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I think my neighbour's abuses her toddler, what should I do?

I couldn't help overhearing my neighbour's repetitive screaming at her toddler. And it ain't one of those brief instances of anger some of us may have; her screaming is always accompanied with the child's crying, always, sometime objects falling. Her tantrums usually occur during the day when she's alone with her child and never in the evening when someone else's around, well, I am guessing here. It gets to a point I start banging on the walls – it’s really seems that violent. I understand that in the daytime one's entitled to make noise and all, but this is getting beyond my comprehension really. I think I have overheard couple of slaps today, yep, that loud!


Not to get paranoid and all, but what should I do, if anything at all? Unfortunately, I don’t speak the language well (big sigh) and met her only couple of times in the elevator. Shall I just go and knock at her door? What should I tell? Call the police? If so, how do I prove any of the above? Do I have the right to interfere? Keep banging on the walls? I really hope Glocal's collective wisdom will help me take the right approach)) I hope to hearing some real good suggestions. Thanks!

The text you are quoting:

I couldn't help overhearing my neighbour's repetitive screaming at her toddler. And it ain't one of those brief instances of anger some of us may have; her screaming is always accompanied with the child's crying, always, sometime objects falling. Her tantrums usually occur during the day when she's alone with her child and never in the evening when someone else's around, well, I am guessing here. It gets to a point I start banging on the walls – it’s really seems that violent. I understand that in the daytime one's entitled to make noise and all, but this is getting beyond my comprehension really. I think I have overheard couple of slaps today, yep, that loud!


Not to get paranoid and all, but what should I do, if anything at all? Unfortunately, I don’t speak the language well (big sigh) and met her only couple of times in the elevator. Shall I just go and knock at her door? What should I tell? Call the police? If so, how do I prove any of the above? Do I have the right to interfere? Keep banging on the walls? I really hope Glocal's collective wisdom will help me take the right approach)) I hope to hearing some real good suggestions. Thanks!


Ozoda MJan 24, 2017 @ 15:47
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Re: I think my neighbour's abuses her toddler, what should I do?
Post 1

My advice is to keep your nose well and truly out of it unless you have conclusive proof of physical assault.


Anyways, the French batter their children like you wouldn't believe...in the supermarkets, beach, swimming pool, street etc. They just dont have the same approach to bringing up children like in English speaking or Scandinavian countries.

The text you are quoting:

My advice is to keep your nose well and truly out of it unless you have conclusive proof of physical assault.


Anyways, the French batter their children like you wouldn't believe...in the supermarkets, beach, swimming pool, street etc. They just dont have the same approach to bringing up children like in English speaking or Scandinavian countries.


Sam I, Jan 24, 2017 @ 16:34
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Re: I think my neighbour's abuses her toddler, what should I do?
Post 2

Some quick ideas:

Probably you could call the police (phone: 117) and let them know that it seems somebody is being abused in your building when it occurs. They would come to check and see if the child is fine. Maybe you could try to record the sound on your laptop (recorder) or Iphone, to back you up in case, you will be told to make false allegations or as a proof in case they start a procedure. If you do so (as long as it doesn't seems to really be too much for you to intervene), maybe refrain from banging the walls, so you won't make yourself into potential trouble. This is probably the safe way to go for you. If she is out of her mind already, it's better (if not required) to avoid direct contact with this person, especially without really knowing what is going on. It should not eventually get you some enemies in the buildings and bad neighbour relationship. Although, actually it could maybe be a cold shower for your neighbour, if somebody comes to knock and ask if everything is fine. Tricky situation...


Alternatively, you could discuss with the other persons in the household about what is happening during the day. Maybe, they have no ideas and could take action for protecting the child. Apparently the Canton of Geneva has an office for child protection : http://ge.ch/enfance-jeunesse/protection-mineurs/interventions-socio-educatives They could seek advice there directly and no what they should do depending on the situation (maybe it is a nanny or somebody else doing the bad, who knows…).


If it turns out your neighbours aren’t really abusing theird child, but still create noise disturbance, you could write a complaint letter to the regie about it. According to CO 257f Al. 3 (https://www.admin.ch/opc/en/classified-compilation/19110009/index.html#a257f), people living inside the building should consider about other people inside the building.


