The questions below about Australia, are from potential visitors. They
were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the Answers are the
actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a sense of
humour.
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on
TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching
them die.
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad
tracks?
(Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a
list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey BayUK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia?
(USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does
not... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in
Kings Cross. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here
and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which
is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night
in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? ( UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?
Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year
round?(Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is
illegal.
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense
rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All
Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and
make good pets.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget
its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of
Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can
scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out
walking.
Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)
A: No, WE don't stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you
tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population
is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.
Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I
dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first
Global Forums > General > questions about visiting australia ??
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questions about visiting australia ??
Oct 3, 2006 @ 16:48
The text you are quoting:
The questions below about Australia, are from potential visitors. They
were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the Answers are the
actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a sense of
humour.
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on
TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching
them die.
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad
tracks?
(Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a
list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey BayUK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia?
(USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does
not... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in
Kings Cross. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here
and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which
is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night
in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? ( UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?
Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year
round?(Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is
illegal.
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense
rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All
Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and
make good pets.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget
its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of
Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can
scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out
walking.
Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)
A: No, WE don't stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you
tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population
is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.
Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I
dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first
addaxnatOct 3, 2006 @ 16:48
were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the Answers are the
actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a sense of
humour.
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on
TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching
them die.
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad
tracks?
(Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a
list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey BayUK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia?
(USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does
not... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in
Kings Cross. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here
and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which
is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night
in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? ( UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?
Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year
round?(Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is
illegal.
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense
rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All
Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and
make good pets.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget
its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of
Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can
scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out
walking.
Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)
A: No, WE don't stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you
tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population
is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.
Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I
dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first
addaxnatOct 3, 2006 @ 16:48
Your Reply:
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Re: questions about visiting australia ??
Post 1
Oct 3, 2006 @ 20:40
I loved it!
Now that I know the basics, I think I'll go and visit Australia!
Who wants to join?
:-)
Now that I know the basics, I think I'll go and visit Australia!
Who wants to join?
:-)
The text you are quoting:
I loved it!
Now that I know the basics, I think I'll go and visit Australia!
Who wants to join?
:-)
Stef__Granny, Oct 3, 2006 @ 20:40
Now that I know the basics, I think I'll go and visit Australia!
Who wants to join?
:-)
Stef__Granny, Oct 3, 2006 @ 20:40
Your Reply:
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Re: questions about visiting australia ??
Post 2
Oct 4, 2006 @ 12:36
I'm up for hipo racing ! Are you Grany ? :-)
The text you are quoting:
I'm up for hipo racing ! Are you Grany ? :-)
Hobbes, Oct 4, 2006 @ 12:36
Hobbes, Oct 4, 2006 @ 12:36
Your Reply:
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Re: questions about visiting australia ??
Post 3
Oct 4, 2006 @ 17:16
... whether it is in Kings Cross on Tuesdays or for mud fighting in Lausanne!
Did you volunteer already for the Full Monty with Cooper or do we have to tell him? ;-)
Did you volunteer already for the Full Monty with Cooper or do we have to tell him? ;-)
The text you are quoting:
... whether it is in Kings Cross on Tuesdays or for mud fighting in Lausanne!
Did you volunteer already for the Full Monty with Cooper or do we have to tell him? ;-)
Stef__Granny, Oct 4, 2006 @ 17:16
Did you volunteer already for the Full Monty with Cooper or do we have to tell him? ;-)
Stef__Granny, Oct 4, 2006 @ 17:16
Your Reply:
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Re: questions about visiting australia ??
Post 4
Oct 4, 2006 @ 18:00
the full monty .. with Hobbes and Granny ..
and I for once was hoping in real goodlooking strippers :P
No offense boys!! Jokes aside r u really going to do it?
Vale ;)
and I for once was hoping in real goodlooking strippers :P
No offense boys!! Jokes aside r u really going to do it?
Vale ;)
The text you are quoting:
the full monty .. with Hobbes and Granny ..
and I for once was hoping in real goodlooking strippers :P
No offense boys!! Jokes aside r u really going to do it?
Vale ;)
Hoiling, Oct 4, 2006 @ 18:00
and I for once was hoping in real goodlooking strippers :P
No offense boys!! Jokes aside r u really going to do it?
Vale ;)
Hoiling, Oct 4, 2006 @ 18:00
Your Reply:
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Re: questions about visiting australia ??
Post 5
Oct 4, 2006 @ 18:33
building.
I didnt expect it to be that funny so it caught me unawares or I'm in a laughing mood today but I could not stop laughing and really, there were tears down my face.
Thanks for that. I'll read it again tomorrow morning just to pick up my mood for another long day!!
Susie
I didnt expect it to be that funny so it caught me unawares or I'm in a laughing mood today but I could not stop laughing and really, there were tears down my face.
Thanks for that. I'll read it again tomorrow morning just to pick up my mood for another long day!!
Susie
The text you are quoting:
building.
I didnt expect it to be that funny so it caught me unawares or I'm in a laughing mood today but I could not stop laughing and really, there were tears down my face.
Thanks for that. I'll read it again tomorrow morning just to pick up my mood for another long day!!
Susie
Susie, Oct 4, 2006 @ 18:33
I didnt expect it to be that funny so it caught me unawares or I'm in a laughing mood today but I could not stop laughing and really, there were tears down my face.
Thanks for that. I'll read it again tomorrow morning just to pick up my mood for another long day!!
Susie
Susie, Oct 4, 2006 @ 18:33
Your Reply:
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Re: questions about visiting australia ??
Post 6
Oct 6, 2006 @ 12:30
Respect for the elderly! :-P
The text you are quoting:
Respect for the elderly! :-P
Stef__Granny, Oct 6, 2006 @ 12:30
Stef__Granny, Oct 6, 2006 @ 12:30
Your Reply:
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Re: questions about visiting australia ??
Post 7
Oct 6, 2006 @ 13:57
but .. given the family issue I am not to keen in seeing u as a stripper :p
Vale
Vale
The text you are quoting:
but .. given the family issue I am not to keen in seeing u as a stripper :p
Vale
Hoiling, Oct 6, 2006 @ 13:57
Vale
Hoiling, Oct 6, 2006 @ 13:57
Your Reply:
