Ive just watched this sad and moving video by a young girl who was bullied so much, that she felt she had to kill herself.
So, my question is , what can we do to stop the bullying ?
It doesnt matter whether its Social, Network or Physical bullying, the results are all the same, someone suffers becasue of the words, written or spoken by another.
Ive just watched this sad and moving video by a young girl who was bullied so much, that she felt she had to kill herself.
So, my question is , what can we do to stop the bullying ?
It doesnt matter whether its Social, Network or Physical bullying, the results are all the same, someone suffers becasue of the words, written or spoken by another.
Yes the fact that someone, used the pictures unlawfully , and nothing was done is quite incredible, as well as the fact that nothing was done to the people who were telling her she should kill her self is quite beyond my comprehension
Yes the fact that someone, used the pictures unlawfully , and nothing was done is quite incredible, as well as the fact that nothing was done to the people who were telling her she should kill her self is quite beyond my comprehension
A very sad movie.
In the U.S., some states have tried to devise laws to deal with internet/social network bullying. However some people oppose these efforts saying that they impinge upon freedom of speech. It is interesting when also put into context of what people believe is and isn't hate speech. Some other might say that such laws and propositons are 'social engineering.'
A very sad movie.
In the U.S., some states have tried to devise laws to deal with internet/social network bullying. However some people oppose these efforts saying that they impinge upon freedom of speech. It is interesting when also put into context of what people believe is and isn't hate speech. Some other might say that such laws and propositons are 'social engineering.'
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_v._Lori_Drew
Just read an article about her death, and I'm shocked as I'm always when I read that such thing happened.
Can we stop bullying ? No. Unless people change.
I believe there will have always a few people sick enough to bully others and find it cool.
Rip Amanda T.
Just read an article about her death, and I'm shocked as I'm always when I read that such thing happened.
Can we stop bullying ? No. Unless people change.
I believe there will have always a few people sick enough to bully others and find it cool.
Rip Amanda T.
I agree. I've seen more of this sort of thing since being in Geneva than in my entire previous career. It comes mostly from incompetent management.
I agree. I've seen more of this sort of thing since being in Geneva than in my entire previous career. It comes mostly from incompetent management.
... and the answer is GROW A PAIR FFS! Yes, it's a very sad story but without pretending to be a psychologist, I could tell from her style that it was all in her head, she was posing as a victim the whole time and falling in self-pitty. Outside factors cannot get to you unless you let them, one needs to stand up for themselves. It also makes you wonder where her parents were the whole time. Oh and she can't spell.
I'm sorry if I'm hurting some sensitivities here.
... and the answer is GROW A PAIR FFS! Yes, it's a very sad story but without pretending to be a psychologist, I could tell from her style that it was all in her head, she was posing as a victim the whole time and falling in self-pitty. Outside factors cannot get to you unless you let them, one needs to stand up for themselves. It also makes you wonder where her parents were the whole time. Oh and she can't spell.
I'm sorry if I'm hurting some sensitivities here.
Thanks Karl for posting ! Extremely touching !
Amanda just recently killed herself. Or should I say got killed ?
Frightening that no one acted at least not successfully to prevent this.
http://www.facebook.com/pages/RIP-Amanda-Todd/472606062784532
Karl, how can we prevent this ?
By looking at the situation, standing up, speaking out loud, taking a position and getting in the way of the bully. That is not easy at all, it's tough and it is a burden and challenge and comes with many risks.
Draw a line on the (virtual) floor and tell or better yell at the bully: Although not involved, you crossed the line of my tolerance. Step back. Now!
It's the silence that kills.
@Andy: People (here) believe that not taking sides is "neutral". It is not!
Thanks Karl for posting ! Extremely touching !
Amanda just recently killed herself. Or should I say got killed ?
Frightening that no one acted at least not successfully to prevent this.
http://www.facebook.com/pages/RIP-Amanda-Todd/472606062784532
Karl, how can we prevent this ?
By looking at the situation, standing up, speaking out loud, taking a position and getting in the way of the bully. That is not easy at all, it's tough and it is a burden and challenge and comes with many risks.
Draw a line on the (virtual) floor and tell or better yell at the bully: Although not involved, you crossed the line of my tolerance. Step back. Now!
It's the silence that kills.
@Andy: People (here) believe that not taking sides is "neutral". It is not!
... and the answer is GROW A PAIR FFS! Yes, it's a very sad story but without pretending to be a psychologist, I could tell from her style that it was all in her head, she was posing as a victim the whole time and falling in self-pitty. Outside factors cannot get to you unless you let them, one needs to stand up for themselves. It also makes you wonder where her parents were the whole time. Oh and she can't spell.
I'm sorry if I'm hurting some sensitivities here.
Im sorry but this is not the answer... Not all people have the strength to get through the kind of bully ing she went through. I agree with you that taking the stance as a victim doesnt help. However I was more concerned as to HOW CAN WE STOP this kind or any kind of bullying. You have no idea of what was in her head, only she knew that. What we do know is that it took a great deal of courage to post this on youtube, and no matter what, it took a great deal of sadness to and despair to end her life.
I was bullied constantly at school, my parents did nothing, the teachers did nothing, and the kids continued. For me it lasted 3 years, in the end my only choice was to leave school in my final year, before taking my exams, because i couldnt take any more.
Catlin not everyone has the strength to stand up for themselves, nor do they all have the support of a loving family. So who do they turn to for help.
Ive been there, felt the pain, i survived, so im concerned with helping the very ones who dont know which way to turn.
Im sorry but this is not the answer... Not all people have the strength to get through the kind of bully ing she went through. I agree with you that taking the stance as a victim doesnt help. However I was more concerned as to HOW CAN WE STOP this kind or any kind of bullying. You have no idea of what was in her head, only she knew that. What we do know is that it took a great deal of courage to post this on youtube, and no matter what, it took a great deal of sadness to and despair to end her life.
I was bullied constantly at school, my parents did nothing, the teachers did nothing, and the kids continued. For me it lasted 3 years, in the end my only choice was to leave school in my final year, before taking my exams, because i couldnt take any more.
Catlin not everyone has the strength to stand up for themselves, nor do they all have the support of a loving family. So who do they turn to for help.
Ive been there, felt the pain, i survived, so im concerned with helping the very ones who dont know which way to turn.
Im sorry but this is not the answer... Not all people have the strength to get through the kind of bully ing she went through. I agree with you that taking the stance as a victim doesnt help. However I was more concerned as to HOW CAN WE STOP this kind or any kind of bullying. You have no idea of what was in her head, only she knew that. What we do know is that it took a great deal of courage to post this on youtube, and no matter what, it took a great deal of sadness to and despair to end her life.
I was bullied constantly at school, my parents did nothing, the teachers did nothing, and the kids continued. For me it lasted 3 years, in the end my only choice was to leave school in my final year, before taking my exams, because i couldnt take any more.
Catlin not everyone has the strength to stand up for themselves, nor do they all have the support of a loving family. So who do they turn to for help.
Ive been there, felt the pain, i survived, so im concerned with helping the very ones who dont know which way to turn.
There is a trendy expression that you probably heard ... "first world problems". Around 24 000 children die from not having food or medicines every year. THEY really don't have a choice, that teenager did. If I wanted to be concerned about something, I would rather be concerned about something like that. Not trying to hijack the thread, just putting things in perspective.
