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Organiser blues

Over the last ten years, I have organised a few activities:  a couple of hikes, a few drinks, a couple of museum visits, bike rides - whatever, with the idea of sharing what I think could be a fun idea or new location. Nobody obliges me, but there is a certain pressure, a responsibility, and weight of multiple expectations when you post - and certainly more so during COVID. Living between cities, I often post to two groups, and perhaps up to a couple of hundred people view an activity. I try to anticipate people's needs and make the details as clear as possible.


Perhaps we are all not in top shape after the events of the last 12 months, but recently it has been tougher than normal. Do people realise when they put their two cents in requesting a change, or sending 12 different weather reports on several platforms that it is irksome, that perhaps five other people messages the same day, and it is draining rather than fun, and that once the event has been posted, the decision has (with certain energy and effort) been made, and thought through, and changes could confuse many others? Do other adults turning up without carrying their responsibilities realise I already have a child that wants me to decide, provide and drive, and that I would like to relax and enjoy too? For all that we all live in cross-cultural realities, do people realise 'on time' can mean different things to different people and cut some slack? Is pointing out a typo really helping? Are some people so used to cutting down others online, they do so thoughtlessly and demotivate the few that make the effort and take the initiative in the face of partial lockdown and crappy weather? And don't get me started on RSVPing and not turning up. The effect can be cumulative. 


And yet I want to share little treasures and ideas, and welcome people for who they are and how they are and where they are at, and know that my efforts too are imperfect, and I value their time, effort and presence in turning up. 


Is there a way to organise events with more sense of community, grace, consideration, and appreciation? Could people value other's efforts enough to be supportive, or does everything just fall on the shoulders of one individual, with the added weight of criticism, others' irresponsibility, and that is just the way it is? 


Do people value that others organise activities? Could give their actions and contribution more thought?


Perhaps I just need to decide to buck up and whether I want to post any more activities. I would be just as happy to join other's activities, but there is so little happening that it comes down to if I don't, few will. 


Any ideas to improve how activities unfold? Or should I just decide to either to take it on the chin, or stop hosting events all together?


My (imperfect) best,


E


 

The text you are quoting:

Over the last ten years, I have organised a few activities:  a couple of hikes, a few drinks, a couple of museum visits, bike rides - whatever, with the idea of sharing what I think could be a fun idea or new location. Nobody obliges me, but there is a certain pressure, a responsibility, and weight of multiple expectations when you post - and certainly more so during COVID. Living between cities, I often post to two groups, and perhaps up to a couple of hundred people view an activity. I try to anticipate people's needs and make the details as clear as possible.


Perhaps we are all not in top shape after the events of the last 12 months, but recently it has been tougher than normal. Do people realise when they put their two cents in requesting a change, or sending 12 different weather reports on several platforms that it is irksome, that perhaps five other people messages the same day, and it is draining rather than fun, and that once the event has been posted, the decision has (with certain energy and effort) been made, and thought through, and changes could confuse many others? Do other adults turning up without carrying their responsibilities realise I already have a child that wants me to decide, provide and drive, and that I would like to relax and enjoy too? For all that we all live in cross-cultural realities, do people realise 'on time' can mean different things to different people and cut some slack? Is pointing out a typo really helping? Are some people so used to cutting down others online, they do so thoughtlessly and demotivate the few that make the effort and take the initiative in the face of partial lockdown and crappy weather? And don't get me started on RSVPing and not turning up. The effect can be cumulative. 


And yet I want to share little treasures and ideas, and welcome people for who they are and how they are and where they are at, and know that my efforts too are imperfect, and I value their time, effort and presence in turning up. 


Is there a way to organise events with more sense of community, grace, consideration, and appreciation? Could people value other's efforts enough to be supportive, or does everything just fall on the shoulders of one individual, with the added weight of criticism, others' irresponsibility, and that is just the way it is? 


Do people value that others organise activities? Could give their actions and contribution more thought?


Perhaps I just need to decide to buck up and whether I want to post any more activities. I would be just as happy to join other's activities, but there is so little happening that it comes down to if I don't, few will. 


Any ideas to improve how activities unfold? Or should I just decide to either to take it on the chin, or stop hosting events all together?


My (imperfect) best,


E


 


ElizabethMH HApr 16, 2021 @ 20:53
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Re: Organiser blues
Post 1

Hear hear ! Couldn't have put it better myself and THANK YOU for speaking out (someone finally daring to....), Ellizabeth. I just don't think people are taught common courtesy or even the basics of social standards and graces anymore (it's all just demands, entitlement and me, me me). Or so it at least seems. Perhaps is just a "local phenomenon", though, what with many major cities in Switzerland to a large extent subject to "short term-stays", opening up to this irresponsible "who cares"-type of attitide, and not sure..... 

