(he's a brave man you're thinking, but here goes...)



> REGARDING WOMEN AND MEN ......
>
> 1. NAMES
>
>
> If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will
> call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
>
> If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to
> each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
>
>
> 2. EATING OUT
>
> When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in
> £20, even though it's only for £32.50. None of them will have anything
> smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
>
> When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
>
> 3. MONEY
>
> A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.
> A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's in a
> sale.
>
>
> 4. BATHROOMS
>
> A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream,
> razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the last hotel he was in.
>
> The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A
> man would not be able to identify most of these items.
>
> 5. ARGUMENTS
>
> A woman has the last word in any argument.
>
>
> Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
>
>
> 6 CATS
>
> Women love cats.
>
> Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
>
>
> 7. FUTURE
>
> A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
>
> A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
>
>
> 8. SUCCESS
>
> A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
>
> A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
>
>
> 9. MARRIAGE
>
> A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
>
> A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
>
>
> 10. DRESSING UP
>
> A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the
> garbage,
>
> answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
>
> A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
>
>
> 11. NATURAL
>
> Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
>
> Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
>
> 12. OFFSPRING
>
> Ah, children.
>
> A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist
> appointments
>
> and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes
> and dreams.
>
> A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
>
> 13. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
>
>
> Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two
> people remembering the same thing.
>
>

G___Nov 9, 2006 @ 15:37