Just a question. Are the people who cancelled after 1600 in the list as well, or are they in a different cancellation list?

I have not included them in this list, maybe I shoud have...

Also for that record, I've send out a reminder, to make sure that they signed up for a dinner....(as certain people sign up for several events) 

It is also totally unfair to the Restaurant, as I've confirmend 38 people.

In this case since I know it takes a lot of work to manage such a large group of people while keeping the restaurant updated, and unfortunately haivng to deny the participation of other people, I think it is right to name and shame.

I hope it all went well.

Denying the place to other people

Disrespect for restaurant organization

Managing large groups of people 

....very interesting points......Roger and Michael experience similar frustrations with brunch organization....but our café has been very tolerant of a lot of crap, sadly for them. 

They have not asked us to limit the number in our group yet. They are flexible week in week out and deserve a standing ovation!

But naming and shaming people? You'll find it gets you nowhere in the end.

Intresting to see, no reply from Nir Ofek, SiteAdminOded, or Ritchie (who comments on almost all post's)

My two cents, I have been on this page since Dec. 2005 ( and I/we had some great times, ... )several other people / friends keept this page going, so maybe it is time to follow everyone else, and go somewhere else -were we are appiciated.

Swiss:

I didn't realise you were expecting a reply out of me, or that you interperted my no reply as disrespect. I don't see all posts, and I don't reply to all the posts I see (unless there's a clear question there for me).

As you said, the issue and discussion about no-shows are important and have been around for a long time. It's on our work-plan to launch a system that will allow organisers to flag people who don't show up, and other organizers will see the % no show of these members. it's a controvesial solution, like all other solutions that came up, but it's the one we think has the most chance of working while pissing off the fewest people. We originally planned to launch this feature in Q1 2014, but decided to move it to Q4 due priority calls. I know it's important for everyone, incl us (the site owners), so will do my best to ensure it doesn't slip again on our planning. 

Nir

Well to be controversial and in reply to both Swiss’s & Nir’s last posts:

It’s a free country.  It’s (for some) a free world.  This is a free website.  It gives you the opportunity to meet new people of all ages, genders, races, cultures, religions, beliefs and everything else in between with no hidden or written agenda.

Because of that, and maybe thankfully for that, you will meet people from all walks of life. But basically, people are the same the whole world over.

We all bleed red.  We all disapoint sometimes.  We are all disappointed sometimes.  We all let people down sometimes, we are all let down sometimes.  But they are SOME times!!!!!

It’s not everyday, it’s not every event, it’s not everyone, but it happens.

Swiss – if you want to “go somewhere else where we’re appreciated” then go – to OVS or Internations or English Forum or any other website that give you the same opportunities as glocals.

But don’t be disillusioned that you’ll be “appreciated” more there, than here, because you will meet exactly the same type of people and they will all still bleed red.  You’ll just end up “naming and shaming” a whole different set of people.

Nir – this isn’t an important issue for over 10,000 members.  It’s an issue for a handful of people who post a lot of events and activities (including myself) who feel aggrieved that some people don’t respect the common courtesies of being able to RSVP Yes and mean it. 

It’s not a “glocals thing” – it is, unfortunately, and at the risk of sounding ancient, a “generation thing”.

It’s a modern social media disease, to say one thing on a website and mean another, to accept “friends” who you’ve never met, to agree to RSVP to something and wait to see if anything better turns up, to post intimate photos of yourself and complain about intrusion of privacy and a whole host of other things I can’t even begin to fathom.

I don’t feel that “flagging” people who don’t show up is the answer.  I don’t believe “naming and shaming” is the answer.  Both of these, in my humble opinion (apparently IMHO!) resort to playground level tactics.

Far kinder and courteous, surely, is to politely (as this is what we’re really hammering home, here) email the person concerned and ask them, kindly, to not sign up in the future. 

I KNOW it’s frustrating and it’s the reason that so many people give up organising events, but personal emails to the people concerned, done in a grown-up, dignified manner, have far more effect.