Buy Quies earplugs and bury your head in the sand and evoke educational differences to feel less sorry for the child.

The text you are quoting:

Some quick ideas:

Probably you could call the police (phone: 117) and let them know that it seems somebody is being abused in your building when it occurs. They would come to check and see if the child is fine. Maybe you could try to record the sound on your laptop (recorder) or Iphone, to back you up in case, you will be told to make false allegations or as a proof in case they start a procedure. If you do so (as long as it doesn't seems to really be too much for you to intervene), maybe refrain from banging the walls, so you won't make yourself into potential trouble. This is probably the safe way to go for you. If she is out of her mind already, it's better (if not required) to avoid direct contact with this person, especially without really knowing what is going on. It should not eventually get you some enemies in the buildings and bad neighbour relationship. Although, actually it could maybe be a cold shower for your neighbour, if somebody comes to knock and ask if everything is fine. Tricky situation...


Alternatively, you could discuss with the other persons in the household about what is happening during the day. Maybe, they have no ideas and could take action for protecting the child. Apparently the Canton of Geneva has an office for child protection : http://ge.ch/enfance-jeunesse/protection-mineurs/interventions-socio-educatives They could seek advice there directly and no what they should do depending on the situation (maybe it is a nanny or somebody else doing the bad, who knows…).


If it turns out your neighbours aren’t really abusing theird child, but still create noise disturbance, you could write a complaint letter to the regie about it. According to CO 257f Al. 3 (https://www.admin.ch/opc/en/classified-compilation/19110009/index.html#a257f), people living inside the building should consider about other people inside the building.


Buy Quies earplugs and bury your head in the sand and evoke educational differences to feel less sorry for the child.


Joël F, Jan 24, 2017 @ 17:03
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Re: I think my neighbour's abuses her toddler, what should I do?
Post 3

Contact them. Ask for advice.

The text you are quoting:

Contact them. Ask for advice.


Casuistik, Jan 24, 2017 @ 20:30
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Re: I think my neighbour's abuses her toddler, what should I do?
Post 4

Are you sure it’s the child’s mother who is screamingat the toddler?  If so, why does the noise stop when someone else (who?) enters the apartment in the evening?  Maybe it’s a day carer who is making the noise.


In any case, I wouldn’t talk to the lady directly but rather have a chat with the concièrge if he or she lives in the building.  If not, why not tell the régie?  Don’t say that the child is being abused, merely that there’s a lot of screaming by an adult and it bothers you.


It seems odd that none of the other tenants appear to be concerned.


 


I would also urge you not to bang on the wall, because you might disturb someone living above or below you and then you could get “reported” as creating a disturbance.


Best wishes,


R.

The text you are quoting:

Are you sure it’s the child’s mother who is screamingat the toddler?  If so, why does the noise stop when someone else (who?) enters the apartment in the evening?  Maybe it’s a day carer who is making the noise.


In any case, I wouldn’t talk to the lady directly but rather have a chat with the concièrge if he or she lives in the building.  If not, why not tell the régie?  Don’t say that the child is being abused, merely that there’s a lot of screaming by an adult and it bothers you.


It seems odd that none of the other tenants appear to be concerned.


 


I would also urge you not to bang on the wall, because you might disturb someone living above or below you and then you could get “reported” as creating a disturbance.


Best wishes,


R.


Ritchie, Jan 24, 2017 @ 20:41
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Re: I think my neighbour's abuses her toddler, what should I do?
Post 5

Contact them. Ask for advice.


Jan 24, 17 20:30

Thanks! This looks relevant. 

The text you are quoting:

Thanks! This looks relevant. 


Ozoda M, Jan 24, 2017 @ 21:04
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Re: I think my neighbour's abuses her toddler, what should I do?
Post 6

Are you sure it’s the child’s mother who is screamingat the toddler?  If so, why does the noise stop when someone else (who?) enters the apartment in the evening?  Maybe it’s a day carer who is making the noise.

In any case, I wouldn’t talk to the lady directly but rather have a chat with the concièrge if he or she lives in the building.  If not, why not tell the régie?  Don’t say that the child is being abused, merely that there’s a lot of screaming by an adult and it bothers you.

It seems odd that none of the other tenants appear to be concerned.

 

I would also urge you not to bang on the wall, because you might disturb someone living above or below you and then you could get “reported” as creating a disturbance.

