A couple were Christmas shopping. The shopping centre was packed , and as the wife walked through one of the malls she was surprised when she looked around to find that her husband was nowhere to be seen.

She was quite upset because they had a lot to do and so she became so worried that she called him on her mobile phone to ask him where he was.

In a quiet voice he said, "Do you remember the jewelers we went into about five years ago where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we couldn't afford, and I told you that I would get it for you one day?"

The wife choked up and started to cry and said, "Yes, I do remember that shop."

He replied, "Well, I'm in the pub next door."

IF YOU SEE A FAT MAN 

Who's jolly and cute, 

Wearing a beard and a red 
flannel suit, 

And if he is chuckling and 
laughing away, 

While flying around in a 
miniature sleigh, 

With eight tiny reindeer to pull him along, 

Then let's face it... 

You're probably pissed! 



Merry Christmas and 
a Happy 2014