Please let’s not make glocals like Internations or OVS – most of us like it just the way it is.  Even, the “no-shows”.

Thank you for reading a long and probably tedious post on a Saturday night and if any of you fuckers don’t turn up on my hike tomorrow – you are SO dead!!!!!  

Nir, thank you!

Carolyne, thank you!

Let's be clear, Internations is out & so is OVS. Full stop.

We all know what the current trend is, and where people show up! = Fb events, where else? ;)

Sorry for the reality. 

@swiss: so you really think mark zuk at facebook will appreciate your efforts more than the founders of glocals will? or that fb has a better way of dealing with no shows? 

"You can't stop the waves, but you can learn how to surf."

In my experience, if you want people to use a system in a certain way it always works better to accomodate their behaviour, rather than punish it.

I think a lot of people sign-up for events in order to maintain visibility of them so that they can decide whether to attend closer to the date. 

A "Remind me later" or "Add to my diary" button, which didn't sign-up the person concerned but which would include them in the reminders etc would go a long way to reducing the no-shows without scaring anyone away.

This posting is brought to you by Arthur Guinness who has been the major contributor to my refreshments this evening.

Swiss are you expecting Nir to keep an eye on each and every post? Take a minute and think about it. We live in a world where we want everything perfect. Again take a minute and think about it.

I don't agree with referring to people in your friends list as "fuckers." If anyone ever felt that way about me, I would prefer to be removed from that person's list.

Frankly, there are a few in my list who I may drop one day,  but I keep all my friends as long as I possibly can, trying to focus on the fact that we all bleed red, all of us have our strengths and weaknesses and I try to forgive the fact that we all mess up sometimes.

As for generational issues, I can attest to people I know well over 60 who believe we are still on the playground. And friends who were very close friends (of a certain age) who try to "justifiably" cancel at the last moment when really they just got a better plan. It hurt, but I prefer the person being honest about where they'd like to spend their time. I don't hold it against them and I have not been riled up to the point yet of striking up a public name and shame list.

Nir, the flagging concept makes me think of the Scarlet Letter. In American history, if a woman was unfaithful, she would have a large "A" sewn on her lapel to shame her of her adultery. She would have to wear it publicly and suffer the rest of her life.

Flagging people would be like making them wear a big "F" for flakey! 

I would agree with sending a private message to someone who was repeatedly flakey especially if their no show stole the place of someone else who was really keen.

Andy: fully agree, that's also on the plan. 

Carrie: it'll be just a simple factual number showing what % of times a memebr pulled un-announced no shows.  

I feel I must defend Carolyn's use of ".. any of you fuckers .." since, to a British ear, it's quite an elegant and pleasing use of language.  (The Irish, Australians, Kiwis, South Africans and many Scandinavians will typically also read it in the same way.  Hungarians will just think it's rather wussy.)

It shouldn't be taken too seriously; it translates roughly to ".. any of you potentially troublesome people ..".

Constant swearing is unpleasant and pointless, but judicious use of swear-words (many of which are among the oldest and most culturally rich words we have) is both good English and an important maintenance of our linguistic culture.

Excellent!  The sequence of posts makes it look like you've agreed that swearing is on the plan.

Thanks SWISS for organising a great curry night - excellent food and good company. I'm glad I wasn't one of the "no-shows"!

I like to give people the benefit of doubt - it's a crazy busy world where people have unpredictable working hours, last minute deadlines, family crisis or are sick at the last minute - but no matter what the reason there is NO excuse for being discourteous. All it takes is a simple email or phone call to let the organiser know that you can't make it, and then if there is a stand-by or reserve list someone else can be offered the place.

Nir, I still think a "maybe" option (like FB events!) might save some of the grief - with a deadline of confirming one way or the other by midday on the day of the event.

Carrie - consider it done.  My pleasure.  You're welcome.

Fook me - some people get uptight about sweet F.A........

(Was that better?)

Now back to dealing with the issues in hand.....with no further "Bloviating".

(Carrie's new description of me/my posts)

Goshy Me - these forums are SUCH Fun!!

