Thanks for the advice tinkie, it is really a good idea !

 I mean, I don't know the reason, but she hoots really often to the kid... and sometimes the couple is arguing quite badly. But today they were hiting each other, first she did yell and beat him. So he beated back very hard. And at that point I just couldn't continue speaking with my friend (I was on the phone). The child was screaming and crying. So i called the police. But as you says, probably they know already about that couple, because the policeman told me exactly where i was...  (street and everything...) and it was embarrassed because he sounded quite bothered.

You never know where is the border/or limite between a "normal" argue (for me it is something unknown... ) and a bad final...
Mischkina, Jun 18, 2009 @ 01:06

After some searching, I found this website:

http://www.ge.ch/violences-domestiques/la-violence-domestique/



Just because the police isn't interested in this tragedy doesn't mean that nobody is interested!

I would call them and ask for advice.

Reporting it to the police as disturbance of the peace by night - does not really help the cause.

If the guy is Swiss, he has got his combat-rifle somewhere around.

I would not complain to them directly on the door-step...
rainer_d, Jun 18, 2009 @ 02:55

[quote]After some searching, I found this website:

http://www.ge.ch/violences-domestiques/la-violence-domestique/



Just because the police isn't interested in this tragedy doesn't mean that nobody is interested!

I would call them and ask for advice.

Reporting it to the police as disturbance of the peace by night - does not really help the cause.[/quote]



It actually may help the cause in the end. Each time the police have to come and knock on the door is recorded on a file somewhere. And when the lady is ready to leave, that sort of information ("we've been called to that address 13 times in the last 6 months on reports of her being beaten") will only help her in getting the help she needs - when she's finally ready to ask for it.



Definitely call the domestic violence people - those lines/services often have good advice.
lemarquise, Jun 18, 2009 @ 10:21

[quote][quote]After some searching, I found this website:

http://www.ge.ch/violences-domestiques/la-violence-domestique/



Just because the police isn't interested in this tragedy doesn't mean that nobody is interested!

I would call them and ask for advice.

Reporting it to the police as disturbance of the peace by night - does not really help the cause.[/quote]



It actually may help the cause in the end. Each time the police have to come and knock on the door is recorded on a file somewhere. And when the lady is ready to leave, that sort of information ("we've been called to that address 13 times in the last 6 months on reports of her being beaten") will only help her in getting the help she needs - when she's finally ready to ask for it.

[/quote]



In theory, yes.

But in practice, it puts a great amount of pressure on the husband.

I'm not a psychologist, but I imagine that a large portion of violence in the family is rooted in frustrations and personal inabilities to manage a conflict.

Having the police called to my flat and them giving me a lecture would fall under "big frustration" for me, if I'm honest.

Yes, the incident goes on file. But the police will not do anything until she's dead and another dot in the statistic. They can't anyway.

Someone must persuade her to move into a women's shelter.

Well, actually she must come to this conclusion herself, but talking to the right people might help.

rainer_d, Jun 18, 2009 @ 12:16

... and once again the prejudice strikes!

Why the two of you suppose that the man is violent and the woman is the victim?

According to what Mischkina (our only source) tells us, they fight, and in the last occasion she told us about, the woman hit the man and than he hit back.



Good attitude, over all coming from a lawyer!



The way I see it, the only victim here is the child and I suppose those two irresponsible parents should be made aware of what they are doing to him (her?).
Stef__Granny, Jun 18, 2009 @ 15:41

thank you all for your interesting answers. I would take note of that addresse just in case it becomes worse.

But I don't want to mix me in their problems. So, if the police knows the couple very well, i am sure they already called that service for domestic violence. I can not do more for them. And I agree completely that she has to take the decision herself and I can not knock at their door and say: "hello, can we take a tea together?" Unfortunately, I am not the right person for it... The only thing i am going to do if I hear again a bad argue is to call again the police and say that the noise is bothering me. May be the couple will be so annoyed by the police, that they learn to solve their problems by talking. I guess i can not really help the cause in other way.

I agree with you rainer, but ... well, my mother was working sometime in a shelter and she told me, it is very difficult to convince a woman. She never understood why a lot of them went back to their husbands after have been beating very very badly (in a hospital for several weeks). And then they were in a safety place (a women's shelter), with their children going to the school.. and having the possibility of help to re-begin their lives... and after 3 months... a lot of them went back to their man. It should be a kind of sickness... I supposse.

So, thanks a lot for your advices. It was very helpful.
Mischkina, Jun 18, 2009 @ 15:57

Stef, you are right. I never told that the woman was the victim. She was screaming all the time to him so laud ! oh, they begin again... You know what? apart the child, I am also a victim!!!!! :w00t: I hate that kind of behavior.

No, i have no prejudices. I saw how she hitted him just in front of the window... but not seriously hitting, you know.. she was trying to do something... But believe me, the man is a strong guy. He just had enough and did need 1 hit to knock her to the bottom. I never said she is right and he is wrong. It is just that I think he can hurt her very badly just with 1 movement. And yes, poor child. But..  
Mischkina, Jun 18, 2009 @ 16:09

There is also La Protection de la jeunesse. (again in french)

http://www.ge.ch/protection_mineurs/maltraitance.asp

There is a phone number at the bottom of the page if you wanted to call them up and ask their advice.
TogJay, Jun 18, 2009 @ 17:08

Are you joking? Prejudice? Give me a break.

I didn't "assume" anything. The first quote Mischkina gave was "first she did yell and beat him. So he beated back very hard." She has since added that the woman hit the "the strong guy" but not "seriously hitting, you know" and the man then beat her to the floor ("bottom").

And if you think I'm going to accept some sort of ridiculous comment about "equality of the sexes" meaning that women beat their husbands and it's just as physically damaging as the other way around, you're way off base.

I do agree, however, that the situation is damaging the child most of all and that both parents have the ability to put an end to this violent situation by walking away - an option neither of them have taken yet.
lemarquise, Jun 18, 2009 @ 17:15

Size or sex rarely matters when you have something in your hand to hit with..



I know of someone who's partner hit him to the point of requiring stitches and he never hit back knowing that if he was to hit her with the same force he'd be taken away.. Yes they did split and he called the police to protect himself from retaliation.. Having the incident recorded by the police makes things much clearer.



The police are trained (or should be) to understand disputes, and I'm sure prefer to be safe than sorry.
britabroad, Jun 18, 2009 @ 19:01

 

hi,

I learnt that u feel bad but do u have the courage too ?? ....Then go onn knock there door in the middle of there yelling or something likely going, smile n ask for a cup of sugar/ ask if they can allow u to make an urgent call ....or something like that ..( for a glass of water) n leave but sure to let them know that u'r to come back again,if required !

Hope it'll work out dear !

Cheers

arpan
arpan, Jun 18, 2009 @ 19:32

I have all the courage of the world, but they are in the building in front of me. The door is closed and it has a code.  

I've called that service rainer wrote. They can only help when a person ask for help, which sound reasonable. So they gave me some addresses and phone numbers (which i already printed) to give to them just in case i see a member of the family somewhere in the street. Police knows, Domestic violence knows... And, well, right now they are calm. Just the child is crying... I don't know why... but i can imagine that life is not easy for her  :crying:
Mischkina, Jun 18, 2009 @ 20:50