What argument thread?

Hats off to anyone who is capably of apologising. whoever is able to do that is a winner and a wise person, for its not easy to apologise, one feels low and out of this world, but still whoever is able to apologise is a grand person #fullstop.

I only apologise when I see my mistake otherwise #turnleft, you can also #turnright.

Hi I think its good to apologise in after an argument as it easies the pain and the after math if there is any......then the kissing and making it up.......well need I say more........

Good point.

I find it important to also take responsibility for my mistakes. I am aware that was sh... Must have been terrible for you etc.

I don't know the official stats, but based on the small sample size of folks around me, I'd say there's no real difference between the genders on being able to apologize. 

I do know some folks who just have a hard time saying sorry, and it's a terrible thing. 

Anyone find this familiar ?

“Doesn’t matter where she’s invited, she always goes back a second time – but only to apologise, of course.” 

Apologize early, apologize often.

Can you imagine apologising to your boss and afterwards giving him/her a kiss, or colleagues and the kiss.

This kiss is only for family members and good friends.

I once worked in an office where, on the luckily very few occasions I had to apologise to my boss, he gave me a big fatherly hug and one, two, three four kisses on the cheek -- left, right, left, right. I was more chocked than if he’d given me a real dressing-down.

R.

And I accept yours. Missed you too, honey 

The one where you've been. I see you!

Yes apologizing to someone you love does have it's "benefits" 

Depends on the kiss. Swapping saliva with the boss? Not cool!

I believe: There's more spice to the discussion for sure, when two groups are pitched one against the other. It also helps sell books. However, looking at it as - women always do this while men always do that eliminates the following premises.

1) Women & men draw influences from each other
2) People change, times change...everything changes

3) Circumstances & other things starting with circum
4) For make-benefit speakers of other languages, My hovercraft is full of unagi

Im a believer in saying sorry when I mean it, its clear some just say sorry to end an argument, but dont mean it, and some never say sorry as it might show them up as being weak,

There is no gender stereotype, although I suspect many men say sorry to women just to end an ever increasing or circular row.

Sorry, but is that you Charlie???

I see a resemblance there :)

Quote:

.... although I suspect many men say sorry to women just to end an ever increasing or circular row.

End Quote:

Sometimes you just want to hear it whether or not it's meant. It's kind of a like wiping the slate clean in order to move forward.  It shouldn't be called an apology, just a reset button, or something :)

Story of men and women arguing over whether or not 1+1 =2 where the man says "2" and the woman says "it depends":

After 2 hours of discussions and 15 mins before the football is about to start....

Him - "Sorry, yeah, no really, Im sorry, You are right...ok now can we move on?"

Her - "accepted, thank you. Shall we go shopping"

Him - "sign" <facepalm>

2 days later... she brings up the subject again...

Him - "I said Sorry, jeeez why do you have to keep digging up old stuff..."

Repeat for rest of life...

The End.

Stereotypically true! LOL

There are many differences between men and women but there is no evidence that this is one of them.

I think that the frequency and method of people's aplogies are determined mostly by their personality type, their upbringing and local societal expectations; not their gender.

what type of apology is needed in the work envoronment as opposed to social.... 

here's a valid "late for work" apology or excuse, however you deem to call it...

Apologies are TOO important! Why is it then that I'm the only one making them and often when I feel like I'm the one who deserves an apology! And no, it's not because i'm the only one screwing up! ;-) I think being attracted to strong-willed indepedent women comes with the down-side that they tend to be over-proud. Last two girlfriends in last 6 years... first one NEVER apologised once... second one only ONE time! No joke... 

Since maybe I can learn something here let me describe a typical situation that goes like this: conversation on potentially touchy subject happens on neutral ground over a cup of tea of whatever... GF starts to behave moody and nasty (1-2 hours after said conversation)... I try to ask what's wrong... no answer, only bitchiness in response... (this cycle potentially goes on for hours or days)... this behaviour makes me grumpy since I don't feel like I understand what I've said wrong (which obviously I have or girl wouldn't be acting this way). This, by the way, makes it hard for me to apologize since I don't find it fair at all to behave this way (and perhaps I'm a proud MoFo in my own right ;-)) Typical conclusions are: to wait it out and both parties 'forget' about it... apologize for something I don't know what I'm apologizing for... try to come back to the conversation that apparently got things started (which is a bit like emotional babysitting)... or give her a taste of her own medicine and be bitchy right back (which seems to me the worst thing to do cause it's so damn childish). 

I'm sharing cause I find Janet's thread insteresting, but somehow opposite to the 'standard' behaviours between men and women she quotes and especially because this is really a TYPICAL situation for me. Anyone have similar challenges? Ladies, any advice to help me understand how to resolve these moments if you can relate? Shall I take courses on mind-reading? Perhaps I'm just an insensitive heartless bastard of a man (if Penny joins in she will surely agree with that. ;-)) Open to suggestions! 

Just thought of a solution (before Charlie mentions it)... 

I could try turning off and putting down the chainsaw during the initial conversation. ;-)

ops, I should appoligized before my post, Just too cover my ars.

Just appoligize before, because we are always wrong, even if us men know we are right, we just let them 'stew in their own insanity' heheheheehe

oh, oh I am so sorry if I offended anyone, please forgive me, Im a numb nut, I just cant help myself to tell you 'we all dont give a rats ars'.

Bad day and need I to get drunk and laid?

Ok maybe am the last person to give advice on this as I could possibly be put into the "strong-willed independent woman" category. Although I don't find it too hard to apologize if I know I am wrong and the person to whom I am apologizing is important to me.But here's my take on your situtation.

 1. Arguing on a touchy subject: If you already know the subject is going to hit a nerve then maybe the approach is what needs to be worked on before it gets to the “apologizing” stage.

Asking what's wrong when you know that your stance on a/the touchy subject is offensive or hurtful to her is most likely going to be met with a stony glare. Of course you know what you did. And if this cycle repeats itself her reaction is going to be stronger with each cycle. 

 Solution: Stop bringing up said subject. Agree to disagree when discussing the subject in future. Acknowledge her feelings by saying

something like "I see where you're coming from but how do you feel about..<put your argument here>...."

 2. If you're past the point of no return. Best thing, I think, is to just stop talking for a bit and say at some point later, something along the lines of "I know our talk made you feel ...<put her feeling here >..

I didn't mean to hurt or offend you. Do you think we can chat about it  when we're both calmer or .... <put any time in the future here>..."

 3. Waiting it out: Never a good idea with a woman. We tend to think a lot. The bad feelings keep festering. As you have noticed.

 4. Stop apologizing too much. It’s not a fix all and  I think it devalues apologies on the long run. Work more on avoiding doing what will make you apologize.

5. If you don’t know what you’re apologizing for, you’re most likely to end up doing that same thing again and apologizing.

 Find a way to get clarity on what hurts her. Ask her to communicate what the problem is at a time when you’re not arguing and in a foul mood

That’s it. My two cents!

 Relax! Have a nice weekend, Dave G. Sounds like you need it.