hey joe. 

in one of his standup routines, stewart lee discusses at length how his mum isn't proud of him, despite the fact that he was voted 42nd best standup of all time. comedy simply didn't register on her radar. he likened it to being 42nd tallest dwarf. taller, admittedly, than all but 41 of the other dwarfs, but a dwarf nonetheless.

geneva is to crime what comedy is to stewart lee's mum. the rate may be higher, admittedly, than most other places in switzerland. maybe even all, i guess it depends upon how you count. but that would just make one of the slightly taller dwarfs. 

I have lived here for 13 years now and nothing has ever happened to me: my bike was not stolen, I was not pickpocketed and nothing was ever stolen from me (which are the 3 "crimes" most likely to occur here!). There are people who get pickpocketed in the tram every 2 weeks but just look at how they are presenting their bags (ladies!!!)....

And, oh, there are the guys playing these fake games down by the lake and "earning" a lot of money from the tourists - too bad but if people want to be stupid that's their own problem.

No, seriously, you will be safe here. Compared to St Gallen it will be way more international (that's why the swiss germans think it's unsafe... of course it's only the foreigners who commit crime.... haha), there's a few prostitutes around in Paquis but all those people won't do you any harm. Just one thing I would be careful - if you walk around the train station ostensibly showing off your laptop bag and not paying attention to your surroundings then you might have a bad surprise.

Also lived in Kanton St Gallen and moved from Rapperswil to Geneva in 2005. I did notice more people looking shady, more rubbish and a less "pristine" feel to the area, but you know what...most of the shady people just look shady, and the rubbish..well its rubbish, and the atmosphere is somewhat more alive and real than St G.

Just lock your front door when you go out, keep your wallet in your front pocket in a crowd and be aware... then it will still feel safer than most other European cities, and certainly more cosmopolitan than St G.

Relativity is the key, as heyes alluded to.... its all relative. Nothing to be worried about.

Lots of bankers, insurance reps, cab drivers, regies... Holmes Place staff... yeah... I guess crime is pretty high in Geneva.

here in St Gallen people often leave their doors open. I don't like the idea of having to worry about being pickpocketed and can't understand how on street prostitution is allowed in the Paquis area. I had one bad experience already in Geneva where, while walking in the city centre, a guy offered to sell me drugs. Unbelievable!

I'm talking about street crime

I had one bad experience already in Geneva where, while walking in the city centre, a guy offered to sell me drugs. Unbelievable!

Dude, I hear you! I've have loads of bad experiences with people offering me drugs in Geneva. I mean, the prices of these street deals are simply outrageous. But try not to worry, once you've been here for a bit you'll build your own little network and the bang-to-buck ratio will certainly rise. Have faith - Glocals is about community. 

I have no problems in Geneva despite having 2 bikes and I car stolen.  Have also been offered drugs but was a waste of time becasue I prefer beer.  One word of advice.  Thieves who break into an appartment tend to choose an appartment with only one lock, so if your door has only one lock, consider spened a couple of hundred francs and install a second one.  Not a very neighbourly thing to do but it helps protect your possessions

of course people like you who buy drugs are part of the problem. Should I really move to a place like this or stay in pretty and safe St Gallen?

A traumatic experience, indeed; especially the filthy amount of money they're asking for a few grams of it!

Beat me to it! Nice.

High Five!

You mean we should steal it? Not a bad idea. I like your way of thinking.

I am assuming that his whole thing is a wind up.  How can somebody coming from UK be worried about the crime rate in Geneva

wow, Geneva seems to be a drug hotspot. These youths who dress like rappers are also a worry. What's with that?

They'll just steal the money you had saved to buy drugs; so no worries for you.

Joe, are you for real?

They have prostitutes in St Gallen too, and drugs, and mafia running cabarets, and easter european burglers, and rascally road racers, and drunken brawls at night outside kebab shops...

I prefer to see the crime coming , its easier to avoid, rather than it sneaking up on me when im not looking, and in St gall its the state that hides the statistics.

Dont want to be rude dude, but I suggest you "grow a set"

I am for real. In the past I have been a victim of two muggings and was also stabbed once so I am very nrevous about crime .

Im sorry for your experiences Joe, but in fairness, the likelyhood of a mugging or stabbing here is extremely low. If youre careful you can avoid most things.

Anyway, most street crime here is by bad guys versus bad guys... they dont stab the customers ;-)

In the usenet we used to say "dont feed the trolls".. this chicken seems fake to me.

Maybe I was a bit hard.  Tend to agree with Charlie.  If you hang around areas where there is crime you can invite it.   I have been mugged once (in Moscow) but it was my own fault as I had had too much to drink.  Stabbings normally are not random but if you keep a low profile or hang around with friends there should be no problem.  Only you know the circumstances as to how you happened to be stabbed and are best to jusge how to avoid it in the future.   The so called dangerous plsaces in Geneva (eg the crowds during the fête) are a muggers paradise so I do not take a bulky wallet with me just one credit card and a few notes.   

it didn't happen in Switzerland. People do get stabbed here and it is not a thing to make fun of.

You have to make the decision yourself.  Geneva is a relatively safe city and you can leave your door unlocked if you want but it is inviting trouble. Have no more to add so am leaving this forum. Good luck

Joe, just FYi you can find drugs dealers along the Rhone just outside your new future employers building... especially near the Mont blanc parking, and also in the Jardin Anglais.

Come out  of the employees entrance turn right and walk 50 paces...

Unless of course your desk will be up on the rte de Lausanne, in which case you are in Paquis.... and all hell breaks loose there.

If I were you, i would ask for a transfer to the Zueri office, cos there are no stabbings or dealers near the banks office in Zueri.

actually the new office are in Blandonnet, right beside a police station

where you could get arrested for loitering

don't worry, joe. marina will look after you when you arrive. 

I grew up (and still often go back to) a small town in german speaking Switzerland and I don't know anybody who leaves his door open!

Don't worry about being pickpocketed. Just don't be stupid. But that's the same in all cities around the world.