Oh and before I forget, you grow a pair too!
There is a trendy expression that you probably heard ... "first world problems". Around 24 000 children die from not having food or medicines every year. THEY really don't have a choice, that teenager did. If I wanted to be concerned about something, I would rather be concerned about something like that. Not trying to hijack the thread, just putting things in perspective.
Oh and before I forget, you grow a pair too!
FYI, Catalin, about six million children die of hunger every year. As for lack of medication for kids, it has become a global problem; over nine million children under five years old die every year, mostly from conditions that could be easily treated with safe & effective medicines. That is more than 15 million kids right there, not counting children over 5 who die because they have no access to proper meds, so I really do not know where you found your statistic on child mortality...
FYI, Catalin, about six million children die of hunger every year. As for lack of medication for kids, it has become a global problem; over nine million children under five years old die every year, mostly from conditions that could be easily treated with safe & effective medicines. That is more than 15 million kids right there, not counting children over 5 who die because they have no access to proper meds, so I really do not know where you found your statistic on child mortality...
Communication and education are essential here! Abuse and intimidation -- whether they are physical, verbal or emotional -- have no place at home, in schools, at the office or anywhere else. Hopefully it will not take a few dozen bullycides (i.e., suicides of bullying victims or, in some cases, the killing of the bully by his/her victim) for strong community partnerships to be created and effective prevention strategies implemented.
I have used the Stop Bullying "Community Action Toolkit" several times before -- in classrooms, boardrooms, and beyond. Stop Bullying is a very useful Website (http://www.stopbullying.gov/) run by the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services. They offer a great (free!) module, the "Bullying Prevention & Response Base Training Module", which provides research-based resources to help you assess and drive bullying prevention efforts in your community. I strongly urge people to pay attention to this and create an action plan if they care enough to want to effect measurable changes around them, as bullying prevention and response principles apply here as much as the U.S.!
For more info, go to this page: http://www.stopbullying.gov/prevention/in-the-community/index.html - Community Strategies
The comprehensive Stop Bullying prevention & response module can be accessed here (NB: it is available as a PowerPoint presentation or in PDF format with speaker notes): http://www.stopbullying.gov/prevention/in-the-community/community-action-planning/index.html
The toolkit is quite comprehensive and, as mentioned on the Stop Bullying Website, "includes materials to create a community event using the research, ideas and bullying prevention and response strategies" learned in the abovementioned module. You can find it here: http://www.stopbullying.gov/prevention/in-the-community/community-action-planning/community-action-toolkit.pdf
To supplement the module, the toolkit materials cover plenty of pressing prevention issues (including suicide), suggest efficient awareness campaign & mobilization approaches, and provide plenty of useful community response/action planning tips. I think it is important to thoroughly assess one's community and engage both adults and youth in the debate. As noted above, bullying significantly affects children and teenagers, but they are not the only ones who are targeted -- and they are certainly not the only ones who can be vulnerable! People are indeed increasingly reporting (officially or not) bullying incidents in the workplace, online, in the military, in prison, etc. Disability and sexual bullying are happening more and more frequently as well.
One outstanding initiative I would like to highlight is Dan Savage & Terry Miller’s Internet-based project, It Gets Better (http://www.itgetsbetter.org/). The Website was launched in the United States in 2010, following a wave of bullycides amongst teenagers who had been relentlessly tormented by classmates for being gay (or even merely suspected of being gay). The goal of the project is to enable adults (of all sexual orientations) to send out messages letting LGBT youth know that however distressing their life may be right now, it will improve eventually. Many celebrities (gay or not) have joined the movement and this “viral” suicide prevention campaign has successfully reached out to tens of millions of teenagers thus far. It is definitely a creative and very powerful strategic communication & education tool.
Communication and education are essential here! Abuse and intimidation -- whether they are physical, verbal or emotional -- have no place at home, in schools, at the office or anywhere else. Hopefully it will not take a few dozen bullycides (i.e., suicides of bullying victims or, in some cases, the killing of the bully by his/her victim) for strong community partnerships to be created and effective prevention strategies implemented.
I have used the Stop Bullying "Community Action Toolkit" several times before -- in classrooms, boardrooms, and beyond. Stop Bullying is a very useful Website (http://www.stopbullying.gov/) run by the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services. They offer a great (free!) module, the "Bullying Prevention & Response Base Training Module", which provides research-based resources to help you assess and drive bullying prevention efforts in your community. I strongly urge people to pay attention to this and create an action plan if they care enough to want to effect measurable changes around them, as bullying prevention and response principles apply here as much as the U.S.!
For more info, go to this page: http://www.stopbullying.gov/prevention/in-the-community/index.html - Community Strategies
The comprehensive Stop Bullying prevention & response module can be accessed here (NB: it is available as a PowerPoint presentation or in PDF format with speaker notes): http://www.stopbullying.gov/prevention/in-the-community/community-action-planning/index.html
The toolkit is quite comprehensive and, as mentioned on the Stop Bullying Website, "includes materials to create a community event using the research, ideas and bullying prevention and response strategies" learned in the abovementioned module. You can find it here: http://www.stopbullying.gov/prevention/in-the-community/community-action-planning/community-action-toolkit.pdf
To supplement the module, the toolkit materials cover plenty of pressing prevention issues (including suicide), suggest efficient awareness campaign & mobilization approaches, and provide plenty of useful community response/action planning tips. I think it is important to thoroughly assess one's community and engage both adults and youth in the debate. As noted above, bullying significantly affects children and teenagers, but they are not the only ones who are targeted -- and they are certainly not the only ones who can be vulnerable! People are indeed increasingly reporting (officially or not) bullying incidents in the workplace, online, in the military, in prison, etc. Disability and sexual bullying are happening more and more frequently as well.
One outstanding initiative I would like to highlight is Dan Savage & Terry Miller’s Internet-based project, It Gets Better (http://www.itgetsbetter.org/). The Website was launched in the United States in 2010, following a wave of bullycides amongst teenagers who had been relentlessly tormented by classmates for being gay (or even merely suspected of being gay). The goal of the project is to enable adults (of all sexual orientations) to send out messages letting LGBT youth know that however distressing their life may be right now, it will improve eventually. Many celebrities (gay or not) have joined the movement and this “viral” suicide prevention campaign has successfully reached out to tens of millions of teenagers thus far. It is definitely a creative and very powerful strategic communication & education tool.
Nannies and lazy parents!
I am a nanny, been nanny for 8 years! No special training what so ever! I learn by reading and reading a lot but that is not enough! You also learn in the action! First when I came to this business I started off with families who could not afford trained nannies and even when they should have had specialists help.
Example: (when I was 21years old kid) I got offered summer job for 2 months in family of 4 kids, where one kid had and still has autism ("We don´t have a disease, so we can´t be cured. This is just the way we are." New York Times article in December 2004, Jack Thomas, a 10th grade with Asperser’s Syndrome).
