For legal advise, please check http://www.permanence-juridique-geneve.ch/

Thank you Jack B

Another question : is there some kind of way to get an apartment in Geneva,

as my contract finishes and the thought of living where he lives (vaud) full-time doesn't make me happy or give any future options for work etc as it is far from the city.

I have inboxed you some places you can get help

hi Herman,

Starting a family I will suggest to voice out your concern to him.
Maybe he is not aware about the insecurities you are feeling right now and if you have decided to marry this guy in the future then I guess talking it out will be the 1st option.

Secondary is that you have a Social office in your area, its a government body that helps people that need advise or direction or actual help on what they can do on certain situation. 

But I strongly going against his back about anything. 
Good luck and hoping for the best for you.

Hi,

If you have a Dutch passport, you can find work and stay in Switzerland because of your EU status (free movement of citizens accord).  In fact, if you have an EU passport, it's strange that you don't already have a B permit with right to work.  It should say something like "concubine" (based on your boyfriend) and "avec activite".  You should double-check what it says. 

As you are unmarried, find out if you need to do paperwork with your Cantonal Authorities to declare your BF as the father (though it is automatic if you can prove you've been living together for x amount of time -- http://www.guidesocial.ch/fr/fiche/99/).  This will protect you longterm as he will have to pay something towards the birth, recovery time, and also child support. 

Really talk to someone (perhaps one of the links Marcy sent?) as you'll need financial help.

-Michelle

And here's some info on Parental Authority in English

https://www.ch.ch/en/parental-authority-unmarried-parents/

Dear Herman,

you seem to be in a mess! Is it a good idea to start a family now? Have you got a good doctor with whom you can talk?

And try the following:

http://www.hospicegeneral.ch/notre-institution/contacts/a-quel-centre-sadresser.html

They are responsible for social help.

Good luck.

Hi Herman , 

             I have read your problems Miss Hermann .. As miss Ercia explained .. Hospice general can help you out .. But I have heard that hospice help only people who are not stable financially to live ,but I think in your case your fiance is working, right? So I don't know in this case if they are going to accept your demand .And don't worry there is always a soluton for all the problems .And if there is no solution that means there is no problem .

Its the best way for you (what i am thinking) is to go and consult an advocate for one or two hours ( here one hour consultation cost 50 chf - 200 normally ) .from them you can get all the legal helps .and they will tell you necessary steps  and where exactly you have to go and   see which person etc .Because these people are practising federal laws and they know much better than us . This will be much easier for you .

Good luck and Be positive .. 

Hi Herman,

my advice if you have doubts about u and him before your baby come believe me it will not work later on too... if your family support you move on and go next to them. You must to be strong and here you can comeback any time. I wish you good luck an all the best!

If you are worried he could keep you or the baby here i suggest to go home and be with your real family, cause once you will put his name in the birth certificate of your baby he will have all the rights to fight about him. and me, as a mother, i would not be ok with it. My child has to stay with me even if the partnership doesnt ork out, i have heard lot of sad stories that the dad doesnt let the mom&baby to leave the country and etc. especially if you are without a job and etc,you will feel just misserable. Maybe i exagerate but if it is really bad just pack your bags and leave. If you dont have a staying permit you probably dont have a insurance either,right? Well,as you know all the  medical. Costs are really high, so ...just be aware of it,

good luck. Be carefull. 

I realize that with having a child a mother does all the hard work during the pregnancy. Therefore the bond between mother and child is often stronger, at least at young age. However, your advice to leave the man and take the unborn child, is not something I agree with, unless there are very good reasons. Even if the relationship does not go the way you had hoped and there is no other option than to break up, thinking so lightly about leaving to another country, which leaves the father with very limited or no access to the child, is not an idea I would promote. In raising a child the fathers participation is just as important. If the decision is made to break up, if possible, the differences between the parents should be set aside from what is in the best interest of the child.

I agree completely and I am glad you wrote this. Herman should talk with people who can see things in a detached, professional way, like a doctor or a nurse or an assistante sociale.

Thank you for all your helpful comments and advice. 

I do have a B-permit, insurance. 

i actually think the same as Eva and Inga.

i am thinking of not putting him on the birth certificate, 

as this will avoid a lot of hassle in the future. 

hospice general is not an option as my permit is based upon his wealth & he is financially responsible for all costs during this 5 year. 

I am going to find a good lawyer and take it from there.  

Thanks again. 

Well..this is her decision, of course, and you are right,you should think what is the best for the child  BUT I doubt that a dad who changes his mind and makes his pregnant woman to doubt about his motivs and future together is the best thing for a child. and she is not from switzerland.  If she is going to be a single mom she will need her family and friends to help and support,and that is not what she going to get here. There are a lot of questions of course- weather she speaks french,weather she has a good educationa nd etc, to be able to stay here and raise the child. And the dad is working too and wont be there for her all the time either.e specially if they split up. Often we justs ee the person's real face when there are problems and complicated things to solve. 

I just shared my opinion. I would really consider not to put the father's name on the birth certificate and that is all. And if you ask me what would i do if i would break up with my swiss husband?! I would pack my bag and would take my child and leave asap. and the dad can come and visit him whenever he wants. 

Sorry to break this to you but speaking from experience if your permit is in his name, you do not have the option of not putting him in the birth certificate unless you can prove he is not the father. Plus since you are here on his account he will have to take care of you and the baby. The hospice will take over if and when he officially says he cannot do it. I suggest you go to LAVI or solidarity femme.