Prostitution happens to be legal in Switzerland, a job like any other (apparently there's the demand for it - only you guys can tell me!) :-) They do hang out on the street but these ladies are not dangerous.

Drug dealers - yes they do offer drugs, it has happened to me too, and not only in Geneva. Just say no and walk away, again they're not dangerous (at least not for you).

I understand that you've had bad experiences but there's definitely a very low risk of being stabbed in the middle of the street in Geneva.

There are some simple measures to keep safe that apply to everywhere in the world and seem very obvious to me (but not to a lot of people) - don't get drunk when you have to walk home alone, ride a bike instead of public transport, don't carry an open handbag, don't show off your laptop, don't show off anything at all, keep control of the space around you, lock your bike with a u-lock, lock your door when you go out, don't accept sweets from stangers :-)

Joe, you'll be totally fine. Stop worrying, it's bad for your health.

Thanks, I do feel intimidated though by these kids who dress like rappers

And change your friggin' name! It's a provocation to all hunters here... and it may prevent hayes to bang you after rising your ratio.

Karatesamba for Beginners

Sheeeit. I so read that as Karatemasutra the first time.

Well..

me and 3 friends got their wallets stolen in different days here in Geneve but its always without violence.. I mean they take it and you don't see it...

thats all I know that happened with me and close friends in one year and a half..

Sheeeit. I so read that as Karatemasutra the first time.

No beginners here! Bollock belt of Karatemasutra or nothing!

You're going to have to trust me on this, but I also wrote "I guess you just see what you want to see". But then I deleted it. 

freudian

bah, you jungians don't know what you're talking about. 

why are there so many americans in geneva? is this why there is such a demand for drugs there?

Drugs and knives!

which they buy off the georgian mafia, who also supply the tarts to the rapper pimps in paquis who in turn buy the bling from the gypsey robbers camped all around geneva...

its the wild west of switzerland

LOL!!  Marina, hayes, Charlie & Casuistik...seriously...when's comedy night?? You're all tooo funny!  Front row seat for me please!!

ask a serious question and look what I get

 Lannah

Comedy night would involve me coming out from behind my computer, and thats truely dangerous. esp if the Jamaican Yardies are taking front row seats

Joe

I have a serious question for you, when you were stabbed, was it in the brain?

Just asking...

Boi! Boi! Boi!  wha 'appen? Big bwouy like yu fraid?? Chu!  Besides..Marina will protect you

Would it help if I told you I was 1/2 Irish??

...or that I grew up in Trinidad and had a trini accent til i was 6, cha man boombastic, me still sceard.

LOL! Hush...never mind! Poor you

no, it was in the face, I am permanetly scarred as a result

how long ago?

So, my crime in Geneva has been minor, but we have had 3 incidents in 1 year.... the latest, the most bizzare...

First... within 7 days of moving to Geneva, someone stole my bike from our locked storage shed inside our locked garage.  So, it is good to know that the people you live with are theives.  We noticed it missing because somone also took my wifes bike, but left it outside and it is a very distinct bike, so we got that one back.

Second, I stupidly left my cell phone in the cup holder in my car when we came home and someone decided to bash my car window in and take it.  This was preventable, since I left the phone there as an invitation.

Finally, this past week, in that dreaded bike shed again, someone decided to 'rob' a tube our of the back tire of my daughters bike.  They took the wheel off and took the inner tube, left everything else there.  Interesting.....bizzare, but true crime of Geneva!!

Now, is that all, no, we have had my car spray painted (along with 20 others on the street one evening) as well as my license plates stolen.  I am so glad I park on the street in Geneva.

Is Geneva safe, I think so, just expect a lot of nuscience crimes and small things to happen.  Lock your bike tubes down!!  I do agree with most posters, Geneva has more crime than most of Switzerland, but compared to other parts of the world, it is still quite low.

Dan

Help I cannot unsubscribe from this thread.  Have tried but messages keep coming.   But I am now curious as to what reply Charlie has alread prepared for the answer to 'how long ago' when it comes.   Thank goodness I have decided to stay in Lugano this weekend because if Joe makes a trial run in Geneva all hell will break loose

my question to joe about "how long ago" was not me being beastly at all, i just wanted to get an idea as to how a grown man can continue to have such worries in a place like switzerland.

I was attacked at Cornavin, dragged out a cab by three guys at 3am, of course a huge brawl started and luckily it all ended up ok for me, but I admit i was still a tad nervous and much more aware of my surroundings for a few weeks after then, and in fact a couple of years later I take more care around there at night.

I have travelled extensively and probably been in places or areas I shouldnt have been late at night, but I do think its about attitude, and how a person projects himself, or herself.

Victims, tend to be in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong attitude. (or drag the wrong guy out of a taxi late at night)

most burglaries are preventable, most pickpockets avoidable, and once its happened you should learn from it to prevent it happening again, but not revert into a shell, because that wont help anyone, least of all yourself.

So i asked Joe, so I could see whether in my opinion his worry (and frankly very stupid line of questioning) was in any way jusifiable, or whether in my opinion he needs help to waylay his fears becuase theyre (im glad to say) not altogether relevant in Geneva or other parts of Switzerland if youre sensible.

I will come to Geneva this weekend to see for myself just how dangerous it really is. Can anyone recommend a hotel in a safe neighbourhood?

Charlie, I now live in a safe area and have no worries. I don't want to move somewhere where I constantly have to think about safety and whether or not I may be attacked, that's all. I understand that if you are american you feel that violent crime is normal as you come from a violent society but in St Gallen it is just not like that.

There are few on this page that would probably tick all of your boxes.

its the final weekend of the fetes de geneva... 100'000s of people on the streets, and probably most hotels booked out.

You can try the fete tourism site on

http://www.fetesdegeneve.ch/?rubrique=0000000183

or call hotels directly.

Maybe the Warwick hotel opposite the station, its convenient to all the action of the fete and paquis......

dude. 1) Im Irish , not American 2) I lived in St Gallen before moving here 5 yrs ago. 3) even the dodgy areas here are safe compared to London , Manchester or Glasgow.