I never had any business with kids like him before. But I take the job because I knew I can do it! Got lot of help from Ellen Notbohm "Ten Things Every Child With Autism Wishes You Knew" (ASD mother) I was running the house from 8 until 19 Monday to Friday! I had 4 amazing kids who could not communicate to each other as they where French and English and their parents just started the relationship: 11y. Boy who loves football and other outdoor activities (French), 9y. Hyperactive and artistic also out door activities soon to be teenager girl (French), friendly 7 years boy who is really good at computer games (English) and 6 years old boy who loves math and reading (English). I was able to win their hearts! And played lot of games with them, also observed the 7 years old boy with autism who loved to play his video game called Mario galaxy! Learned from there how to talk to him! Yes I used the game and I don’t play video games! Got imminently connection with him when started to use that game to teach him how to swim without protection (toke me a 1,5h). Teach him to use a bike (2h 14min) and he still can after 5 years. (Still in touch with all of my kids and their parents)
Whenever I see kids hitting or hurting each other I make sure they know what have been wrong! Even when i don’t speak their language I make sure they will get the message! I make sure they say sorry and I tell parents what their kids have done wrong! Most cases I make kids to tell their parents what they have done wrong! My kids must learn to know what means to say Hello to ppl they know very well. My kids must offer a seat for elderly when who enters to the bus and there is no free seat nearby ( I know it is not in fashion anymore)! And for sure I must do the same front of them what I teach them! If not, sure thing they won’t learn it! Kids observe and kids trust the ones who are next to them every day! If you won’t watch your mouth and action then kid won’t watch their mouth and action! But I won’t teach no parent until they haven’t asked for it!
I am not over paid nanny but I work hard to make sure to deliver old school manners to the kids. And no parent have power over me.. I am not their maid who has no other place to go! I am in the business because I love kids, You may be able to pay me 3-4 x more then I would ask but I won’t take the job if I don’t have availability to set the ground rule, raising a kid is TEAM WORK! And these parents who let their kids to do whatever and beat whatever are the ones who don’t care about their investments (Kid is a investment). If you won’t work hard as a team (exceptions are the ones who divorced and have no rights to see their kids because mother or father won’t let you for some stupid reasons) you should not EVER complain when you realize your kid is a bully! Because it is your FAULT!!
I met a guy (on train) few years back who works in stock market and he complained about his miss behaved kids because his wife just send him the text about it. Also his nanny was not super great and they have had all ready several nannies! Several nannies?? "What is wrong with your wife and you that your nannies keep leaving?" was my question to him. "Nothing" was his answer. I Spoke with him for short while until I knew he don’t spend enough time with kids, wife spends a lot of time with her girls shopping and being all pretty! And nanny is all alone with kids from 8 until 21 from Monday to Friday. After 1,5h conversation I asked him last questions "Do you know well what is happening on stock market, just YES or NO!" He said yes. I asked him few quiz about his kids, what are their hobbies (he was not able to answer) So I said "Imagine your kids are like stocks on the market, if you won’t take care of them, their value is 0. Raising kids is like getting high value on stock, all about team work!" Meanwhile train reached my destination, wished him safe trip and best of luck! Hopefully he learned something.
My point is, take care of your investments or you might end up with huge lost!
Nannies and lazy parents!
I am a nanny, been nanny for 8 years! No special training what so ever! I learn by reading and reading a lot but that is not enough! You also learn in the action! First when I came to this business I started off with families who could not afford trained nannies and even when they should have had specialists help.
Example: (when I was 21years old kid) I got offered summer job for 2 months in family of 4 kids, where one kid had and still has autism ("We don´t have a disease, so we can´t be cured. This is just the way we are." New York Times article in December 2004, Jack Thomas, a 10th grade with Asperser’s Syndrome).
I never had any business with kids like him before. But I take the job because I knew I can do it! Got lot of help from Ellen Notbohm "Ten Things Every Child With Autism Wishes You Knew" (ASD mother) I was running the house from 8 until 19 Monday to Friday! I had 4 amazing kids who could not communicate to each other as they where French and English and their parents just started the relationship: 11y. Boy who loves football and other outdoor activities (French), 9y. Hyperactive and artistic also out door activities soon to be teenager girl (French), friendly 7 years boy who is really good at computer games (English) and 6 years old boy who loves math and reading (English). I was able to win their hearts! And played lot of games with them, also observed the 7 years old boy with autism who loved to play his video game called Mario galaxy! Learned from there how to talk to him! Yes I used the game and I don’t play video games! Got imminently connection with him when started to use that game to teach him how to swim without protection (toke me a 1,5h). Teach him to use a bike (2h 14min) and he still can after 5 years. (Still in touch with all of my kids and their parents)
Whenever I see kids hitting or hurting each other I make sure they know what have been wrong! Even when i don’t speak their language I make sure they will get the message! I make sure they say sorry and I tell parents what their kids have done wrong! Most cases I make kids to tell their parents what they have done wrong! My kids must learn to know what means to say Hello to ppl they know very well. My kids must offer a seat for elderly when who enters to the bus and there is no free seat nearby ( I know it is not in fashion anymore)! And for sure I must do the same front of them what I teach them! If not, sure thing they won’t learn it! Kids observe and kids trust the ones who are next to them every day! If you won’t watch your mouth and action then kid won’t watch their mouth and action! But I won’t teach no parent until they haven’t asked for it!
I am not over paid nanny but I work hard to make sure to deliver old school manners to the kids. And no parent have power over me.. I am not their maid who has no other place to go! I am in the business because I love kids, You may be able to pay me 3-4 x more then I would ask but I won’t take the job if I don’t have availability to set the ground rule, raising a kid is TEAM WORK! And these parents who let their kids to do whatever and beat whatever are the ones who don’t care about their investments (Kid is a investment). If you won’t work hard as a team (exceptions are the ones who divorced and have no rights to see their kids because mother or father won’t let you for some stupid reasons) you should not EVER complain when you realize your kid is a bully! Because it is your FAULT!!
I met a guy (on train) few years back who works in stock market and he complained about his miss behaved kids because his wife just send him the text about it. Also his nanny was not super great and they have had all ready several nannies! Several nannies?? "What is wrong with your wife and you that your nannies keep leaving?" was my question to him. "Nothing" was his answer. I Spoke with him for short while until I knew he don’t spend enough time with kids, wife spends a lot of time with her girls shopping and being all pretty! And nanny is all alone with kids from 8 until 21 from Monday to Friday. After 1,5h conversation I asked him last questions "Do you know well what is happening on stock market, just YES or NO!" He said yes. I asked him few quiz about his kids, what are their hobbies (he was not able to answer) So I said "Imagine your kids are like stocks on the market, if you won’t take care of them, their value is 0. Raising kids is like getting high value on stock, all about team work!" Meanwhile train reached my destination, wished him safe trip and best of luck! Hopefully he learned something.
My point is, take care of your investments or you might end up with huge lost!
... and the answer is GROW A PAIR FFS! Yes, it's a very sad story but without pretending to be a psychologist, I could tell from her style that it was all in her head, she was posing as a victim the whole time and falling in self-pitty. Outside factors cannot get to you unless you let them, one needs to stand up for themselves. It also makes you wonder where her parents were the whole time. Oh and she can't spell.
I'm sorry if I'm hurting some sensitivities here.
Spoken like a true bully!
And I suppose that scizophrenics should "just make up their minds" and anyone suffering from depression should "just cheer up and snap out of it"?
It takes "a pair" to stand up for people who are vulnerable. It takes none at all to ignore them - that's what bullies depend on.
Spoken like a true bully!
And I suppose that scizophrenics should "just make up their minds" and anyone suffering from depression should "just cheer up and snap out of it"?
It takes "a pair" to stand up for people who are vulnerable. It takes none at all to ignore them - that's what bullies depend on.
