Can't wait to see the replies on this....

Hang on in there girl!

(that was a lecherous wink btw)

It seems like you just put your ad on Glocals instead of the local newspaper.

Good Luck.

I'm sure your inbox will be full

This thread needs pictures -- of who needs the buddy!

if one is *that* horny then the list of requirements seems a bit much, surely anybody would do?  I'm free around 4.3o  :)

Come on... newspapers?!

As they say, "There's an app for that!"

In fact more than one: Badoo, AdopteUnMec, ...

So do I David.. so do I *grin*

Opps.. I guess I did Jonathan. But maybe i should have posted something a little bit more subtle, like this one http://www.glocals.com/things-to-do/events_view/geneva/63812.htm (no offense Izabel..)

Yours will be interesting as to who replys.  You mentioned he should be dumb as nails.  Perhaps you are safe and he can't use a computer.

Shouldn't that be "http://www.glocals.com/people-to-do"? 

"the dumb as nails" was just a joke ...as this all post really is :)

I'm not a genius/intello person, but I have some standards :))

@Paul: you're the best!! never heard of "AdopteUnMec" before... I just had a look and it looks fun!! Thank you

Brilliant!!

Go to a wine bar, sip your favorite grape juice, and cast interested glances and a few smiles toward interesting persons.  Simples.

I thought the last sentence was the whole point?

When you put it like this richardm, it does sound easy ...

Which bar would you recommend??

I think this is how its done...apparently :)

http://www.glocals.com/things-to-do/events_view/geneva/63812.htm

I have no idea.  I walked past a couple of neat places along Rue des Etuves on Tuesday.

It's just like playing bridge.. if you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand...

You're not single, you might not be the best person to ask

And Rue des Etuves is on the wrong side of the lake (joking... or maybe not!)

You get out of your comfort zone, go out there and meet people. With some you click, with some you don't...

Did I get married and nobody has told me?

I gotta stop drinking...

my bad richard.. for some reason I thought you were not single(doesn't mean you're married). then I will welcome all your recommendations :D

if you still feel like giving them.

No no, I prefer the version of "I got married and I don't remember it."  I just need someone to give me the story.  There has to be evidence on somebody's hard-drive somewhere...  When do I apply for an EU passport?  This is exciting!

Could this be one of the missing memories?

bar is the best place to find FB, you can select what you get.

Goodluck..

Waow Phoebe, a new picture as we debate over FwB... Trying to boost your chances? Smart move :-)

If I were doing that, I can tell you it's not really working...

:-/

Before I give you my humble opinion let me congratulate you for being brave enough to open such a tabu subject. As you can see for yourself, up to now responses come only from men. I find this a bit unfortunate since I'm pretty sure there are other women out there searching for more or less the same answers and we are missing their feedback.  

Well, it seems that I'm the first woman posting back on this thread..

If I were you, Phoebe, I would call a girlfriend because going drinking alone is not really fun and moreover hunting alone is really not fun at all. Then, pop with her in a nice wine bar and I'm pretty sure that some guys will come on you. If not, make it happen and come on them! If nothing happened at all, you would have had at least a nice evening with a friend.

Can't believe it is my first post on Glocals..

Thanks Ivan H :)) I would have loved to hear from other girls here too...

Please Ladies, lend a sistah a hand here!!

(I mean not that kind of hand ...duh)

Strangest things happened here Wisal!!

Thank you for being the 1st woman and you made a good point, I wouldn't like to go out in a bar on my own 

ha ha ha, "You can not play with me: I am not tamed".

W/b Phoebs  

If you fancy hunting in Chamonix, give me a shout! I just bought a really nice skirt today that I would love to try soon on some gentlemen 

Wow! Do guys really do that here?  I thought it was just in specialist Japanese videos

Great idea!! I'm due for a visit to Chamonix soon...

I'll gather my hunting equipment and let you know Wisal 

What is so surprising here Andy?? I'm not sure I follow your thoughts....

Awwwwwee.. Rena!! You remember this  and still very true

Hope you're well... we have to find time to meet up soon!

I thought it was only me who noticed that :)

Me too!

Explain gentlemen... please..... I am slow apparently (or so I've been told!)

"If not, make it happen and come on them!"

Schoolboy sniggers all round.....

 Then, pop with her in a nice wine bar and I'm pretty sure that some guys will come on you

Could cause a bit of a stir in a wine bar.

oohhh... you smart ass!! ah ah ah

You should be kind to non native speakers ;)

Don't mind the school boys. ;) It's impossible to remove that word from one's vocabulary. But you might want to use "hit on" instead. 

