Yeap. Just ignore them. They are just fishing. And you can be sure that you are not the only one who got this message. The guy probably sent the same message to loads of girls

Hah, no, not you. Your invitation was mild in comparisson to others. I'm just whining about the more vulgar and explicit ones.

Yes, I do, I'm sick of people after my booty...IT'S MINE DAMNIT!

change your photo back to the no photo chicken and you'll have no more problems.

Check the dates and times of the contact requests.. it may be Peter Griffin from Family Guy writing to you....

Liv, just report them.  You have an awesome life if middle-aged men chatting you at 2AM is the worst of your problems.

As Reka said this has been discussed many, many times. If you report it to Oded the guy is toast. I had one guy who really was hounding me so I complained to Oded...before the day was over Oded had fixed the problem (I don't know what he did). But no more harassment from this guy.

before the day was over Oded had fixed the problem (I don't know what he did).

The guy is now swimming with the fishes.  One does not f%&k with Nir or Oded.

Yes, quite right! They terrify me :)

Change you profile pic to some fat Kentucky Fried Eating monster and the creepers will quit. I know many of the ladies will argue that they should not have to be harassed because of the way they look or dress but guys are beasts and nothing will change that.  All guys are beasts, just some are smarter and hide it better.

Don't worry, she's probably just randomly paranoid...

nice answer :-) i think in some cases ladies just being flirtous, like "he is writing me all the tiiiiime, but I won't remove my sexy pic", but often it's not funny at all, really weird 

PS what's wrong with middle-aged men? they've got experience and brains (some) which is very sexy 

ask somebody random!!!

I used to ask coming to my parties homeless people around town, but they were too scared, now I KNOW where I should ask 

I love how this gets turned on me. So because I feel harassed and sick of it, it becomes my fault or I am likely a lunatic. Thank you for the support. 

what's wrong with middle-aged men? they've got experience and brains (some) which is very sexy

Nothing, but they are the one remaining demographic that a person can openly and shamelessly disparage and discriminate against without repercussion.

I guess I should have left the word randomly in italic (as I first intended), in order to make it clear that it's definitely not you I was mocking...

Also, how is this picture sexy? I am not showing any skin, I am completely covered and smiling.

I resent that it is somehow my fault that assholes consistently harass me on glocals, among many other women, a place which I used to think provided people with an open and welcoming environment for opinions, a place for people to appropriately find comfort in meeting others and a forum for queeries.

This seems to be something we are willing to just blow off and accept but it isn't ok. Women in this city are harassed all the time - on the street, in bars, at school... the list goes on. And to have it here additionally is quite like the straw that broke the camel's back. When are we going to make a stand for it? By just saying that "boys will be boys" or approach the problem by blaming women for having pictures which magnify their attractiveness, we aren't addressing the problem.

I resent that it is somehow my fault that assholes consistently harass me on glocals.

You're not getting the message.

Liv, you are being presented with solutions and apparently you don't like them.  When you started this thread, were you seeking advice or were you seeking validation?

So why don't we girls make a special forum just to post the profils and names of all these stupid creepers on Glocals?

We could help each other and denounce these race of uneducated idiots!

BTW : Its not forbidden to be gorgeos and beautiful and there is NO reason to hide it!

Cheers

I'm not looking for solutions, nor am I looking for how I should change. I am not the one looking for sex on glocals. I am not the one harassing men constantly or looking for their approval. For that reason, I am not here looking for methods on how I can change my behaviour.

I am attempting to make a point about the situation.

*I am looking for solutions, but since I feel like I have done little to ask this unwanted attention I am not trying to find solutions in altering how I present myself.

Then go with the other solution: report them to the admins.  Zero tolerance.  You and Sonia can declare war on the "creepers" and make Glocals safe for democracy.

No, it's not as much fun as as stirring up drama (you), casting oneself as a victim (you), nor as satisfying as name-and-shame (Sonia C), but do you ladies want to help fix the problem or not?

oh dear, this is off again, an age old discussion. 

Woman look nice, woman were makeup, woman dress up. Man beat chest and grunt obscenely at said woman because Mr tall dark and handsome is still having coffee with Cary Grant. 