The text you are quoting:

Hear hear ! Couldn't have put it better myself and THANK YOU for speaking out (someone finally daring to....), Ellizabeth. I just don't think people are taught common courtesy or even the basics of social standards and graces anymore (it's all just demands, entitlement and me, me me). Or so it at least seems. Perhaps is just a "local phenomenon", though, what with many major cities in Switzerland to a large extent subject to "short term-stays", opening up to this irresponsible "who cares"-type of attitide, and not sure..... 


Eva D, Apr 17, 2021 @ 12:55
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Post 2

That said and just to be clear - The exception to this geneal rule and impression of mine also being the Swiss themselves; always super-polite, kind, considerate, punctual, courteous, help and respectful (bless their hearts and a big THANK YOU to you all for putting up with the rest of us badly-behaves in your wonderful  home country !) 

The text you are quoting:

That said and just to be clear - The exception to this geneal rule and impression of mine also being the Swiss themselves; always super-polite, kind, considerate, punctual, courteous, help and respectful (bless their hearts and a big THANK YOU to you all for putting up with the rest of us badly-behaves in your wonderful  home country !) 


Eva D, Apr 17, 2021 @ 13:03
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Re: Organiser blues
Post 3

Thank you for the gestures of support on this thread and in private message. 


The issues I raise are not new or unique to me - the difference is I have found the tone, treatment, and frankly harassment before, and sometimes after (and I have not included the harder experiences so as not to distract from my point) an event in recent times tougher than pre-COVID. Perhaps, as I said, this is a reflection of the fact that we have all been affected by the events of the last 12 months, come out a bit rougher, and this affects communication and treatment of others. 


As mentioned, the effect is cumulative. When you see a post and message - keep in mind you do not know what else or what frequency had hit that person's inbox, or the effort invested in setting up an event.


People complain there are fewer events being posted, and yet do not think to be more supportive and thoughtful of organisers. I knew of several organisiers that have voiced grievances along the lines of my original post that choose to no longer initiate events as they are worn down by lack of consideration. 


If you would like events to continue to be posted, be supportive of the people that initiate them - seems to be common sense and common courtesy to me.


My best,


E

The text you are quoting:

Thank you for the gestures of support on this thread and in private message. 


The issues I raise are not new or unique to me - the difference is I have found the tone, treatment, and frankly harassment before, and sometimes after (and I have not included the harder experiences so as not to distract from my point) an event in recent times tougher than pre-COVID. Perhaps, as I said, this is a reflection of the fact that we have all been affected by the events of the last 12 months, come out a bit rougher, and this affects communication and treatment of others. 


As mentioned, the effect is cumulative. When you see a post and message - keep in mind you do not know what else or what frequency had hit that person's inbox, or the effort invested in setting up an event.


People complain there are fewer events being posted, and yet do not think to be more supportive and thoughtful of organisers. I knew of several organisiers that have voiced grievances along the lines of my original post that choose to no longer initiate events as they are worn down by lack of consideration. 


If you would like events to continue to be posted, be supportive of the people that initiate them - seems to be common sense and common courtesy to me.


My best,


E


ElizabethMH H, Apr 18, 2021 @ 18:02
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Re: Organiser blues
Post 4

It's tough organising, you get a lot of unhelpful attitudes such as:


-I like the idea but I have a better one, that I shall now mention but not follow up on.


-I like the idea but I want a different date, though I probably won't commit in any case? Anyhow, everybody needs to change their plans for my sake.


-I'll sign up and not show up, or show up with more people than expected (which can be an issue, for example re Covid restrictions).


-I don't like the weather you have arranged for this event.


 I think one answer is to decide for the whole group and not for the vocal critic, 20% of people create 80% of problems, and they should be heard but not decide. Another is to have a core group of 3 or 4 people agreeing what they want to do, and open it up to a larger audience in a "take it or leave it" kind of way. And if someone has reservations they can create their own event.


 But the main thing is for people to realise this isnt an easy thing to do, and to be just happy to be there. As an attendee, those are also the people who are nice to talk to, not those who are bugged by this or that aspect of a situation.


 Thank you to all who organise things to do, in any case! If there is one downside to living in Switzerland, except for the cost of living, it's that it can be boring.

The text you are quoting:

It's tough organising, you get a lot of unhelpful attitudes such as:


-I like the idea but I have a better one, that I shall now mention but not follow up on.


-I like the idea but I want a different date, though I probably won't commit in any case? Anyhow, everybody needs to change their plans for my sake.


-I'll sign up and not show up, or show up with more people than expected (which can be an issue, for example re Covid restrictions).


-I don't like the weather you have arranged for this event.


