If this guys constantly wants you to proof your affection for him in public, I'm afraid someone stepped on his soul. On the other hand you just started dating, so what does he expect?

anyone else here believe in test-driving a car before you buy?

Between the sheets the puppy can be trained.

Thanks Thomas, i didn't think i was being unreasonable...

i can't  fake enthusiasm nor make myself feel uncomfortable if i don't want/choose to act a certain way

Hey Lyndsey,

Some Swiss/French like to be all over their gf in public, It can deffo be a bit too much - specially at the beginning of the relationship - I think you should just tell the guy whats your definition of affection. He will understand you need your personnal space.

Even though I agree with you that some can be really suffocating, I think I'd rather a guy show a bit too much of affection that not at all. At least you know for sure the guy cares about you. That's a positive start. =)

Thanks Lexi,

i di that in a very careful and nice way, however he has taken the strop now..

petty behaviour i think,.. it's only natural for people to be honest and set boundaries at the start of something.. i'm glad i'm not the only one who has noticed this x

"At least you know for sure the guy cares about you..."

Ummm, no, that is not the conclusion I would draw from that  kind of behavior.

From what's been described, it appears to me that he might be anyof the following:

1)  too needy and insecure;

2)  wants to be seen as being desirable;

3)  may not understand the meaning of physical and emotional boundaries;

If you  behave in a way that is unnatural for you in the beginning of a relationship, you will probably regret it eventually...

Reminds me of a cartoon I saw once.  A woman is in the bed with a big-eyed teddy bear and she says,

"I never thought I'd say this, but, 'Enough with the cuddling already.'"

hahaha thanks translator...

i am at a loss just no, everything else seemed to be going so well and i have decided from the start tha from now on i am going to be totally honest... im nt going to pretend to like the music i dont like, the wines i don't like, you get the picture..

what's the point in being who you think tey want you to be? who you ARE should be good enough in the first instance..

x

The labeling can happen I am afraid.  Years ago A parisian asked me to move to Paris and move in after 2 dates because we were a "successful couple"

A swiss had me meeting parents after 3 dates....

Perhaps you date more like an American? I know in general we are much less expressive in public and we tend to date more casually in the beginning... the PDA aspect can be quite sweet but only once a bond has been established..and it has it limitations

Nothing is more annoying than the guy at the bar who wants to hold your hand and cart you around all night.. when its obvious it is not "affection" that is going on between you and he.  

Either way, the guy is obviously kind of a douche if he throws some childish temper tantrum over your desire to save the teenager behavior for behind closed doors.  Perhaps he should date a 15 year old and they can hold hands while they eat sitting in the same side of the booth of a restaurant.

Agreed Lexi.. the British and American mentlity on this seems very similar

apparently after the first kiss it's a relationship? in that case i better re-think the amount of relationships i have had when asked (according to the french criteria)

it's bizarre to me... a real agreement as tohow things is progressing takes months... that's not to say there can't be an attraction at the start and here there most definitely was, however, as a result of me not agreeing, and what i thought was a civilised lunchtime discussion, the toy was welland truly thrown out of the pram which is a real shame cause, that aside, it was going prety well..

i don't think i was wrong merely cause i said i didnt agree with labelling it..

x

I'm trying to check in my little head and I think it makes sense but one has to be a leftie in your same side of the booth eating couple right? 

My 5cents ? : 

Meeting the parents is a step, moving in is another step, whichever can come first I'd say... but they HAVE to come when the couple is ready and both more than willing to take that step.

I'd say commitement, love, a relationship, marriage, family is working together, making certain compromises when necessary. You cannot change your partner. You love someone you don't try to change them you love them for who they are and the way they are right?

If you want to let go of a bad habit, or change something about you,

you change it only when it's your decision. It has to come from you. 

Ah and lying about yourself is trying to lie to yourself. In NEVER works out....

You did the right thing and being honest about yourself, about what you like and dislike is being honest to yourself.

There's no failure in life, i'd say it's just learning steps. You can take baby steps and fall or you can leap and fall. Maybe the baby steps keep you a bit safer?

Cuddling in public is maybe and I agree with "Lexi"  maybe something  more latin.... maybe.. I'd doubt it.