Liv, I understand you are frustrated but you are showing a smile and nice hair, that is enough for animal instincts to kick in, if you are being harassed just report it to admin. There is no block button on Glocals and there will be assholes whistling at you on the street, popping hideous pickup lines in clubs at you and sending you obscene messages via a public forum. End of the day this is like talking in a pub or store. Its public. If you are being groped on the tram, yelled at in the street, you would change your appearence, as in longer skirt, a hood. So change your picture here to something else, maybe a  cooked chicken. Not many would want to suggest acts of sex to a cooked chicken. 

Short of controlling the hetrosexual male species in factories of cages there is not much that can be done against the immature randy middle aged man sending you messages. 

Take it as a weird compliment, people ask me if I want to buy tyres...

Kev

I don't think people here are making jokes of you, like because of your pic you are getting these messages. Picture is very nice I admit 

As site is open and free, problem of "balls scratchers" will always exist :-(

I talked with Nir couple of times about creating ban list (as Sonia c mentionned), he said he would spread this idea around office, so we can only wait...

If you are being groped on the tram, yelled at in the street, you would change your appearence, as in longer skirt, a hood.

careful, you'll start a riot. 

A longer skirt, a hood ... a burka...

I love the way you think, man...

Ok, I realise I am being overly defensive. My inner feminist is just really sick of this crap, so I'm sorry if I am coming across as a little fierce. Don't get me wrong, I recognise that most of you are trying to come up with some good solutions, and for that I am thankful.

Contacting one of the moderaters will likely be a future step for me if this continues.

But I feel as though I have a right to have a picture up of myself smiling as much as the next person. And it is very frustrating that hiding my face will reduce my presence as a target.

In certain instances on glocals, having a photo of myself smiling has been highly benificial. I think it makes a big difference as someone who has, in the past, used glocals to look for job opportunities, internships and even apartments to be able to have a photo up. It makes those who I have written to in looking for those things I just mentioned feel more comfortable with me as a potential tenant/employee/etc if they know what I look like and if they can get a sense of what I am like as a person (by that I mean not whether I am goodlooking or not but whether I seem like a nice and open person or not).

Liv, I think I can summarize what all of us guys (& many of the girls) are thinking. Most of us who have been on the forum for a number of years have seen this kind of post dozens of time and honestly it's getting annoying. Glocals has the same problems as all open forums, no more no less. If it's really bothering you and you want it dealt with, either tell them politely that you are not interested, report the offensive behaviors to the moderators or name them on the forum, although I would not recommend the last one. Complaining on the forum without including any particulars will just make it seem like you are looking for attention, no offense. Most people will also agree that you would not mind being contacted by really cute and interesting guys, it's just the ones that you don't like that bother you isnt't it ;) Some girls on here are not as lucky in getting the opposite sex's attention so be sensitive about it too.

If you are still on glocals it definitely means that there is more positive than negative so help keeping it meaningful. Sorry for being blunt and for any in-person abuse I will be partying at Pickwick this Friday night 

If I see you, I won't hesitate to abuse you juuuuust a bit. But I appreciate your honesty.

Liv,

Just to throw in my two cents, I agree with what amna said. If you contact Oded or Nir they will sort it out for you. 

And changing your picture would be, in my opinion, wrong. it's your face!

Hope your next few messages will be from cool people you've already met an activity or something. Enjoy the nice people! there are lots of them here:o) 

best of luck,

m.

Take it as a weird compliment, people ask me if I want to buy tyres...

=)

You have put a picture out which is presumably one of your better ones; it gives the impression that it was taken in a bar or at a party (even if it was a photo booth); you say in your profile that you are willing to meet people up until 2 am - why on earth did you put out such a blatant invite?

Are you really surprised? If it upsets you change your profile

Having said that, my photo is I hope not attractive but I still get occasional random invites for friendship on glocals which I just ignore - do not even report them.

I also gets loads of spam on my email.  I do not start complaining to all my friends about it I didrect them to my spam box although maybe at my age I shold be taking the viagra ones more seriously

Having said that I do not know if you can change your original welcome message.  I made the mistake of using my real name and I would like to change (to Paul or Paul E. for example) this but despite emails to Nir or Ofek, there has been no reply so I suppose this is not possible but you can change your photo.

I have just reread your message

What are queeries?

Could these be middle aged men who harass young females on glocals

SA-speak for "queries."  They do have an odd accent sometimes...

Wait till you all old and ugly then you will wish to be harassed.

Liv,

You have three choices here...

Reply to Creepers

Ignore Creepers

Report Creepers

Its up to you to grade the severity and or level of uncomfort you feel when getting a contact or request, and then do one of the above.