 I think one answer is to decide for the whole group and not for the vocal critic, 20% of people create 80% of problems, and they should be heard but not decide. Another is to have a core group of 3 or 4 people agreeing what they want to do, and open it up to a larger audience in a "take it or leave it" kind of way. And if someone has reservations they can create their own event.


 But the main thing is for people to realise this isnt an easy thing to do, and to be just happy to be there. As an attendee, those are also the people who are nice to talk to, not those who are bugged by this or that aspect of a situation.


 Thank you to all who organise things to do, in any case! If there is one downside to living in Switzerland, except for the cost of living, it's that it can be boring.


Francois F, Apr 19, 2021 @ 11:29
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Re: Organiser blues
Post 5

If ever I post an event in the future, I will be asking there not be inappropriate comments against people's nationalities or gender, that individual tailoring of activities and logistics are not workable, and that everyone attending be responsible for themselves and respectful of others. It should not be necessary to say these things, but this has been the case of late. 


Taking a break from posting events. 


Enjoy the good weather and open terraces.


My best,


E

The text you are quoting:

If ever I post an event in the future, I will be asking there not be inappropriate comments against people's nationalities or gender, that individual tailoring of activities and logistics are not workable, and that everyone attending be responsible for themselves and respectful of others. It should not be necessary to say these things, but this has been the case of late. 


Taking a break from posting events. 


Enjoy the good weather and open terraces.


My best,


E


ElizabethMH H, Apr 20, 2021 @ 09:59
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Re: Organiser blues
Post 6

Well.......


At the risk of not getting any complementary, popularity-boosting points, and the possibility of critisism and hate mail (worth noting that I don't care btw)........I'm in the "never complain/never explain" camp (perhaps it's my Britishness?). 


In the following blurb, I'm using the generic "you", it's not a personal attack on anyone's ideas or views.


As an organiser of almost 300 events and attendee of several 100 more, I can only offer the following suggestions to avoid "Organiser Blues" (and maybe life in general):


1.  Post something YOU want to do - if someone else turns up, great, if no-one turns up, also great.  It's something you want to do - so do it. Yeah, it's great that you want to share something, but accept that other people may not have the same wishes.


2.  Be clear in your posting as to the time and date and what's involved.  It may sound harsh, but I always put "THE ONE AND ONLY MEETING PLACE" and don't tolerate the "but can I meet you somewhere else" crew.  Keep it simple.  Be firm, but polite.


3.  If people bring extra friends, extra dogs, extra kids, be firm and tell them that it is not acceptable (if it's contrary to your post, obviously!) and tell them that they are on their own and responsible for themselves.  Again, be firm, but polite.


4.  There are several ways to post, by invitation only, only to your friends etc..  Keep a secret "hit list".  If someone has been a pain in the arse more than once and they sign up, then just remove them from the event with a polite private note, explaining why.


5.  Take responsibility for your posts.  Own them.  Don't blame others when something goes wrong.  Accept people's mistakes, but don't let others' mistakes interfere with, or change your plans.


And remember, no-one is asking you to organise events.  It's a choice you make and with it, comes the responsibility of owning that choice.


Yes, it's been a shit year for so many but also presented so many opportunities for more select, intimate groups and finding true friendships. 


So can we please stop blaming COVID for everything.


Thank you.  Cx


 

The text you are quoting:

Well.......


At the risk of not getting any complementary, popularity-boosting points, and the possibility of critisism and hate mail (worth noting that I don't care btw)........I'm in the "never complain/never explain" camp (perhaps it's my Britishness?). 


In the following blurb, I'm using the generic "you", it's not a personal attack on anyone's ideas or views.


As an organiser of almost 300 events and attendee of several 100 more, I can only offer the following suggestions to avoid "Organiser Blues" (and maybe life in general):


1.  Post something YOU want to do - if someone else turns up, great, if no-one turns up, also great.  It's something you want to do - so do it. Yeah, it's great that you want to share something, but accept that other people may not have the same wishes.


2.  Be clear in your posting as to the time and date and what's involved.  It may sound harsh, but I always put "THE ONE AND ONLY MEETING PLACE" and don't tolerate the "but can I meet you somewhere else" crew.  Keep it simple.  Be firm, but polite.


3.  If people bring extra friends, extra dogs, extra kids, be firm and tell them that it is not acceptable (if it's contrary to your post, obviously!) and tell them that they are on their own and responsible for themselves.  Again, be firm, but polite.


4.  There are several ways to post, by invitation only, only to your friends etc..  Keep a secret "hit list".  If someone has been a pain in the arse more than once and they sign up, then just remove them from the event with a polite private note, explaining why.


5.  Take responsibility for your posts.  Own them.  Don't blame others when something goes wrong.  Accept people's mistakes, but don't let others' mistakes interfere with, or change your plans.