Yes its busier and yes you need to be more careful, but so woudl you if you moved to Zurich from St Gallen... bigger city = bigger potential issues.

Just be careful, be aware, and dont ask people fucking stupid questions or they'll clock you... isnt life simple?

Charlie - go easy on the guy.  He works in IT is a language trotting globe fan or something like that. You could always apply for US citizenship and keep your Irish nationality and that way not get scarred for life by IT guys.  I have come to the conclusion that he does not exist and is a guy with a bit if ti^me on his hands trying to wind people up.  If you look back to the original question it is just not real. 

ha ha! This thread has had me secretly giggling in the office behind my desk!! 

I can't really make out whether Joe is serious or "for real" or not. In any case I'd have to say that "constantly having to worry about safety" is a major overstatement for Geneva. As most people have said, it may have more crime than other cities in Switzerland but come on, is that saying anything at all???? Oh wait, someone might pickpocket me, shock horror!!! Geneva is most definitely a safe place. All the posts above testify to this fact: it's only a place of small opportunist crimes. If you're safe and have your head on straight and don't go around looking vulnerable and showing everyone you have an iphone4 then you'll be fine. It's like everyone has said, just don't make yourself a victim and you'll be fine. If you're as paranoid as you sound then maybe you shouldn't move and decide to permanently live in St Gallen where you will never feel threatened and will always be able to go out without a fear....

As some other people have said, there are far more dangerous places around the world (that are not only in the US) and some of us have travelled there and come back safe. So why Geneva?

By the way, thanks all for helping me out of my afternoon boredom 

I am real and will be in Geneva this weekend!

Sorry Emma you are definitely not living in the real world (or haven't had time to read all the messages. Charlie has just threatened to clock Joe for calling him an drug ridden American. Surely this is a question of premeditated GBH, soemthing which would never happen in St Gallen (unless Charlie is already on his way there)

Hi Paul,

He also posted a question about the remuneration packages and work environment at a bank here he was interviewing at,... i presume hes lucky not many employees of that bank read this, otherwise he woudnt be looking for a place in Gva. (well not if an interviewee I was seeing posted such a question)

Fear of crime after being a victim is one thing, idiot and naive online questions are completely another, i actually fear for his safety here if hes for real.

Hi Joe,

This weekend is going to be very crowded as it is the last weekend of Fêtes de Genève. And when you say big crowd, you also say bigger opportunities for pickpockets. So, if you worry about safety in Geneva, this might not be the best weekend to come to the city.. But on the other hand, this is probably one of the very few times during the year where Geneva is a vivid city..

If you decide to come and want to stay in a safe and quiet neighbourhood, maybe you could try "Maison Le Fort" at Cologny. It is a very nice area, but it is a bit outside of the city, so you would need a car and/or use the taxi at night.

Concerning crime in Geneva, well, as said before, pickpockets, bike stealing and drugs dealing are the three major ones. But if you are a bit careful and do not show off all you value, you will lower the risk of being pickpocketed to the minimum.

Concerning bike stealing, it happens, yes. But it is the same, you lock it and try, when possible, to lock it on public place with a lot of people and to an object (a post, a fence, etc). If you leave alone in a small dark alley, probabilites of having your bike stolen gets higher..

Finally, drugs dealers. If you do not mess with them they will not mess with you. They are mostly located in the same areas, so maybe you want to avoid them at night. But even if you go there and a dealer offers you some drugs, simply say "no thanks" and keep on walking.

So, to sum up, I have lived in Geneva most of my life and I only got my bike stolen once when I was in highschool. At that time, I had a nice bike with a bad lock.. Now, I have invested in a good lock and nothing has happened so far.

I do not live in an area with drugs dealers, but I go out sometimes in these areas. I have never had any trouble. I even can remember some good jokes I exchanged with some of the dealers. Some of them are really funny.. ;-)

Concerning pickpocket, it is all about the opportunities you give them. If you are careful with your stuff, you should be fine.

Finally, shit happens, so it is possible than once someone steal your wallet, but do not live afraid of it, because the more afraid you are, the more you will bring bad luck to you.

But the most important is that there is not a lot of violence in Geneva. I mean, you will most likely not be kidnapped, shot or whatever can happen in many other cities around the world. Geneva is very safe for that. Of course, there are fights happening in the bars, clubs, etc. But most often, if you do not get involved, you will not get beaten. But I guess this is exactly the same all around the world!

I think that 90% of what can happen to you comes from the way you behave!

The only thing dangerous in Geneva is the 8 CHF Starbucks coffee, which I have been praying, is not burnt rubber. But I have my doubts.

The second dangerous thing in Geneva is the asian guy who almost thought he could sit on the Jet d'Eau during my lunch outing today. Watch out for the guy. He stops at nothing.

Joe, study the below video carefully before venturing out to the geneva wild west! 

And no Dunkin Donuts as well. That must surely qualify as a crime.

My daughter is in Geneva this weekend so I will tell her that if she sees anyone dressed  like a chicken, he (or his wallrt) is ripe for plucking

ha ha ha! hilarious!!! well, I don't know which world I'm in but I like it, and if it involves being attacked with a passionfruit all I can say is BRING IT ON!!! 

Paul, you are the kind of guy who sends his daughter out on the street stealing wallets? I have seen Roma gypsy children being abused in this way before, it is very sad.

I will pray for your daughter's welfare the next time I attend church.

Hello Joe,

if you know already in which area in Geneva you will be living, I suggest you talk directly to the Police department and ask them what is the crime ratio.  They are generally very helpful and kind.  It will give you of course just an idea of comparison.  The best attitude, may be, is to keep alert and not provoking as in any city in the world now, Geneva is not as safe as before.

Welcome to Geneva! :)  Best of luck to you

Ch

Do you know why all bikes weigh 20kg ?

Well, a lightweight & expensive 5kg bike needs a really good lock (say about 15kg).

On the other hand, a 15kg crappy bike needs only a basic lock (say 5kg).

Either way both weigh 20kg.

My question to Joe Buck - do you have a bike and how heavy is YOUR bike ?

:) happy to know U r back always with great humor!

For Joe (whether or not he is for real) and anyone else who is interested.

Yes, Geneva’s crime rate is probably higher than nearly most other places in Switzerland.

But yes, it is still very low compared to nearly every city of similar or greater size except perhaps some of east Asia's cities.

The good news is that it appears the situation is getting better just recently.  The authorities seemed to have gained more experience in managing the post-Schengen era (not without some pressure from local anti-immigrant political parties).

In particular some zones which saw a sharp increase in crime (such as the zone between the Paquis and the Train Station, and the Wednesday and Saturday Flea Market in Plainpalais) have now managed to revert back somewhat to their previous state by a change in policing structure and, in the case of the Paquis, in a fairly extensive community effort between local residents, businesses, and the police (along with considerable local media publicity) to agree that a more aggressive police presence was needed.

Sadly, a core issue of managing open borders following Schengen is still being resolved.  At the moment, many of the former border checkpoints are not manned.  So basically, anyone can cross the border at will.

Local cantons bordering France (Geneva as well as Basle which had a major casino heist) have undoubtedly brought the issue up to the Federal authorities who control the border posts.  It would seems a simple thing to re-station personnel in the now empty border posts (Schengen permits free immigration of Europeans but does not disallow the checking of documents at the borders).

But there is a uniquely Swiss political situation which is probably delaying (but will ultimately not prevent) re-manning the border posts.  It was mainly Swiss Romande (especially Geneva) which supported the referendum to join Schengen.  So there may be a perception that any problems which the French border cantons are now suffering was partly of their own doing.

In the meantime, the rise in crime as well as the economic crisis has supported growing support for right wing politics (to the concern of the current liberal administration).

Until the system adjusts and restores itself, it may seem that crime in Geneva is the worst in Switzerland if you are Swiss.  But to foreigners, the situation is still far better than the rest of the world’s major cities (unless you are from Japan or, perhaps, Singapore).

If one is concerned, it is worthwhile to talk to the local police or trusted property agents before choosing a place to live (sadly it is hard to find an inexpesive place to live here also).  In general, the areas which are generally considered to be less safe are the Paquiz, Jardin Anglais at night + nearby parts of Eau Vives, and perhaps Avanchet.  There are some Genevois who refuse to go into these areas after dark (which most foreigners consider to be over cautious).

By the way, if one comes from a place where crime is high, you also should be aware that there is in general a low tolerance for violence here (as in most of Switzerland).  So if you do something which is considered normal for defense (or even civil duty) in many places outside Switzerland (for example, you hear a lady scream and a robber is running with a purse, you stick your foot out and trip him, he breaks a finger), you may be considered the criminal (your violent actions will not be deemed justified by the crime being committed).

In general, most would agree that one should not avoid Geneva because of perceptions of crime (most find getting an affordable apartment rental to be a bigger challenge).  But with a little research, one can minimize one’s risks.

In any case, it is likely that the situation will gradually improve as the authorities learn more about adjusting to Schengen.  Such is the process of Switzerland’s globalization.

Hope this helps and good luck!

In one year of living in Geneva I have seen first-hand much more crime than in 15+ years of living in Central London.

Ive seen 2 bag snatches (from a street and a pub), Ive had criminals run past me with the police after them and know of one person who was pick pocketed and someone tried to pick pocket me.

Warning to everyone, if someone tries to hook your leg then they are trying to distract and rob you !

Yes, I have come across the hook your leg thing before. So I will be careful. Did you say all this while out at night or during the day?

who cares..... 

nothing has ever happened to me before, I lived in Colombia, Los angeles, New york, Brussels and frankfurt am main, and geneva is the only place where I ever got pick pocketed, they took 180 euros from my jacket around cornavin train station..... I was pissed but it taught me to be more careful.....

it'd be nice if the cops show up a bit more around the area where the two rivers meet because they have a lot of guys every 5 meters offering drugs and its annoying..... it sort of ruins the fun of going down there for a walk or a jog

however this is the 21st century and this a small city with a very international crowd from all walks of life, this is totally normal.

I would say geneva's crime is a joke compared to crime in some places around europe.....  

If you are real, you are weird man!

Why the hell are you insulting people the whole time?

and then say "ask a serious question and look what I get". Are you serious? Look what you said before you got those reactions!

PS: No, I am not American and please stop categorizing people!

Thumbs up for Charlie, Casuistik, hayes, Marina and Paul. You are the best guys :-)

you think it's normal that every 5 meters there are guys who stand around offering drugs?

I haven't insulted anyone, I am an ordinary person who thinks it should be possible to walk on a public street without having to worry about becoming a victim of crime, that's all

Welcome to the "real world" Joe... breathe in, then breathe out, and breathe in again, repeat as often as you like.

Top Tip for Joe visiting Geneva;  you could always get yourself a guide dog and walk around with your eyes shut. That way you wont see any of Satans spawned children plying their evil trade around you.

My personal opinion? .... you need help. Good luck with that.

ha ha ha ha its matter of luck end of the day because I lived/worked in more than 23 countries ( 9 of them are in Africa with a very high rate of all types of crimes you can imagine ) and I uesd to go out there everywhere  ...BUT The only time in my life I faced a real thief was in Geneva ... ( English Garden ) but the good news that I got it  back from him ( after small fight )with no probem again with luck because I felt hs hand in my pocket... and my  final word is Geneva deserve to be LOVED even if it not the most beautiful/safest city mmmm same like when you love your mother even if she is not the most  beautiful woman on earth!