No need to change anything on your profile, just change the level of streetwise / netwise and expectations that you have when using an "open and free website". 

Even on closed select social networks you get "creepers"... its a sad fact of life, so you'll just have to man up and deal with it in the most appropriate way, and so long as you dont divulge too much personal info publicly you should not have to worry about security.

I like the scary rep Oded and I developed around here. Mess with us, you sleep with the fish that same night.

Seriously: we work hard to keep glocals as friendly and clean as we can, and we rely mainly on community-reporting to help us spot folks who don't belong here. So when someone writes to you with something that's way over the line, pls pls let us know. We'll take quick action (and the fish will get fed). It's bad for glocals when people who cross the line are allowed to remain on the network.

Thanks,

Nir

I have not laughed so much in ages :)  A new definition of queeries:

Could these be middle aged men who harass young females on glocals

I love it !

I dont think this issue and the interesting reaction of Liv has 'anything' to do with the feminist within (I permit to comment I actually burned a bra but this is another topic). When you invite 'strangers' (glocals or not) into your life in the wee hours of the morning - your may just be inviting trouble. Umm there is also a great thing as the 'delete' button when you start to read something of no interest 'bing' and its gone.  No stress - no problems.

If you want to stay safe, dont publish 'inviting opening hours' but like the rest of the online community do as you please, when you want and at what time you want discreetly.

When you feel safe invite new friends to populated places for a drink or two, the 'creepers' will stop contacting you when they get no reaction from you (they themselves will feel stupid) and if any real madmen pop into your inbox (those with personal information that you did not publish) forward it to the administrators who as you see deal with any real issues during the day and protect the rest of us during the night (hmm vampires come to mind)... Nir:  do you have a pet bat?

I know, it's totally weird.

Change your status to married! It helps!!  (and yes creepies, I really am married).

at first I was like...

but then I was like...

Watch from 1 minute. "That's my website, Kate. It's not me."

Scene from The Nirfather Part I.

what is the point of bitching about getting some random email from some guy?  

simply click delete and move on..... 

When I see women complaing about random emails on glocals, I can't help but Reading between the lines something like:

"I must be hot if I get random emails from strangers flirting with me, but I need reassurance and a self steem boost so I am gonna complain about it publically just so I can seem like I am wanted and desired!"

and then these are the same type of women you see posting in threads like "where to find dates in geneva" or "dating in geneva sucks!!"

why not ignore the profile and move on?

For some very decent full of values women, you have middle aged men who are creeps and then you have middle aged men who are NOT creep$$$$$.

it all depends on the middle aged guy and his $wi$$ bank account!

This thread is so amazingly disheartening. It's not middle aged dudes doing this, it's tonnes of guys.  And I cannot BELIEVE people are blaming women for this.

Do we live in the 1700s?

Because women shouldn't be treated like this.

I applaud Val for making a a fantastic post and am truly saddened by these replies.

Er - Val? I meant Liv. Ha!

I didn't see it as casting herself as a victim at all.

It would be great if it wasn't just the ladies fixing the issue - but everyone involved.

People shouldn't be treated like this.

(fixed that for you).

What is the point of writing 3 replies to a thread which - in your opinion - has no point?

yes! Good point!

yawns

Sending vulgar or repetitive messages to strangers is a no no, but let's not call all guys who contact women with mild compliments or invites "creepers".....or do we live in Saudi Arabia all of a sudden?

Having lived abroad for a long time, I am aware of how exceptionally stuck-up the Swiss mentality is, but come on...snap out of it!

Well - it's not really about the guys or their intentions. It's more about how it makes the target person (male or female) feel.  I think that's important to keep in mind.

Sorry, I don't fully understand what you mean here. 

No problem.  I think it's important to keep in mind that it's not about the person sending the message and their intentions but more about how the recipiant feels. 

For example:

You might email me what you consider to be a very polite email paying me a physical compliment - but to me it might make me feel uncomfortable.  It's hard to shake that feeling once it's there.

I just think it comes down to respecting boundaries of people you don't know. 

Does that make sense?

Reka,

Every new member who joins needs to tick a box, on the registration form, that says something like "I am aware this is not a dating site, and that I may get kicked out for using glocals as a dating site". But that doesn't prevent some folks from still doing it.

I say again: the best thing to do when someone starts the sex talk with you is to report them to us.