And remember, no-one is asking you to organise events.  It's a choice you make and with it, comes the responsibility of owning that choice.


Yes, it's been a shit year for so many but also presented so many opportunities for more select, intimate groups and finding true friendships. 


So can we please stop blaming COVID for everything.


Thank you.  Cx


 


Carolyn C, Apr 20, 2021 @ 10:15
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Re: Organiser blues
Post 7

If ever I post an event in the future, I will be asking there not be inappropriate comments against people's nationalities or gender, that individual tailoring of activities and logistics are not workable, and that everyone attending be responsible for themselves and respectful of others. It should not be necessary to say these things, but this has been the case of late. 

Taking a break from posting events. 

Enjoy the good weather and open terraces.

My best,

E


Apr 20, 21 09:59

In 12 years of organising and attendees Glocals activities, I have NEVER had "inappropriate comments against people's nationalities or gender".


If it's in the public domain, then Site Admin will take care of it.  If it's in the private domain, then you must report it to Site Admin as the Glocals community does not tolerate any comments or suggestions of this sort.

The text you are quoting:

In 12 years of organising and attendees Glocals activities, I have NEVER had "inappropriate comments against people's nationalities or gender".


If it's in the public domain, then Site Admin will take care of it.  If it's in the private domain, then you must report it to Site Admin as the Glocals community does not tolerate any comments or suggestions of this sort.


Carolyn C, Apr 20, 2021 @ 10:21
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Re: Organiser blues
Post 8

Hahahaha ! How funny and soooo spot on ! What happens  then though - and sadly - is that people just don't organize anything on here anymore ( like myself; I haven't organized anything on here for over 2 years now. Nothing to do with Covid and everything to do with the general disrespect and nonchalance. Also and btw - have my own kids. Dont feel like being the mama and teaching full-grown adults how to behave, which, really, they should know for themselves and a least at the age of say........ 30 ). And then you, of course and as sure as amen in the church, get the same lot complaining about THAT Cool !. Total  loose-loose, what and you just can't win either way, now can you and hahahaha! 

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Hahahaha ! How funny and soooo spot on ! What happens  then though - and sadly - is that people just don't organize anything on here anymore ( like myself; I haven't organized anything on here for over 2 years now. Nothing to do with Covid and everything to do with the general disrespect and nonchalance. Also and btw - have my own kids. Dont feel like being the mama and teaching full-grown adults how to behave, which, really, they should know for themselves and a least at the age of say........ 30 ). And then you, of course and as sure as amen in the church, get the same lot complaining about THAT Cool !. Total  loose-loose, what and you just can't win either way, now can you and hahahaha! 


Eva D, Apr 20, 2021 @ 10:50
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Re: Organiser blues
Post 9

PS. Above with ref. to Francois' post and sorry, something clearly went wrong in the posting-part there and oops......... 

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PS. Above with ref. to Francois' post and sorry, something clearly went wrong in the posting-part there and oops......... 


Eva D, Apr 20, 2021 @ 10:51
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Re: Organiser blues
Post 10

Dear Carolyn,


I agree with your how tos, and believe that is what I do. In the five years I have posted events, this is the first time people were so rude. Perhaps it is a COVID shake off.


Cheers,


 

The text you are quoting:

Dear Carolyn,


I agree with your how tos, and believe that is what I do. In the five years I have posted events, this is the first time people were so rude. Perhaps it is a COVID shake off.


Cheers,


 


ElizabethMH H, Apr 22, 2021 @ 13:49
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Re: Organiser blues
Post 11

To clarify after feedback from a friend reading this thread - while my concerns are echoed by other organisers, my events are well laid out - (thank you Carolyn;) most of my events went very well. I pushed through poor weather and lockdown, and received harassment in messaging before, during, and after two events. I think it was a reflection of people's state at the time, and the nature of the event, which I will not repeat. 


At the same time, it would be good for participants to be mindful of their organiser if  not out of common consideration, then just if they want repeat events. 


Enjoy the improved weather and social vibe everyone. 


Cheers,


E


 


 

The text you are quoting:

To clarify after feedback from a friend reading this thread - while my concerns are echoed by other organisers, my events are well laid out - (thank you Carolyn;) most of my events went very well. I pushed through poor weather and lockdown, and received harassment in messaging before, during, and after two events. I think it was a reflection of people's state at the time, and the nature of the event, which I will not repeat. 


At the same time, it would be good for participants to be mindful of their organiser if  not out of common consideration, then just if they want repeat events. 


Enjoy the improved weather and social vibe everyone. 


Cheers,


E


 


 


ElizabethMH H, Apr 25, 2021 @ 10:26
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