You guys make it all sound so easy though.... My understanding is, and corrrect me if I'm wrong, a "FB" (ehem) is not the same as a one night stand. 

Someone you turn to regularly for wholesome, uncomplcated, no-ties, mutually satisfactory sex

Thanks Lucy! That is exactly how I see it too... Hence the use of the terms FRIEND with benefits. It is mainly a person with whom you can still have a friendly relationship, have a discussion before or after you have sex...and all of that being simple, uncomplicated and fun.

Really not looking for one night stands :)

We should create a group in glocals - friends with benefits society - I'm sure it would attract a LOT of people...hehehehhe...

in that case you have two options

i) pick from your existing friends someone who you can have a conversation with before the uncomplicated fun bit. You have 62 on here, so lets say half of that are guys, take off a bit for the ones not single so leaves about.. 20 dudes to chose from. Pretty good odds you can find one who's up for simple boom boom once in a while without needing to take you out to dinner and buy you clothes. 

ii) as suggested before, go out and meet new friends. if they tick the boxes you require ask them back for coffee and say its just for fun, you don't want any strings anywhere. 

easy peasy 

Maybe you should think of getting a boyFRIEND it might as well be less complicated than a FwB and more fun 

Sorry, you are not right on the spot G___

None of the 62 friends in my network are an option ... and just for the records, I am not seriously looking for an answer here... I know what I need to do or not do. I was more curious to read people's reactions :p

@Ivan H: Meeting a real boy friend being such a challenge for me... I thought I would keep exploring my options and have fun, until I find the right one. Does it make sense?

Of course.... So the advice so far has been a bit off, me thinks. ;) Not so easy as has been portrayed. 

@G___  "Buying you clothes"??? 

Clearly I've had all the wrong boyfriends as none of them has ever bought me clothes....

did they buy you anything else? maybe something less extravagant like... sandwiches or a nice jar of olives? 

Yes, it makes sense. Futhermore, there is a good chance you'll meet the right one while you are exploring your options and having fun or at least you will figure out what you're searching for.

Yes.... My BF's have bought me sandwiches and various apero quality items. It wasn't a complaint. Just an observation that clothes was never a gift item. Maybe they are afraid they'll buy the wrong size. 

Anyway, I agree with Ivan. FwBs always seems a bit passionless. Find some one you totally crush out on. Even if it doesn't last so long you'll have had a much more vibrant experience than some plain toast FwB. 

Not sayin' that's easy to find either. But certainly more fun! 

Whatever you decide.... Enjoy!  

A very interesting (and relevant!) topic to raise indeed. Thanks for provoking a good and zeisty discussion

Here are my two cents on this issue: most countries in Europe, including Switzerland, are still rather patriarchal, to one degree or another, and men are the ones expected to approach women. When a woman takes an initiative, it is usually quite appreciated by men and she has quite high chances of getting what she wants...

So, my advice would be - be pro-active, get out there, go to bars or clubs, wine tastings, Halloween parties, language exchanges or what not, and show a bit of initiative - you will be rewarded . Getting a FB would then probably start as a one-night stand, and then develop into a more or less regular thing, if both parties are pleased and want to continue...

And - have fun in the process!

Thanks Mijo B! 

But if I may, not all men appreciate when the girl takes the initiative... or at least when she is the one telling them that she only wants a casual relationship...

On another topic, how do you adjust to the Geneva life after being in Lebanon for 3 years?!?? (I love this country...just came back this week actually!!)

Not all men do, of course, but I can tell you (based on my own non-scientific experience and talking to a large number of male friends) that probably 4 out of 5 would find that attractive.

Geneva after Lebanon... oh well, those two should not be compared, car ce sont deux vraiment differentes histoires. Geneva is more quiet and less vibrant than Beirut, so that will be the biggest challenge. Plus the weather of course...  But I do enjoy being in an organized city with reliable electricity and internet, on the other hand!

I just signed up today and was told to introduce myself in the forums. First thing — and I SWEAR — right below "Latest Forum Posts" is "Re: On the subject of Friends with Benefits!". I came here to find people to play Badminton with, but, hey, if that's what we talk about, I may as well …

… point out where the whole thread went astray. To quote… um… Phoebe's original question: "Does she need to find a second FB?"

