SEX AT 73
I just took a leaflet out of my mailbox,
informing me that I can have sex at 73.
I'm so happy, because I live at number 71.
So it's not too far to walk home afterwards.
And it's the same side of the street.
I don't even have to cross the road!
 
~~~~~
 
Answering machine message,
"I am not available right now,
But thank you for caring enough to call.
I am making some changes in my life.
Please leave a message after the beep.
If I do not return your call,
you are one of the changes."
 
~~~~~
 
My wife and I had words,
but I didn't get to use mine.
 
~~~~~
 
Frustration is trying to find your glasses
without your glasses.
 
~~~~~
 
Blessed are those who can
give without remembering
and take without forgetting.
 
~~~~~
 
The irony of life is that,
by the time you're old enough
to know your way around,
you're not going anywhere.
 
~~~~~
 
God made man before woman
so as to give him time
to think of an answer
for her first question.
 
~~~~~
 
I was always taught to respect my elders,
but it keeps getting harder to find one.
 
~~~~~
 
Every morning is the dawn of a new error.
 
~~~~~
 
 
Aspire to inspire before you expire.