As a Canadian I have to speak up. Every stereotype is true.... Each and everyone eh.



I have to get back to my ski-doo, I am double parked and I have to get back to work. Logs don't cut themselves down and maple syrup doesn't sell itself.



Good day, eh.



JMfromTO, Jun 27, 2009 @ 21:14

[quote]

On the subject of seal stew...



Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010

Winter Olympics these are some questions people the

world over are asking!!!!



Believe it or not these questions about Canada were

posted on an International Tourism Website. Obviously

the answers are a joke; but the questions were really

asked.

Q:I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do

the plants grow?(UK)

A:We import all plants fully grown and then just sit

around and watch them die.



Q:Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street?

(USA)

A:Depends on how much you've been drinking.



Q:I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto-can I

follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden)

A:Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of

water.



Q:Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada?

(Sweden)

A:So it's true what they say about Swedes.



Q:It is imperative that I find the names and addresses

of places to Contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)

A:Let's not touch this one.



Q:Are there any ATM's(cash machines) in Canada? Can

you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver,

Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)

A:What did your last slave die of?

Q:Can you give me some information about hippo racing

in Canada? (USA )

A:A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south

of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your

North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every

Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.



Q:Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)

A:Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when

you get here and we'll send the rest of the

directions.



Q:Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)

A:Why? Just use your fingers like we do.



Q:Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule?

(USA)

A:Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering

Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna

Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and

in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come

naked.



Q:Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)

A:No, WE don't stink.



Q:I have developed a new product that is the fountain

of youth. Can you sell it in Canada? (USA)

A:Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.



Q:Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia

where the female population is smaller than the male

population? (Italy)

A:Yes, gay nightclubs.



Q:Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)

A:Only at Thanksgiving.



Q:Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk

available all year round? (Germany)

A:No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan

hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.



Q:I have a question about a famous animal in Canada,

but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with

horns. (USA)

A:It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent,

eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You

can scare them off by spraying yourself with human

urine before you go out walking.



Q:Will I be able to speak English most places I go?

(USA)

A:Yes, but you will have to learn it first. [/quote]



actual converstation heard at a las vegas blackjack table:



american girl to to dealer: so where are you from?

dealer: toronto.

girl: is that like in vegas?

dealer: its in canada.

girl: so thats like utah or something?

dealer: no, its another country.

girl`s friend: oh i just saw a movie about that. (goes on to describe movie about idi amin and uganda).



floydmarks, Jun 27, 2009 @ 22:09

hmmm a friend posted me a link to an Australian tourism site which had the same questions and answers! Except the moose one...obviously doing the rounds. It was a little funnier cause some idiots would confuse Austria and Africa with Australia   :D 
CatALiNa6, Jun 27, 2009 @ 23:24

ooooooh well, anyway, Australia or Canada, it is funny. Who cares about the inventor...  :D
Mischkina, Jun 28, 2009 @ 03:27

Canadian's are a bunch of hosers :w00t:

Ok for those that don't know much about Canada you can watch a TV program called Bob and Doug McKenzie, was the first time "Canadians" where shown on TV in the US and it is actually why 99% of the US and most of the world thinks we are a bunch of beer drinking, beacon eating, toque wearing hosers.

Get your fill of Bob and Doug videos here:

http://video.google.com/videosearch?q=%22bob+and+doug+mckenzie%22

Lesson about the Great White North aka Canada from Bob & Doug:

Also Here is a Funny Wierd Al Video/Song about a "Canadian Idiot"

Canadian, Jun 28, 2009 @ 13:09

uuuh, terrible... i don't understand the sense of showing that kind of artificial stupidity...
Mischkina, Jun 28, 2009 @ 22:38

I liked Weird Al's version of American Idiot! :D
cecileva, Jun 29, 2009 @ 10:45

I'd seen the same questions applied to Australia



Which would make more sense for the question, confusing Austria with Australia



Q:Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule?(USA)



A:Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering

Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna

Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and

in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come

naked.

britabroad, Jul 1, 2009 @ 13:34

Again.

Of course you're both right. Or.. I agree both Britaboard and CatALiNA6..

It sounds more logical with Australia, but the "aussies" didn't yet ask for their author rights... probably, if I know a bit about australians, they don't care (same as me) if Canadians or Australians.. or whoever published it firs, it is just funny. :)

Don't need to think deeper in those questions... ;)

And the one with the moose is also a funny one. May be is this one from a canadian? we will probably never know the truly truth... I will sleep well anyway...
Mischkina, Jul 1, 2009 @ 16:07

The additional Aussie ones are



Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)

A: You are a British politician, right?

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)

A: Only at Christmas.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)

A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA)

A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

Q: Are there killer bees in Australia? (Germany)

A: Not yet, but for you, we'll import them.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)

A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter gatherers. Milk is illegal.



They are all funny even if made up, I guess the real questions asked by tourists would be too unbelievable..



britabroad, Jul 1, 2009 @ 16:19

Hey, I have a genuine Canada-related question! This may be stupid, but I've noticed that some Canadian musicians that I like (Feist, Melissa Auf der Maur) and some I don't (Avril Lavigne), release French versions of their songs and videos. I was just wondering if there was some kind of a rule about this. Is there a quota that has to be met or is it just selon les voeux des musiciens? Or is it just an attempt to reach a wider audience?

Sorry if this is a ridiculous question but I'm intrigued!:)
Beibhinn, Jul 10, 2009 @ 15:12

 

In Canada there is a big divide between the French part and the English part, so a lot of the main stream popular singers are reluctant to release in French.  Some singers such as Celine Dion are well loved and respect globally, but in the English part of Canada she has become some what a mascot of shame for Canada.  Having said that she still gets a lot of play in Canada, but gets a lot of flack, even in the Canadian Idiot song above you have reference to her being the one bad thing about Canada.

So its more a political issue rather then some quota/rule in the music business.  As for the most part the French part of Canada has different music then the rest of Canada which is more in line with the US trends.  The combination of the English part of Canada not to keen on the French part along with the small potential demand for French songs just makes it not something you commonly will get.
Canadian, Jul 10, 2009 @ 15:52

Thanks for settling that Canadian! I'm sure you're sick by now of people's silly questions about the French/English divide, but it really is fascinating!
Beibhinn, Jul 11, 2009 @ 15:40