They will help you sort things out.

What a pity that the birth of a child and the new life of two parents should begin like this, with resentment, lawyers etc !!!!!!

My decision would be to not have this poor baby, apparently conceived  by accident, first sort out my life trying not to be dependent on someone and then think of bringing to life a child.

Well Erica, it is too late for that !! as, abortions are not performed after 3 months, 5 months in Holland. Also, if you would have read my post : we are still together , without resentment or any fights. He changed a lot ever since he knows it is impossible for me to get out of  having a baby. Therefore I am looking into how to protect myself legally and the baby. Something which any responsible loving future mother would do. 

Like the previous poster wrote: there are a lot of sad stories of men forcing the woman to stay here, deciding every move Etc. 

Living on welfare is not an option, the baby allowance is 500 per child what I heard.

I am sure that in a case of an actual break up he will be difficult in anything, even in that.

And let's face it : you cannot buy more than a kebab from that  in CH(figure of speech). 

Would not registering the father’s name on the birth certificate really avoid all problems in the future?  Many adults to whom that happened would like to find out who fathered them and whether they have half-siblings.

I know someone who loves her adoptive family dearly for all the care and support they have given and still give her, but her appearance is “Arab” and she longs to know who her father was and where he might be now so that they could get in touch.

R.

OMG what kind of advice you give when you didn't have this kind if situation???? the accident happend allready think about what can happen tomorrow!!!

i don't know the locals rules but in many countries if you are not married you dicide his last name...don't put under his name if u are not married with him or u don't trust ur relation, will be a problem if u decide to separate in one day or maybe not if he will not care about his child, about this kind of question u may talk with a lawyer, and don't be afraid bcs "the baby is the best of the best"

How do you know I didn't live trough the same situation?

Because if you had then probably you would have a child now that you would love more than anything else and you could never say you would better have her/him aborted!!! 

I am sorry but you are wrong.

Well...i suppose there is no point to continue this conversation. 

Hear, hear.  R.

Dear Herman,

If I only can give you any advice I would fully support Inga and Eva. It's difficult to consider without not knowing the reasons why did you come here from your native country, but if I were you I would go back to the Netherlands and give birth there. Not only because your family and friends are there but also because there you have a maximum level of legal protection as a citizen of that country. Time will show how to handle this situation in the future because the door for the father is always open: he knows where to find you and if he would feel the connection and wish to support his child, he will always find the way how to do it. But I am absolutely confident that in the interests of the kid is to be with his/her mother, of course if she loves and cares about her baby. The rest  - financial stability, job, salary - is secondary. You will make it, I am absolutely sure. You have already took a very serious and responsible decision to keep your baby so you are definitely on the right path. I know what I am talking about - I am a mother of 2 children and I have a personal experience of fighting for the rights for my daughter to stay with me here in Switzerland, with her Ukrainian father. It took me 3 years and it is not yet over. Thanks God that after 1 year of legal cases in Ukraine my daughter is already here with me for the last 3 months but this is still under risk. I know personally what is it to deal with a man whom you were brave enough to say "no"... So you are perfectly right - it's always better not to put yourself into such situation instead of facing the concequences after... Go to the lawyers, check with them and do everything to keep you, your maternal rights and your baby on the safe side. Life is long and in case of the positive change you will always be able to reconsider about the rights of the father. What is important now is not to put a baby in the middle of your conflict with your boy-friend even if this conflict is just potential. 

Try to avoid the stress as much as possible, think positively and all the best luck to you and your little one :-) You are not alone - there is always a solution, just do not give up. In case of need I am personally ready to help you - we can always discuss it offline.

Take care, dear Herman, and again - good luck!

Hello Herman

I am sure you will make the right decision for yourself. You already got all those addresses where to fight for your rights and Im sure you gonna use that advice. Switzerland has already experienced such cases so you are not alone, still you will need a lawyer.

Hey you good people, who are giving all the great advices, why dont we all collect so that Herman gets a good lawyer. Let us solidarise with Herman for a good lawyer.

How about spending sFr. 50:00 each on an account somewhere, Herman can give us the details. Come on guys let us solidarise  

Fine for me 

As you are not married the child will have your surname, and for the father to go on the birth certifcate he will need to fill in a form at the Etat Civil. He does not have to be on the certificate, they will ask if this is correct but that is it.

Make the decision on what you feel is best for you and your child, and the rest will come with time.

I hope things work out for you whatever you decide.

Erica M, Inga P, Eva U, Please stop giving your personal opinions and stop disputing on this thread. This really make no sense. Herman would like to know where she stands legally today and needs clear information/advice. When you ladies want to have some small talk, there are other threads, or (even better) other sites for that.

poor baby! i know my comment will be considered cruel,stupid or whatever. But i would like to say. because of the stupidity of two persons and their ego will effect a child's whole life and he/she gonna suffer a lot and the questions will keep hurting the child!  

You're another example of someone who likes to give his opinion to make himself feel better. Your useless on this thread

Thank you all for your kind words, 

hey Brad listen she asked about some advices ...so i did...u don't have any right to tell me to stop bcs i was talking by facts...everyone have different oppinion about this storry but she decide who to listen and what to do.

2nd of ur comment which one is useless...don't rebuke someone unless you don't look under your mustache!!!