I woke up this morning thinking this guy Joe obviously has nothing to do and just likes winding people up and I thought you little sh..... but then I had a good laugh and it is years since I saw that Monty Python clip so Joe thanks a lot.  But then.... I read the following artilce in the Tribune de Geneve. My French is not that good so there may be some mistakes but the gist is correct.  The peice in on page 4 and is entitled.  "Worrying tendencies in latest crime wave in Geneva - just beofre 1 pm on 7th August police were called to platform 2 of Cornavin station after reports of a scuffle.  on arriving the found the platform deserted but while examing the ground on sector C they found a small pile of prunes, a US visa application form and pages which appear to have been torn from an old copy of Finnegan's Wake.  A police spokesman commented (in French of course): the discovery of prunes on the platform is worrying as there is no known defense against an attack from a madman armed with prunes; how the vicdtom escaped we do not know.  When asked about the visa form and the pages he added: it apppears these were dropped during the scufffle but we cannot draw any conclusions as to the significance of these items"  Police are asking for witnesses to come forward and hae also warned people not approach anyone carrying a bag of prunes."  So Joe do not get the 8.48 from St Gallen or, if you do get off at Nyon 

Day time and evening.

Would be interested to hear a good defence for the leg hook tactic.

sharp elbow to the ribs or just a good shove. i had my wallet taken 3 times in 2 years (never previously had a problem in london, NY, Paris, etc etc) here in gva and i've realised they never want direct physical confrontation. if you shove them back and look like you're prepared to get down and dirty, they run for it! 

last month a guy tried it asking if i knew what the zidane trick was, when he got near, i pushed him back and asked him if he knew what a wheelchair was. a 2 second stare-down contest ensued which he lost and then proceeded to leave saying he hadn't done anything. Right... 

I live near Nyon, it was safe till I moved there.... now the police are reporting strange incidents of wondering and lost looking idiots being randomly "clocked" by an unknown assailant, or assailants.

The Chief of Police was quoted as saying;

" We are not really sure whats going on, we do know that idiots are being clocked, but its hard to take matter further, because the idiots are just plain stupid, and as such when they come in to file their reports our duty desk officer cant stop crying with laughter, and as such we never really get very much down on paper. I can assure the general public though that it is otherwise very safe in and around Nyon, and they have nothing to fear from "clockers" , unless of course you have a penchant for asking strangers completely stupid questions. We advise all idiots to stay at home until further notice."

Strange but  true.... 

[email protected]! 

did the guys who robbed you use the "Zidane trick? In Spain it is called the "Ronaldinho". Here you can see how it works

http://www.lavanguardia.es/premium/publica/publica?COMPID=53947018031&PAGINACIO=36&ID_PAGINA=200806163&ID_FORMATO=9&PARTICION=2006&SUBORDRE=3&SECCIO=&CANAL=53481988165&NAVEGACIO=%27SI%27

one of the times i got it stolen they used the zidane trick. like everyone has been telling you though, if you're careful then you'll be fine. just use common sense and you'll be fine!

Joe: geneva is terrible with plenty of violence!

i was in mcdo the other day...havin  my triumphal sundae ice cream when a bunch of school boys (6 of em) got into the thick of it right inside of the restaurant..

As i was walkin past em with my delicious Sundae ..one of them bumped into me and knocked me sundae or more like it flew over and landed on top of another blokes neck and shirt! I eventually got another sundae while have no idea whether the other bloke got a new shirt!  it was a nice Polo one too...

be careful Joe..specialy when u walk into mcdonalds..cant be too careful these days in geneva...u have been warned...

for you justdoit....

So...Joe,

Did you survive your foray into Switzerlands underbelly of crime and debauchery?

After you spending the weekend here, Im sure we would be interested in hearing your views.

joe buck was pretty upbeat and confident when he arrived at St Gallen station and, on boarding the train, he staked out his favourite forward-facing seat towards the rear of the carriage. he always tried to get this seat. firstly it offered a little extra security in that for some reason i seemed to minimize human contact: statistically, nobody spoke to him when he sat in this seat. furthermore, this seat was advantageous for purely geometrical reasons: years of traveling alone on the IC routes had taught joe buck that it was from here that he could see the maximal number of windows in the carriage. with that, as the train filled up, he would hopefully be able to spy the inverted image of a few over made-up teenage girls as they stare at the blurring landscapes.

unfortunately a slight mis-calculation meant that as the train passed neubaustrecke, the beta blockers started to wear off. as his palms grew sweatier, joe buck struggled to enter the correct combination for the lock on his overnight bag, and proceeded to upturn the entire contents on the seat opposite. it was just a matter of seconds before the horrid realization froze his chest: the bottle was still on the bedside table. 

by the time the train pulled into neuchatel the sticky palms had taken root, and joe buck was teetering on the edge of a full-blown panic attack. despite the fact that all his veins were exploding and he would have to pass literally fifteen people on the platform, he made a break for it. he darted through the tunnel, out of the station after repeating "excuse me this is an emergency" at a volume that was anyway inaudible, he managed to barge his way to the front of the queue at the taxi rank. the children of the family at the front of the line could just about make out his words as he sat in the passenger seat : "i've got 125 francs - can you get me to a village of less than three thousand people?" 

the truly embarrassing thing about the whole escapade was that joe buck really should have said fewer than three thousand people.

lol ...class H,.... (as opposed to class A)

pretty sure Joes in hiding in St Gallen praying for our souls, bless him

Ha-ha-ha!!!

*subscribe to thread*

My flat was tossed 3 weeks ago - watches, gold, silver, computer, cameras, money - they even stole my sport sunglassess (3 pairs)... I have 2 deadbolt locks on my door however I believe the guys were pros (picked the locks) equipped with metal detectors as they went through my place as though they had a blue print of where i hid my belongings. They left behind anything that had a low gold content (ie plate) and pearls. Fortunately they did not do anything disgusting. When i reported the robbery, the police were understaffed and could not send a detective to inspect the premises. I had to make a report over the phone and send in photos. Prior to Geneva,  i lived in London for 14 years and the worst that had happened was being pick pocketed in Paddington Station in 2001. When this happened, the police offered to drive me home.

Several of my colleagues have had their flats broken into. Make sure that you have very secure locks and install a horizontal bar. Doesnt matter where you live.

A friend of mine was robbed while she was riding her bike (pulled off while riding through Place Neuve at dusk). She was then robbed while sitting in her car getting ready to pull off - 2 guys opened her doors and grabber her handbag and briefcase. Both robberies took place this year between January and May.

Take photos and make an inventory of all your belongings and if you have decent watches and any other jewelry have them all itemised on your insurance policy. this will add a bit to your premium but most contents insurance policies will allow only a portion of your overall coverage to be used against precious items and cash. due to the increase in gold - replacement costs have risen 200 - 300% in the last 10 years.  

you think he managed to get an emergency repeat prescription on the weekend? in a tiny neuchatelois village? otherwise how's he going to make it back through the regions of inflated crime density? probably the first thing he thought when he calmed down was that he was going to have to pass neuchatel, bern, and zurich. ZURICH, man! i reckon he's installed himself in a b&b somewhere in the low jura and is waiting out with international cable TV and room service (which he refers to in his mental journal as "provisions").  

rofl...

god forbid he clicks onto the pay per porn channel in the B&B... they'll need to have the white van and straight jacket at the ready. 

hmmm, this might explain his absence today here ;-)

Sorry, to hear that. Who is respobsible for all this crime? My hotel did have leaflets warning about pickpockets and in the tram I saw leaflets warning about con artists and their 3 card trick. I was also shocked by the numer of Roma gypsies begging on the streets, you don't see this in other Swiss cities. geneva is a beautiful city and it is a pity it has such high crime (by Swiss standards).

Friends of mine in London were broken into and it was a very traumatic experience for them

Okay, sounds like high crime for you is the warnings. Warnings are good, they are meant to keep you alert, but for 4 years I have never seen anything. There are some basic rules to secure yourself, be it in Geneva or in your native town. And those who are careless, they invite some attention.

Of course there are ways to reduce the risk of crime being enacted on you, but sadly in the world we live in its a fact of life that crime exists and no amount of precautions will 100% guarantee nothing will happen to you. The trick is to be grateful for surviving crime (if it happens to you), and realise that  material goods can be replaced eventually, a life cant, so be grateful for small mercies and get on with life.

Hiding is also not a option, since you are then already a victim of your imagination and a captive of your own fears. The spiral then just gets worse.

As already mentioned here .."if you look like a meal for wolves, they will surely eat you."

that's right. carry a blade, people. it's the only way. 

Joe just seen this message.  No need to pray for her. She has been trained as a pickpocketer (?) since the age of 5 and I always give her 10% of the takings.  As she is kept locked up at night she has no opportunity to spend the money and so at the age of 25 she is quite rich (although not as rich as her dad)

Ï had you down as an experienced "swordsman".... how appearances can be deceptive huh?

All the best

D'Artagnian

brunettes? eugh, you poor bastard. that just proves there's no god, doesn't it. 

Joe - I think maybe your best bet would be to stay in St. Gallen. Geneva isn't for you. There's no questioning that. After reading your posts, I doubt seriously that we have sufficient legal prescription drugs to keep you from having a nervous breakdown.

I haven't moved to Geneva yet, but will be doing so soon. I have lived in London all my life, and apart from being mugged 3 times there have been no other incidents. Joe if you are for real at 41 you should really be a bit more streetwise by now. By the way which part of the UK are you from?

I have just returned from Geneva after spending 4 days amusing myself in the daytime whilst my partner was at work. In that time I walked to the Cornavin station by myself, went to Nyon ( very nice) and a few other places. This has been my first ever visit to Geneva, so I say don't worry just do it and be sensible about it.

wow, and some people think I am wierd!

What exactly do people mean by street wise? That term makes no sense to me

you know - like socrates. 

Joe - Don't sell yourself short....you are indeed weird!

My first really HUGE laugh of the day...Thanks Joe...

Geneva "streetwise" is when you can approach a dealer without being noticed by lurking cops, and come away from the trade without having over paid or be arrested for buying a illegal substance.

Alternatively if you get into a knife fight, which happens a lot here, you make sure that you draw yours just at the right time so as not to be accused of being the aggressor, and hence get away with a self defense plea.

Or... when meeting a burgler in your bedroom, after coming back from pub, you manage to position yourself instinctively between him/her and the exit and manage to punch him/her in the throat as they try to rush past you with your goodies clasped in their hands.

Im sure others will come up with other suggestions or examples of street wise so as to enlighten you...

i look forward to another day of hearty laughs....

Joe, I tend to believe that the more you focus on things, the more it will happen.... And what are you focusing on? More bad experiences... 

I would be an easy target and I never experienced ANYTHING negative, not even when living in Paris (the city of crime lol) and not even when not sober and walking alone late at night.

Focus on the positive and live your life, coz what is the option? Being stuck inside your apartment?

I wish you a nice day!

BWAHAHAHA! Thanks for making me lol loud when in open office Charlie! Grrr!

lol

After the Great success of the 1st part of  Crime in Geneva    the producer decided to go for the 2nd Part and I get learned that they now looking for a nice name for the 2nd Part ... therefore kindly participate with your creative imagination noting that there will no changes in the main actors

You walked to Cornavin station on your own?  in daylight!!  Joe be very careful about how you interpret some of these emails.  You might get the false impression that Geneva is safe.   I for instance was not mugged when I went to Cornavin but I could have been if a mugger had been there

Maybe a mugger was there but he just wasn't that into you?

Oh you mean the mugger was busy somewhere else? That was a lucky day for you!

You mean there is only one mugger at Cornavin?  Joe, it is probablay safe to come to Geneva (porvided Charlie is not there to meet us) and we could set a trap for this mugger.  You could wander around looking muggable and I could survey the situation while having a beer in the brasseurs

I'm with you for the beer.......

After 3 years in wonderous Geneva, I still feel safe here.

I have had business peers visiting Starbucks, having their laptop bags taken. Friends who have had their bike seats stolen. I think when you look for a problem it will erupt quite often. Like flies to cow patty.

Its about being sensible. I was lost last night in my car, found myself in what by day is a safe location, near EFG by the river, as I reached the park I turned around and was trying to figure out my SatNav to locate a street in Servette!! As I did I noticed someone from the river side running towards my car. Time to move on I thought, as I went 1/4 km so did this dark and shady person. I finally went right outside a parking delivery part of EFG. Found the location and entered it in. Clearly Mr Slim shady was a mini typical drug dealer of sorts thinking I was his next bank-roll. I was not afraid, as I was in essence the accidental tourist.

Men and women bike these routes, to a large extent without any event. Legalise prostitution in Pacquis is perhaps then a good thing, preventing the underdogs and dangers that comes from an illegal trade found elsewhere. In fact, I read they pay their taxes. Its an area near where many of us go to learn French eg at Inlingua. The only dangers posed are the risks to personal possessions. Targets tend to be women, the vulnerable.

Enjoy your life, dig deeper into your soul to find your inner peace, knowing that there are hundreds and thousands of souls in Geneva without crime touching upon their life.

They stole my partner's bike friday and I still remember the 180 euros they took outta my pocket around Cornavin.

FROM MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE Geneva is by far the most dangerous city I've been to... I lived in NYC, los angeles, medellin colombia, frankfurt am main germany, brussels belgium and now here.

never had anything stolen until here!

Now apart from the predictable boring political correctness some seem to show on this thread, so they can look like they are very open minded and liberal..... (it's the thing to be in a city filled with lonely, miserable expats with great jobs that make tons of money but still feel crappy and lonely)

I think Geneva doesn't have much crime when it comes to shootings, and gangs and mafias all of that stuff.... but they do love to fucking pickpocket people and bike stealing!

Um stealing bikes and pick pocketing happens in every city around the world ...

And I don't get why this makes Geneva more "dangerous"? Did they threaten with a knife or a gun while taking the bike or the money?

Argh I replied to the wrong comment, that last quote was supposed to be on post 138...

Are you suggesting they should? I hope none of them reads this thread... I am not sure if the issue with forum threads being listed in search engine was resolved...

That's why I used caps when I said FROM MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE.... because these sort of things never happened to me in the other countries/cities where I lived.... so Geneva has given me that sour taste already,

I don't think Geneva is more dangerous than other places but crime does exist, so people need to be aware, many come to Switzerland thinking you can leave your door wide open because so and so told them back home that Switzerland was so organized, and clean and safe etc.... but in reality Switzerland is just like any other country in the world..... with its good and bad and that includes people.

Just because ppl disagree with you on a topic, people show quote "predictable boring political correctness" and are "lonely, miserable expats with great jobs that make tons of money but still feel crappy and lonely"

?

Please do enlighten on that statement ....*grabbing the popcorn and awaiting the entertainment*

Agree on "Switzerland is just like any other country in the world" and case closed

Bike thieves, pickpockets and muggers can read? Wow.

I carry an ENORMOUS bloody big gun , so I can shoot muggers on sight.. so anyone running at me better be able to dodge bullets!

Also Ive attached the 1000kw main electric circuit to all my external doors and windows in my very empty house.

That reminds me to feed my 4 very hungry and ferocious Rottweilers.

I think that should do it.... ;-)

ahahahha don't take me too serious.... I am very outspoken almost annoying and self absorbed!!! I am to be ignored! plus I am gay so....

just one thing, I HATE POLITICALLY CORRECTNESS and the hypocrisy that comes with it.... crime in geneva went up since Schengen... it's a FACT, don't see why it's a crime to say so! (around many people you need to take on certain attitude where you need to be politically correct and analyze the situation from a fair social standpoint etc.)

the lonely expats with great jobs that feel miserable and lonely in switzerland and use glocals as a way to find a date comment because otherwise they have nothing else to do but hang around those overpriced cliche cocktail bars around the lake while pretending to be like the characters of the sex in the city comment, it's simply me thinking out loud and commenting it here.

heheheehehehehe 

cheers, have a good one

whats being "gay" got to do with it?

I dont think muggers ask people first,

Mugger : "excuse me, are you straight or gay?"

A: "gay!"

Mugger : <whack> "gimme your cash"

A. "ouch you bitch that really hurt"

hahaahahaha

I dont even know what to say to this comment, so I won't waste my time commenting on it other than I see we have a different sense of humor.

Cheers

Mugger:: "excuse me are you straight or gay?"

Joe Buck : <nervous twitch> "err .... oh my god please don't...oh my" <twitch twitch>

Mugger: "oh for fucks sake" <walks away>

Popcorn aside? Indeed, sarcasm is not appreciated all the time. Pity.

So the myth that ALL women get on with gays is a lie?

Dammit thats one urban myth clarified for me then.

Wait..... you have a sense of humor?

hahahaha

whatever

some women are nice and down to earth, others need a good shag so they can relax and remember that you only live ONCE!

it really depends....

Mugger: Excuse me, are you gay?

Joe Buck: yes I am, why?

Mugger: oh I was gonna mug you but being you're gay and very good looking, maybe we could go out on a date?

I disagree. Now Diogenes would be a more appropriate example :)

no need to be rude....

rude against who?

I am not aiming my comment at any body in particular....

Ewww I now realize you hugged me.

Never mind, just thought you were throwing a hissy fit, but my bad, sorry for misreading it.

Crime in Geneva? this happens?!!!

No?! could it be that geneva is just like any other city in the world?!

oh well, my bubble is well and truly burst, best go back to Glasgow.... now where are my drugs and my bullet proof vest

;)

yeah but you were in a dress... I didnt have my glasses on, so what do you expect.

ahhahaahahah not at all..... this is a forum on the internet!

No need to be throwing hissy fits... 

I think you are mistaking me for another member that happened to be the same night at the bar ;)

And Charlie... F... off!

that better not be aimed at me, he didnt need glasses, he had on his beer goggles

nope.... Cat...was defo you mate.... 

and catalin....... FU2 ! :-)

lol, hilarious. It is always funny to follow this thread ;-)

Continue guys continue :-)

OH yes I do love sarcasm, but I don't really find his one to be a good type of sarcasm, maybe it's a cultural difference, what do I know?

