Are you so unpopular at work?!:unsure: Then may be its time that you change your policies :w00t: It is dreadful if you have so many enemies at work.

Or is this plain bad luck that these things keep happening to you. Because, this is not normal at all..........!
prit_n, Dec 23, 2008 @ 18:53

i have had many of my students (candidates) suffer this harassment/mobbing thing. there are some pretty narrow stupid people in the workplace, and the fact they they have no risk in this type of behaviour, means that they carry on.



i understand completely what you are going through......but if you have been in your job for more than 3-4 months, it's maybe too late to create a structure to stop this behaviour.



i would be happy to give you some sound and meaningful advice. write me a message outside of this forum and we can chat about it.



take care

epicure
epicure, Dec 23, 2008 @ 19:51

Interesting interpretation. And you do not even know me yet! Should I be paranoid as well now? :P



[quote]

It is dreadful if you have so many enemies at work.

[/quote]



It is not enemies. It is more subtle than that. This stuff has been happening over the past 18 months or so. Maybe even as long as 2 years. I would say I have good relationships with about 95% of people at work. There is a problem with one person... a person who has a VERY strong personality. But other than that, I do not have "enemies". I am actually an easy person to get along with, believe it or not. Pretty laid back too.





[quote]

Or is this plain bad luck that these things keep happening to you. Because, this is not normal at all..........![/quote]



No, I did not think this sort of thing is normal. But bad luck? Mmm... no, there must be more to it than that.
kejago, Dec 23, 2008 @ 22:24

Post above is for Prit...
kejago, Dec 23, 2008 @ 22:26

[quote]it's terrible

I would get in touch with one of the Geneva workers unions. SIT for instance. they know what to do[/quote]



I was thinking about this. That would mean bypassing the HR department.... this may not look good to the big bossess... corporate image is important. This may well dent that.



Talk about rocking the boat!!! :w00t:



Isn't this approach a bit "over the top" though? :unsure:
kejago, Dec 23, 2008 @ 22:30

[quote]i have had many of my students (candidates) suffer this harassment/mobbing thing. there are some pretty narrow stupid people in the workplace, and the fact they they have no risk in this type of behaviour, means that they carry on.



i understand completely what you are going through......but if you have been in your job for more than 3-4 months, it's maybe too late to create a structure to stop this behaviour.



i would be happy to give you some sound and meaningful advice. write me a message outside of this forum and we can chat about it.



take care

epicure[/quote]



Epicure, some interesting things to think about.



I have been in this company for 3 years. Restructuring meant my job role has changed, and so has that of others in my "team". Also, there is a major campagn underway to think more internationally, and work closer with international colleagues. Now, cross culture and cross border collaboration is a foreign concept for a lot of my co-workers. They are really not happy they have to work closer with a bunch of English. Some have become hard core FRancophone, and "refuse" to work more in English... a requirement because of the new collaboration required. A lot of these people resent this change... It really is a company culture (shock?) thing.



The question mulling in mind is, do I take this to HR, or not. Or just quietly leave at the earliest possibility? Taking it to HR may mean I am literally shooting myself in the foot.
kejago, Dec 23, 2008 @ 22:40

[quote][quote]i have had many of my students (candidates) suffer this harassment/mobbing thing. there are some pretty narrow stupid people in the workplace, and the fact they they have no risk in this type of behaviour, means that they carry on.



i understand completely what you are going through......but if you have been in your job for more than 3-4 months, it's maybe too late to create a structure to stop this behaviour.



i would be happy to give you some sound and meaningful advice. write me a message outside of this forum and we can chat about it.



take care

epicure[/quote]



Epicure, some interesting things to think about.



I have been in this company for 3 years. Restructuring meant my job role has changed, and so has that of others in my "team". Also, there is a major campagn underway to think more internationally, and work closer with international colleagues. Now, cross culture and cross border collaboration is a foreign concept for a lot of my co-workers. They are really not happy they have to work closer with a bunch of English. Some have become hard core FRancophone, and "refuse" to work more in English... a requirement because of the new collaboration required. A lot of these people resent this change... It really is a company culture (shock?) thing.



The question mulling in mind is, do I take this to HR, or not. Or just quietly leave at the earliest possibility? Taking it to HR may mean I am literally shooting myself in the foot.[/quote]



Depends on who you are (how valueable) and if HR knows that.

Of course, it also depends on how well your adversary is connected to HR.

I would seriously discourage side-stepping HR or even your boss with this.

You could as well just quit and look for a new job. In fact, that would be easier than having to look for a new job with such a mill-stone of "history" around the neck.

IT is a small world. Switzerland is small. Your next employer's HR might know your previous one on a first-name basis and go skiing together.

In some way, Switzerland is like Japan: get it sorted out in a way so that nobody loses face. Don't burn any bridges...





Oh, and: Merry Christmas ;-)



Rainer







rainer_d, Dec 24, 2008 @ 00:32

This may seem incredibly naive, but is there no way to get these people together with your boss and maybe an HR rep and talk it out?  Looks as if some peacekeeping may be required as the staff may resent the new company policy to anglicize things and you have become the victim of that resentment and probably represent management in their eyes.  Not to condone their bullying - it must be very difficult for you - but just an idea that there may be ways to bring it out into the open rather than walking away from it and proposing solutions. You dont need to point the finger.  It could be to discuss future objectives and working methods and in discussing those you may be able to set some groundrules which would "discourage" the main perpetrator and encourage his buddies so that they no longer feel they have the common objective to run you down.  Any English lessons for these staff, how is your French and integration here so as to chat with them about local issues?  Just some ideas.   Sorry if I missed the point!   And ... happy Christmas and New Year quand même!
mozambique, Dec 24, 2008 @ 09:04

Sounds as if you really are a victim of harassment.  I would definitely talk to the head of HR and security about some of the incidents that cannot be classified as pranks; the incidents involving damages to your personal property are criminal acts.  By raising these issues with both security and HR, both in person and via memo, you are making a record of incidents which they cannot ignore.  Of course you cannot accuse or even hint at the bully if you do not have concrete proof. 

