here is a song by bette midler 

to demonstrate 

i remember having friends who would spend hours talking and going back 

and forth to each other^s house 

what happened to relationships that people became so goal oriented 

that they can not be bothered anymore to say a simple hello how are you

except in my little town ?

what happened to emotions that they became something to avoid ?

I for one will not change and will  continue to be a softie 

just wonder if this was always this way ? 

the arabs have a saying

"better a good neighbor than a far away brother"

i find this so true

i am so fortunate to have at least really good people here in my little town

but wonder what happened to the rest of the world ?

why is it easier to win world war two than to make a simple appointment these days?? 

i try to teach my kids to always stop and say hello 

but they hate that i talk to people 

they think it is silly 

i think this is the thread of the rose 

"frozen smiles to chase love away 

human kindness is overflowing and i think it^s going to rain today"

the waltons revisited 

it was a large extended family 

the parents always spoke pleasantly to eachother 

and no issue was too small to speak about 

dear richdog , i guess it was just a cabin fever reaction 

actually i am not that melodramatic these days 

but my kids are actually the ones complaining to me 

not the other way around 

and saying hello still does not constitute a relationship or something warmer 

than a common courtesy 

still iam not that dark and yes i have cheered up since i did go out 

and mingled and had a great time 

i suppose if i was a walton i would be stuck in the kitchen the whole day anyway

thanks for your advice though 

I totally agree with you that the current state of mind is "noncommital".

It's weird because nowadays people are lonelier than ever and at the same time they are not willing to step into any serious commitment. We all want love, sex, fun, but at the same time we want to have our personal space, to be independent and..free!

I guess that we're afraid to be emotinally involved with someone, because that will make us fragile...uncapable to maintain an emotional balance...and in this tough world, you need to be tough and not to show much emotions and care, if you want to survive..

So we're focused on ourselves - career, money, achievements and the same time secretly dreaming and looking for love..and yet when we finally feel it/find it we're in a hurry to runaway, because we're afraid..

thanks Lina 

I think it is beyond gender differences

it is exactly what you stated people want to have it ALL and they think 

they can have the cake and eat it too which means having all the benefits 

of a serious commitment; you know all the good stuff but also the ability 

to leave any time 

the problem is that human beings i believe are not as easily disconnected 

and those who act like automated machines usually pay a price in terms

of soul and integrity etc.

so give me the simple life anytime; innocence and truth

here is a video by Danny K

it is not just about relationships between men and women but in general

stopping to talk to someone  really caring

I wonder how the guy above concluded 90% of what i wrote is false

does he have a calculator ?

I feel that it is the times we live in a mad combination of wanting to have it all

and yet not willing to give anything in return for too long

therefore i regress to the past  to the times when life seemed simple and uncomplicated

if only i could time travel ...

thanks for your input  

Exactly - "wanting to have it all and yet not willing to give anything in return for too long" - kind of consumer mantality.

Sadly we're suppressing our emotions so much that we're really becoming to behave like "an automated machines" - selfish, indifferent, cold...

 I wish I could time travel too...

i think you said it all, when you start to compare the right style of living with tv prgrammes. firstly, those tv shows were made to imitate life, but you seem to say you want to imitate the life in these tv shows and relate to their values. remember, all those tv shows we at best 30 mintes long!!! you can't solve life's problems in 30 minutes. neither can you fall in love and have a fulfilling relationship in 30 minutes. however, we have become so "programmed" by these tv shows that now WE try to imitate tv life. and we want everything in the space of a 30-60 minute tv sitcom. solve life's problems in that time frame.....if it takes longer, it's not worth it. making friends, committing to a relationship ( until next week's episode of ...........) solving problems at work, finding a partner, a new job, buying that new tv,pc,car, whatever. we live in a NOW society, encouraged by easy credit, easy jet, easy money!! so why not easy love, sex, excitement, happiness etc etc.

@ Lina: time travel, but which direction, past or future.(suppose you only get a one time round trip journey)

Time travel to the past of course - back to the good old times!;)

lina, my thoughts exactly 

i recently did a thread on oldies, but then the french actress simon signoira said that " nostalgia is not what it used to be "

(i am not sure of the spelling of her last name)

once you travelled to the past you would find that it is not like what you thought it would be 

the 50s were actually horrible times for women , there is a novel by philip roth 

i forget the name, very thin, about a guy going to college during the korean war at that time women were labeled so easily and outcast of society if they were too liberated sexually and otherwise.

I would be careful about that time travel though of course those films and tv shows offer illusions 

like the saying goes, "neurotics build castles in the air, psychotic live there and the psychologists charge rent " 

but having said that i too love that time when people danced and held old fashioned values

there is something to be said for having had to wait for life^s big moments 

these days it seems everything is so quick and like you said epicure 

we expect everything these days to run quickly 

if the computer does not react quick enough we complain so imagine

our lives

everything is instant, attention span is that of a fly and we are all in a hurry to get somewhere to get married then unmarried 

to get into a relationship then out of a relationship

dating used to be in traditional societies at least all about knowing the families knowing the values , the shared values, goals etc 

these days people can go onto internet dating and there are hundreds of candidates, societs are anonymous

no one knows everyone really, for all you know the person you meet online could be a serial killer 

there is a lot of freedom of abuse in that anonmity deal 

people no longer feel obligated to any decent set of values and they do 

what they like with whoever they like whenever they like 

there are not many things society frowns upon anymore

give it time and everything we now consider indecent will be considered norma in a few years time 

I am for progress but concerning relationships i only see reversed evelution 

we are like that film space odysee 2001, going back to being like the monkies

we forget the importance of soul 

I think the whole emphasis on gender differences is wrong 

an old lady in my gym asked me recently 

"what is wrong with men these days"*

i answered

"women"

as long as both men and women treat eachother as socks to be changed

at the same rate more or less then there will be no depth or anything worth

working for and keeping

that is my speech for tonight anyway

... i love mary poppins 

that is the time i would have liked to live in 

i love the shoes the dresses and that feeling that women were supposed 

to be all dignified and lady like