Nir

I see. You are saying you would feel uncomfortable about ANY message from an unknown man, including the:

"hey I just came across your page, you're from the same town, would you like to meet up for coffee sometime?" ??

Excuse me, but that is not an inappropriate message, and as an adult, should not make you feel uncomfortable. There's a big difference between this and the pervert who asks you to come over. 

Glocals is not a dating site, but it does not mean that people who met via Glocals NEVER date. That's just a natural effect of meeting people, and that can't be changed with any radical rules. By the way, about half of my female contacts approached me online, and as long as everyone is kind and respectful, there's no problem with that. 

Howdy,

Well, I think the thing to keep in mind is perhaps to me it would be inappopriate and to you're in absoloutley no position to tell anyone what they should feel is or isn't approproiate (no one is!). 

I have experiences, values and a background that you are not aware of that help shape who I am and what I believe in.  You there cannot tell me I'm "wrong" for having an emotional response to something you say - in any situation.  All that can be done is to discuss the issue and try and meet in the middle.

I, for example, am reading your response as rather defensive and I honestly don't understand why you should feel that way - but again, that is completely your right and I respect that (maybe you don't feel defensive - reading emotions on the Internet is tricky!).

I think that's my point. It's not about you. It's about whomever you're emailing.  You don't know them, you have no idea what their values are, and you fundamentally don't know someone's emotional response to your questions (nor should you judge them).

If there's a lady you're particularly interested in I'd always suggest taking it slow and approaching them as buddies first. 

Well Lia K, there are things that society considers normal and inoffensive, and there really isn't anything offensive about the following line:

"hey I just came across your page, you're from the same town, would you like to meet up for coffee sometime?" ".

There is nothing offensive to this according to my decent understanding of the English language and communication in general. It is a rather cautious and mild statement. If you don't like it, delete it, but it certainly doesn't make the writer a "creep", or deserving to be put in the same category as a rude pervert. 

There might be things in your past that make you feel uncomfortable about the people's slightest attempts to make contact with you, but you can't blame them for trying, they mean no harm and they simply don't know your history.

What if you were sitting at Starbucks, and yelling "OH MY GOD GO AWAY CREEP" at the guy at the table next to you, who dared asking "your coffee smells good, may I know what kind is it?'  People around would stare at you in disbelief, because it's an extreme reaction to an inoffensive event. 

Hi Nicolas

Again, it's not about language or facts or anything that can be deduced from wording - it's about an emotional response and that is something you simply cannot judge another person for.

I don't recal anyone yelling to anyone but again, someone's very personal response is their own and again, it's not our place to judge.

I hope this eventually makes sense to you and you don't feel the need to argue anymore.

Have a fab evening and rest of the week!

Guys, why nobody gives positive examples? I know few folks who met their loves (including me  ) via glocals, because they just dropped friendly message once :-)

On the other hand, I agree with Lia and Reka, that's internet forum, you don't know absolutely this stranger who "knocked at your door" with chat request and in most of cases they are just looking for "fun".

At the same time I see Nicolas' point, I think most of ladies starting to be angry when receiving another message about drinks or "let's keep in touch u r good-looking lol lol" and missing just friendly lines.

So let's have a nice evening everyone and another time thank Nir for creating  glocals :-))))))))))))

Dina

LOL - aint that the truth ...

one womans 'creep' is anothers 'sex god'

Goodness me Reka, I'm sorry to hear this! I can honestly say that I have never had such requests (thank god). There is only one way to deal with such requests: report to Oded or Nir. Full-stop. No discussion. 

The other lines like 'hey, what do you do in Geneva?' etc, are not offensive and I think that is what such sites are here to do: bring like-minded people together. Men and women. 

So, there are three options available: do not accept requests (delete messages), report offensive persons, or accept friendships. 

Wow, very interesting post, I must say... 

It helps to understand what you can feel when one reads the kind of mail reka1123 is getting. I mean : really ?? That blunt ? That creepy ? brrrr.. it's chilling to think anyone could treat anyone else this way, even at 2 am and even behind the comfort of their screen.. 

I won't say I don't occasionally start a conversation with  a woman i find cute. Hey, I'm only human! But never in such a manner that would make my mum faint... 

We're all entitled to look out our best, men and women alike, without being harassed. Let us just all be careful with who's out there and what could trigger the fire of their hormone's gun 

That's an interesting point - and maybe something for a new thread - given this site (as Glocals and Genevaonline) has been running for a few years has anyone actually met through it and got married yet?  

Yes Nir announced the first glocals marriage a couple of years ago I think it was Deano1uk who married his wife he had met on glocals.

I just thought of this last night (and really, as a comms person I should be sacked for not thinking of this before!)

I think what folks also need to keep in mind is that using the medium of the web might also be causing a big problem.

If a guy approaches me in person and makes a pass - I can read tone of voice, body language, style etc etc and generally make a far better assumption if dude is creepy or if he's just a regular well-meaning guy.  Face-to-Face allows that.

But even the classiest person risks setting off the creepy alarm with a lot of women and men when you make a pass at someone via the web.

1) I have no idea who you are. Your picture could be fake and even if it's not - there's no rule saying that you're excused from being totally bananas just because you have nice hair.

2) I can't read tone of voice.  It's the difference between me emailing my best pal and starting it "Hey cookie! I bet you look great today" (which I do a lot) or me emailing a random lady saying "Hey cookie! I bet you look great today"  One is nice and friendly because there's an established relationship - the other is just, well, weird.

3) I can't read body language.  People say a lot just via body language. Imagine someone cool and chill approaching you vs. someone jittery and nervous.  Both say a lot.

I guess what I'm saying is - to all the dudes and ladies out there who fancy someone on Glocals via their picture alone, save the hitting on part until you actually meet these folks in person.  You'll both have a better sense of who they are and their intentions if you wait until then.

Also - yay for people who met online and eventually got married. I have a couple of pals like that and I think its fab.

I agree.

A warning to many.... If youre hitting on people online just because of a nice picture, in ALOT of cases youre in for a proper shock when (IF) you meet them.

Im a "legs" guy...(and eyes)... and most pics dont show both... so... having made a few schoolboy errors in the past and entered into what can only be described as a "dwarf festival" (no insult intended to dwarves or those vertically challenged from the ankle to the hip) I remain a ferment face to face person.

Lia but this applies to all women - its all to do with looks...creepy is when a man who you do not find physically attractive makes a move - If they were good looking you wouldnt be bothered...in fact you'd like it

what a load of bull.....

for sure .......

Hullo - I also talked about body language and tone of voice. 

Girls... I think we are almost all agreed that "univited sex chat" is not welcome by anyone.

I would find it creepy even if Eva Herzogavina decided I was her target online at 2am... since Im sure it would be bound to be some fat naked man having a joke.  

The Admins have given their opinion... block or delete or report if warranted.

Theres no substitute to reading a smile face to face.... and there are lots of parties and events to do that in perfect safety.

Now next subject.....

Lia and Charlie, you've both made some excellent points. The other key factor I would cite is that many of us come from different cultures and we don't all speak the same sort of English.  Men and women of the same culture generally know the limits of acceptable behavior. 

To Keith P I would say that many physically attractive people can reduce their desirability to zero by weird behavior. 

I have to give a BIG shout out to the Brothers Ofek for taking prompt action in dealing with inappropriate behavior w.r.t. unwanted attention. They keep glocals a  fairly safe social network where one can meet lots of different people and have fun.

I wonder if the OP unsubscribed like 50 comments ago...

THIS.  Keith P had it right if only he'd drop the word "physically."  The bottom line is that an attractive man whom a woman finds appealing (for whatever reason) will often get a pass for bad behaviour that an undesirable man would never receive.  When people talk about "creeper" behavior they are describing the man just as much as his actions.

Never underestimate the rapidity with which a woman will jettison her carefully conceived dating/mating criteria when in the presence of a highly charismatic man.  I've witnessed it far too many times to call it a fluke.

Rich said: "Never underestimate the rapidity with which a woman will jettison her carefully conceived dating/mating criteria when in the presence of a highly charismatic man.  I've witnessed it far too many times to call it a fluke."

Rich:

Surely you've seen this behaviour applied by women when other men are with them, not when you're with them...(-:

Was Richardm not Rich.

all of the above.   =)

I still don't see what's so chilling or horrible about receiving some email from a stranger... 

I also get sexual requests via email from those adult websites about women in my area being desperate to meet me.... or enlarge the size of your penis type emails..... treat it just the same... it's unwanted spam, delete, block and move on!

I mean, if an email from some horny giggolo-wannabe gets some of you up in arms, then is time to step outside the bubble and experience this hard cruel world in which we live!!!

OK all you online freaks, if you really want to meet other glocals in real life, then come this Saturday to our big Halloween Party, where we expect 1600 guests. 

Halloween Party details: http://www.sindy.ch/Halloween2011.htm

I think that under these masks, from last year's party, are Translator & AndyO, plotting their forum strategies: 

Because there is a history of abuse of women by men:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michele-weldon/domestic-abuse_b_1022631.html

Not saying that male solicitors of unwanted sex will automatically become abusers but the possibility of this happening is high enough to make a woman worry. The other way round? Not so much.

Oh Nir! I was going to  surprise you but I will tell you now that Andy O is attending as a hasidic rabbi and I'm going as his wife with wig and 8 children.

Shana  tova!

I heard a terrible story just this morning on BBC News. A man in the UK whose adult daughter was killed by someone she met on facebook is fighting for compulsory disclosure on facebook profiles of previous criminal convictions,  Apparently the killer had a previous conviction for domestic violence.

And there is, of couse, the craigslist killer...

Amna a: What do you propose?

Not so much????? men can be abused by women too in fact is very common....  

I was reading the news and a man was killed by his wife after years of him enduring physical abuse, this in Portugal....  

And in my country, there was a very very pretty lady who would contact men online so she could go over to their flats, steal everything and kill them along with his other female friend.

Let's not even go to the psychological abuse many men receive from women, I know personally of a case of a guy who almost went to prison for several years because his girlfriend at the time, lied and told the cops their he abused her, it comes up after an investigation that the "lady" was just jealous and wanted to make sure he would only be with her...... by the way, after everything was over he had to see a psychiatrist because he wanted to kill himself.  (and cases like that are very very common according to a prosecution lawyer I have spoken to)  ISN'T THAT ABUSE?

liek I said above.... some of you need to step outside the bubble and join the real world!

And by the way, how in the world can one be physically abused thru the internet?

if an adult person man or woman is stupid enough, to allow some person they never met face to face, and they only know them outta craiglist, facebook or whatever into their home..... then it's not about physical abuse, it's about being stupid and lacking judgement.

OK - hands up, it's a fair cop

Aiding and abetting the dangerous driving of a motorcycle in 1968 - fined £2. 

1970. One night in police cells somewhere in Minnesota for vagrancy - no breakfast provided because I had $10 in my pocket and a $99 Greyhound monthly pass. 

Then I got a car and started receiving all sorts of unsolictated approaches from police and parking authorities which i tried to ignore by binning them but they would keep on pestering me....There was no protection against harrassment in those days 

Do I put this on my profile so that you all (both sexes) can sleep soundly at night?

I don't know where the actual killing in the BBC took place.

I do appreciate  that this social network is local and that the site owners appear to make every effort to ban people who go over the line.

I am not on facebook or craigslist for various reasons.

People who  are victims of attacks generally shouldn't be blamed because of anothers psychopathic behavior.

That is a bit harsh.  Some of them are smooth operators and so you should include unlucky in your statement. 

I would think most of the harrassment on the chat lines is harmless provided the recipient stops the chat. and it could be (at least I hope so) that such persons hide behind the anonymity of the computer screen and that is as far as it goes.  Their pleasure is in their imagination and this is fuelled by people getting upset.

Beware far more of the smoothie who comes up to you at a party or a bar, giving all the right vibes.

As other posters have stated spam mails are equally annoying and I am very tempteed to reply to them telling them what I think of them - but that will just increase the amount of spam.   Ignore them or lead them on - it is up to the individual. 

Yes Andy I do agree that women can abuse men too. I shan't dispute your facts.

I merely conjectured that there are more women, raped, beaten and killed by men than the other way round. If you have facts to contradict me I'd be enlightened to read them.

Some of us actually do live in the real world: lived under military dictatorships, worked with abused women, seen poverty, oppression and outright violence virtually at my doorstep. Lucky for me I am out of that now. Lucky for me I have a great man and three amazing children. 

I find your constant refrain that 'some' of us need to step outside of the bubble and live in the real world rather amusing.

I agree, if I am walking down the street and some one comes and attacks me, it's not my fault

But If I am contacted by some obscure character online and then he/she asks me to meet over at X place where the two of us will be alone.... shouldn't I know better? 

Part of the responsibility falls on the victim in that case....

like the men in my country who would let two ridiculously good looking women into their homes just because they told them online that they were lesbian lovers and were just looking for a threesome.... then these women would come in the house, pointing a gun at the victim would force him to give them all his info, from credit card numbers to bank accounts, then shoot these men and steal everything of value. (The victims should have known better....  it's party their fault!)

richardm: what do I propose vis a vis.....? Can you clarify?

Above you made a link between "solicitors of unwanted sex" and male-on-female abuse.  From an abuse prevention perspective, what would you suggest that men (or women) do?

Well, i the first scenario you described often happens in so-called date rape and many cops, prosecutors and jurors think as you do which is why is one of the reasons rape is such an underreported crime.

A local social network can be safer because you can perhaps get some information about people and meet others at group events.

I think the current system works well as long as people use it.

Report to Oded or Nir. And don't ever reveal your email or telephone numbers or addresses I suppose.

Amna, when I say step out of the bubble and into the real world, I mean it as a general statement.... I am not directing it at someone directly.

It's easy to be too comfortable in Switzerland and to think everything is a problem or an issue, after all we're unfortunate enough to live in one of the wealthiest countries in the world.... it's too easy to forget how the real world is, when you're an expat in CH.

Add to that your surname as it is very easy to find someone's address and phone number via directory assistance unless you pay to be unlisted.

The women who lie and tell the authorities their husband / boyfriends / partners raped and abused them should go to jail.

Some countries there don't even have laws in instances lke that and these lying women "walk away with murder" there are even cases of men going to prison for several years after these accusers come and tell the authorities they lied and STILL the law won't touch these women!!!

if it was up to me, I would make them spend 20 years behind bars... if they have the guts to viciously destroy a man's life with lies, then they should have the guts to face prison sentences for lying to the authorities!

Well, yes and some of us discussed that on another thread about rape and slutwalk ...

I haven't hear of anythng really abusive happening to anyone  at a glocals event and I hope it stays that way.

sorry for the typos! 

Oh Andy o. That response makes me so sad.

ugh.

Reka, I think the point was to have a balanced and fair law, completely irrespective of how it was in the past. Whether or not we have a balanced set of laws now is up for debate..

As the scientist that posted awhile ago the results of the joint study Creep Deterence Theory (see the results) http://www.glocals.com/#/forums/geneva/where-how-in-geneva/Creep-Deterrence-Theory-114171.htm%23msg_120895

,I would have to strictly stick with Liv on this one. Geneva does have a problem with harrassment on the streets. The problem isn't flirting - the problem is open aggressive advances from strangers you've never met, as well as being thrown bottles at. Liv, after a 4 year study of the streets of Geneva, there are certain factors that magnify or decrease the creep coeficient, it turns out. (Ilva, btw, I'm loving the sale of tyres proposal - I would take this one on any day!!! The next thing would be to get a car so that I can use them.)

Liv, you'll hear a lot of : wait till you're old and ugly and then you'll remember how you complained ... and people will continue making comments about looks or clothes. Truth is you can get creepofied even wearing in a hooty, as long as you're a woman walking around alone, you're free game in this city. So, take it easy, stay safe, avoid the lake promenade at Baby Plage in the evening, cover up in a burka, and walk around with at least 2 guys around ... Seriously, stay safe. I know what you mean and it's not a pathetic cry of: Oh my Gosh, I'm so hot, look at me!!! The city has a different street culture  ... and oh yeah ... don't talk to guys who carry empty bottles

Keith, it's the act itself, not the person doing it. Being thrown a bottle at is equally scary irrespective if the guy is good looking or not, rich or not. Being offered a paid threesome by two guys in day light at the lake promenade is weird, irrespective of how they look or how much they're offering. And being chased by a dad with a baby in a stroller (baby jumping up and down) is kinda weird irrespective of how the dad looks. It's not me, it's the city. Only in Geneva, my friends, only in Geneva. I don't get that in any other city.

This thread cracked me up, some men actually blaming women for being creeped on because they look nice in their photo. Classic. 

I am intrested in some of these messages yous are getting you should start a named and shamed thread. Link to their profile and quote their message, Im sure this would slow some would be down.

Not blaming women for looking nice on their photo but simply pointing out that a 'creep' normally is going to attempt to '0charm' a girl with a nice or 'fun' photo and they should not be surprised.  This is life and alwayshas been even before the internet

the easiest solution to the website 'harrassment' is for there to be a DTF option when you sign up

By not condeming the so called creep its sort of saying its ok tho.