Yes, bullying is horrible but before I dive in and make comments that will probably get me some hate mail at worst - irritate some of the posters at best, let me tell you my story as it backs up my later comments.
I moved from Scotland to England at the age of 8, I was tall and due to having red hair, called "Ginge" or "Haggis" or "Jock" (nothing that bad, really) as I still had a (loud and proud) Scottish accent in a very rural part of Yorkshire.
I was incessantly bullied. From primary school where bullying was only about my accent, to secondary school where I regularly got beaten up on the school bus on the way home, because I lived in a "posh village", beaten up for my red hair, beaten up because I was a "tall poppy", beaten up for being "brainy", I had my hair pulled out, my favourite scarf ripped to shreds and my bike tyres punctured on an almost weekly basis.
One of the most persistent bullies was a short, snotty kid called Steven Kilmartin, nicknamed "Killer". One day in the playground (aged 14 at this time so having PMS for the first time (be warned!!) I saw red. He was taunting me, in front of all his mates, to "thump him" if I "dared".
To this day, if some says "I dare you" then I will. Please take note..... :-)
I went over and smacked him as hard as my arms would let me.
The other kids laughed their heads off because I made his nose bleed and I was suddenly the "hero".
How did this makes me feel? Crap.
I cried all the way home, (my throbbing hand didn't help!) and guess what? The school reported ME to my parents for assaulting another pupil. Fortunately, (as it was such a crap school anyway), this was the icing on the cake for my parents, who were concerned about me being bullied, but had no proof, but it gave them the opportunity to move me away to an all girls school and I lived happily ever after.
The point I want to make is, I had parents who kept an eye on their kids, (I'm 1 of 4) listened to what was going on, took action when they had to, and cared. They knew where I was ALL THE TIME.
AND - There was no internet, no texting, no mobiles, no webcams - my parents just monitored what was going on, listened to what I had to say (which wasn't much as I was so embarrassed about being bullied) and took action when they finally realised what was going on.
Back to the present day and hard cold facts - not emotion - just facts.
Apparently 7th grade is aged 12 - 13. So a young girl is on a webcam and flashes her boobs to some guy. A year later, he sends her a message on facebook - quote - "I don't know how he knew me".
This is followed (on Karl's video) by comments like:
"I can never get that photo back".
"So I did huge mistakes"
"I thought he liked me but his girlfriend says "nobody like me".
"I thought nobody deserves this"
She's obviously slept with the guy - knowing he had a girlfriend (at 13?!?!?).
Where was Mum/Dad/Both Mums/Both Dads - I'm trying to liberal here ?!?!?
So she continues telling her tale on facebook, knowing she's being bullied, has to move schools, move cities, continues to get nasty messages, continues to tell her tale on facebook, and after she's drunk some bleach (which, presumably she told everyone about - on facebook - why?!?) then wonders why people are "following" her.
Then she posts her whole sad tale (and yes it IS a sad tale) on YouTube and
then GIVES HER NAME - AMANDA TODD!!!!!
I'm sorry, but this is NOT bullying - it's NOT victimisation - it's advertising your whole life on facebook and the internet and not liking, or being responsible for the consequences and YOUR actions.
Karl - you say "Yes the fact that someone, used the pictures unlawfully , and nothing was done is quite incredible" - but if you post ANYTHING on the internet then it's there for everyone see - there's nothing unlawful about it.
This is a very sad story about a "victim" who chose to be a "victim". Not a "Hero".
When I was 14 and in that playground, having smacked the school bully, I didn't feel a "hero" - but years later, I realised that, at least, I WASN'T the "victim" either.
I hated being a hero for years because it was so alien to me but now I love NOT being a "victim" because it's the lowest form of self-esteem which leads to self abuse. (This is where you're going to hate me.....)
We all make choices in life, some are regrettable and she obviously regretted showing her boobs on a webcam, but she chose to continue to contact and update everyone on facebook ("I don't know how he knew me" - doh!!)
I thought this video was very sad - but the saddest part is that it's on YouTube.
To conclude (and I apologise for the length of this, as I know lengthy postings are very boring) but I was bullied in the workplace (in London, not Switzerland!!) - badly - like spat in the face by my boss, who then put on a "hey! everyone's my mate, can I buy the team a drink" type of boss, I reported him to HR.
It was a struggle, as he was a Senior Director and me his Personal Assistant - but I stuck with it, because I knew (from my childhood) that bullies can - and always WILL be - beaten.
But you can't do it from a Victim Mentality - you actually DO have to "grow a pair" - it's not easy, but bullies will NEVER win when you have the courage of your convictions and You.Know.That.You.Are.In.The.Right.
I'm sorry for Amanda Todd - but I'm concerned that I even know her name.
And smacking someone with a damn hard slug on the left cheek, also helps put their bullying in perspective. It wasn't easy - but I finally decided that I had to make a choice.
Be bullied, or confront it and therefore, end it.
Yes, bullying is horrible but before I dive in and make comments that will probably get me some hate mail at worst - irritate some of the posters at best, let me tell you my story as it backs up my later comments.
I moved from Scotland to England at the age of 8, I was tall and due to having red hair, called "Ginge" or "Haggis" or "Jock" (nothing that bad, really) as I still had a (loud and proud) Scottish accent in a very rural part of Yorkshire.
I was incessantly bullied. From primary school where bullying was only about my accent, to secondary school where I regularly got beaten up on the school bus on the way home, because I lived in a "posh village", beaten up for my red hair, beaten up because I was a "tall poppy", beaten up for being "brainy", I had my hair pulled out, my favourite scarf ripped to shreds and my bike tyres punctured on an almost weekly basis.
One of the most persistent bullies was a short, snotty kid called Steven Kilmartin, nicknamed "Killer". One day in the playground (aged 14 at this time so having PMS for the first time (be warned!!) I saw red. He was taunting me, in front of all his mates, to "thump him" if I "dared".
To this day, if some says "I dare you" then I will. Please take note..... :-)
I went over and smacked him as hard as my arms would let me.
The other kids laughed their heads off because I made his nose bleed and I was suddenly the "hero".
How did this makes me feel? Crap.
I cried all the way home, (my throbbing hand didn't help!) and guess what? The school reported ME to my parents for assaulting another pupil. Fortunately, (as it was such a crap school anyway), this was the icing on the cake for my parents, who were concerned about me being bullied, but had no proof, but it gave them the opportunity to move me away to an all girls school and I lived happily ever after.
The point I want to make is, I had parents who kept an eye on their kids, (I'm 1 of 4) listened to what was going on, took action when they had to, and cared. They knew where I was ALL THE TIME.
AND - There was no internet, no texting, no mobiles, no webcams - my parents just monitored what was going on, listened to what I had to say (which wasn't much as I was so embarrassed about being bullied) and took action when they finally realised what was going on.
Back to the present day and hard cold facts - not emotion - just facts.
Apparently 7th grade is aged 12 - 13. So a young girl is on a webcam and flashes her boobs to some guy. A year later, he sends her a message on facebook - quote - "I don't know how he knew me".
This is followed (on Karl's video) by comments like:
"I can never get that photo back".
"So I did huge mistakes"
"I thought he liked me but his girlfriend says "nobody like me".
"I thought nobody deserves this"
She's obviously slept with the guy - knowing he had a girlfriend (at 13?!?!?).
Where was Mum/Dad/Both Mums/Both Dads - I'm trying to liberal here ?!?!?
