13
being aware of this, i think everyone has to ask her- or himself 'how much do i care?' or 'to what degree am i willing to compromise myself for the sake of my image?'.
for me, points 1 & 2 seem to be rather small sacrifices if any(though this might be different for another person), "advises" 3 & 4 are unacceptable for me (except the partying too much affects the actual job performance). the good thing about them being said is that your friend is now aware of it...and if (and only if) her career in that company is absolute top priority for her, she might even consider changing these behaviours.
which leads me to my next point: i am convinced that if the "role" one is playing at work is too far from the real personality, it won't work in the long-term and one will end up unmotivated, frustrated...and not successful either.
hope it helped.
alex
Quijote, Aug 11, 2006 @ 03:13
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Re: Is Image really the most important thing (at work)?
Post 4
Aug 16, 2006 @ 18:15
On a different note, here’s a question: did everyone in the office “get a talking to”? Could be that the recent comments were meant to be a helpful heads-up, due to a change in management, or because her boss has fallen in love with her, or due to behavior that really is a bit inappropriate, considering the environment, and might eventually cause problems; or it could be bullying. This can be rooted in behavior patterns. A slight shift in attitude, communication skills, and even one’s posture, as well as dressing habits, can nip problems in the bud. It can pay to look inward before pointing fingers. From personal experience, I would say, with great irritation, that image is everything, especially in small populations, whether a town or an office. So, yes ladies, it does matter whether or not you wear lipstick and what color you wear, and whether or not you reapply after lunchtime and how you apply it (same goes for men and shaving or wearing ties or jackets etc.). Unfortunately, one's nightlife also can matter, including who one sleeps with, why, how, when and where (ref. Von Trier’s film Breaking the Waves). Why? Because people gossip and gossip is toxic. Because life isn’t fair. This is why cities are there for us. Small-town life unmanageable? Then it could be time to move on. Before doing so, however, if one has the time and energy, it can be advisable to at least try to launch a revolution and rock that boat. Even in small ways: with a winning smile, ask the perpetrator to send an email summary of the conversation for example. And remember this: Janis Joplin said her high-school classmates in small-town Texas laughed her out of class, out of town and out of the State. But when she went home again, she was the one laughing.
The text you are quoting:
On a different note, here’s a question: did everyone in the office “get a talking to”? Could be that the recent comments were meant to be a helpful heads-up, due to a change in management, or because her boss has fallen in love with her, or due to behavior that really is a bit inappropriate, considering the environment, and might eventually cause problems; or it could be bullying. This can be rooted in behavior patterns. A slight shift in attitude, communication skills, and even one’s posture, as well as dressing habits, can nip problems in the bud. It can pay to look inward before pointing fingers. From personal experience, I would say, with great irritation, that image is everything, especially in small populations, whether a town or an office. So, yes ladies, it does matter whether or not you wear lipstick and what color you wear, and whether or not you reapply after lunchtime and how you apply it (same goes for men and shaving or wearing ties or jackets etc.). Unfortunately, one's nightlife also can matter, including who one sleeps with, why, how, when and where (ref. Von Trier’s film Breaking the Waves). Why? Because people gossip and gossip is toxic. Because life isn’t fair. This is why cities are there for us. Small-town life unmanageable? Then it could be time to move on. Before doing so, however, if one has the time and energy, it can be advisable to at least try to launch a revolution and rock that boat. Even in small ways: with a winning smile, ask the perpetrator to send an email summary of the conversation for example. And remember this: Janis Joplin said her high-school classmates in small-town Texas laughed her out of class, out of town and out of the State. But when she went home again, she was the one laughing.
Tilda, Aug 16, 2006 @ 18:15
Tilda, Aug 16, 2006 @ 18:15
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