On with the (No) Show 

Totally agree with Swiss: naming the no-shows is the way to go! I have done the same.

Karin

When I get REALLY upset with someone, the word "fucker" is not strong enough to accurately describe how I feel about the person.

Carolyn, thank you for removing me. It will provide some distance and we may both feel better for it.

Thank you again for a lovely Christmas when I had no where else to go. Will never be forgotten.  

Kiss kiss

Ladies, 

get on with your lifes, and not about personal issues, misread or misinterpreted lines, even I understood Carolyn's post, lol, and than I am not from the UK. This is acutally about "no shows" .

Personally, I'd like to thank so many of you, which have dropped me line of support. So to the new line: name & shame for no shows @ dinner events.

Just for that record, we all organize events in our spare time - so a bid of respect is not too much to ask for.

Happy Monday and have a great week everyone. 

There are a few principles I try very hard to maintain when organising events on Glocals, bearing in mind that Glocals is a reflection/snapshot of society. I say this from the point of view of organising the Saturday Brunch in Lausanne :-

Let me just make this clear for once and all:

"Curry night" in Geneva means, Buffet style dinner with several diffrent dishes, help yourself as often as you wish.

Keep also in mind, the Restaurant has to get organized. ( All I can say, and all of us agreed, we had excellent food.)

Cost: Fr 30.-  

Guarantee: Minimum, 30 guests

So - why don't you try and organize a dinner for over 30 guests??

And, I / we are not "the glocals organizer's" which organize dinners - and get a comission.

My two last cents. 

Hi Swiss perhaps you have misunderstood some of the comments. I will only speak for mine. My comments are not a criticism of your desire to list the no shows. I rather appriciate your efforts to get people together to facilitate a nice dinner and these no shows have denied others who might have attended a chance to participate. I was only speaking about the site owners keeping an eye on each and every post. It is not their job to ensure participation. I look forward to joining one of your dinners in the near future.

Best,

V

Hi V.

Thanks for your comment, looking forward to meeting you one day on a curry event.

As for the organizer's from this site, we are going back "vineyards" = which means a very long time. 

 Until this day and age, we / I have never asked to the site owners to ensure participation. 

All what we are trying to get: an open ear to the no-show problems, which have been going on for years.

SWISS

Although I've made it clear (hopefully!) that I'm not a fan of "name & shame" because of its divisive nature - I think it's good to clarify that the emphasis is on "dinner events" as you say.

Or for that matter, any event that involves any kind of financial transaction whether between fellow glocals (my cinema nights onTuesdays for example) or between organisers and venues as in your case, where you needed, (if I understand it) a minimum of 30 people to secure a special price of CHF30.  

Anything else is really a minor inconvenience (in the great scheme of things).  

I had a hike yesterday where 2 people were no-shows.   I was surprised by one of them but he's since voluntarily sent an apology with very valid excuses.  I don't think it's worthy of a "name & shame".  

The other person annoyed me by "missing the train" as it meant I had to drive up the world's worst mountain track, when I could have jumped in someone else's car instead.  But should genuine rubbish planning by a participant be condemed to the "sin-bin"?

It begs another question however.  What qualifies  "name & shame" and when does a no-show make a real difference to an activity or is a major inconvenience to an organiser??? 

Who could have known that my comment about the word "fuckers" would go like that? Basically my comment was about manners in general, and it usually never goes well when a younger person talks to an older person about that.

Forgive me for "merging" my thoughts about no-shows with the thoughts about "spring cleaning" that people brought up in the thread concerning Nir's work on the Friend List. These are two separate issues.

@SWISS, I am sorry that forum readers had to see me be shamed publicly and taken off a friend list like that. It does, indeed, look like some sort of pathetic cat fight and it did quite distract from the issue of no-shows.

@Carolyn, (deep breath) yes, I am sensitive, and that's how I roll.  I try to toughen up a little bit more each day.

@Friends, please remove me from your friend list, for all our sakes, if you think my sensitivity is too challenging. I will not be offended as long as it is done in a tasteful manner.