So she continues telling her tale on facebook, knowing she's being bullied, has to move schools, move cities, continues to get nasty messages, continues to tell her tale on facebook, and after she's drunk some bleach (which, presumably she told everyone about - on facebook - why?!?) then wonders why people are "following" her.
Then she posts her whole sad tale (and yes it IS a sad tale) on YouTube and
then GIVES HER NAME - AMANDA TODD!!!!!
I'm sorry, but this is NOT bullying - it's NOT victimisation - it's advertising your whole life on facebook and the internet and not liking, or being responsible for the consequences and YOUR actions.
Karl - you say "Yes the fact that someone, used the pictures unlawfully , and nothing was done is quite incredible" - but if you post ANYTHING on the internet then it's there for everyone see - there's nothing unlawful about it.
This is a very sad story about a "victim" who chose to be a "victim". Not a "Hero".
When I was 14 and in that playground, having smacked the school bully, I didn't feel a "hero" - but years later, I realised that, at least, I WASN'T the "victim" either.
I hated being a hero for years because it was so alien to me but now I love NOT being a "victim" because it's the lowest form of self-esteem which leads to self abuse. (This is where you're going to hate me.....)
We all make choices in life, some are regrettable and she obviously regretted showing her boobs on a webcam, but she chose to continue to contact and update everyone on facebook ("I don't know how he knew me" - doh!!)
I thought this video was very sad - but the saddest part is that it's on YouTube.
To conclude (and I apologise for the length of this, as I know lengthy postings are very boring) but I was bullied in the workplace (in London, not Switzerland!!) - badly - like spat in the face by my boss, who then put on a "hey! everyone's my mate, can I buy the team a drink" type of boss, I reported him to HR.
It was a struggle, as he was a Senior Director and me his Personal Assistant - but I stuck with it, because I knew (from my childhood) that bullies can - and always WILL be - beaten.
But you can't do it from a Victim Mentality - you actually DO have to "grow a pair" - it's not easy, but bullies will NEVER win when you have the courage of your convictions and You.Know.That.You.Are.In.The.Right.
I'm sorry for Amanda Todd - but I'm concerned that I even know her name.
And smacking someone with a damn hard slug on the left cheek, also helps put their bullying in perspective. It wasn't easy - but I finally decided that I had to make a choice.
Be bullied, or confront it and therefore, end it.
" you actually DO have to "grow a pair" "Carolyn C
I do hope you're referring to ovaries .....
" you actually DO have to "grow a pair" "Carolyn C
I do hope you're referring to ovaries .....
No ,seriously,not everyone - for whatever reason - is able to thwack a bully back.My sister(older than me) was bullied badly at school and though she's very tough now(a bit too much - kind of overcompensation?) she was tragically unable to defend herself at the time and this experience. has affected her all her life.
As for "where were the parents?" for whatever reason ,she never told them how bad it was,and they never realised until the damage was done.
It's complex - to do with her psychological make-up,family set-up,family history etc etc
I don't think there are simple answers to this like "just stand up to the bullies"
But,as for the girl in the video .....yes,what on earth was going on in her head?She must have been pretty disturbed,no?
No ,seriously,not everyone - for whatever reason - is able to thwack a bully back.My sister(older than me) was bullied badly at school and though she's very tough now(a bit too much - kind of overcompensation?) she was tragically unable to defend herself at the time and this experience. has affected her all her life.
As for "where were the parents?" for whatever reason ,she never told them how bad it was,and they never realised until the damage was done.
It's complex - to do with her psychological make-up,family set-up,family history etc etc
I don't think there are simple answers to this like "just stand up to the bullies"
But,as for the girl in the video .....yes,what on earth was going on in her head?She must have been pretty disturbed,no?
FYI, Catalin, about six million children die of hunger every year. As for lack of medication for kids, it has become a global problem; over nine million children under five years old die every year, mostly from conditions that could be easily treated with safe & effective medicines. That is more than 15 million kids right there, not counting children over 5 who die because they have no access to proper meds, so I really do not know where you found your statistic on child mortality...
Cecile, not exactly. I got the number on a radio show, ralying famous actors and singers to the cause. Exact numbers are difficult to put together as you can imagine. If we are refering to the 2006 UNICEF report "Under five deaths by cause 2000 - 2003", out of a total of 9 700 000 deaths they suggest that "Undernutrition is an underlying cause in 53% of under-five deaths worldwide" which is close to 5 million. In that report Neonatal causes (37%) and Pneumonia (19%) are leading causes, undenutrition is overlapping with all oher causes and there is no number presented for it alone. Keep in mind that this is fairly old data and that there is evidence that the number of deaths attributed to hunger has been halved in the last decade, thankfully.
Leaving the numbers aside, I was making a point which I think everyone understood.
Cecile, not exactly. I got the number on a radio show, ralying famous actors and singers to the cause. Exact numbers are difficult to put together as you can imagine. If we are refering to the 2006 UNICEF report "Under five deaths by cause 2000 - 2003", out of a total of 9 700 000 deaths they suggest that "Undernutrition is an underlying cause in 53% of under-five deaths worldwide" which is close to 5 million. In that report Neonatal causes (37%) and Pneumonia (19%) are leading causes, undenutrition is overlapping with all oher causes and there is no number presented for it alone. Keep in mind that this is fairly old data and that there is evidence that the number of deaths attributed to hunger has been halved in the last decade, thankfully.
Leaving the numbers aside, I was making a point which I think everyone understood.
I will take this one step further: why does everyone have to live? The entire human race history is a tale of survival of the fittest, natural selection and evolution and it's not pretty. Do we just assume that is a thing of the past and it doesn't continue in the present? If someone cannot take the pressure of the surrounding reality and choose to die (their own choice mind you), why is it such a big deal except for the obvious impact on the family and close ones?
I will take this one step further: why does everyone have to live? The entire human race history is a tale of survival of the fittest, natural selection and evolution and it's not pretty. Do we just assume that is a thing of the past and it doesn't continue in the present? If someone cannot take the pressure of the surrounding reality and choose to die (their own choice mind you), why is it such a big deal except for the obvious impact on the family and close ones?
Years ago I met kids from Brooklyn, New York who came to Washington, DC to meet with their Representative for whom I worked at the time. These kids were about 11-12-13 years old and had been trained as conflict resolution mediators for their fellow classmates.
It was really, really interesting hearing from the kids about how they spoke to their classmates and helped to break up fights and to get disputing parties to talk to each other with more civility.
One could see that the students often had a better sense of how to resolve these conflicts than adults might in many cases. And they were very proud of their role in helping to encourage a safer and less stressful environment.
Of course, these kids were supervised by adults but I think one of the most important points was that the students felt they were not isolated and had a sense of responsibility for their small community.
Years ago I met kids from Brooklyn, New York who came to Washington, DC to meet with their Representative for whom I worked at the time. These kids were about 11-12-13 years old and had been trained as conflict resolution mediators for their fellow classmates.
It was really, really interesting hearing from the kids about how they spoke to their classmates and helped to break up fights and to get disputing parties to talk to each other with more civility.
One could see that the students often had a better sense of how to resolve these conflicts than adults might in many cases. And they were very proud of their role in helping to encourage a safer and less stressful environment.
Of course, these kids were supervised by adults but I think one of the most important points was that the students felt they were not isolated and had a sense of responsibility for their small community.