Sometimes a simple look, a touch on the shoulder can mean as much as trying to "suffocate" your poor girlfriend kissing her every 60 seconds... 

PS: Not all French are seducing lying cheating bastards, not all Scottish are drunk stabbin criminals, not all Romanians are thieves or beggars, and the list is long... ;) 

Have a good afternoon guys ! :)

Hi Lindsey,

Feels lucky, at least you find someone who is ready for a relationship, very rare in Geneva:)

It was very strange for me this notion of "date"... ( in a french movie " la verite si je mens", one of the character comes back from USA and he s been ask how are american girls, and he said : american doesn t fuck, they only date, date and date...). In france, we don t date eternaly, we flirt and this is the period test...

so by the end of the first date we got on well this would constitute a relationship?

yeah geneva has made me even more wary than i was before

This must be why I like latinos ;).. Im needy so the PDA doesnt bother me, as long as I genuinely like the person.  It drives me crazy when its someone i've known for 10 minutes 

exactly!!!

i at least want to be comfortable with them when alone before i go out in public and it looks awkward and uncomfortable x

I agree with what was said, but how is a girl to know that the guy cares if he displays no PDA at all? Been there & it's worse that too much PDA...

is a flirt a relationship?

Even sex with your flirt doesn't make it a relationship, but does make things complicated.

What is a flirt? is it the annoying way a man STARES at you for 20 minutes in the bar before walking over.. is it a date?  Now I am lost..

glad i'm not the only one

i am going to organise a night which has clear rules on what is and what is not acceptable dating etiquette

I agree with you guys. The comfort inside the couple when only between the two people will bring maybe later confidence and less awckwardness in displays of affection in public. 

PDA can stand for Public Display of Affection but also Private Display of Affection. I've been once with a girl who mostly lacked both... I agree with Lexi at a certain point it gets frustrating : you no longer trust nor feel the feelings of the other person and it can fail very fast. 

I've also met few couples where both were like that... it's weird.. they don't really seem happy they're like businessmen around a huge table... it's too cold ! (Winter but indoors) 

If it gets me out of this horrible village of Versoix. Count me in.

fabulous!!!

i will get on it..

it's going to be full of nice, well adjusted men and women, some snacks, drinks, nice music and a set of rules to be read and agreed upon prior to registration

basically... a wink/kiss/being bought a drink does not constitue a relationship

similarly, anyone who is disrespectful will be seeing the pointy end of my shoes meet their rectum...

these are all i have so far..

aie!!!!!!

oh my... 20 minutes of staring? 

wouldn't that creep you out? 

Omg that is not a date not even by "latin" standards !! LOL 

I don't really qualify the "dates" or have a precise procedure. Being yourself is more than important (and no staring for too long that's just weird).

I am very curious about these "dating rulez" lynds. 

the point is to eliminate the time wasters out there... i know some great men and women who deserve great partners and who end up dejected and hurt here when things seemed to be going well

only the genuine need show any interest

x

The whole idea sounds slightly scary, rules..

I'll bring my own rule along with me: If you aint worth talking too for atleast 30min. you can get your own drinks ; )

"being bought a drink does not constitue a relationship"

Most Swiss girls think they're princesses & guys would do everything for them not to nag.  Im swiss, though.. and I don't consider myself a needy capricious princess.

But today I realised thanks to lyndsey that guys need a serious kick in the butt around here.

it's a relationship when it's truly comfortable between both parties not when some silly book or "rules" says

i swear though, this time it's brutal honesty, maxising fun, and doing what feels right

onwards and upwards

you re so right...

Lot of my friends ( girl ) complain about that...

That s why I m organizing an event " ladies meet gentlemen", to match great girls with nice men...

I've met Swiss girls who are far from princesses but are actually amazing in their relationships.

I agree with you it's not good to generalize.  Some guys (even some girls) deserve sometimes butt-kicking. We should call it "wake up from selfishness call". 

Show my some pics of those lady friends so we can analyze the "problem"

look on my facebook page. all the single girls could be analysed:)

You should bring all of them to the Halloween party and look for a tall Dutch guy in a suit or I will find those gorgeous snow whites myself.

hahaha modest as always

now back to my post....

grrrrrrrrrr @ dating confusion

Communication is key, even with the French... if something goes beyond your comfort zone tell him/her...

