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Lets have a smile

Margaret is very upset as her husband Albert had just passed away. She went to the undertakers to have one last look at her dearly departed husband. The instant she saw him she starts crying. One of the undertakers strides up to provide comfort in this somber moment. Through her tears she explains that she is upset because her dearest Albert was wearing a black suit, and it was his dying wish to be buried in a blue suit.


 The undertaker apologizes and explains that traditionally, they always put the bodies in a black, but he'd see what he could arrange. The next day she returned to the undertakers to have one last moment with Albert before his funeral the following day. When the undertaker pulls back the curtain, she manages to smile through her tears as Albert is resplendent in a smart blue suit.


 She says to the undertaker "Wonderful, wonderful, but where did you get that beautiful blue suit?"


 "Well, yesterday afternoon after you left, a man about your husband's size was brought in & he was wearing a blue suit. His wife explained that she was very upset as he had always wanted to be buried in a black suit," the undertaker replied.


 The wife smiled at the man.


 He continued, "After that, it was simply a matter of swapping the heads"

The text you are quoting:

Margaret is very upset as her husband Albert had just passed away. She went to the undertakers to have one last look at her dearly departed husband. The instant she saw him she starts crying. One of the undertakers strides up to provide comfort in this somber moment. Through her tears she explains that she is upset because her dearest Albert was wearing a black suit, and it was his dying wish to be buried in a blue suit.


 The undertaker apologizes and explains that traditionally, they always put the bodies in a black, but he'd see what he could arrange. The next day she returned to the undertakers to have one last moment with Albert before his funeral the following day. When the undertaker pulls back the curtain, she manages to smile through her tears as Albert is resplendent in a smart blue suit.


 She says to the undertaker "Wonderful, wonderful, but where did you get that beautiful blue suit?"


 "Well, yesterday afternoon after you left, a man about your husband's size was brought in & he was wearing a blue suit. His wife explained that she was very upset as he had always wanted to be buried in a black suit," the undertaker replied.


 The wife smiled at the man.


 He continued, "After that, it was simply a matter of swapping the heads"


Jeffery SMar 23, 2016 @ 12:37
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Re: Lets have a smile
Post 1

New Lawyer joke.


what do you get  when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?


an offer you can't understand!


 

The text you are quoting:

New Lawyer joke.


what do you get  when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?


an offer you can't understand!


 


epicure, Mar 23, 2016 @ 12:51
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Post 2


The text you are quoting:

Casuistik, Mar 23, 2016 @ 13:47
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Re: Lets have a smile
Post 3

New Lawyer joke.

what do you get  when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

an offer you can't understand!

 


Mar 23, 16 12:51

Excellent....winging it's way to the antipodes as I write !!

The text you are quoting:

Excellent....winging it's way to the antipodes as I write !!


Jeffery S, Mar 23, 2016 @ 14:21
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Post 4

Mar 23, 16 13:47

There is a brewery in NZ who runs billboards with a statement and then finishes with "Yeah Right...." this would be perfect !!

The text you are quoting:

There is a brewery in NZ who runs billboards with a statement and then finishes with "Yeah Right...." this would be perfect !!


Jeffery S, Mar 23, 2016 @ 14:23
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Re: Lets have a smile
Post 5

Seems like somebody has called Saul...

The text you are quoting:

Seems like somebody has called Saul...


Casuistik, Mar 23, 2016 @ 14:26
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Re: Lets have a smile
Post 6

haha ...

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haha ...
Victoria P, Mar 25, 2016 @ 16:51

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Re: Lets have a smile
Post 7

Mar 23, 16 13:47

LaughingLol   

The text you are quoting:

LaughingLol   


Victoria P, Mar 25, 2016 @ 17:23
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Re: Lets have a smile
Post 8

Margaret is very upset as her husband Albert had just passed away. She went to the undertakers to have one last look at her dearly departed husband. The instant she saw him she starts crying. One of the undertakers strides up to provide comfort in this somber moment. Through her tears she explains that she is upset because her dearest Albert was wearing a black suit, and it was his dying wish to be buried in a blue suit.

 The undertaker apologizes and explains that traditionally, they always put the bodies in a black, but he'd see what he could arrange. The next day she returned to the undertakers to have one last moment with Albert before his funeral the following day. When the undertaker pulls back the curtain, she manages to smile through her tears as Albert is resplendent in a smart blue suit.

 She says to the undertaker "Wonderful, wonderful, but where did you get that beautiful blue suit?"

 "Well, yesterday afternoon after you left, a man about your husband's size was brought in & he was wearing a blue suit. His wife explained that she was very upset as he had always wanted to be buried in a black suit," the undertaker replied.

 The wife smiled at the man.

 He continued, "After that, it was simply a matter of swapping the heads"


Mar 23, 16 12:37

That is SOOOOO Bad!!!! Shame on you Jeffrey!!


 


Keep up the good work...

The text you are quoting:

That is SOOOOO Bad!!!! Shame on you Jeffrey!!


 


Keep up the good work...