No! No, no, no. You don't hire a guy if you can get an intern to do the job. Fill-ins are as easy to find as they come. (Pun overload!) For example, EXAMPLE, go on any, ANY, "adult" dating website (secret.ch comes to mind, a FriendsScout24 spin-off), post a picture of a woman, ANY woman, say you need it bad and where (the city you live in, but double-entendre this as you please), wait five minutes, go out to meet and greet. Virtually guaranteed to work for people unburdened by a penis. I speak from non-experience.

John

Hi Phoebe,

Although my last friend with benefits project has failed miserably, it seems to be an easy way to filter potential new candidates; as soon as you make a dirty joke or say something with double entendre within a group with few guys (colleagues, friends, acquaintances, etc) you`ll immediately see the sparkle in the eyes of the ones interested to come out and play ...it`s always helpful to have a big smile on your face ... sometimes it becomes funny to watch the guys getting competitive with the other males in getting your attention...

And afterall, if human touch is not really what you are after, one must not forget that we are blessed with supportive technology that doesn`t let us down and doesnt require much investment of time, energy or feelings...

...like shoes and clothes, mix and match :)

Maybe this one might be a bit too far, but what the hay.

This is for the guys who think Phoebe is serious.  (It's just a bit of fun, like she said). The real world is that girls simply don't look for FWBs.

I am a guy, and I am about 100 years old, (or feel it).  I'm from the days before FB (spam book) and FBs had even been invented.  We didn't have mobile phones and couldn't make booty-calls. 

In my day I've been around the block more than a few times, bars, discos, pubs and so on and I can say that the chance of a guy finding a FWB in one of these places is virtually zero.  I gave up using these places as a hunting ground after decades of spending more than a yellow Ferrari on booze.  

Advertising for a bump doesn't help either, unless you are into MSNing with some impoverished teen kid in a Nigerian Internet cafe posing as a girl.

No guys, the way to get laid is to have a job, and be passionate about something vaguely interesting to the opposite sex, (i.e. not chess or stamp collecting).  Then go out a lot.  You never meet many girls while playing Grand Theft Auto at home (in my day, the equivalent was building plastic air-fix tanks).  

As for topics of passion, to interest girls, football might just do it for a few girls (but not all together).  You'll be in more interesting territory if you can talk about fashion, cooking or making lots of money.

As for location, museums, church, plains, trains, boats, libraries, charity events, cat shows, cookery class are all better dives than any bar.  At least you already have a common topic of interest to discuss:

"that Egyptian mummy looks like Tony Blair, don't you think?" (Museum)

"This is my first time in a church. Who's that guy carrying a cross?" 

"I bet you're on your way to Zurich?" (On the plane)

Well this could get a little confusing  :)

Forget it. You don't even need to post a photo on those (or any!) sites to get men to contact you. Don't do the webdating thing.... 

Europe may be partiarchical, but at the end of the day, it's always the woman who decides even if she doesn't initiate. She gives the signal that it's OK for the man to approach or give the ice cold glare. 

But we have strayed from the original question of "Does Pheobe (or was it her friend?) need a second FwB"..... I think she needs BF. Really. The BF will be around more than the FwB, or at least we hope...... eliminating the need for the second. 

Now here's an important question that I've been pondering: What's the difference between a FwB and a lover? FwB sounds a bit boring. (Ok, it sounds really really boring...) 

(And John, aren't you glad you joined! ;) Much more interesting discussion than badmiton. ;) ) 

Well, to me sounds like a lover is a booty call.  A lover might be a friend, but not necessarily a good one.  Sounds like a lover would be more like someone you roll in bed with, but there might be not much aside from that.  Now, a FWB on the other hand, is someone you consider a good friend and you trust, but won't commit to.  So this person could be a lover, but then much more than that.

As far as your original question goes, I would suggest attending activities that you enjoy where you can meet people of the opposite sex, then open up and talk to guys that you might find interesting.  It really doesn't take more than a "hello" and a smile to start something.  Forget about your phone, and other stuff that keeps you from socializing face to face.  If you find a guy interesting then invite him for a coffee and be honest and straight forward with what you want.  As long as you don't send out conflicting messages, he'll get it.  If you are not sure about what you want, he won't know how to react.

Before I read the rest of the thread, Dhamari was the first woman to respond, although her picture might lead you to believe otherwise.

Now, to the actual question.....

The first thing to find out is why is the original FB not available and for how long? If it's only short-term, well, then, I don't think a second FB is *needed*.