There is a trendy expression that you probably heard ... "first world problems". Around 24 000 children die from not having food or medicines every year. THEY really don't have a choice, that teenager did. If I wanted to be concerned about something, I would rather be concerned about something like that. Not trying to hijack the thread, just putting things in perspective.
Oh and before I forget, you grow a pair too!
@ Catalin,, thanks for your comments. I understand and know about all of the issues you mention. If you have concerns about the things you mentioned and feel they are important , then by all means do something about it.
My concerns were about bullying, because i would like to so something about it.
As for your throw away comment about me growing a pair, i already have thanks, otherwise i wouldnt be here.
@ Catalin,, thanks for your comments. I understand and know about all of the issues you mention. If you have concerns about the things you mentioned and feel they are important , then by all means do something about it.
My concerns were about bullying, because i would like to so something about it.
As for your throw away comment about me growing a pair, i already have thanks, otherwise i wouldnt be here.
I will take this one step further: why does everyone have to live? The entire human race history is a tale of survival of the fittest, natural selection and evolution and it's not pretty. Do we just assume that is a thing of the past and it doesn't continue in the present? If someone cannot take the pressure of the surrounding reality and choose to die (their own choice mind you), why is it such a big deal except for the obvious impact on the family and close ones?
I happen to agree with you on certain points here. It is obviously the choice of the individual to live or die, and yes for those determined enough to kill themselves there is absolutely nothing we can do to stop it.
However your missing my point, and that is what can we do to stop children being bullied, or what can we do to help those being bullied to stop or change the situation they find themselves in.
Do you really think it should be just allowed to continue, because of the survival of the fittest rule ?
How would you react if it was your child being bullied... tell them to grow a pair ? and leave it at that ? Im afraid just telling a child to grow up, or just telling them to defend themselves or just telling them anything will help.
What does help is kindness and understanding, being able to listen to their issues, real or imagined, and having the compassion to look at things from their perspective. So that they feel supported enough to be able to cope with the issues on their own.
I happen to agree with you on certain points here. It is obviously the choice of the individual to live or die, and yes for those determined enough to kill themselves there is absolutely nothing we can do to stop it.
However your missing my point, and that is what can we do to stop children being bullied, or what can we do to help those being bullied to stop or change the situation they find themselves in.
Do you really think it should be just allowed to continue, because of the survival of the fittest rule ?
How would you react if it was your child being bullied... tell them to grow a pair ? and leave it at that ? Im afraid just telling a child to grow up, or just telling them to defend themselves or just telling them anything will help.
What does help is kindness and understanding, being able to listen to their issues, real or imagined, and having the compassion to look at things from their perspective. So that they feel supported enough to be able to cope with the issues on their own.
I want to give Karl a big thanks and appreciation for posting this and trying to raise awareness to the subject.Which is a big deal ,if it doesn't matter to some ,then let it and get on with your life and let the others who care about it make a difference.What happens to a person when they are a child can shape thier future.Bullying is not acceptable,and is one of the reasons why some people grow to be killers ,and not only kill themselfes(if it doesnt matter to some people).
I grew up in a culture or in a house bullying and physical abuse is the best way to raise a child.Apart from having it daily from school ...lucky me had to enjoy it at home too.Bullying can not only be from children from to adult to child, or even teachers.
Society expectations of physical apearance and social status ,also can be a big bully.
I dont believe anyone deserves ill treatment or harm.
Karl is right we have to be more compassionate .Also understanding to others peoples differences.It all starts with parents and school.They have to raise thier children on morals and in a non abusive household.Some bullies are created because they are victims themselfes.Teachers should be there to teach kindness and to be friendly to ur peers , not motivate bullying.
I want to give Karl a big thanks and appreciation for posting this and trying to raise awareness to the subject.Which is a big deal ,if it doesn't matter to some ,then let it and get on with your life and let the others who care about it make a difference.What happens to a person when they are a child can shape thier future.Bullying is not acceptable,and is one of the reasons why some people grow to be killers ,and not only kill themselfes(if it doesnt matter to some people).
I grew up in a culture or in a house bullying and physical abuse is the best way to raise a child.Apart from having it daily from school ...lucky me had to enjoy it at home too.Bullying can not only be from children from to adult to child, or even teachers.
Society expectations of physical apearance and social status ,also can be a big bully.
I dont believe anyone deserves ill treatment or harm.
Karl is right we have to be more compassionate .Also understanding to others peoples differences.It all starts with parents and school.They have to raise thier children on morals and in a non abusive household.Some bullies are created because they are victims themselfes.Teachers should be there to teach kindness and to be friendly to ur peers , not motivate bullying.
I use to know a little girl who always but everyone first before herself. She was sincere and honest, active and curios. Honesty was very important, very important to her but not only, she knew she have to protect weaker ones! She had to protect her siblings and mother from the biggest bully- from her father. But there was days she didn’t know how to carry on, by age of six she knew the best efficient way to kill herself or him but she still had hope for him. She considered several ways to do it but then again she hoped maybe if she goes to school everything will be better, life will be better. She loved reading and she read more books than any other student at her class. Book after book, day after day, indoor or outdoor it didn’t matter. She had great results at school until age of 14… She was not just a great student, she also had strong and beautiful voice full of passion but every song she sang was full of sadness, whoever was listening her thought “she is a good actress who knows how to pretend the feelings.” But they were wrong; her feelings were hidden in these songs. She but her heart in to these songs to scream her voice out! Scream her sadness out and pain, hoped maybe someone will step up and help her family! But no one was able to read in-between the lines. She was so strong and same time so small, smile on her face, smile on her face was there every day when she walked in to school. She was bullied home by her father and bulled school by other students. Her stuff where taken away, she was beaten up by guys. She was different because she would never consider herself in any group. Everyone should be considerate as one union and same time individuals. She was afraid of school holidays, summer holidays! She hated weekends. Because weekend meant working hard in forest touring the winter in heavy snow or working in farm doing hard work which was never suitable for any child not even for a boy. She better had herself beaten up at school then at home. By age of 10 she didn’t cry anymore she fought back and she fought back hard! She wanted to be boy because she thought boys are stronger than girls. She started to be interested about weapons, she read books about going to army she dreamed about going to Légion étrangère. She wanted to go to war and fight and show the world she is strong. First time by age of 16 she was allowed to join the shooting rink only because her father loved weapons (sure she wanted him to love her, he never did). First time she held a firearm and shot from 3 positions and yes she beat every and single one at the rink (289 out of 300). How? She did her math well.
At home she got beaten up and bullied, she stopped having tears, she ignored the pain and told herself everyday „I will change their life and he won’t never be in my house, never again!“ By age of 16 when she was all ready in high school she was tired of fighting, she hated colures on her cloths, skirts and dresses where something which were not for her! She cut off her long hair to look like a boy! She had no friends and hole family of hers where never a family! She was tired of dreams and hopes, she was tired of fighting for nothing! She was tired of seeing her family destroyed!