Best wishes,

R.


Jan 24, 17 20:41

I am certain it's the mother who makes the noice; she was somewhat loud while being pregnant, too. Not sure if others are concerned with the 'noise' as, fortunately or otherwise, I am not v sociable with my neighbours. I hope those who are at home during the day are concearned as at times the 'noise' seems to get pretty awfull.


Thanks for the advice re banging the walls!

The text you are quoting:

I am certain it's the mother who makes the noice; she was somewhat loud while being pregnant, too. Not sure if others are concerned with the 'noise' as, fortunately or otherwise, I am not v sociable with my neighbours. I hope those who are at home during the day are concearned as at times the 'noise' seems to get pretty awfull.


Thanks for the advice re banging the walls!


Ozoda M, Jan 24, 2017 @ 21:14
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Re: I think my neighbour's abuses her toddler, what should I do?
Post 7

Some quick ideas:

Probably you could call the police (phone: 117) and let them know that it seems somebody is being abused in your building when it occurs. They would come to check and see if the child is fine. Maybe you could try to record the sound on your laptop (recorder) or Iphone, to back you up in case, you will be told to make false allegations or as a proof in case they start a procedure. If you do so (as long as it doesn't seems to really be too much for you to intervene), maybe refrain from banging the walls, so you won't make yourself into potential trouble. This is probably the safe way to go for you. If she is out of her mind already, it's better (if not required) to avoid direct contact with this person, especially without really knowing what is going on. It should not eventually get you some enemies in the buildings and bad neighbour relationship. Although, actually it could maybe be a cold shower for your neighbour, if somebody comes to knock and ask if everything is fine. Tricky situation...

Alternatively, you could discuss with the other persons in the household about what is happening during the day. Maybe, they have no ideas and could take action for protecting the child. Apparently the Canton of Geneva has an office for child protection : http://ge.ch/enfance-jeunesse/protection-mineurs/interventions-socio-educatives They could seek advice there directly and no what they should do depending on the situation (maybe it is a nanny or somebody else doing the bad, who knows…).

If it turns out your neighbours aren’t really abusing theird child, but still create noise disturbance, you could write a complaint letter to the regie about it. According to CO 257f Al. 3 (https://www.admin.ch/opc/en/classified-compilation/19110009/index.html#a257f), people living inside the building should consider about other people inside the building.

Buy Quies earplugs and bury your head in the sand and evoke educational differences to feel less sorry for the child.


Jan 24, 17 17:03

Thanks for taking the time and sharing your opinion. It is indeed v difficult situation to tolerate – on the one hand I wouldn’t want anyone tell me how to raise my kids, on the other, keep ignoring her upbringing methods is becoming real difficult. 

The text you are quoting:

Thanks for taking the time and sharing your opinion. It is indeed v difficult situation to tolerate – on the one hand I wouldn’t want anyone tell me how to raise my kids, on the other, keep ignoring her upbringing methods is becoming real difficult. 


Ozoda M, Jan 24, 2017 @ 21:22
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Re: I think my neighbour's abuses her toddler, what should I do?
Post 8

My advice is to keep your nose well and truly out of it unless you have conclusive proof of physical assault.

Anyways, the French batter their children like you wouldn't believe...in the supermarkets, beach, swimming pool, street etc. They just dont have the same approach to bringing up children like in English speaking or Scandinavian countries.


Jan 24, 17 16:34

She isn't French though and I am far from being either of the two. Interesting observations though. Thanks for the advice. 

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She isn't French though and I am far from being either of the two. Interesting observations though. Thanks for the advice. 


Ozoda M, Jan 24, 2017 @ 21:25
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Re: I think my neighbour's abuses her toddler, what should I do?
Post 9

Maybe you should contact the SPMi (Service de Protection des Mineurs). Unfortunately, their website is all in french:


http://ge.ch/enfance-jeunesse/protection-mineurs/signalement-dun-mineur-en-danger

The text you are quoting:

Maybe you should contact the SPMi (Service de Protection des Mineurs). Unfortunately, their website is all in french:


http://ge.ch/enfance-jeunesse/protection-mineurs/signalement-dun-mineur-en-danger


Lexa K, Jan 25, 2017 @ 10:39
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