But then again, we don't *need* two different kinds of wine bottles on the winerack or two flavors of ice cream in the freezer - but it's nice to have options. ;)

As to "how"....I really can't believe my eyes that a woman is asking how to find a FB. I thought all women on glocals with chat settings on got hundreds of "Hi, How are you?" all day long.

So, yes, go out to any venue and "be available". Join any number of glocals events and I'm sure you'll find someone there, too. Go out dancing and if someone you fancy asks you to dance, whisper something coy but unmistakeable and you could be dancing horizontally within the hour.

And although only one person has said so directly (wtg, Jonh!), I'm sure most if not all of the men here would gladly help a lady in distress. Twice if necessary. ;)

Good luck and report back on your findings, results, stats.

You're right. Tell you what, though… You got here first. So you'll be John H number 1, I'll be John H number 2.

Hey, Number 1!

And here we start .... 

I was having such a fun time with everybody's posts... *sigh*

Ohh no no no sweetheart ... it doesn't work like this, you don't get to call me a "whore" (yes, I found your choice of word offensive  ) and just pretend you were just joking. First you apologise then you can be buddies ...  

How about this as a new Group? Should be able to get a lot of 'members'! Fnarr! Fnarr! 

I guess you woke up on the wrong foot this morning. That would explain your bitchy mood. No worries, it's a beatiful day, enjoy Richdog  :))

so, care to reveal how many have PM'd you asking for more details?

Hey rich, i cant find this group, send me the link.

phoebe, add yourself and invite all your friends.

I liky more buddies if they need anything that moves , but only after motivation of fresh beer and no love talk.

Beer is better after, for best results.

yup. women who want sex = whores. me who want sex = studs.

thread done. ;)

Are you worried about the competition, David? 

Oh Lucy!! I need to buy you a drink buddy ;)

You and Lucy are buddies?! Sweet! 

Can always count on you to pick up on the small details Rich ;))

Happy to be of service, ma'am!

You said it, Lucy!

Well done!

Phoebe, you're a brave one; une provacateure...

Genlemen, respect is always appreciated.

Thank you Andrea Z! 

Sadly that link no longer exists...it was a bold (or crazy) attempt to find a man on here :)

To make it simple:

I'm just wondering.... did the thread help you to find someone? Or wasn't that your intention? :)

By the way Lucy, I would love to see the comments on this thread if it was created by a man. I'm not sure if all the women would call him a studd ;) 

Nowadays it is more acceptable for women to have a FB than a man having one. "The times they are a-changin'" ;)

Conclusion: Damned if you do. Damned if you don't. I'm sure. ;) 

If you're damned anyway...I rather be damned doing it ;)

So thats what they call them these days...?  It sounds less harsh than F... buddy

Actually... I'm quite sure focus is rather set on benefits than on the friends part.

'Friend' is a word that is often used too easily. At least a *uck buddy is more honest :)

I learnt something new :) didn't know it's called "Friends with benefits" Good luck in finding what you are looking for! 

ha ha ditto...

It’s only the name of the game that’s changed.

R.

Theres a game ??? ... ohhh wow ... :)

Well, a euphemism, let's say.

Your formula sounds about right!!

As for the number of messages I received...

this is an information I will not reveal

I didn't want to get sensored by the webby... so I went for the soft version with "friends" instead of "F***" buddy .. the goal is one and the same,

It's a wicked game.

That is why I guess people are turning to friends with benefits. they want to keep their hearts safe. Personally, as much as it stings when someone you crush out on decides they don't like you anymore, I'd rather that than a platonic (and probably unemotional?) thing. 

But we all have our preferences!  So, hopefully pheobe (or was it her friend?) finds what works for her. 

Imaginary friends have benefits too.

according to this study....

kids with imaginary friends are smarter. 

I wonder if I can use my imagination to invent a friend with benefits?   Will it do me any good?

Must go now, I have a few imaginary booty-calls to make. 

http://www.hlntv.com/article/2013/10/15/imaginary-friends-study-problem-solvers?hpt=hln10_3

Wasn’t there a word for this?  Haven’t heard it recently so maybe it’s gone out of fashion.

R.

In this era of politically correct and all... it doesn't surprised me really.

But because you haven't heard the word, doesn't mean they/we are not doing it

Thanks for the update.  Guess it could be considered reassuring, even if it is still under wraps.

And what are we talking about here?

I feel I am so slow..