By age of 17 she was tired of it, she was tired of seeing her family working like slaves to make his life better, for letting him have best food and cloths and do nothing at home while rest where suffering. She was tired to go and ask for few euros to buy new shoes for herself or for her brother. She was tired of him going true their stuff whenever they where away. She was tired of waking up and going to sleep every day and night having only one question in her head and one hope in her heart is her family members alive when she wakes up or when she comes back home. She was tired of smiling and pretending she was OKAY! 8 days after her 17th birthday she received her midterm report which was worth nothing, having worst grades in class and edge of being kicked out from school, of course she got her punishment from home. She missed most of her classes, what did she do when she was not at school? She walked in parks and wrote poems not fucking around like her father was keep saying. Calling her hooo because that what female meant for her father a ho! She spend time with kids who where same kind, they where unwanted, they had no place in this world, they had no love from their parents and they all had a story she always listened and supported them. She was the one who stood up for them when someone tried to hurt these kids (kids who where boys and girls older or younger, skinny or fat). But non of them knew her story! Finally after several years of planning and study she found painless and easiest way to walk away. She had a shower the same night, she but on nicest nightgown she had, ate nothing that day and eat over 40 bills one after another while writing a letter to say “ I am tired, but she never mentioned really why she is doing it, who’s fault it is… she went to bed after last bill but right before that she whispered to her family “I love you forever!” …
She is still alive! She was saved on time and sent to see specialist to whom she said nothing because she knew they cost too much money and won’t be able to help her and will just feed some stupid chemicals in. She knew there is a reason why she is still alive; it was time to change the direction of this ship! She fixed every single negative result from 10% or lower to up to 70% in 3 months. She asked money from a friend to buy one way ticket out, she graduated highs school with others! And one day after graduation she was gone! No trace left behind no track to track her down. She left home and home country to grow stronger and earn money for her family to make sure they have food on their table and cloths on and they can have great education. She promised to her father he won’t never know where she is and when she returns home he is out for good! She promised herself she will be better person then he! This girl has gotten every single job she ever decided she must get. She have had her own window washing one person company, she worked in forest, worked in farms, worked in clubs (cloths on, always), bars, for families, for police, on sites. She speaks several languages just because she travelled around. She have entered to many places in world with one way ticket in and few Euros in pocket. She have gone places where she didn’t know anyone before. There is nothing she can´t do but there are just many things she haven’t done yet! Her family is doing great and her father is kicked out of the house! Her mother finally smiles and If you ask why no one never did anything about it. Well it was because no one ever knew about it, in their house was only one rule: if you talk, someone will get hurt!
What would you think she is now? She is not a feminist but she has strong very strong personality and strong mind, often she is very stubborn but now her smile on her face is real! And when every she tells you she cares, she means it! Hope is what she has for humanity!
When you see this girl walking in to the room you wont never think she had hard life being bullied and miss treated! This girl is fighter! But not everyone is so strong and for these kids we should do something. One person/kid at a time we can!!
I use to know a little girl who always but everyone first before herself. She was sincere and honest, active and curios. Honesty was very important, very important to her but not only, she knew she have to protect weaker ones! She had to protect her siblings and mother from the biggest bully- from her father. But there was days she didn’t know how to carry on, by age of six she knew the best efficient way to kill herself or him but she still had hope for him. She considered several ways to do it but then again she hoped maybe if she goes to school everything will be better, life will be better. She loved reading and she read more books than any other student at her class. Book after book, day after day, indoor or outdoor it didn’t matter. She had great results at school until age of 14… She was not just a great student, she also had strong and beautiful voice full of passion but every song she sang was full of sadness, whoever was listening her thought “she is a good actress who knows how to pretend the feelings.” But they were wrong; her feelings were hidden in these songs. She but her heart in to these songs to scream her voice out! Scream her sadness out and pain, hoped maybe someone will step up and help her family! But no one was able to read in-between the lines. She was so strong and same time so small, smile on her face, smile on her face was there every day when she walked in to school. She was bullied home by her father and bulled school by other students. Her stuff where taken away, she was beaten up by guys. She was different because she would never consider herself in any group. Everyone should be considerate as one union and same time individuals. She was afraid of school holidays, summer holidays! She hated weekends. Because weekend meant working hard in forest touring the winter in heavy snow or working in farm doing hard work which was never suitable for any child not even for a boy. She better had herself beaten up at school then at home. By age of 10 she didn’t cry anymore she fought back and she fought back hard! She wanted to be boy because she thought boys are stronger than girls. She started to be interested about weapons, she read books about going to army she dreamed about going to Légion étrangère. She wanted to go to war and fight and show the world she is strong. First time by age of 16 she was allowed to join the shooting rink only because her father loved weapons (sure she wanted him to love her, he never did). First time she held a firearm and shot from 3 positions and yes she beat every and single one at the rink (289 out of 300). How? She did her math well.
At home she got beaten up and bullied, she stopped having tears, she ignored the pain and told herself everyday „I will change their life and he won’t never be in my house, never again!“ By age of 16 when she was all ready in high school she was tired of fighting, she hated colures on her cloths, skirts and dresses where something which were not for her! She cut off her long hair to look like a boy! She had no friends and hole family of hers where never a family! She was tired of dreams and hopes, she was tired of fighting for nothing! She was tired of seeing her family destroyed!
By age of 17 she was tired of it, she was tired of seeing her family working like slaves to make his life better, for letting him have best food and cloths and do nothing at home while rest where suffering. She was tired to go and ask for few euros to buy new shoes for herself or for her brother. She was tired of him going true their stuff whenever they where away. She was tired of waking up and going to sleep every day and night having only one question in her head and one hope in her heart is her family members alive when she wakes up or when she comes back home. She was tired of smiling and pretending she was OKAY! 8 days after her 17th birthday she received her midterm report which was worth nothing, having worst grades in class and edge of being kicked out from school, of course she got her punishment from home. She missed most of her classes, what did she do when she was not at school? She walked in parks and wrote poems not fucking around like her father was keep saying. Calling her hooo because that what female meant for her father a ho! She spend time with kids who where same kind, they where unwanted, they had no place in this world, they had no love from their parents and they all had a story she always listened and supported them. She was the one who stood up for them when someone tried to hurt these kids (kids who where boys and girls older or younger, skinny or fat). But non of them knew her story! Finally after several years of planning and study she found painless and easiest way to walk away. She had a shower the same night, she but on nicest nightgown she had, ate nothing that day and eat over 40 bills one after another while writing a letter to say “ I am tired, but she never mentioned really why she is doing it, who’s fault it is… she went to bed after last bill but right before that she whispered to her family “I love you forever!” …
She is still alive! She was saved on time and sent to see specialist to whom she said nothing because she knew they cost too much money and won’t be able to help her and will just feed some stupid chemicals in. She knew there is a reason why she is still alive; it was time to change the direction of this ship! She fixed every single negative result from 10% or lower to up to 70% in 3 months. She asked money from a friend to buy one way ticket out, she graduated highs school with others! And one day after graduation she was gone! No trace left behind no track to track her down. She left home and home country to grow stronger and earn money for her family to make sure they have food on their table and cloths on and they can have great education. She promised to her father he won’t never know where she is and when she returns home he is out for good! She promised herself she will be better person then he! This girl has gotten every single job she ever decided she must get. She have had her own window washing one person company, she worked in forest, worked in farms, worked in clubs (cloths on, always), bars, for families, for police, on sites. She speaks several languages just because she travelled around. She have entered to many places in world with one way ticket in and few Euros in pocket. She have gone places where she didn’t know anyone before. There is nothing she can´t do but there are just many things she haven’t done yet! Her family is doing great and her father is kicked out of the house! Her mother finally smiles and If you ask why no one never did anything about it. Well it was because no one ever knew about it, in their house was only one rule: if you talk, someone will get hurt!