Carolyn C, Mar 25, 2016 @ 19:59
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Re: Lets have a smile
Post 9

That is SOOOOO Bad!!!! Shame on you Jeffrey!!

 

Keep up the good work...


Mar 25, 16 19:59

You are just overreacting Tongue Out

The text you are quoting:

You are just overreacting Tongue Out


JR M, Mar 25, 2016 @ 21:09
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Re: Lets have a smile
Post 10

You are just overreacting Tongue Out


Mar 25, 16 21:09

I don’t agree with you.


I thought the so-called “joke” was in extremely bad taste.  

The text you are quoting:

I don’t agree with you.


I thought the so-called “joke” was in extremely bad taste.  


Ritchie, Mar 25, 2016 @ 22:52
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Post 11

Ok, I will bite:


You are just overreacting, Ritchie....Wink

The text you are quoting:

Ok, I will bite:


You are just overreacting, Ritchie....Wink


JR M, Mar 26, 2016 @ 14:16
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Re: Lets have a smile
Post 12

and in case an explantion is needed: I thought that Jeffrey's posting was not funny, and sure, in questionable taste, but hey, to each his own. I just could not resist picking up on casuistick's posting, which I assume was intended to be a social comment on attitudes towards women and insert it after Carlolyn, to reinforce the point....

The text you are quoting:

and in case an explantion is needed: I thought that Jeffrey's posting was not funny, and sure, in questionable taste, but hey, to each his own. I just could not resist picking up on casuistick's posting, which I assume was intended to be a social comment on attitudes towards women and insert it after Carlolyn, to reinforce the point....


JR M, Mar 26, 2016 @ 14:21
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Re: Lets have a smile
Post 13


The text you are quoting:

Casuistik, Mar 26, 2016 @ 19:44
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Re: Lets have a smile
Post 14

casuis @ umn not nearly as funny as your other post  sorry ....

The text you are quoting:

casuis @ umn not nearly as funny as your other post  sorry ....


Victoria P, Mar 26, 2016 @ 20:01
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Re: Lets have a smile
Post 15

Ok folks just to let you know that obviously there is a serious lack of sense of humour in this country so be assured that this post is my LAST - I can't be bothered... funny that the F word in some posts draws no reaction at all. Chill out people and have a laugh...

The text you are quoting:

Ok folks just to let you know that obviously there is a serious lack of sense of humour in this country so be assured that this post is my LAST - I can't be bothered... funny that the F word in some posts draws no reaction at all. Chill out people and have a laugh...


Jeffery S, Mar 27, 2016 @ 17:48
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Re: Lets have a smile
Post 16

hey jeffery, don't throw the baby out with the bathwaterYell


most of us appreciate the humour. don't let a few ruin it for the majority,


"keep on trucken'" futher mucker!

The text you are quoting:

hey jeffery, don't throw the baby out with the bathwaterYell


most of us appreciate the humour. don't let a few ruin it for the majority,


"keep on trucken'" futher mucker!


epicure, Mar 27, 2016 @ 18:05
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Re: Lets have a smile
Post 17

Ok folks just to let you know that obviously there is a serious lack of sense of humour in this country so be assured that this post is my LAST - I can't be bothered... funny that the F word in some posts draws no reaction at all. Chill out people and have a laugh...


Mar 27, 16 17:48

Absolutely endorse what Roger's saying (there's a first!!).  


Don't let the joke police get to you.  Ritchie normally loves your jokes, so maybe you just touched a nerve with this one.....it happens to the nicest people.


Yes, there IS very little "wit" in Switzerland, but we're an international community who can find all sorts of things funny - including 99.9% of your jokes.


"Funny Friday" would be far more miserable without you.  Frown

The text you are quoting:

Absolutely endorse what Roger's saying (there's a first!!).  


Don't let the joke police get to you.  Ritchie normally loves your jokes, so maybe you just touched a nerve with this one.....it happens to the nicest people.


Yes, there IS very little "wit" in Switzerland, but we're an international community who can find all sorts of things funny - including 99.9% of your jokes.


"Funny Friday" would be far more miserable without you.  Frown


Carolyn C, Mar 27, 2016 @ 19:11
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Re: Lets have a smile
Post 18

Ok ok ...thanks Carolyn, Roger et al.. if this offends anyone then....


 


EXERCISE FOR PEOPLE OVER 60
Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side
 
With a  5-lb potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax.
 
Each day you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer. 



After a couple of weeks, move up to  10-lb  potato  bags  .  


Then try 50-lb potato bags and eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato bag  in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute.  (I'm at this level).


After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag.

The text you are quoting:

Ok ok ...thanks Carolyn, Roger et al.. if this offends anyone then....


 


EXERCISE FOR PEOPLE OVER 60
Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side
 
With a  5-lb potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax.
 
Each day you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer. 



After a couple of weeks, move up to  10-lb  potato  bags  .  


Then try 50-lb potato bags and eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato bag  in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute.  (I'm at this level).


After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag.


Jeffery S, Mar 30, 2016 @ 08:58
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