Without entering into the debate on the definition of a creep or what constitutes physical attraction, I agree with the girls that this is supposed to be a site for activities,professional networking, relocating etc. It is not supposed to be for casual encounters, virtual sex or whatever. There are plenty of other sites for that. I have been a member for a few years and have noticed an increase of late in messages from men making "indecent proposals"  or trying to engage in chat about sex. I've even had to change my profile because certain words I had used were misinterpreted. I'll spare you the details. Sometimes before I've even had time to read the messages , I've received a message from admin saying that the member has been removed. So clearly messages are being monitored or more women on this site are reporting such situations. And what is wrong with wanting to chat in the early hours of the morning? Sometimes I can't sleep so I turn on my computer and am happy to chat with people who share common interests. It doesn't mean I'm looking for anything more. The best advice I can give is either don't post a photo or at least don't post a provocative one because I agree that it's nice to be able to see who you are talking to.

But you have gone too far the other way.  Looking at your photo as it appears above, I thought you were a man (only because it is so dark) and could not understand why men were chatting you up.  Only by hitting your profile, and reading could I tell you were female

Time to get another appointment at the opticians Paul for upgraded specs....

Scozz is scorching ....

OK question to the guys:

You are in the forum chatting to a girl. You see in her profile that she is in a relationship or married. Do you still ask her out for a drink?

Just wondering if they are any cultural differences. Because where i come from, you dont ask a woman you dont know out even for a friendly drink if she is attached

It depends on the motive.  I have suggested this when someone has wanted to know more about the Swiss Alpine Club but I could not care less whether that person is male, female, attached or unattached.  Also this is done in reply to emails rather than on a chat line.

Give me a few more years and maybe I can mutate into a d..y old man.

In answer to your question, after I have undergone my mutation I do not think I would ask an unknown attached woman out but I would have no qualms about suggesting a drink to a woman I know whether she is attached or unattached but would respect that attachment as I would expect her to respect mine

Signed ...old man (soon to be dirty but still married) 

I think many of you have brought up very good points in this thread and for those of you who have shared personal stories, thank you. It is not always easy, yet it certainly adds a very real dimension to many of the things we are talking about here.

Without trying to sound too much like a broken record, I think we all need to recognise that there is a large-scale problem with the harassment women (and sometimes men) undergo in Geneva... whether it be on the street or on the internet. Denying it just enables it to go on further as opposed to facing it head on. Sure, this city is one of the wealthiest in the world with one of the highest standards of living. Yet somehow, harassment and violence against women - especially sexual violence - is something which seems to slip between the cracks, as it occurs constantly but nothing seems to be done about it.

I think for many, there may be assumptions about those receiving the attention they are getting - that they want it, that it gives them a thrill. Honestly, that rings alarm bells in my head. It sounds all too much like saying, “Oh, I raped her… she wanted it, she had a short skirt on.” I understand that that is an extreme example, yet for me, it can be related to some reactions in this thread.

I accept that for those who may have not had similar experiences, my complaints may seem ridiculous. Yet it reigns important to me that we not judge any person who has been harassed or has been inflicted with unwanted attention. I believe that feeling threatened, intimidated, vulnerable, defensive and angry are all quite normal responses to being harassed in any arena (online or in person). And in that, we need to be cautious about how we address people who have had experiences such as these. I would like to think now that more people are being open about the harassment or assault they have experienced, we would have learned that it is wrong to judge them, especially because they are in a position of needing support and acceptance. (I’m not saying this was a wildly traumatic experience for me and I am now desperately in need of therapy because some men have been looking to get freaky. This is more of a general statement and doesn’t only relate to online harassment.)

I agree with what many people have expressed above in regards to what a "creeper" is. For me, at least, it does not come down to physical appearance, nor does it have anything to do with the size of a person's wallet. If they are being overtly sexual in an utterly inappropriate situation, if they are constantly staring, etc, they are a creeper. I really don't give a crap if you are the flyest creature in the universe, if you're creepy, you're creepy.

Well, that's Geneva - again people go out with other people even if they are in serious relationships... unfortunately. I've even heard stories of a pregnant friend of mine who was being asked out by some guy - she pointed to the belly and he said that doesn't bother him...

Liv - love this.