What would you think she is now? She is not a feminist but she has strong very strong personality and strong mind, often she is very stubborn but now her smile on her face is real! And when every she tells you she cares, she means it! Hope is what she has for humanity!
When you see this girl walking in to the room you wont never think she had hard life being bullied and miss treated! This girl is fighter! But not everyone is so strong and for these kids we should do something. One person/kid at a time we can!!
I use to know a little girl who always but everyone first before herself. She was sincere and honest, active and curios. Honesty was very important, very important to her but not only, she knew she have to protect weaker ones! She had to protect her siblings and mother from the biggest bully- from her father. But there was days she didn’t know how to carry on, by age of six she knew the best efficient way to kill herself or him but she still had hope for him. She considered several ways to do it but then again she hoped maybe if she goes to school everything will be better, life will be better. She loved reading and she read more books than any other student at her class. Book after book, day after day, indoor or outdoor it didn’t matter. She had great results at school until age of 14… She was not just a great student, she also had strong and beautiful voice full of passion but every song she sang was full of sadness, whoever was listening her thought “she is a good actress who knows how to pretend the feelings.” But they were wrong; her feelings were hidden in these songs. She but her heart in to these songs to scream her voice out! Scream her sadness out and pain, hoped maybe someone will step up and help her family! But no one was able to read in-between the lines. She was so strong and same time so small, smile on her face, smile on her face was there every day when she walked in to school. She was bullied home by her father and bulled school by other students. Her stuff where taken away, she was beaten up by guys. She was different because she would never consider herself in any group. Everyone should be considerate as one union and same time individuals. She was afraid of school holidays, summer holidays! She hated weekends. Because weekend meant working hard in forest touring the winter in heavy snow or working in farm doing hard work which was never suitable for any child not even for a boy. She better had herself beaten up at school then at home. By age of 10 she didn’t cry anymore she fought back and she fought back hard! She wanted to be boy because she thought boys are stronger than girls. She started to be interested about weapons, she read books about going to army she dreamed about going to Légion étrangère. She wanted to go to war and fight and show the world she is strong. First time by age of 16 she was allowed to join the shooting rink only because her father loved weapons (sure she wanted him to love her, he never did). First time she held a firearm and shot from 3 positions and yes she beat every and single one at the rink (289 out of 300). How? She did her math well.
At home she got beaten up and bullied, she stopped having tears, she ignored the pain and told herself everyday „I will change their life and he won’t never be in my house, never again!“ By age of 16 when she was all ready in high school she was tired of fighting, she hated colures on her cloths, skirts and dresses where something which were not for her! She cut off her long hair to look like a boy! She had no friends and hole family of hers where never a family! She was tired of dreams and hopes, she was tired of fighting for nothing! She was tired of seeing her family destroyed!
By age of 17 she was tired of it, she was tired of seeing her family working like slaves to make his life better, for letting him have best food and cloths and do nothing at home while rest where suffering. She was tired to go and ask for few euros to buy new shoes for herself or for her brother. She was tired of him going true their stuff whenever they where away. She was tired of waking up and going to sleep every day and night having only one question in her head and one hope in her heart is her family members alive when she wakes up or when she comes back home. She was tired of smiling and pretending she was OKAY! 8 days after her 17th birthday she received her midterm report which was worth nothing, having worst grades in class and edge of being kicked out from school, of course she got her punishment from home. She missed most of her classes, what did she do when she was not at school? She walked in parks and wrote poems not fucking around like her father was keep saying. Calling her hooo because that what female meant for her father a ho! She spend time with kids who where same kind, they where unwanted, they had no place in this world, they had no love from their parents and they all had a story she always listened and supported them. She was the one who stood up for them when someone tried to hurt these kids (kids who where boys and girls older or younger, skinny or fat). But non of them knew her story! Finally after several years of planning and study she found painless and easiest way to walk away. She had a shower the same night, she but on nicest nightgown she had, ate nothing that day and eat over 40 bills one after another while writing a letter to say “ I am tired, but she never mentioned really why she is doing it, who’s fault it is… she went to bed after last bill but right before that she whispered to her family “I love you forever!” …
She is still alive! She was saved on time and sent to see specialist to whom she said nothing because she knew they cost too much money and won’t be able to help her and will just feed some stupid chemicals in. She knew there is a reason why she is still alive; it was time to change the direction of this ship! She fixed every single negative result from 10% or lower to up to 70% in 3 months. She asked money from a friend to buy one way ticket out, she graduated highs school with others! And one day after graduation she was gone! No trace left behind no track to track her down. She left home and home country to grow stronger and earn money for her family to make sure they have food on their table and cloths on and they can have great education. She promised to her father he won’t never know where she is and when she returns home he is out for good! She promised herself she will be better person then he! This girl has gotten every single job she ever decided she must get. She have had her own window washing one person company, she worked in forest, worked in farms, worked in clubs (cloths on, always), bars, for families, for police, on sites. She speaks several languages just because she travelled around. She have entered to many places in world with one way ticket in and few Euros in pocket. She have gone places where she didn’t know anyone before. There is nothing she can´t do but there are just many things she haven’t done yet! Her family is doing great and her father is kicked out of the house! Her mother finally smiles and If you ask why no one never did anything about it. Well it was because no one ever knew about it, in their house was only one rule: if you talk, someone will get hurt!
What would you think she is now? She is not a feminist but she has strong very strong personality and strong mind, often she is very stubborn but now her smile on her face is real! And when every she tells you she cares, she means it! Hope is what she has for humanity!
When you see this girl walking in to the room you wont never think she had hard life being bullied and miss treated! This girl is fighter! But not everyone is so strong and for these kids we should do something. One person/kid at a time we can!!
Thats a very moving story.. Merike, thank you for sharing. It shows there are two sides to every coin and two paths we can take.
For these kids we should do something! and Yes one person at a time we can make a difference . Thank you for those words :)
Thats a very moving story.. Merike, thank you for sharing. It shows there are two sides to every coin and two paths we can take.
For these kids we should do something! and Yes one person at a time we can make a difference . Thank you for those words :)
There is a trendy expression that you probably heard ... "first world problems". Around 24 000 children die from not having food or medicines every year. THEY really don't have a choice, that teenager did. If I wanted to be concerned about something, I would rather be concerned about something like that. Not trying to hijack the thread, just putting things in perspective.
Oh and before I forget, you grow a pair too!
Catalin,
We're born profoundly unqequals because of your genes, our familiy, the place where we grow up, hazards of life and our ability to react to difficult situations varries greatly. "To have the choice" implies that one is able to see the options, which is, by far, not the case for all. Just as in poker, it takes a few things to suceed in life: A good hand, knowledge of the rules, mastery of the odds, intuition, intelligence and, last but not least, luck.
As for your comment "first world problems," it is purely rethorical and has never helped anyone.
Catalin,
We're born profoundly unqequals because of your genes, our familiy, the place where we grow up, hazards of life and our ability to react to difficult situations varries greatly. "To have the choice" implies that one is able to see the options, which is, by far, not the case for all. Just as in poker, it takes a few things to suceed in life: A good hand, knowledge of the rules, mastery of the odds, intuition, intelligence and, last but not least, luck.
As for your comment "first world problems," it is purely rethorical and has never helped anyone.