I would also carefully document each occurence, including those that have already happened, to the extent that you can remember the details.  I would meet separately with HR and security iinitially before asking for any sort of confrontational meeting with the offensie coworkers.

I think Rainer's comments are very astute.  Sounds like you are keeping a cool head.  I would also avoid writing a lot of detail about work concerns on public forums such as Glocals.   Geneva is a very, very small place...  good luck:)
Translator, Dec 24, 2008 @ 10:19

[quote]This may seem incredibly naive,

[/quote]

If you have to ask...



[quote]

but is there no way to get these people together with your boss and maybe an HR rep and talk it out? Looks as if some peacekeeping may be required as the staffmay resent the new company policy to anglicize things and you have become the victimof that resentment and probably represent management in their eyes. Not to condonetheir bullying- it must be very difficult for you - but just an idea that there may be ways to bring it out into the open rather than walking away from it and proposing solutions. You dont need to point the finger. It could be to discuss future objectives and working methods and in discussing those you may be able to set some groundrules which would "discourage" the main perpetrator and encourage his buddies so that they no longer feel they have the common objective to run you down. Any English lessons for these staff, how is your French and integration here so as to chat with them about local issues? Just some ideas. Sorry if I missed the point! And ... happy Christmas and New Year quand même![/quote]



The problem is: there is real-life and there is lala-land like glocals ;-)

Real-life is not a forum where a moderator steps in and bans the bad user.





Mobbing is irrational. The people doing it don't follow the rules, they don't run around bragging about it and they certainly don't wear "Bully!" T-Shirts...

Also, as history tells, it's easier for everybody else to just ignore the bad attitude of the bully and hope it goes away once the victim has left. Because, if you complain, you might be next victim. In this regard, the same mass-psychological rules that applied to Germany in the 30s also apply to any workplace.



As previously hinted: a common "solution" is to promote the culprit away from the victim. If there are multiple culprits or if the culprit is not easily determinable, it's easier to get rid of the victim.

What Translator said (taking notes etc.) is IMO most useful to get a higher compensation-payment once you leave and/or sue.

Most companies will be horrified by such a collection (I would be...) and going to HR with it is as much a gamble as without. It might just accelerate your way out (which is OK, if this is what you really want).



Be (very) aware that things can develop a lot of momentum and you will have limited influence on the direction things are moving, once you set the whole thing in motion by ending your passive attitude.

If you are married, talk to your wife about it. Then, see a lawyer, psychologist and talk to them about it. If you believe in (some) god, it might be a good idea to go to his/her/its church (also way cheaper than a psychologist...).

Lastly, I'd really move this to a forum dedicated to this topic that is also more discreet.

I see that there is http://www.mobbing-zentrale.ch/ (in German and French), with some information also in English.



It's really strange that this topic arises around Christmas - the "festival of charity".

On second though, it isn't.

;-)





Cheers,

Rainer
rainer_d, Dec 24, 2008 @ 11:25

Lots to think about. Thanks for all the comments. :)



For now, it is Christmas. The table is set, and I am looking forward to eating a good meal with the family. :satisfied: Tomorrow, I am taking the dog for a looooong walk, whether he likes it or not. Lazy mutt.



It is almost the new year... and with the new year, there will be new opportunities.



Rainer, excellent insight. And pretty much spot-on I would say. Your thinking is close to my own in this matter. :cool:



Translater, I have documented proof. Not about the stuff that could be interpreted as pranks. All my proof is professional, impersonal, and related to the job. It has links to my manager, and the manager above him. It is recorded in the HR system.



Well folks, for now, I am done. And for once I am going to have a news years resolution: Get a new job!! :D
kejago, Dec 24, 2008 @ 19:28

And Tinkie... thank you. ;)
kejago, Dec 24, 2008 @ 19:30

[quote][quote]

I'm afraid leaving the company will ultimately have to be one frustrating solution, but before that... can't you do something about it yourself, like scaring the wits out of the freak in some way or another?

[/quote]



Mimi, yip, leaveing is the only way out.



As for scaring the freaks... ha ha. I am not the scary type! Well, small children may disagree. Nope, I don't hold grudges, and I do not do revenge. Life is too short for that. I believe in Karma. The wheel of life. One day they will get their just rewards.
kejago, Dec 24, 2008 @ 19:35

Hi Honey

sorry to hear this.

Okay as a counselor and relationship therapist I am well versed to understanding  relationship dynamics etc.

What I suggest to you is a book I recommend all my clients and indeed those in difficult relationships including work love and play.

It is called Counselling for Toads by Robert Be Board, you can get it sent free from play.com

http://www.play.com/Books/Books/4-/243893/-/Product.html?searchstring=counselling+for+toads&searchsource=0&cur=258

It tells a sweet , not patronsing and  helpful insightful story about the interplay of communication in relationships, as toad is depressed and feels a victim in his life. It is based on something called Transactional Analysis,

I hope it helps and it explains how not buy in to their game

Also by reading this book you can understand the process of what makes people  behave in the way they do.

Everyone should have this book as a relationsahip bible...Only in my opinion of course !!

Best wishes

Caroline

www.expatcounselling.com
dora2505, Jan 6, 2009 @ 21:12