Ahahaha ! ;)

Just to get the thread back on track, I have noticed 3 aspects of crime here in Geneva: 1) It is a rising trend 2) there is violence involved 3) mostly committed by certain foreigners (without stereotyping) and arrogant gang members.... hmmm... reminds me of every city... :-/

Stabings seem to be often mentioned in the news but that is simply because everyone thinks Geneva to be a safe place when in fact it is and it is not, it depends. Thus when a stabbing does occur, we are all very attentive to it... whereas in Miami... we wouldn't care about it. Go for a walk in Paquis by yourself at midnight and I can tell you that you will look over your shoulder very often. But that is a locality within Geneva. Carouge is different. I live in Prangins and I have to worry about the sheeps and cows! Them bastards!!

To be honest, when you can buy all sorts of knives in the streets (as it is a national pride to sell sharp pieces of metal) well we can only imagine that this has negative consequences on actions/reactions especially when a nervous dork gang teen wields one. No different from guns and the likes! In any case, such acts of violence are limited to the street scums and gang type idiots. If you dont mix with them, you are safe... But if you eyeball one by accident...then watch out!

On a different note... what about the terrible customer service here in Geneva... now that is a f*cking crime!

Forgot to mention... cops don't care about you here especially if you are non swiss. You are a victim for a reason. The horror...  

But seriously, enjoy Geneva. In general very uber safe!

Can't agree on it eventhough I had only 1 experience with the police. Minor incident. As my French is realy bad (I do speak German), one was able to help me on the phone in English. Within 10 minutes 2 cars came with 4 officers and they checked the whole area for about 20 minutes. If I called them in Amsterdam for something simmilar I should have been happy if even 1 came within 30 minutes.

I guess I over generalized. When I was robbed (not violently)... the cop showed up 1 hour later... but it was late and a friday evening. I am sure their hands were very tied on more pressing matters.

This has got to be the most ineteresting thread I have ever read. But what I would like to know is where is Uncle Buck! Sorry I mean Joe Buck!! I hope he survived his weeked in Geneva!

i agree...had an incident at 3am at cornavin, was set upon by some kung fu types, and a buddzy and I had to fend off 2 each... when the cops arrived they immediately went for the less foreign looking foreigners... we were asked if we wanted to press charges, but since I was ready for bed and we had given a beating down we let it go.... cops took 10mins to come... not bad.

Someone suggesting branching out a little bit and customer service was mentioned as a crime.  Not really worth it as there is none so how could it be considered a crime.  But we have been surprisingly non rascist on this site. could we note unleash our hidden fascist tendendies?  could we not organise a Swiss residents long weekend in Eastern europe with the aim of begging and picking a pocket or two.  After all the competition is non existent, they all apear to be in Geneva.  Also why here in Lugano where I work during the week are there no... dare I say it ...Gypsies or police on the streets

LOL to the sheeps and cows, ditto, have the same "problem" living up at Saleve...

Customer service in Geneva can't be worse than in Paris, just saying ;)

Since everyone is admitting which crime happened to her/him, I will do the same,

My bike was stolen 2 years ago. Ok, it was just a second hand bike, but getting another one was a problem. I had to buy another second hand bike for 150 CHF. That was a ripe off. In Amsterdam, if your bike got stolen, you just go to the next drug addict on the street, pay him 20 Euro and he will get you any type of bike you like. If you are lucky, he might even get you your own bike back ;-)

So why did you not buy an easyjet ticket to Amsterdam

Are we talking about the only mugger in cornavin here.  if so and he wacks gays, then if i pretend I am straight I should have even less of a problem.  

Hmmmmm..... hmmmmmm.... I have to disagree on the service aspect. In fact we can start a new thread on this issue (... if you feel like it. Let me know). But I do consider bad service a crime!!

When I am in France, or Paris (as it seems to be an independant nation), the service I get is tenfold that of Geneva based customer service. The only 2 sectors where service is tops in Geneva (and mind you they are not necessarily GE based) are telephony (in store) and banks (in store and phone service). Restaurant service in GE is poison, Manor (and the likes) is poisoned ideology. Problem is that these stores and consumer conglomerates already hold such a large chunk of the market that they simply do not care to offer more... say what you want!! ;-)

True... I might be negative and generalizing but there is a certain business 'Laisser Faire' in Geneva... and somehow it can be appreciated to a degree..

And no! Please no comments about 'go back to your country if you are not happy!!' cuz I am very happy. No place is perfect and especially not in this country which has its fair share of heavy issues.

But to come back to crime in Genava... Yes it surfaces

Hi!

I think that it depends how to count, but I am from Moscow and lived in London near the strangest places but have never been affected. BUT i move to Geneva - the most boring place in the world and the most boring country and safe by all standards or being thought of so.

A. I have had my flat broken into

B. the car has been vandalized

C. my friend's bike has been stolen

D. My friend's hand bag has been attempted to be stolen

E. The police is impossible to find by the bills for parking are mounting with magic speed

F. My other friend has her flat broken into

G. My other friend's purse has been stolen

and so on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SO no it is not safe even though I live in the very center!!!!!

Hmm maybe I haven't been long enough in Geneva? I remember how shocked I was living in Paris and never getting any service except for when in restaurants... And yes I guess Paris is it's own independant nation in sorts lol...

Give me examples and yes might need to start a thread on this, feel free as it would be interesting to see what ppl have to say on the topic if it hasn't been discussed already...

Héhé I certainly won't tell you "to go back to your country" since I'm not from here either...

PS- That video was hilarious!

I run a ring of fine prostitutes and can get wholesale on most class A substances... If you want someone stabbed I know a guy.... 

Having said that I did grow up in a provincial English town so have handled my fair share of rowdy kebab cues at 2 in the mornind... If you want zero risk living I suggest a Nepalese monastery... I here its nice this time of year... if not I'd take Geneva over Milton Keynes on a saturday any day of the week...

Come on down and have some fun :)

Sorry Hermann do not think it will work.  If I remember correctly higher up this thread Joe Buck stated that he was shocked that he was offered drugs by a policeman in St Gallen and then Charlie reported that Joe was punched in the face (the opposite side to where he was stabbed) by a mugger who asked him if he was gay. 

but I am still afraid of Joe Buck

but I am still afraid of Joe Buck - oops wrong thread