Things I trust More Than Hillary Clinton

* Mexican tap water

* A rattlesnake with a pet me sign

* OJ Simpson showing me his knife collection

* A fart when I have diarrhea

* Taking pills offered by Bill Cosby

* Michael Jackson's Doctor

* An Obama Nuclear deal with Iran

* A Palestinian on a motorcycle

* Gas station Sushi

* A Jimmy Carter economic plan

* Loch Ness monster sightings