I had to look up "paraprosdokians". Here is the definition:
> "Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation."
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> "Where there's a will, I want to be in it," is a type of paraprosdokians.
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> Ok, so now enjoy!
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> 1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
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> 2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
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> 3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
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> 4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
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> 5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
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> 6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
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> 7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
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> 8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
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> 9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
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> 10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
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> 11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
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> 12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'
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> 13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
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> 14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
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> 15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
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> 16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
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> 17. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
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> 18. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
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> 19. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
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> 20. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
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> 21. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
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> 22. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
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> 23. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
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> 24. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
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> 25. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
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> 26. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
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> 27. A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip.
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> 28. Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were.
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> 29. I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.
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> 30. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
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