"Stand off ish ness" can be worse and more frustrating than too over bearing esp to someone who craves physical attention.

Someone who doesnt appreciate  your "comfort zones" isnt worth progressing with....

Dont let them strop for this pettyness... take control of your feeling and dont be trodden on...if it doesnt work then its for a reason.... whats next...hes gonna ask for kinky sex and "if" you say no hes allowed to throw a strop?

If hes worried youre not showing passion, then show him when the lift door closes... or the moment you step into an appartment... or in a quiet shop door... or wherever.... where YOU feel comfortable.

Snogging whilst crossing the road is just plain hazardous....

Its about respect...mutual respect, not just his idea of respect...

Anyway that my 20 cents....

Are you single? :)

Now you are not making any sense buddy...

If it wasn't this early in the morning, I'd think you are wasted... unless you didn't go to bed at all ;)

Someone must have hacked Charlie's account or I'll be very dissapointed.

sorry... you caught me in a sensitive moment...wont happen again...

Hahahah.. dont forget about a gun :D

I thought Charlie's post was much too sensitive as welll.. I am glad I wasnt the only one.

I appreciate sexual inuendos and sarcasm with my morning espresso

apologies... will aim to please next time...

theres an exchange rate arbitrage in there somewhere...

reading glocals after you have kicked him out of your appartment huh? tut tut...

.... Thanks for the wake up call Lex. I now know (due to this cunningly linguistically placed experimental posting) that women dont like the soggy and floppy sentimental types, and prefer us hard and straight up rascals.

(enough innuendos there for you?)

Well, Lyndsey, it could get weirder down the line,  as in this article from the Guardian.....

Getting on all fours and making noises, I can understand. But now things have got weird

I've been married to my husband for 15 years. Our sex life was very good for several years and then dwindled. This put a great strain on the relationship so we agreed to experiment to regain some of the passion. At first things went well and our experiments were nothing too unusual. However, my husband has hinted that he would like me to imitate animals in the bedroom. I can understand getting on all fours and making noises etc, but things have got weird for want of a better term. Is this normal as I feel strange about it?

Your husband is not the only person in the world who finds it arousing when a sex partner sounds or behaves like certain animals, but clearly you do not share that interest and you don't have to do it. I applaud your willingness to try new things. Many couples are reluctant to do so, and some consequently find that their sex life gets stale. Each partner will probably have a wider range of erotic interests than is expressed, and being open to trying them can enhance the erotic connection.

However, having "agreed to experiment" does not mean that you should go along with everything. Consensual experimental sex means being able to say stop at any time – and to have your wishes respected immediately. Have a frank discussion with your husband. Reinforce the things you do enjoy about your renewed sex life, then explain you need to set limits about activities you find a turn-off.

• Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a clinical psychologist and psychotherapist who specialises in treating sexual disorders.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/ehambrick/2923931544/in/photostream/

Charlie, I was wondering if I could borrow your dog for the weekend?

sadly shes with the ex........

HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

LOOOOOOOOOOOL

I just remembered your funny story about the TV show !!! 

See you saturday !!

you will indeed buddy...

(was trying to find that video footage,,,, i?ll post if i do)

Duh

Judging from the constant, unrelentless growth in the global human population, somehow people seem to manage to get over all of these terrible problems and dilemma's ...

scientist 1: "Did you know that, somewhere in the world, a woman is having a baby every half a second?"

scientist 2: "Right, and that is the woman we have to find!"

Hi Lyndsey! Funny that u mentioned.

Had a scottish boyfriend who wouldn't stop kissing/touching/staring at me and made me very uncomfortable.

Also had a swiss boyfriend who wouldn't kiss in public even if needed the kiss of life and made me feel like I was almost non-existing to him.

I'm from Latin America where we are supposed to be much passionate, but to be honest, I didnt like either behaviour. Is not so much about nationalities, rather ones "comfort zones" like some of the guys said before.

Maybe I'll feel comfortable with a half swiss/half scottish guy. Anyone?

PS: worse that some PDA from the guy you are with, is some from another couple. I get them all the time at work: they order, then start snogging like there's no tomorrow. NO THANK YOU VERY MUCH, not interested in watching you two full on it.